As a transgender woman, there were many requirements in order to receive my first trans-affirming surgery: facial feminization surgery. It started with an appointment with my general practitioner. He had me schedule an extended information phone call about the procedure with someone else in his office (technically an appointment, so copay still required). After that call, I scheduled a consult with the surgeon I’d chosen (the waitlist was several months). The surgeon’s office wouldn’t give me a surgery date until I had my approval letters, which brought me back to my general practitioner’s office. The first step for the letters was another information call where I was asked questions about my medical history. (Another copay.) After this was completed, the office was able to set me up with my official psych eval and medical eval — two more appointments, copays required, both not available for months. Finally, I had approval and was able to schedule my surgery date. The plan after my consult had been October, but by the time this was completed there were no appointments until the end of February.

I’m once again going through these same steps for bottom surgery. Except this time the hospital has their own additional psych and medical evaluations they require — three more appointments that for some reason can’t be used for insurance coverage in place of the appointments with my general practitioner. Bottom surgery also requires a year of hair removal from the surgical site.

I’m 31-years-old and I’ve been on hormones for over seven years. My commitment to my gender and moving through this world as a trans woman has been proven, I’d say.

So imagine my surprise when I saw a clip online from Fox News talking about teenagers going to school with one gender and returning home with another! They were saying kids could get trans surgeries as easily as getting a Big Mac at the drive-thru or, I don’t know, buying a gun at a Walmart.

Clearly, I’ve been going about this all wrong. Clearly, I have the wrong doctors or live in the wrong city, because I would like to avoid any more hurdles and just get my next surgery please.

While an effective advertisement in catching my interest, there wasn’t any number to call to actually go through this accelerated surgery process. If this is available for kids, it should definitely be doable for me. Especially since last time I checked trans minors rarely get surgery and usually it’s just an issue of totally reversible puberty blockers, correct hormones given in cases where someone has been living as their gender for many years, or, most commonly, just using the name and pronouns that make a kid feel better at a time in life when everything is really fucking hard.

Anyway, I’m lucky to finally have a job with health insurance so I can afford these surgeries I’ve wanted for many years, since cost is also often a prohibitive part of the process. But if I could find these drive-thru surgeries I might just throw in some new tits for fun.

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