Some Answers to Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us #3

HAVE YOU WRITTEN ABOUT THIS / I NEED INFORMATION

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idk if this is appropriate use of the Priority Contact Box but i have a suggestion/request/desire/dream: a poetry column/series/thing.
Riese: We did! We still write about poetry sometimes but guess how many people read it when we do? Like five people. It breaks my poetry-loving heart.

so autostraddle, for almost all things queer related, i have found you be a veritable encyclopaedia of knowledge and advice. however, having recently gone through a break-up, i was slightly surprised by the absence of resources available on your website. i was expecting something similar to “how to have lesbian sex 101” but more like “how to go through a lesbian break-up 101”. am i missing something?
Riese: OH MY FRIEND! You are missing something indeed! Firstly, we have released AN ENTIRE BOOK ON THIS TOPIC:

broke-up-like-this

This is a good place to start: The Best Break-Up Advice You Will Ever Get. Then you can just dig your tears into a little nook of the web tagged with “breaking up.”

It’d be really great to see more positive articles about trans women. My girlfriend’s been really drained and depressed about her gender identity lately and it’d be cool to have something nice to link her.
Riese: Yes I agree, that would be great. Here are some more uplifting and positive articles about trans women to tide her over while we work on improving everything about how we operate:

“What is your theory on why lesbian spaces (bars, bookstores, festivals, etc) close and die more often than gay men’s spaces? Is it just the nesting? Is it because we are 70 cents to their dollar?”
Riese: Gay men go out more than lesbians do and have more disposable income with which to do so and also women nest, they do, they just nest. Gay men have more of a pick-up scene, gay men are more likely to go out to find people to have sex with, but even gay mens’ spaces are suffering because of tinder and ’cause now we can connect on the internet. Also I mean — have you been to a lesbian bar? Women aren’t that great at meeting new people and hitting on each other, it can be a terrifying and isolating experience!

But it’s not that we never go out — we just do different things, like we have Autostraddle Met-Ups and Tegan & Sara concerts and roller derby games and protests and queer haircutting parties and camping trips and potlucks and shit.

Honestly in general it’s difficult to create thriving businesses for any segment of the LGBT community ’cause we’re such a tiny silver of the population. Here’s some things we’ve written on the topic:

I’m embarking on a self-care project. With roughly 8 months until my 30th birthday, I’m starting a list of “30 Books to Read Before I’m 30”- it will be a mix of marked up, dog eared, well loved books that I return to over and again along with new recommendations from other women who are either about to turn 30 soon or who have already well passed that mark. So this is a looooong way of asking you, my beloved and respected AS editors, what book would you put on such a list? What did you read and moved your soul? What crept into your intimate thought places and still you think of from time to time? What would you recommend to a young lass who is about to hit the big 3-0 and is terrified?
Riese: Birds of America by Lorrie Moore, Two or Three Things I Know for Sure by Dorothy Allison, Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion, Bad Behavior by Mary Gaitskill, The First Bad Man by Miranda July, Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

how do the comment awards work? does somebody read through every single comment from the week in one go, or does it happen throughout the week? I assume y’all try to choose people who are new or who don’t comment a lot to encourage them to comment more, but how do you keep track of that? or like is that not what happens at all? just wondering! also why was taylor swift back for one week only?
Yvonne says: So Carrie is the wonderful person who is in charge of comment awards! I’m not sure of her method but she always finds the best ones! Sometimes the team will tell her who definitely deserves a comment award and sometimes the readers do too. If you see a funny, clever or thought-provoking comment, you can email her at carrie [at] autostraddle [dot] com.

YOU GUYS YOU GUYS. Did you see that the epic amazing incredible lesbian feminist haunted house is going to be in LA this year??? Loooook. OMG I’m SO glad I moved to southern California.
Riese: Oh gosh we did. You may have read our reaction to this event in the Insider. I am actually afraid to ask Laneia for an update on what happened to our many attempts to get coverage of this event because I don’t want to re-break her heart. But it sounds like a dream. A nighmarish dream but a DREAM. Unfortunately having recently moved to Michigan I had to settle for the Hallow’een Spectacular at Greenfield Village.

Hey Laneia, do you have any swedish ancestry?
Laneia says: I don’t believe that I do, no. But my name is a bastardization of the (apparently common?) Swedish name, Linea! So there is that.

Steven Universe recaps. Stat.
Rachel says: Man, if saying the name of a thing that one wanted and then saying the word “stat” after it made that thing occur, the world would be such a different place! Unfortunately none of our team members have the time or energy or brainspace or screenshot-taking capacity to start recapping a weekly show on top of everything else they do, especially one that’s covered extensively on the internet at large, but I promise your feelings have been heard and commiserated with, stat.
Heather says: Also, when queer stuff happens on Steven Universe, either myself or the incomparable Mey Rude write about it in Boob(s On Your) Tube. (And plus it’s on hiatus until 2016, yeah?)

Has there ever been a USWNT gallery post? I need one!
Heather says: Perhaps you will enjoy Look at That Alternative Lifestyle Haircut: Women’s World Cup 2015 Edition.

Laneia, you give such good advice! How do you choose what emails to respond to for the column? Sorry in advance if this has already been asked.
Laneia says: Thank you! I choose the ones that are easiest for me to answer, to be honest. If it’s something I think another team member would know more about, or it’s complicated and requires a whole post to get to the bottom of all its guts, I’ll slide it on over to someone else.

am I losing my mind, or did Riese (or someone) once write an essay about the ethics of being vegetarian/ vegan? Can you link me back to that, if indeed it exists? :)
Riese: It would’ve been very funny if I’d written that as I am not vegan or vegetarian, although the reason for that is that I have so many weird food neuroses already that cutting out meat would make it really impossible for anybody to make me dinner. I remember Laneia did this Open Thread once and everybody yelled at her! Alex Vega watched “Forks Over Knives” once and became a vegan allegedly and she loves to talk about it. Here’s an interview with a Vegan Visionary. Here’s all the vegan things.

why does autostraddle use the word teevee not T.V. or television?
Rachel says: We’re full of mystery!
Riese: Because Eileen Myles does! Also I think it’s just me? Does everybody on our site do that or just me.

Riese what stephen dunn collection do you recommend I start with?
Riese: Okay I’m gonna cheat a little and suggest, of course, New & Selected Poems 1974-1994. It contains poems from a few collections but is the book I first fell in love with (as detailed in this Pure Poetry Post.)

Is there an article somewhere that lists/reviews different perfumes? Every time I find one I like, stores end up discontinuing the line (Gap 1969, for example), and I never know where to start to find a new one. I don’t want to smell like a man, but I also don’t want to smell like a flower or grapefruit or something, and I feel like Autostraddle would have good recs on something in between.
Rachel says: We published this in 2011, but I’m not sure how many of those fragrances are still current/available? That’s sort of the challenge of writing about that stuff, is that it changes pretty frequently and so it becomes less relevant quickly. Some people wrote about their favorite fragrances in their This Shit Rules product roundups! I like masculine-ish scents and I like Long Winter Soap Co’s Houndstooth perfume oil and Smell Bent’s Five as well as their Gimel A Break scent which I tragically dropped on the bathroom floor and broke which is the worst because I think it was a limited edition holiday scent that I can’t buy again. ANYWAYS I like reading Arabelle Sicardi’s perfume advice a lot, here’s a thing she wrote on “unique perfumes” and I think she has a tag on her blog for it. If you want to try out some perfumes without dropping a fortune on something you might not like, I like The Perfumed Court — you can order very tiny sample sizes of almost any perfume in the world to see if you like it for affordable prices before you commit to them.
Riese: I can confirm that Burberry Brit, which I recommended way back then, continues to exist and I love it a lot.

I love you. Thank you for reminding me about grown up real world things are happening when I get sucked into conflict.

I NEED ADVICE

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I need hair help! I’ve got a short pixie cut and I have no idea what products to use or how to style it! I’m also super lazy so I don’t want to do anything with it that would take more than ten minutes, tops. Please help! Sincerely, Confused Hair Girl
Yvonne says: Come on, people! Help a Confused Hair Girl out! I don’t know the answers but this is Autostraddle and at least someone reading this must know the answer. My girlfriend has a short pixie-ish cut and she runs a tiny bit of coconut oil through her hair when it’s wet to keep it soft and shiny. When it’s dry, she uses a thing called “coco wax termo” by L’Izzo New Hair Generation to style it. She has long hair at the top of her head so she uses a curling iron to kind of curl it in a way. Maybe you can find some tips and inspiration in the alternative lifestyle haircut tag.

Please could you ask Heather Hogan if she has tried her Roomba on a couch/other upholstery? I think in general, the world is waiting with baited breath for a HH Roomba Update.

Heather: Well, the thing is that the Roomba is for the floor! If you put it on a couch it would just spin around and around because it’s too smart to drive itself off onto the ground, but there’d be nowhere for it to go! But it definitely works on both tile, hardwood, and fabric rugs, and zooms easily between those things.

Riese, I wanted to thank you for writing “The Best Break-Up Advice You’ll Ever Get.” I’m currently sitting in an airport in Belgium waiting for a flight that will take me away from the girl that I’ve been in love with for three years. Although I feel like my world is ending and I feel like I too will never be able to breathe without shaking again, I’m finding it comforting to read your words. This is how I’m supposed to feel, I will not feel like this forever, I will feel whole again. But what do I do until then? How do I get up and go on? I have no idea what I do know. How do I get myself up, go to college, go to the gym, eat a meal. How do I force myself to do these things? I know you are the CEO of this website and therefore have many, many better things to do that respond to emotional 20-somethings with too many feelings (no doubt you get lots of these emails every week) but I just … don’t know what to do next. I don’t know how to begin again. Thanks xoxo
Riese: You just do it. You just get up and you go because it is the only thing you can do. You drag your body around like a sad sack from place to place. You go because Not going — because skipping school and skipping the gym and ignoring your friends — is going to make a bad situation even worse, you know? There is nothing you can do to heal your heart right now, but these other things, like “showing up”? You can do those things. You know how to do that! You know how to get out of bed and walk to a place. Find comfort in these familiar motions, these things you know how to do. It’s the only thing you can do so you are going to have to do it.

So I just started college and it’s my first time being completely out, and having that be OK (to everyone with the exception of my 92 year old great Aunt and some of my extended family). However that being said, I still don’t really have any queer friends, and I don’t really know where to go to meet some. And if I don’t even have lesbian friends how am I ever going to find a girlfriend (when I’m ready to be in a relationship)? I’ve never had a (real) relationship with a girl before. How do I proceed?
Yvonne says: I promise it’s all going to be alright! You will find lesbian friends and when the time is right for you, you’ll find a girlfriend. Lucky for you, Autostraddle’s got your back and we have a whole plethora of college advice for you! Back in August, we made an Ultimate Back-To-School Advice post and there’s several of us talking about how to meet queer friends and advice on hooking up and dating in college. I hope everything turns out grand!

Hey! Okay, so, you’re primarily nerds into queer stuff! I’m a nerd into queer stuff about to marry a nerd who is medium about queer stuff. We’re trying to collect readings for our wedding – ANY ADVICE? We’re trying to find something that is explicitly about two ladies and also something (either in the same quote or different) about like real domestic homey love (not the like, I’d drive off a cliff with you tomorrow, also sex stuff, kind of thing). I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU’D KNOW OF SOMETHING that’s been meaningful to you off the top of your heads because you’re kind of amazing. THANK YOU A LOT

Heather says: Gosh! I don’t know! Maybe:

Ninth Doctor: “Do you wanna come with me? ‘Cause if you do, then I should warn you — you’re gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won’t be quiet, it won’t be safe, and it won’t be calm. But I’ll tell you what it will be: the trip of a lifetime!”

Or Neil Gaiman from Sandman:

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. . . . You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore.”

The Princess Bride?

“Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches… I have stayed these years in my hovel because of you. I have taught myself languages because of you. I have made my body strong because I thought you might be pleased by a strong body. I have lived my life with only the prayer that some sudden dawn you might glance in my direction. I have not known a moment in years when the sight of you did not send my heart careening against my rib cage. I have not known a night when your visage did not accompany me to sleep. There has not been a morning when you did not flutter behind my waking eyelids…
I love you. Okay? Want it louder? I love you. Spell it out, should I? I ell-oh-vee-ee why-oh-you. Want it backward? You love I… I’ve been saying it so long to you, you just wouldn’t listen. Every time you said, ‘Farm Boy, do this’, you thought I was answering, ‘As you wish’, but that’s only because you were hearing wrong. ‘I love you’ was what it was.

The Last Unicorn?

“You were the one who taught me… I never looked at you without seeing the sweetness of the way the world goes together, or without sorrow for its spoiling. I became a hero to serve you, and all that is like you. Also to find some way of starting a conversation…
I would enter your sleep if I could, and guard you there, and slay the thing that hounds you, as I would if it had the courage to face me in fair daylight. But I cannot come in unless you dream of me… I love whom I love.”

That’s all I’ve got. I’ll think on it more.

I saw an ad for LOLA tampons, apparently they are 100% cotton and could be delivered directly to my door, they claim to be a better choice for my body. Are they?
Laneia says: 100% cotton is definitely better for your body than other blends of fibers! You should probably do it. Who doesn’t love a good tampon/delivery service adventure? Let me know how it goes!

How to get over a crush/obsession that will never happen?
Heather says: The hard truth is you need to put some physical and emotional distance from the crush/obsession and focus on some other things/people, even if you have to force yourself to do it. You’ll still think about the crush/obsession all the time, but the more time and space you have away from them, and the more things you do that don’t involve them, the less and less you will obsess over them. And then one day you’ll wake up and realize you didn’t think about them at all the day before. And one day you’ll realize it’s been a week since you thought about them. Time and space, friend. Time and space.

Oh god help. I was married and then I was single for a really long time and now I’m possibly going on a date with a girl with amazing hair and I don’t know if I can do it… the thought of having to shave my legs and make conversation and try to be interesting again is just awwwwwful. Dying alone surrounded by my cats is a legit life choice, right? Alternatively, are conversation topic flash cards acceptable? How do people even date now!? Its been a million years!
Rachel: I think conversation flash cards are totally acceptable or at least probably kind of cute. I think dating is probably more fun and less awful if you think of it less like “trying to be interesting” and try not to obsess over whether you seem appealing or how appealing the other person is and whether you two would agree on what to name your cats and just think of it as like an adventure, a fun story waiting to happen. If you don’t have any expectations and if your only aim is “have fun, have an interesting evening” rather than “determine whether this person is my lifemate/try to advertise myself for a second date” then I think you’re set up for success! What if you made bingo cards? I guess that’s the kind of thing where if you were in a sitcom episode you’d end up falling head over heels for this person and then six months later they’d find the bingo card and you’d have a big fight, huh.

Baby gay here, trying to get into cute gay hats this fall! Where is everyone getting their super slouchy, soft and cozy but also cool beanies? I feel like everyone else got a welcome kit to queerness that came with one of those and I never got mine, please help.
Yvonne says: Oh hi! You know, I would like to know the answer to this too and I don’t really consider myself a baby gay. But I know what you mean, I’m so envious of hot queers and their perfectly slouchy, soft beanies. Our lovely Fashion/Style editor, Lydia will figure this out for you, so look out for a post on this very thing!

You guys I’m so tired how do i be less tired I am so tiiired
Rachel says: Babe you gotta slow down! Set a hard and fast bedtime and make yourself stick to it. Look into iron and/or B12 supplements (if your doctor says that’s ok for you!), deficiencies in those can make you really exhausted. Sometimes I like to yell into a pillow I’M SO TIRED or gchat my best friend in all caps I’M SO TIRED. Maybe that will help. I’ll light a candle for you.

I’ve been so busy with life I haven’t been able to comment as much as I’ve wanted but I love you guys and all of the autostraddle team.

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57 Comments

  2. 1. Sally I see it as dark blue too!!
    2. I am SO EXCITED that someone saw my photo from the Identity Project in the wild! I have not, and that’s amazing. 3. I love reading these priority inbox things a lot. Feeling really emotional and full of love right now. I’m getting teary eyed at work. I am not a very productive employee when these come out.

    • I refuse to believe it is not dark blue. I REFUSE.

      Maybe the blueness has to do with the color of the text printed on the bag?

      I don’t know but it really didn’t even occur to me that it was black until just this very moment. My world has been changed.

    • Haha, I had meant for that comment about the identity project to be a comment on the article. I was wondering where it went!

  3. Still my favorite part of Autostraddle +! Thank you for all the wonderful things.

    (As an aside, I really enjoyed reading the progression of groundswell re: the missing comment thread link on the homepage. The people spoke, you listened and responded, then the people rejoiced. All told through the individual Q & As accumulated over time. All the intrigue and suspense of an Oscar nominated drama, I tell ya!)

    (Seriously, thanks for bringing back the comment link on the homepage. My life felt so out of loop without it. Yall are the best.)

    • my guess is you just use your fave cornbread recipe and put that business right in a waffle maker and bam you have a cornbread waffle. in my experience, all you need is batter, a waffle iron, and a dream to live your best life. oh and lots of non-stick spray. you need that too.

  5. Today I am missing camp and all of my second family a lot. September seems like the perfect month I miss everyone a little more. IDK WHY. SO MANY FEELINGS. Did I ever tell you guys that I tell everyone you are all my second family? My chosen family. You guys have saved my queer sanity. And I hope that Autostraddle will live forever.

    Not sure if this was something I submitted because I totally do this all the time too!! I totes tell everyone you guys are my second family. Especially everyone I’ve been able to connect with at Camp and before and after Camp. You guys are my second family. <333333 If anyone else will say they submitted this I just want to say we are living parallel lives. Fistbump.

  6. Also I just wanna salute all the people who pointed out the number of comments and stuff. I was worried that wasn’t coming back and I wasn’t sure if I got to say anything or if it was some sort of bug but I was like WHERE IS THE NUMBER THOUGH. #FEELINGS

  7. Maybe start a Boca Raton club for Orlando Pride supporters. That sounds like a way to find any gay ladies in the area. Even if you aren’t a soccer or sports person.

    I mean… look at who will be playing for them!

  8. “Can you guys tell how often I go back and look at my own activity feed to see if someone paid attention to me? Are you guys watching me and judging me? ARE YOU (i am)
    Rachel says: We would never, on both counts.”

    This wasn’t me, but it totally could have been me, and Rachel’s answer is very reassuring.

  9. I AM A QUEER GIRL IN MIAMI! I TOO AM 24!(Well: I am 24 Right now in the year 2015. I will get older soon… and this will still be here because the internet lives forever.. and… anyways. YES THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH QUEER AUTOSTRADDLE LOVING PEOPLE IN SOUTH FLORIDA AND IT MAKES ME CRY AND I WANT TO MEET ALL OF THEM AND HOW DO I MEET THEM?)

    • Hello!! I am also queer and in Miami but older than 24 and I want to meet all of you and maybe have a cup of tea or something??

      • I am the maybe moving back to FL woman!
        If I do I will definitely take this advice and try to organize!!

  11. I just want to say that I am honestly blown away with how much gets done on this website. How you manage to release so many high-quality articles daily, sift through 500+ (!!!!) applications, AND answer all these queer people is beyond me (plus you do at least 3,389 other things). I’m convinced that you’re all super-humans who don’t sleep. Also, this column reminds me of that “If Gooogle was a Guy” video but for queer peeps and without snark. THANK YOU!!!!

  12. For the RSS person: I’ve been going to the Autostraddle web site and exporting to Instapaper. Instapaper is the best for easy reading with reasonable margins.

  13. AAAAA yay I was the one asking for positive trans articles for my girlfriend! This is awesome, thank you so much!

  14. *Ahem* You get 100 40lb boxes of chicken at Costco. You should probably leave them there, that’d be like 2 grand to take home. They probs can’t stop you from taking all of them out of the freezer and putting them back in, though.

  16. HI I’M CONFUSED HAIR GIRL so please direct any hair suggestions my way, thank you! Also thanks for answering my question, AS Staff! <3

    • I am also a person with short hair who hates doing anything with it, mostly because that requires time and I don’t want to get up 20 minutes earlier. I use the FX her wax that was featured in a recent article, because I can put it in wet and restyle it throughout the day as needed. Going to work? Neatly brushed. Going out with friends? A little more messy, like I’ve been running my hands through it all day.
      Also, I use a kids 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner. I don’t know if you wanted to know that or not.

      • Thanks for the info! I will check out the wax. I use a medicated shampoo because I have horrible dandruff/scalp problems.

  17. Is Mr. Fitz the guy that starts hitting on the girl around the five-minute mark in the Pilot of Pretty Little Liars?

    I wanted to watch that show so bad, and then I saw that it was on Netflix so I started it up one day, and that five minute mark is where I stopped because trigger.

    But like, does he become an ACTUAL character? Is that where all the t-shirts you’re talking about are coming from? That somehow makes it even worse.

  19. To the hat person: I have been wanting the same hats (or toques as we call them up here) for years, so finally I decided to just knit one myself! I have actually already knit 3 from a very easy pattern on ravelry (a site with free patterns for knitting and crocheting) called classic knit hat. I have only slightly above absolute beginner skills and I was able to knit these fairly easily. Sorry I don’t have store bought suggestions, but if you are at all crafty or inclined to try to be, I highly recommend this. http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/classic-knit-hat

    • Knitting in the round is so relaxing, too! Also knitting cables in the round is super easy and looks really fun–you’ve definitely got enouh hats under your belt to try if you haven’t already! ahhh so fun!

  20. Just in case anyone was wondering: I SURVIVED THE DRUG CANDY. It did, eventually, wear off. Thank goodness.

  21. Re being stuck in a country that hates me: I can’t even seem to get freelance work waaah (but I am trying). Also my friends live a few hours away from me at the closest, though I am pretty close to Singapore (yo Fikri and company). Almost all the LGBTQ activism happens in those “few hours away from me” but I try to do what I can online.

    Perfume: Try Pinrose! Their quiz is spot-on and their bag of samples are tons of fun to explore.

    Planner Porn: Short answer – yes. To all of the above. I did just order a Kickstarter-based planner by the guy who does Steal Like An Artist because it’s a little silly in parts (the KS juuuuuuust ended otherwise I’d link it!) and that’s my jam. I also made a Pinterest board for Alt Planners for Alt People :)

    there was something else and now I can’t remember :P

  22. For the short-hair person, finding a decent pomade can make your hair pretty easy to deal with in the morning. When I still had a pixie cut, I used Cibu Sticky Rice because it wasn’t shiny and smelled good… But there are lots of great products out there!

  24. You guys, I’m so excited that it looks like A Camp is going to be late May/early June. Like, so excited that I was just bouncing around on my couch – but not in a creepy Tom Cruise way. This makes me very happy because just the other day they had a crazy good flight deal from Melbourne to LA for around that time, and after several hours of freaking out whether I should just book and hope that the dates worked, I did indeed book a flight. Now I just have to hope that all of the details fall into place and I get to go.

    In other news, bouncing on the couch isn’t the greatest idea when your couch is crappy. Pretty sure I’m going to be feeling those bruises for the next week. Oh well…but Camp!

  25. Thank you for the sizing advice! It’s so sweet of you all to answer all these questions when you have so many other things to do.

  26. About whether comments on A+ content should appear in the sidebar: I just joined A+ for the first time when Cobalt was introduced and one thing that made me do it was having consistently seen many comments in the sidebar saying “WOW THIS ARTICLE WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERFECT THING I’VE EVER READ” on content I couldn’t access. Only the beginning of the comments show up publicly too, just like for A+ content itself! Anyway, even if you do decide to change it (and I see why you might), maybe there is a way to harness that feeling for A+ recruitment another way.

  27. i would definitely read a retrospective on riese / laneia / rachel or others! there has been so much great stuff over the years that it definitely should be in like, a book or other tangible place and at the very least a compilation article. maybe for a very special occasion or significant milestone event. especially if you guys talked about the process of writing or why you liked it or what it was like to work on the piece or the ideas behind it…just all the process stuff i think is very interesting to reflect on.

    consider this a thumbs up to that idea.

  28. When I submitted the Perry/Betty idea it was the very beginning of season 2 before there were any clues she was possessed!!!!!! So no I wouldn’t do that to Betty now!!! But perry without the dean would be very cute with Betty! Just wanted to clarify that.

  31. I’m so proud to be a part of this community. I really appreciate the hard work and tireless hours you all put in to keep the Autostraddle community running. In fact, I’m going to upgrade to Silver because I believe in what you do. And thank you for mentioning my request about Mey asking for an interview with Rebecca Sugar!

  32. I am so excited about A-Camp! My wife a few weeks ago said she wanted to save up some money so I could go. Usually I’m cheap and try to keep money in the bank so we have enough for things like her srs surgery (which we did) or ivf (which we almost do), but oh my goodness am I excited!

  33. So much good stuff here!
    Several thoughts.
    1- Re. the baby gay and beanies: “I feel like everyone else got a welcome kit to queerness that came with one of those and I never got mine, please help” YES I want a welcome kit too! But I can relate to the love of hats. Actually I’ve always been a hat person for as long as I can remember. And a button-up plaid-printed shirt person. And a vest person. All these things were as a kid before I even had any had any concept of queerness. Maybe it’s in our genes? My philosophy is to wear what’s comfy and warm, which means lots of fleece and flannel and hats.
    2- I love all the STEM coverage too!
    3- You guys, this is such an awesome community. Thank you again to the autostraddle team. I really want to meet everyone. Crossing my fingers for A-camp next year. <3

  36. Oh, I was the sticker person. I don’t need one! I was just confused by the whole thing.

    I am obsessed with planners, because I refuse to give up pen & paper organizing. I usually do a little red Moleskine, but the Slingshot one is pretty great. I might go back to that this year; now that I work for The Man I gotta radical up my environs.

  38. Riese: You don’t need G-d’s help because you are already a prophet.

    It feels important to note that I just wrote this in the front of the study Bible I use for class BECAUSE IT IS THE FUCKING TRUTH x1000000

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