Questions from the A+ Inbox were taking up such an enormous portion of the A+ Insider that we’ve decided to dedicate an entire post to answering them every month instead! We think this will be a lot of fun for everybody in the whole family. We have included as many as we can. We love you, your hair looks fantastic today!

BUSINESS AND TECHNICAL CONCERNS

Hi, I want to buy a gal pal shirt and I was wondering how the merch discount for A+ members works. Is there a discount code somewhere that I’ve missed, or is the discount not offered all the time? Thanks in advance! I’m already glad I decided to subscribe. Ivy
Riese: Hello Ivy! Your name is cool. I wish my name was Ivy. Anyhow! There aren’t discounts all the time, just sometimes. Look out for them hiding in A+ Insiders, sidebars, your e-mail boxes and other mysterious places!

How many A+ members do you have now? What % are each level? Are there any plans to create a level between silver and gold?
Riese: We have 1,636 A+ members as of this morning! 10% gold, 12% cobalt, 36% bronze and 41.4% silver.

We have no plans to create a level between silver and gold, but if we did what would we call it? Could we call It Silver and a Bag Of Chips level? Would it have different incentives or just be another way to give us money?

How are things going with the new Cobalt system?
Riese: SO WELL! We’ve had so many new people sign up and I fell asleep within an hour of lying my head on my pillow at least six times since we launched it. I’m so excited about it, I feel like now people are starting to “get it.” We also got a lot of upgrades, which was thrilling!

Dear A+ Priority Contact Box, Even though I know the vapid fluff tote bag is black, I still see it as a really dark blue. Please can you garner opinion on whether this is just me having weirdo eyes, or whether other people may think the same, in some sort of queer accessory equivalent of the blue and black dress. Love, Sally
Yvonne says: Sally, I believe it is black.

Hey I want to donate ten Cobalt A+ memberships to random people how do I do that?
Riese: There’s no way to do that, I’m sorry! Honestly your best bet would be just to offer it on a  thread about A+ next time we have one and let people who want one message you.

when is camp 2016? plzzzz tryna plan bachelorette things around it.
Riese: It’s in the neighborhood of May 29th – June 3rd.

hi is there any way you can convince my internet hero mallory ortberg to come to a camp?
Rachel: I don’t know! It would be neat if we could! I would volunteer to carry her luggage down that rocky hill situation where the buses and cars park.

So, did a lot of people cancel their Bronze memberships in order to switch to Cobalt?
Riese: Nope. Only two that I know of. Y’all are really amazing, so.

Will the STRADDLE THIS underwear ever come back? What about the red ones?
Riese: Maybe!

Hi! I don’t know how to edit my profile to add a photo or change my name… Help? JK JK IT WAS BELOW THE FOLD ON THE PAGE. so nevermind, i’ve got this :P
Rachel says: YEAH YOU DO

THE NEW SCISSORING BOXERS ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachel says: YEAH THEY ARE

the store looks soooo goooood
Heather says: Everything in that store would look so good on YOU!

The new shop looks epic! Also love the Autostraddle models. Riese, is that your ute? Or is some random person’s ute now Autostraddle (manualstraddle?) famous?
Riese says: That is my fiancé Abby’s Ford Ranger! It’s very famous.

Can you guys tell how often I go back and look at my own activity feed to see if someone paid attention to me? Are you guys watching me and judging me? ARE YOU (i am)
Rachel says: We would never, on both counts.

Hi! Are you still sending sticker to A+ members even if they live far far away (Europe)? I subscribed in August and I’m checking my mailbox everyday since then, should I stop? Either way, it’s fine. I’m really happy with my subscription, you’re sooo great! I hope the Gal Pal interviews will stick around because I will need to talk to you about it when I find the Riese to my Laneia. Have a nice day :)
Riese: Firstly, the “when I find the Riese to my Laneia” is the cutest idea anybody has ever had. Secondly, yes, we do send A+ stickers to Europe and they usually go out within a week or so of when you signed up. However, a lot of them get sent back to us — you can email abby [at] autostraddle [dot] com to find out more information on your particular sticker.

Will Kristin and Dannielle be at the next A-Camp???
Riese: We haven’t started figuring out talent for next year’s A-Camp yet but I sure hope so! They had a really nice time.

Are the comment tabbies at the bottom of the posts gone for good? I’m sure y’all have a good reason but I am sad about it, they were so helpful. Also can’t wait to order my space haaaaat also my dog just farted herself awake and it was glorious.
Heather says: Hey, guess what? They’re back! Thanks for letting us know what you like about our site so we can do more of that and make your life happier and more fulfilled!

Turn off Ad Block Pro for Autostraddle dot com and intermittently click on ads so the team gets paid ya’ll !
Heather says: Correct, yes! This is the correct answer!

wait can we no longer click right to comments from the front page? Is this intentional? I love you guys but if this is intentional I’m gonna be that whiny person who says: I’m kinda not super into it.
Heather says: We have heard your cry and answered it! You can now get to our (uncommonly awesome) comments in just one click from the home page (again!).

Also I posted a long ass FOT comment today finally, and it hasn’t shown up? It’s been like an hour? Am I going insane? Do I have to retype the whole thing? I’M SORRY I’M NEEDY AND COMPLAINY TODAY
Heather says: I have looked in the comment queue and I don’t see a comment awaiting moderation on any of our Friday Open Threads, so yes, you will have to retype it. Or! Another idea is comment on this week’s FOT instead, so we’ll be sure not to miss seeing your lovely words and cute face.

I am so fucking sick and tired of people hating on slytherins. and i miss the comment things on the homepage. one of the most important things about this website is the sense of community created in the comments, and without the comment links below every post it makes it a lot more difficult to keep up with the conversation. also it’s nice to have a link that sends you directly to the comments, my internet is really slow and it takes a lot longer to load the comments when I just click the regular headline link. that said, if it makes a big difference in the number of views and the amount of money y’all can bring in, obviously i think you should keep it the way it is now. But if it doesn’t really make much of a difference, it would be great to have them back. This is not a complaint! I love y’all. I just feel very disconnected from like my entire life right now and this is just another thing that is adding on and making me feel more disconnected (obvi this is not your fault but it is a thing that is happening). also i’m kinda drunk and I almost kissed a married person today, so it’s been a weird one. also FUCK donald trump for real.
Heather says: Goodness, lamb, you had quite a day! Well, the good news is we have returned the comments to the home page at to the request of many people, so that’s one less thing to worry about. Also, fuck Donald Trump, yes. We agree with you there too. Here’s the thing about people hating on Slytherins, I think: It’s easy. Slytherins are an easy target, and especially because we experienced all of Harry Potter through the eyes of Harry himself, who was a teenage boy and a Gryffindor, both of which things add up to a perspective that isn’t particularly nuanced. Rowling painted Slytherins (and Gryffindors) with a pretty broad brush. The other thing is that the people who hate on Slytherin the most are the people who are scared of the parts of themselves that are Slytherin-y: their ambition, their self-preservation instinct, their unwillingness to apologize for going after what they want. That’s an especially true thing in communities with lots of women because the patriarchy conditions us to hate those things about ourself. So I think what you do is be the Slytherin you want to see in the world and work to change people’s closed minds. I cast Expecto Patronum for you! My Patronus is a beagle.

I got my order from the new store hooray! Slightly confusing because the invoice said it should have a You Do You sticker. Which I didn’t order. And which wasn’t in the package. I obviously don’t need one since I didn’t order it, but fyi in case it’s a pattern or whatever.
Riese: Hm, that is bizarre — can you forward your e-mail to alex [at] autostraddle [dot] com?

Hey yall, just popping in to voice that I miss being able to see the comment count for articles on the homepage. I used it to see if articles I was casually following the comment thread on had new comments to check out or not. Now I have to click through each article individually- which is maybe good for your reader count? But a drag for me, personally. Anyway, I’m sorry to bother! You are all really awesome! Just wanted to give some brief feedback.
Heather says: Thank you for your feedback, caramel apple! We’ve made the switch back!

maaaaaaybe the A+ comments on first person essays shouldn’t pop up in the sidebar?
Riese: I asked Cee about this and she said, “i agree — it’s not easy to do though. It’s on my master list of bugs/things to improve. I dont’ want any A+ comments on the sidebar for non logged in folks.”

Hi AS! I just wanted to let you know I miss having the comment counts on articles on the front page. Sometimes that is what draws me in! Love you guys and the site looks great.
Heather says: Well, thank you. We love you and your hair looks great! Also, as you’ve probably noticed, the comments have returned to the home page.

You need an easier link to merch — ideally above the fold! Not only for you guys but it’s not so easy to find the link for those who NEED more autostraddle things.
Riese: [UPDATE: We do now!] I know! It’s on Alex & Cee’s Fun List of Fun Things To Do Whenever They Have Time To Do Something Fun. We also need a “support us” button front-and-center (with a drop-down to merchandise, Join A+, donate and the affiliate marketplace), and need our social media buttons to be easier to find on the homepage or for mobile and WE NEED SO MANY THINGS

OMG the comment numbers are showing again??? I am so happy! I know it sounds weird but when they were off I felt really disengaged because like half the time I love reading the comments as much as the articles and sometimes there are super interesting discussions in the comments and I’d always check in during the day to see what was happening and then the comments were gone and I felt lost and stopped checking in and it felt weird and I’m sure you had your reasons BUT I AM SO HAPPY THEY ARE BACK!!!!!!
Heather says: We are happy that you are happy!

Is there any more guidance you can provide on merch sizing? I want to buy the scissoring boxer briefs but can’t figure out what the best size is. I’m slightly shorter than Alex but also I think not as thin (5’3.75″ and 130? 135? pounds? I haven’t been weighed in like six years, oops). I have a pair of “straddle this” boxer briefs in a Large, which fits enough that I still happily wear it but which is definitely larger than ideal. Sorry this is a really self-involved question. Could there maybe be a forum or comments section on the merch site where people can discuss sizing, like ModCloth has?
Riese: It sounds like you are maybe similar in size to my activity partner who wears a small in the boxer-briefs, but she likes them to be really tight underneath her pants and is fairly slim-hipped. She says “small or medium” would be good. We don’t have the capability to do what Modcloth does, but we have added an Image Gallery to the store site, and we would really encourage anybody who’s comfortable doing so to put their height / size / weight in the caption of their instragram or tumblr post tagged with #autostraddlemerch to be included there.

I like to read autostraddle via my RSS reader. Do you still get page hits from that? my RSS reader sends me direct to the site to read full articles, so I assume so?
Heather says: Yes, we sure do. When you click through, we get the page view. Do you have to keep your RSS reader clean and tidy? My girlfriend can’t even sleep if she doesn’t get her unread count down to zero before she goes to bed.  Hey, and thanks for checking about this!

I really want to buy a queer calendar for my small office next year, are you guys gonna release one? I seem to remember this was thing. If not, you have any suggestions of queer organizations who make calendars that I could support?? I’ve had one in the past gifted to me and I LOVVVEEDD IT! Thanks! You look very nice today!
Riese: It was a thing, it was! But it became too expensive and time-consuming to keep doing it. If @bklynboihood does another calendar this year, I would definitely pick one up. I’ve also been lusting after this Butch-Ups calendar from Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher.

Today I am missing camp and all of my second family a lot. September seems like the perfect month I miss everyone a little more. IDK WHY. SO MANY FEELINGS. Did I ever tell you guys that I tell everyone you are all my second family? My chosen family. You guys have saved my queer sanity. And I hope that Autostraddle will live forever.

ALL-CONSUMING NEEDS TO SHARE

I’ve been recommending this show to everyone. Episode 2 (Parents) gave me a lot of feelings. Resonated so much because I’ve been trying to show more appreciation and thanks to my mom, who immigrated to this country all by herself to give her kids and herself better lives.
Rachel: Is this about Master of None? I really liked that episode also! I wanna hang out with Aziz Ansari’s parents.

My life just reached level 10 gay: I’m at home, watching Buffy with my cat, alone. My ex-hookup-lady-friend calls me and asks if I can help her and her girlfriend move a large piece of furniture into their NEW HOME!!! I said yes, cause I like to see how far I can push my heart. 2 screw drivers, 6 workgloves, and 1 scratch on the floor later, we have succeeded. I am now at home, alone, drinking from the wine bottle I was given as a thank you for moving the furniture, and watching Buffy with my cat.
Yvonne says: Wow, that was really gay. But you probably shouldn’t do that to yourself, love. Next time, I think it’s ok to say no if you wanted to and just stayed home with your cat watching Buffy.

Got a Cobalt membership (thanks for the affordable rates!); productivity at work has plummeted.
Riese: Congratulations on living your best life, my friend.

Omg you guys. I just met the cutest gender studies major. I can’t even.
Riese: WHAT KIND OF PEN DOES SHE USE

So I never really buy magazines for my flights, but today I did because a special edition of The New Yorker Reader caught my eye–it’s a collection of longform essays on True Crime, from a wide range of decades and authors (Joan Didion!) and I wanted to make sure Riese knew about it because it fits in with a lot of what she’s linked from TIRTIL and so Riese, if you’re out there, you should look for it because I think you’d enjoy it!
Riese: Oh yes I am aware of this blessing upon our collective souls. Jasika Nicole has it and so does Carly Usdin and before long you know, I think I can have it too!

I got the first issue of the Autostraddle Weekly this week. What a fantastic idea! Loved it!
Yvonne says: YAY! I’m so glad you like it! I’ll be writing it next week so stay tuned! And for those of you who want to sign up, you can do it here.

I just ordered a Gal Pal crew neck from the shiny new store. I’ve been wanting to get one for awhile and I finally did! I’m so excited! Also, I got the shiny surprise newsletter in my e-mail today. I had a crappy day and this new teaching job is really hard/stressful. Thanks for making my day brighter!
Riese: Thank YOU for ordering a gal pal shirt!

I got the new email newsletter in my inbox today and I LOVED IT! Loved it! Loved it! Just when I think that there is no way for this community to become more awesome, you all raise the bar. This is just a little note to tell you that I appreciate all of the hard work that you do. You make so proud to spend my little bit of pennies here! I promise that when I have more pennies, I will spend more pennies. You make the world feel a little more like home.
Rachel: Thank you so much! We really appreciate your pennies and you opening our newsletter and appreciating it. We’re very proud of it, it’s like a tiny fawn that we raised from birth and is now graduating from high school and moving on to the university of its choice to study ecological justice.

klub deer 5EVER
Rachel says: See you there!

Riese, the piece you wrote about your long drive home with Abby did something to my heart that I can’t quite explain except to say I don’t think it’s going to be the same now. Thank you for sharing. Thank you. Witnessing or even glimpsing two people I care about loving and being in love with the adventure of loving each other is a shot of pure light to my surprisingly shadowy (black)heart. I love love. And I love you. And I love that you both love Michigan, or that you’re remembering how ❤
Riese: Isn’t it so magical how all our (black)hearts can be connected across the whole wide world!

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH Whenever I have a shitty day all i have to do is come onto here and read comments and laugh and have feelings and I always feel so much better. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’ll never know what my little queer life would be like if my friend hadn’t introduced me to your site.
Rachel says: I’m glad you never had to find out what your life would be like without this! When I have a shitty day sometimes I reread nice Autostraddle reader comments, so this has really come FULL CIRCLE.

I just rewatched the three A+ lip sync videos from last year. They are sooo good! I hadn’t watched them since you put them up! I am sure they were soooo much work but it produced some really awesome fantastic videos! I love them and I love you
Riese: They were so much work but also so much fun! We’re still trying to figure out a good song for the holigays this year, what do you think? It needs to be like a pop or hip-hop rendition of a holiday song sung by a lady that would highlight Kayla Wilson’s lip sync queendom in its most flattering and crush-worthy light.

I was at the student union at Ohio State and saw that picture of Laura on display with others from the identity project. I kept looking at it, trying to figure out how I recognized her. It was Autostraddle! Of course it was Autostraddle.
Riese: Did you know that Intern Grace used to work at the Ohio State student union? And that my Dad went there for undergrad? I’m just saying, “of course it was Autostraddle.” (Also for everybody else who wants to see Laura Mandanas in the photo project, I talk about it here.)

Maybe I want to grow my hair out. How do I tell my girlfriend? Also, do I want to lose weight or do I not want to lose weight? I can’t decide and I am very much into cake right now.
Riese: This is how my girlfriend told me she wanted to grow her hair out: “I want to grow my hair out.” It worked pretty well. I don’t know if you want to lose weight right now though. I don’t even know about the cake. I think you should do whatever makes you feel happy and healthy. We got my Mom this enormous cake from Costco and it pretty much ruled our lives all weekend, it was pretty delicious.

so i thought i could not stand the kardashians but then they had a troop beverly hills themed baby shower and its like…maybe i love them? am i that easily taken? what is wrong with me? i need y’all to let me know if i should throw myself in an ocean k thanksss
Rachel: If you throw yourself into the ocean how are you gonna have a troop beverly hills baby shower of your very own

hello from the outsiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide (of sobriety. I am drunk and listening to adele. is what I am saying)
Yvonne says: Adele approves.

The gayest thing I did this week was use my black babeland gloves to knead a dough that was too sticky for my hands. God help me.
Riese: You don’t need G-d’s help because you are already a prophet.

If there is a God, and I ever meet said being, the first question I’m going to ask is “what kind of sick joke is it to make dogs’ lives so much shorter than ours?”
Heather says: You and me both, friend. You and me both.

Maybe I should keep a tally of the straight men who want to tell me what it means to be a lesbian and whether or not I am one using the terms “logical discussion,” “for the sake of debate,” or “just playing devil’s advocate”…?
Heather says: I am finding it increasingly difficult to be in in-person situations where the best way to respond to a jerk would be with a GIF but I can’t on account of the jerk is standing in front of my face. I wish you could get GIFs printed on business cards like the moving pictures in Harry Potter. My girlfriend has a folder on Google Drive called “misandry” and I would print all of those out and give you half of them and then you could shove them in the faces of these straight men.

Hi lovely humans, I just wanted to say how much I adored the Gal Pal series. I especially loved reading about how the different pairs of gal pals met each other and became friends because, as a person who’s not in school this September for the first time in 21 years, I am somewhat concerned about meeting friends (and more-than-friends, I suppose) in the Real World. However, the gal pal series assuaged these worries to an extent because I was able to read about the random situations people found themselves in that led to beautiful friendships. It’s inspired me to keep putting myself out in the world and being open to connecting with new people, because there’s no telling how important these people may become to me. So, basically, keep up the good work y’all!
Heather says: Thank you for taking the time to tell us what you like! It helps us to make more stuff that you like! We were especially proud of our Gal Pal series. Honestly, we’ll probably do it again one of these days, in an even bigger and better way. (But also still intimately.)

Why does the cooch-juice catcher liner on panties not start further forward?? Why???
Riese: Oh my goodness you just said “cooch-jucie” HOW DO I GO ON

can we talk about Homo naledi pleaaaaase, everyone I try to talk to just wants to make “no homo” jokes
Heather says: “Paleoanthropologist” is a hard word to spell. (I also cannot ever spell “rhythm” without looking it up, or “Pieszecki.”) So, yeah, Homo naledi. New species or actually Homo erectus? Good idea to publish your findings after two years, or should Berger have waited the standard decade and a half? So many questions! But to answer your main one: Yes, homo.

i had sex for the first time last night. with a woman, no less. So, naturally, I had to share with you all. OH MY GOD. that is all (and everything).
Heather says: You sure did! I hope it was everything you wanted it to be!

So I’m back in my “home” country after 10 years of being abroad (because visas + jobhunting are such bullshit) and urgh, I know I wrote that entire essay about “learning to love home again” but things haven’t really gotten any better! I’m still stuck at home with nothing to do, the Government here releases some sort of statement about how LGBTQ rights will never be a thing because Islam every two weeks or something, it’s hard for me to get a job because people announce racial preferences openly in job ads and it’s never mine, blah! I want to get out of here so bad but every attempt fails or gets me back here like a boomerang. I should be on a plane to New York for a 3 month workshop now and I couldn’t get enough money. I’m sad and lonely you guys I don’t know what to do :(
Yvonne says: I’m really sorry! :( This sounds like a horrible situation. This might be coming from my Western perspective, but here it goes: Can you find solace in any queer friends or just a really trustworthy friend/family member in your area? Is that a safe thing to do in your country? I think it would ease the burden of your circumstances if you had at least one person to talk to openly in person with. If not, internet friends could be your best choice to confide your feelings in for the time being. As for jobs, maybe you can you do freelance work outside of your country? Maybe you can get involved with activist groups in your area to combat the oppressions that are keeping you down? It might be satisfying work to do! These are probably just short term fixes, but I hope things get better for you, reader! I’m sending you positive vibes.

every time my GF does something that upsets me she convinces herself I am in a bad mood because of other things and no matter how I try to explain why I’m upset she just keep saying “You don’t have to be so disagreeable” and I want to scream.
Rachel says: Wow that is the worst! I’m sorry. I would be really tempted to be like “Yes I DO have to be so disagreeable because you are being THE WORST.” I think screaming is a valid option. I think the next time this happens you should ask her “Under what conditions would you actually believe that I’m upset about the thing I said I was upset about? Are there any?” and see how she takes it.

WOW. I am staying in a hostel in Greece with someone who looks a LOT like Laneia. It is very exciting for me. Ok tnx.
Laneia says: I really hope my doppelgänger was more personable and outgoing than I would’ve been! I hope you both enjoyed Greece! I hope so many things for so many people!

I just learned that otters sometimes rape baby seals to death, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m hormonal or what but I am for real seriously distraught about this and I feel like there is nobody I can share this with who won’t laugh at my feels. I know nature is brutal etc. but like is nothing sacred??? Cute smart playful little fucking OTTERS???
Heather says: Oh, no. No. No! Is that for real?! I hate that information!

I know people of AS enjoy both Bomb Girls and Carmilla so I wanted to share the wonderful pairing I thought of recently. Just imagine! Perry and Betty in a romance together! I ship them so hard! I think their ship name should be Berry. Imagine Perry finding a time traveling wormhole and ending up in ww2 canada with Betty. Betty taking care of Perry while she adjusts and helping her in her new job at the factory. Falling in love
Heather says: Wait, wait, wait. You want season two Perry to move in with Betty?! WHY DO YOU HATE BETTY? I will talk to you about this after season three airs, okay. I will talk to you about this when Perry is not literally possessed.

I ought to tell you that I went to a writing course last weekend. It was fun.
Rachel says: I’m really glad you told us this! I feel very positive and serene about this development. What did you write about? Are you gonna go to another one?

Whenever I start to panic about my recent development of romantic feelings for a boy (???), I remember that really fucking cool bisexual women like Rachel and Mallory Ortberg exist and then I feel better. Is that weird to say? I’m saying it anyway.
Rachel says: Well this is just the best thing that’s happened to me all day. I’m glad you exist too! I hope your crush is fun! I don’t think anyone has ever put me in the same sentence as Mallory before me and it’s rad!

you guys I need a nap but I’m at work :(
Heather says: If you’ve got a hundred dollars lying around, I have a really good idea for you.

Do you ever feel like you where born in the wrong decade? Like I was born in the 90s but I feel like I should have been born in the 70s, in the way that I wish I could have experienced grl riot while it was happening and that 70% of the music I listen to is late 80s early 90s punk and ska.
Yvonne says: Sometimes I do. It’d be cool to live in a time when the internet wasn’t a thing. I mostly think about how grateful I wasn’t born in a different decade. For example, when I’m on my period, I think “How the fuck did my ancestors menstruate out in the scorching sun, doing physical labor and caring for their families?! How did my mom and aunts do this when they only had an outhouse growing up? How the fuck did Manifest Destiny happen with all those pioneer women crossing mountains and prairies on their periods? They had to squat and probably got blood all over the place and there probably wasn’t any streams or creeks nearby to wash themselves or had to save water for drinking.” That’s why I’m like thank god I live in this decade, reader.

あつめねこ (atsume neko, cats gathered) If you love cats and Japan, you’ve probably already heard of this game. The premise is simple yet effective. Watch cats, get treasure. The UI is easy to understand.
Rachel says: What if I told you that Laneia and I both have this game and both have cats named after each other. What then.

Jennifer Kent, writer/director of the Babadook, is attached to write and direct an adaptation of Alice + Freda Forever!
Rachel says: Oh man! I LOVED The Babadook, this is great news, thank you for sharing!

Look at this super neat student-made video some kids at the college I work at (sort of the gayest school ever I sometimes think) made (it’s funny): 
Heather says: I laughed. “Page 217 of my autobiography? It’s about how I showered and chose a college that actually respected my intelligence.”

I just want you to know that I make all my interns read a couple articles (of their choice) from Autostraddle so they can know more things about queer lady-ish people. Recently one of them, months after her internship, referenced an article that had just been posted. So just know, every once a while, a cute little straight (for now!) college student is reading the articles and learning things and liking it.
Rachel says: This is so neat! Changing the world one tiny college student at a time! Making the college student you want to see in the world! You are the hero we need.

I just convinced my professor-assigned group (for a class on Cultural Heritage Preservation) to do our final project on Stonewall! And I will 100% be citing Autostraddle. A preemptive thanks for making my last graduate school class queerer!
Heather says: It is absolutely our pleasure.

Demi Lovato covering Hozier is way gayer than that weird summer song she did. 
Heather says: Sounds like you want Demi to take you to church, if you know what I mean and I think you do. (Amen?)

I just got a promotion and a raise! I’m hoping to be very careful and stringent about budgeting in the next few months to hopefully be able to go to A-Camp next year. I feel like it’s a place I need to go back to.
Heather says: We support this plan fully! A-Camp is a place you always need to go back to, like Narnia or Hogwarts.

I loved loved loved Rachel’s article about support queer students in schools. I work in a school with some pretty homophobic administrators (although thankfully not my administrators) and I feel like so many of my decisions come down to “Will this statement or action support the student in the short term but make it harder for me to support them in the long term?” or “Is this immediate need important enough to risk longer term consequences in my ability and career at this school?” I dunno, I don’t know if I’m making a lot of sense. I’m partially out, and I’ve answered honestly for the most part when students ask me questions about “my man,” but it is hard to figure out what actions create the most positive change. I don’t want to say anything bad about my school or district online so I didn’t comment, but I still wanted a chance to get it all of my chest. Thanks for writing such amazing pieces, and for letting me let it all out. P.S. I love my union, and I am lucky to know my career is not directly on the line due to my orientation, which is amazing. I am so so blessed to be part of large, LGBT friendly union.
Rachel says: Oh I’m so glad! I know how stressful and draining it can be, and how often it feels like you’re not making enough of a difference even when you’re trying as hard as you possibly can. I bet you’re doing an amazing job and making more of an impact on your kids than you know.

Fucking damn it I am heartbroken. I just came back from dinner at my aunt and uncle’s house and my sweet, insecure 14 year-old cousin who just started high school and is struggling to find her place was wearing a shirt that said “I love mr fitz.” And I sat there and I ate my burger and I said nothing. I said nothing even though when I was in 6th grade my favorite teacher was fired (but not prosecuted!) for having “consensual” sex with a 7th grader. A “mature” biracial 8th grader who “was always in his classroom flirting” and who “seemed older than she was.” And when I was 16 a 35 year-old married swim coach at my high school was sleeping with my best friend and when I confided in my favorite teacher about it because I was concerned she cornered us in a stairwell and scolded my friend for “entering in an inappropriate relationship” and the whole school called my friend a liar, a slut, and a homewrecker. I sat there through that whole dinner and joked and chatted while my stomach churned because I remember how uncomfortable I felt when I was 17 and my school made me go to the guidance counselor for an hour every other day and I remember the way he stared at my chest and made me feel helpless when his job was to help me put myself back together. And now my cousin and how many others are being seduced by this dangerous idea that these interactions are romantic rather than terrifying. I am sad. and I just needed to share and if you have any advice on how to talk to my cousin and girls like her, I’ll take it, but mostly I need someone to listen. so thanks for listening.
Heather says: I struggle with this every day. Literally every day. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night sick with the knowledge that teenage girls are out there wearing “I love Mr. Fitz” shirt and ABC Family is continuing to promote it and the PLL writers — no matter how much they hate it, or claim to hate it, behind-the-scenes — are still being forced to pander to it, and I can’t go back to sleep. I just lie there and brood and feel nauseous and wonder what I can do to combat it. I’ll keep shit talking him all over the internet, I can promise you that. I’ll continue to drag him every chance I get in my recaps and on Twitter. I’ll listen any time. He’s a monster. A monster and I hate him.

you guys my grilfriend gave me drug candy and it was delicous and I have eaten too much a nd now it’s tjhe next day and I’m at work and she drove me here wcause I couldn’t and luckily it’s slow but is this gionaa last forever it miught and then I won’t get anythiong done ever and I ahlolucinated last ngiht and now I need some cofee yes

[followup:]you guys this needs to stOP because I can’t focus enough to read the cool indigneous women article but I want to read it but I cam’t I had too much drug candy

Laneia says: Lord have mercy, bless your heart.
Rachel says: I’ve been rereading this when I’m feeling down because it’s so perfect. God bless you and your girlfriend, amen.
Riese: I hope this story ended with crushed-up Vivran on the back of an impeccably organized binder and all your tabs changing colors and a big steaming latte with a little heart on the top.

I dreamt that Carmen was in Vancouver and part of this queer interpretive dance in the ~city space~ and I joined in by creating a beat on my bowl of whipped cream (it’s thxgiving, k. don’t judge) and it was just wonderful.
Carmen says: I am so glad people in Vancouver are dreaming about me because I am always dreaming of going back to Vancouver.

So, I needed to tell someone this, and my roomate has HAD IT. It turns out, lifting approx. 100 40lb boxed of frozen chicken will relieve your menstrual cramps, but while it’s doing that, it’ll expel your uterus lining so efficiently your OB will leak, which I did not even think was possible #Iwasphysicallyprepared #butnotemotionallyprepared
Rachel says: Where do you get that much frozen chicken though?

omg I think I am moving back to FL next year. and why are there no queers there? (tinder told me so) and there is only this autostraddle group for basically the ENTIRE STATE and do you know how big the state is, y’all? and will i be alone forever? and how hard will it be to build a community in Boca Raton, Florida? I mean, not quite the city, but that’s close to where I will live, but I’ll live with my grandmother in her 55+ community. Maybe there will be an amazing OWL there, but I’m 24, so that’s a bit of a gap. Anywaaay, thank you box for existing. Even if I send this and it goes into the void, just typing this up has saved me money on therapy which I’ll now spend on Autostraddle merch. Oh wait, Chelsey Petty lives in FL too! But… I think… Northern FL? That’s a different state.
Yvonne says: There has to be some queer people in Boca Raton, Florida! (Show yourselves in the comments.) I think this is where you have to be the change you want to see in the world and create your own Autostraddle group/meetup and make friends that way! You can create and submit an event here.

Guys, today has been a day. It’s the first day of my period, the shit is hitting the fan at work, and my microwave is broken so I can’t heat up my leftovers and may actually have to cook. I have no idea why I’m telling you this, I guess I just feel like you all listen, and I needed to let somebody know. Thanks AS!
Laneia says: I give you official and binding permission to order takeout and watch Netflix all night. Having a broken microwave is a burden none of us should have to endure, and I am so, so sorry for you. Takeout. Netflix. A blanket. You deserve these things.

So, I’m pretty sure that my internal doubts about whether I’m “gay enough” have all been resolved. Last night I bellied up to the bar with Justin Timberlake, and *he* was asking *my* advice on flirting with the ladies. (Disclaimer: yes, this was part of an odd but fun dream sequence.)
Heather says: … or WAS IT?

So I did two very important things today. The first was to buy a waffle maker and the second was to join A + and now my entire Saturday will be catching up on the backlog of content and finding every waffle possibility on the internet. Don’t tell the waffle maker but I think A+ will probably bring me more lifelong joy. (I hope this isn’t a misuse of this box- it just felt pressing to tell y’all that you’re the best)
Laneia says: This is a very nice and good and true thing to say about your A+ investment, and I cannot thank you enough for supporting this website and the writers and artists who give so much of themselves and their time to bring you things that will hopefully enrich your life, but I absolutely HAVE to make sure you know that you can make CORNBREAD in your waffle maker! Did you know this?? Waffled cornbread is so good and crispy all over, I could cry right now just thinking about it. Oh lord be a bowl of soup and some waffled cornbread, amen.

Went and used the fitting room near the men’s section at the mall and 2 guys come in right as I step out and they looked VERY CONFUSED for about 10 seconds. I was laughing inside and also thinking ‘ i am not going up to the second floor to try on pants then have to come back down to get a different size so deal with it’ Also the sales associate was in my side SO
Heather says: DEAL WITH IT DOT GIF HASHTAG MISANDRY

I finally finished reading that Broadly article about autostraddle and I totally cried at the end. I love you guys! Thank you for making this weird and wonderful community!!!

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