Feature image via Shutterstock.

AUTOSTRADDLE ANONYMOUS SEX TOY REVIEW:

Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys.

This week, one of our anonymous reviewers tried out the Ambrosia Vibe, sent to us by Orgasmatronic.

It was hard not to get excited about the Ambrosia Vibe when its crowdfunding campaign was announced on Indiegogo last year. Biohacking and biofeedback? Yes, please. The campaign sailed past its original ask of $32,000 and concluded in August with more than twice that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U2MSSykA-Q

Unfortunately, my enthusiasm was tempered somewhat when the first toy they sent me broke in transit, which then happened again with the replacement set. The Orgasmatronic team have been fantastic, however, and they sent me the newer, sturdier Ambrosia Vibe 2.0 to test out.

How Does It Work?

Science! That’s what it says on the box, anyway. (Actually it says Boulder Applied Physics, which I think is about as great as euphemisms get.) What’s in the box is a little more intimidating. A large bullet vibe is connected to a control box, which in turn can be connected to either of their two dildos (which come in purple/black 5″ or 7″ varieties) via a plastic “sense tube.” The vibe is primarily designed to be used with a harness — particularly the Aslan Vegan Stealth Harness — so it also comes packaged with o-rings.

The dildos have a narrow, hollow “vein” running along the underside of the shaft. When the dildo is massaged or played with, changes in air pressure in this “vein” are transmitted through the sense tube to the control box, which activates the bullet vibe tucked into the base of the dildo. There’s an approximately 2–3 second delay between action and reaction.

The Ambrosia 2.0 has significant improvements over the original design: the control box is now housed in silicone, which is more durable, hygienic and pleasant to the touch than the hard plastic casing it used to have. The harness clip is also a lot more secure, which makes the control box less likely to fall off when in use (which is exactly as annoying as it sounds).

Okay, But How Does It Work?

The Ambrosia is designed to do a great many things, in theory:

But actually getting there first requires getting used to a fairly finicky get up. It’s trickier than usual to manoeuvre the dildo into a harness because of the wires (you can tuck the vibrator wire in, but the sense tube has to be unobstructed), but I found this less annoying than funny, and I like things that make me laugh in bed. It was refreshing to play with a toy that’s so much like, well, a toy.

Blowjobs and handjobs are really, really fun. I don’t usually get a lot of pleasure out of watching someone give me head when I’m strapped on because of the patriarchy, but I do very much like the feedback I get from the Ambrosia. My activity partner, on the other hand, likes watching people service her on their knees as much as any other femme top, so it’s pretty much a win-win for her. Also, being able to bite down on a cock and watch the wearer jump in surprise? Never gets old.

On the flip side, the vibration can get a bit much for the giving party’s mouth/hand (especially with the smaller dildo) and there isn’t much variation in the vibe patterns. The bullet is very, very loud but not very strong, which can be frustrating because whoever’s massaging the shaft instinctively wants to ease back while whoever’s wearing it wants to turn it up.

We also didn’t have much luck using it for penetrative sex because we found it too hard and awkward to control, much more than it was pleasurable. Your mileage may vary, though — the Ambrosia was designed (in part) with pegging in mind, which we didn’t try, so maybe that’d do the trick for you. Annoyingly, using lube/water can clog up the sense tube. The very brief instruction manual says to rinse the tube if this happens, but because the tube is so narrow and one end of it can’t be detached from the control box, the only effective method of clearing it we found was well, sucking it — not quite what I thought I’d be doing with my mouth on this toy.

Finally, I really hope the Orgasmatronic team has more dildos in the works! Because of the “vein”/air pressure situation, the vibe can only work with their special-made dildos. The 5″ dildo was far too small for both our tastes (but see earlier re: pegging) and the 7” too tapered to be fully insertable. Unlike most strap-on dildos with wide, flared bases, the smaller dildo has a rounded one while the larger one has a blockish one with corners that are just a tad too sharp, so they got uncomfortable after a while.

The Ambrosia Vibe Bionic Strap-On 2.0 is built on a great concept but unfortunately it’s not quite there yet. I wonder if the crowdfunding campaign pushed it too quickly into mass production when it could’ve done with a few more rounds of testing and development (which I hope are still in the works!), especially for something with a $199 pricetag. To be fair, we didn’t use the Ambrosia in as many creative ways as the toy might allow for, but that’s the thing: it felt too cumbersome to try out in different positions. I’m excited about the future of the Ambrosia, but for now, this one’s going back into the box.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!