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A+ members, hello! It’s another day and another roundtable…this time we’re talking all about times when things did not go quite as smoothly as we would have liked when visiting family for the holidays. Sometimes our families are trying their best. Sometimes they’re really, really not. Either way, we are here in solidarity with you.
So, have you ever had an experience like Stef’s where a family member was clearly giving it her all, but just kind of didn’t get the full message? Have you had family members outright ignore your relationship like shea’s or Ro’s? Have you dealt with unreasonably hostile-but-it’s-a-joke-ha-ha family members like Vanessa and me? This is a space for you to safely commisserate and…I really want to say like “gird your loins” (which means this apparently) ahead of strained conversations, gatherings where you’re checking the time and moments where you really wish you were just at home with some cookies watching a silly movie.
Here at Autostraddle, we’re wishing you good things this holigay season, but even when things are less than ideal, we’ve got you, then, too. I hope you’re taking care. Sending you love.
xoxo,
Nico
My fiancé and I are going to visit their family at Christmas for the first time this year and I’m Moderately Stressed about it. I guess worst comes to worst, I’ll have a funny story for this comment section! I’ll try to remember to update.
💗💗💗I do hope things go well though!
Thank you all, this was extremely cathartic. I lost it at Matterhorn Buzzsaw.
<3 thank you for reading!!
love these stories! i haven’t brought anyone home for the holidays romantically but have been a guest in friends’ homes or brought friends homes and the entire thing is just an exercise in listing all the ways my family is weird. like oh this isn’t a tradition that’s just what grandma does or waiting all through dinner for the hunting stories to start and the shoe never drops
ok so who is playing Heather in the movie based on this story??
Oh I have SUCH a good one.
On Thanksgiving a few years ago, I was living quite literally across the country from my hometown and family with my now-ex. We had traveled a hundred miles from our place to see her conservative family for the holiday.
Mere HOURS before thanksgiving dinner, I discovered via ill-timed iMessage that she had been having an affair. I packed my things & walked OUT the front door past her very confused extended family cooking dinner, duffle bag in hand, while she persistently stage whispered at me to stay, stay, dear god stay.
Thankfully, my wonderful cousin one state over managed to squeeze me in at her thanksgiving table that night. But I wish so desperately I could have watched my ex explain to her family why I left. I actually never saw her again, managing to pack my half of the apartment and get out within 24 hours. A holiday miracle.
oh WOW that is a heck of a story. I am so glad your cousin was there for you and so sorry you had to go through that. The stage-whispering to stay is too much for me. I might perish.
My family does Oplatki too! We stopped using the wafers years ago but kept the tradition of making well-wishes for each other for new years (we decided instead to pass around cut out cookies we’d decorated to be self-portraits). It used to be my favorite holiday tradition but anymore it’s just a sad illustration of how little we know about each others’ lives. At least nobody’s wished each other anything about skin health, thanks for the perspective Nico.