It feels like, to me, personally that messages about “going back to normal” are springing up everywhere and have been for several months, even during the Omicron surge. We’re seeing in-person events resume (and maybe some of us are going to them!), mask mandates lift and a push to ‘return to work’ (whatever that means because people have been working), we’re also continuing to see the rampant ableism that has been characteristic of this pandemic come out in full force, including disregard for people who have pre-existing conditions or who cannot be vaccinated (or for whom vaccines may provide less protection) or both, along with the many folks coping with Long Covid symptoms. As the US and other countries lift mask mandates and Covid restrictions, the way that we navigate risk has become even more of a personal decision (or a personal burden) than in past months. I asked the team to share how they’re dealing. I shared how my partner and I have been coping, too. I’m holding the hope that we can use this as an opportunity to connect and to feel a little less alone, and that you’ll share your experiences and how you’re living right now in the comments. Sending you so much love!! Thank you, as always, for being a member, and for being a part of everything we’re able to do here.
xoxo,
Nicole
It’s really comforting to read all the different approaches, thank you for sharing something like this. I’ve been on-site work the whole time and have just recovered from my Jan long covid, so I was super cautious, but then just got back from Ohio (trans-atlantic flight) and had to accept seeing a no-vax relative cause with my grandparents in their 90s (both vaxed) and having last seen them Dec 2019 there just wasn’t time to wait.
Like Drew, I’ve been taking my guide from others more at risk; to quote my English Grandma, when we were considering not visiting for Christmas with Omicron, “I’m 91, so I get to make the call”
This was super personal, but so was all of this! It’s a comfort to have such a space ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing! <3
thank you for this roundtable!! TW sui***cide for the following:
I felt myself represented in both Shelli’s and Drew’s answers. So far, I go back and forth from a state of intense panic (where I avoid social contact completely) and just…utter cynicism which makes me be a little more lax (and perhaps naive). I am in Germany, and so far the new government has shown that they do not give a fuck about our lives, it’s just about getting “back to normal”. A few days ago, our health minister even suggested to let folks only quarantine on a voluntary basis, so that even covid-positive people could have been forced to go to work!! WTF!! (luckily, the reaction was so strong that he has now gone back from this, but there are no mask mandates in the supermarkets anymore). I am disabled, and so I have been more cautious during the whole pandemic, but also, I am not immuno-compromised (as far as I know. It’s scary as I have NO IDEA how my CP body would react to getting Covid…I know my lungs do not work as well as other people’s). I feel privileged in regards to my disabled friends who know for certain that they would die if they got COVID. Last month I went to a concert (I debated with myself until the last minute, because getting tested wasnt mandatory anymore, wtf). I’m still glad I went (mask on) but I just felt horrible for having to take that decision. It’s absurd because if I was in the government, this would still not be happening. The cognitive dissonance of doing things that I find objectionable, that I would not allow if given the power, is difficult to deal with. I do those things then with an intense fear of getting COVID due to doing so, but also with a sense of “I need to do this for my mental health. I don’t understand why I should cancel this event like I have canceled so many events, to no actual avail, because the government declared this pandemic to be over and literally shits on lifes like mine or my friends”. mostly, I have felt “I am going to get it anyway because the government is not doing anything to protect me, so I might as well get it at an event I had fun at, and then quarantine so I don’t harm anyone else”.then again, I know many people who CANNOT afford to decide case by case and whose lives have been horrific for two years. then again it’s not like I go to many events, in fact, that concert is the only one I have gone to in months. Before, I flew to Uruguay to visit my family (which I also debated intensely until last minute). This was family I hadn’t seen in four years due to COVID. My grandpa committed suicide last year and we have not been able to mourn with our relatives due to travel restrictions. So I felt it was important to grab this chance and go last month. I still felt bad because traveling should be restricted, obviously, and I was just terrified of getting COVID in Uruguay, far from home, in a worse healthcare system.
also: I feel like my fear of COVID has significantly lower now after my traveling, because people dont give a fuck about the restrictions in Uruguay, mostly, and everything is “normal”, so I had to adjust to the possibility of getting it because noone was wearing masks etc, and it did feel like Covid didnt exist for most of the trip, so my view on it changed significantly (which is naive and not good, obviously). I still sometimes wonder if I have it. The last few days I have had trouble breathing, and I wonder if that is due to symptom-free Covid, or just my anxiety around it. I get tested everyday, though, and so far all tests came back negative).
I’m so sorry for your loss and not being able to mourn properly. I have someone close to me who’s been in a similar position of not being able to mourn with others, and it’s so hard. <3
<3
Thank-you for the international perspective and for sharing your personal story. My brother in law died from COVID but feel my losses are insignificant compared to many others, including your own.
I truly am at loss from words (a rarity) when I hear that governments fail to fulfill their most basic of responsibilities: “assuring the welfare and safety” of their citizens.
I know it’s naive, but I just wish we all could care for those around us the way we do for our own families……
love, Christina
This article really helps me get a benchmark on what others are doing, especially from people I respect and trust. Nicole and Team, Thanks!
My partner and I are natural hermits so isolation just provided an excuse to indulge our hermitness. Give me my partner (check), a couch (green?), a book (a Casey Reco) and a bowl of popcorn (Redenbacher w/movie theater butter) between us and I am in heaven.
However, it all gets thrown to the wind when we need to venture outside for routine trips (groceries etc). I am a person with an extreme sense of empathy so if one person is wearing a mask, I will put mine on to show solidarity with the mask wearing person (people) so they don’t feel weird. However, feeling weird has never been a problem for me.
.
So I guess as long as one person is wearing a mask whenever we are out, I will put mine on, so, bottomline, I suspect “normal” will be a long, long (more longs?) way off. But, then again, there is nothing “normal” about me anyway, so I feel right at home.
Casey, I can’t imagine having a baby at home with the virus circling overhead (our son is an adult). I would be taking valiums like m&ms. You are a better person than me!!
I’m just doing my best as I’m sure you are too! 💜
For the first two years, my mantra was “If I get this, it is going to be be bad” because of my disabilities and health conditions. And then I got covid and…was fine. I’ve spent the last three months waiting for the other shoe to drop, for long covid symptoms to appear, to get reinfected, and it’s somehow more exhausting than trying to avoid an initial exposure! mask mandates are lifted, recs for further booster shots are being met with eye rolls, and everyone is talking about back to normal as though normal was actually good for anyone
personally i like things like “the people preparing your food must wear masks” and “strangers can’t cough directly on you in public” and “all our events have multiple modes of access” and think we ought to keep them!
also the covid fatigue in re: news articles and studies is scary. the only people i saw talking about sweden’s eugenicist covid response were disabled people and epidemiologists and that scares me so much.
First, thanks for expanding my vocabulary…I had to look up eugenicist…and then saw that it was derived from eugenics (I know that word) which suddenly made sense (I can be slow sometimes…..)
I totally agree with the last paragraph….I have always been comfortable with safety measures whenever it comes to potentially spreading microbes….I spent many years formulating disinfectants and sanitizers for a conumer products company and have a lot of respect for the darker side of microbes! Not to mention I am also a california certified master food preserver, so food safety is a big deal with me, I go through a lot of disinfectants and disposable gloves in my own kitchen…..
Thanks for sharing such personal and vulnerable experiences and perspectives, all. I related to so much of what many of you had to say. We have erred on the end of very cautious all along, and I too have felt this last period of “reopening” has in many ways been the hardest to navigate. It was so much more clear-cut (in terms of decisions and anxiety) when the mandate to isolate and stay home was clear for all.
My 5-year-old’s school dropped its mask mandate. She is vaccinated, but there is no vax requirement. We tried to encourage her to wear a mask still, but what kindergarten wants to keep masking when none of her 14 classmates nor any of her teachers still mask? I understand that 100% of her learning to this point has involved masks, plexi barriers, face shields, no mingling, etc, and that is awful. We had to accept that this is just a risk now.
Increasingly our local community has turned lax (rural western Massachusetts), as local businesses have felt pressure to follow the state roll-backs on mandates and vax requirements. I work at a “progressive” arts institution but still there is pressure from my job to resume in person dining events indoors (everyone vaccinated), which I’ve been opting out of or joining but not eating/remaining masked, at a time when masking is optional in my workplace, so it already feels like I have to explain my caution. But it’s hard to take a job candidate out to dinner in a public restaurant with two other colleagues and not eat, you know? (I haven’t eaten indoors at a restaurant since March 2020). It also feels like a strained work power dynamic, and that the stress is not for something I deem worth putting myself at risk.
Coinciding with permissive “back to normal” guidelines, my two-year-old and I have been hit with wave after wave of 5 or 6 different viruses in the last 6 weeks, despite my partner and I masking full-time indoors (despite no where requiring it anymore) and the two-year-old masking as much as possible at childcare. I am exhausted. And we haven’t even contracted covid yet!
Unlike so many people around us. Anecdotally, we know so many in our local community who have had covid in the past month. It’s everywhere. And even those people – including those who got very sick – seem to think it’s a one-and-done situation, and there’s no need to take precautions now.
Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m unhinged to still err on the side of caution. Especially when it’s clear there is no end in sight. It was comforting to read your responses and feel less alone both in the feelings of isolation, anger, empathy, anxiety, uncertainty, and being left behind as the world “moves on.”
Wow, if you could see me, and I am glad you can’t, I have tears running down my face.
My son is a responsible adult at this point and I don’t worry about him.
But as a parent the thought of having a 2 and 5 year old in the house (maybe more?) scares me to death just thinking about it. As probably already too much of a “helicopter” parent in normal times, I honestly don’t know how people can deal with it..but bottomline I guess the answer is you have to.
I do some volunteering at a local elementary school (masked up etc) and I feel for these children the way I did for my own. It gives me a pit in my stomach just to think of one child getting sick……
God Bless and Wish You All My Love for the Strength to Navigate through this,
Christina
So much sympathy/solidarity with you on this. My child is 5, so fortunately they’ve been able to get vaccinated for COVID, but most of their prek class is still too young. Since their school went mask optional about a month ago I think/believe they’re still masking during class, but it feels like they’ve been almost constantly sick with one thing or another–currently a double ear infection. Each time I’ve worried it was COVID & tests have come back negative, but I’m exhausted, only made worse by seeing so many people stop taking any precautions.
Maybe the worst at this point is that I felt like my husband and I were on the same page for a long time, but now there’ve been more arguments. I only just realized that when his work started back in person after Omicron he hasn’t been masking at all. He thinks that’s the reasonable/obvious choice because almost everyone there is vaxxed. Which I get. And he’s mostly been flexible when I pushed for masking after travel or when someone is getting over being sick. It’s just… we’re all tired now, I guess, and it feels like everything just keeps getting harder.
This roundtable and these comments make me feel so much less alone. My local government has all but erased access to PCR testing, and has also stopped reporting case numbers. The only data we have to go on to make decisions is a research project which tracks COVID in wastewater. It feels like I don’t have the right tools to evaluate the safety of situations, and most everybody I know is acting like everything is fine. My household are continuing to wear N95/KN95s when we leave the house, but we’ve also done things like indoor dining with a group of friends when we all rapid tested ahead of time. I tend towards really black and white morality, and I’ve been struggling since the beginning with trying to be more compassionate with decision making in this situation, especially towards myself. It’s all just so hard, and I wish political leaders were doing more.
Whew! I think this roundtable really illustrates that every single one of us are doing our best in the absence of meaningful guidance or protection from the US government, and I want to send big consensual internet hugs to EVERYONE. I appreciate the thoughtfulness of this roundtable and the opportunity to think more about where we are now, and how we can move forward. I have some thoughts, but I think it’s important to note that they are not a direct reaction to any one writer’s thoughts above.
I think that sometimes we can fall into thinking of people in our lives as either “being careful” or “going back to normal,” when in reality, every day we are faced with choices that fall somewhere on a spectrum, and have to do our best to determine what harm reduction practices are appropriate. Sometimes this false binary gets in the way when I am trying to gather information ahead of spending time with someone — I might ask a very specific harm reduction question, or ask a person to take a rapid test, and get met with a statement like “but I’m so careful,” or clear worry that I am judging a person for their behaviors. I want to make it super clear that for me and for many people who have maintained a great deal of COVID caution in their lives, when I ask for information before spending time with someone, there is absolutely no judgement — I am just looking for information that will inform what we do and how we do it.
It’s been two years now, and it’s just a fact that the level of isolation I’ve personally maintained has taken a huge toll on my mental health. I really, really wish that our government would employ practices that would allow me to feel safer when being out and about, like continuing indoor mask mandates and requiring vaccination. I am so angry that we have been failed in such concrete ways. But I am never angry at the people who make different choices than me regarding their day-to-day behaviors. (Well, ok, I am a bit angry at the people who unmask indoors. But I also understand that they were absolutely failed by our government when they were told it’s fine to do so.)
All of this is to say that there are no perfect choices in this pandemic, and when I feel most hopeful about the future, it is when I imagine us abandoning the “cautious/not cautious” binary and finding ways to connect and exist in the world that feel tenable for each of us, when are able to leave guilt behind and move into a space where frank discussions are an easier part of the harm reduction we use in order to spend time together! <3
Thanks for the very thoughtful comment. The last paragraph in particular:
“All of this is to say that there are no perfect choices in this pandemic, and when I feel most hopeful about the future, it is when I imagine us abandoning the “cautious/not cautious” binary and finding ways to connect and exist in the world that feel tenable for each of us, when are able to leave guilt behind and move into a space where frank discussions are an easier part of the harm reduction we use in order to spend time together! <3"
This is a beautiful mantra to live by, pandemic or no pandemic. <3 right back.
Struggling to make every little decision, while surrounded by so many people who think “it’s over,” has been really hard. After my partner’s death during early covid, I desperately needed in-person connection and touch, but it was still long pre-vaccine.
A year out, and with all precautions, the panic at trying to meet these needs and feel human again won’t go away. Feeling like so many other people want to ignore the past two years was so painful. There is no “back.”
Thank you for this thread. Really helped me feel less alone.
Hans, I’m so sorry for your loss.
<3 I'm so sorry for your loss, Hans. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for this, it was on my to-do list to write in my diary about how I’m feeling about my balance between risk tolerance and quality of life, and this will help. It’s really nice to read some different perspectives and get a bit of a deeper insight into the thought processes behind them. I feel like when I talk to friends about this they can feel judged even if I’m really not judging them, so it’s harder to get into the topic. So thank you all!
most of what I feel about this has already been said one way or another, but to add one new thought: I really resent the moralizing tone that surrounds getting covid. I don’t hear it here, but this seems like an okay play to rant a bit, and I’ve heard it out and about, esp. in certain “very liberal” spaces.
it’s this idea that gettin covid is shameful or always your fault. like, that is just 100% not true. for some people, yes – they were reckless. but for so so many of us, it wasn’t due to recklessness. I’m a teacher; I was around almost 100 students day in and day out, and I got Delta. I’m not a worse person, I’m not bad, and I didn’t do anything wrong – and neither do any other essential workers, or people who were super careful but just got unlucky.
you are not better than us, karen, for being able to stay in a hermetically sealed bubble with constant amazon prime deliveries and never getting covid! it is not dirty to get covid, and I hate when people I know seem embarrassed about getting it, or gawk at me about having had it.
it also definitely changed my body, though not in ways nearly as intense as others, and that’s something that just rides in the back of my mind, freaking me the fuck out on a regular basis, so extra love to Heather and Ro.
I share in a lot of what everyone has expressed, even seemingly contradictory perspectives, because this stuff is so messy. The feeling I keep circling back to is grief.
This resonated a ton: “But I do wish there was a clearer pathway to joining together and translating this anger and grief into successful action. I really wish we as a collective would stop accepting these scraps and realize we can and should demand more/better.”
I think about how early in the pandemic, people would sometimes talk about how this was revealing so much about inequities and gaps in our organized support systems (healthcare, etc.)… And a lot of those same people have done nothing to make change on a systemic level. Helping make our healthcare systems resilient to sudden surges in case numbers, resourcing schools to do all they can to keep kids safe, these are the kinds of things that could have helped get a to a “new normal” that takes Covid into account. Instead, people are returning to the old normal that got us into this pandemic, that continues to take so many lives.
I’m not arguing for super strict protocols everywhere forever. Because among other reasons, let’s also acknowledge: The black-and-white masking mandates we’ve been relying on also left a lot of disabled folks behind. (Doctors love to say that there aren’t health conditions that prevent you from wearing a mask, and I’m a disabled person who can and does wear a mask, but I trust my friends to tell me what is and isn’t possible for them given their disabilities, thank you.) I wish we could have a situation where everyone takes the precautions they are able to take when they are able to take them (which isn’t 100% of the time for any of us), where everyone who is able to get vaccinated does so, because that would help us manage this without leaving people behind. But we’re so used to leaving each other behind…
As much as it sucks that most of us are struggling with how to make decisions in this nightmarescape, part of me is also grateful to hear how many of us are grappling with these decisions because it shows that you care <3
Thank you for this. Like many of you, I’m struggling with the day to day decisions, and in many ways it’s gotten harder as public health and other government institutions have more or less thrown up their hands.
I had really intense panic in the midst of the omicron surge as my workplace reversed its temporary closure, yet I’ve also taken some risks in order to spend time with friends and loved ones. And now that I’m applying for teaching jobs and going on campus visits, masking feels fraught—will it negatively impact my teaching demonstration? What is everyone’s baseline risk in those spaces? It’s really tough feeling like there’s no good guidance anymore. I was content to follow along with the CDC until they caved to pressures to cut recommended quarantine periods, now I just don’t know.
For the time being, I’m masking in most indoor public spaces. I’ve made a few exceptions, and I honestly don’t know if those were the right choices or not. I’ve been lucky enough not to get Covid that I know of, although I did have a respiratory infection in January 2020 that led to shortness of breath and fatigue for a month or two after. I’m vaccinated and boosted, and I rapid test if I have serious concerns about being exposed.
The individualization of public health is something I don’t know how to grapple with, or resist. I hope that we can find a way to harness our sense of anger and abandonment to make change. Thank you all for helping me feel less alone.
Yeah, I don’t know what to say.
Like Carmen, I also am wondering if the panic will ever go away and like Nicole, I’m feeling gaslighted by the repeal of mask mandates and other safety measures.
The isolation hasn’t been particularly good for my mental health but neither has the gaslighting. I grew up in an abusive extended family with a lot of denial and gaslighting and my ptsd keeps getting triggered. I’m very lucky and privileged to have a great trauma informed therapist.
Amari –
“But I do wish there was a clearer pathway to joining together and translating this anger and grief into successful action.”
Perfectly said. I am so angry, and my anger feels aimless.
Same
Thank you so much for this roundtable.
My husband and kiddo haven’t seen any family members since August 2019; the only reason I have is that my mother had a major surgery she was frightened about a few months ago and asked me to come. (She’s doing great.) We work from home and wear (K)N95s everywhere else, inside and outside, if we expect to be near other people. We’re all vaccinated and we adults are boosted. We don’t go many places indoors that aren’t strictly necessary, though we’ve relaxed that slightly since the omicron wave numbers have gone down – still no movies or restaurants, but we did mask up and go to a bookstore once. (Priorities!)
Fortunately, the parents of Kiddo’s two best friends (twins) also take precautions very seriously, so we’ve done a lot of masked outdoor playdates, and near the end of Spring Break after a week of isolation and rapid testing, we did unmasked sleepovers, which they desperately wanted. Kiddo has handled all of this with astonishing maturity, grace and patience, but it’s important to me to try to find safe-enough ways to grant her things she wants that will bring her joy, too. Thank goodness for FaceTime and Discord! We’ve kept in touch with friends and family far more often than pre-pandemic and it’s not the same as in-person but I’m sure our mental health would be much worse without that.
I wish I knew what our personal risks actually WERE. As unpleasant as even “mild” covid sounds (we adults each have risk factors for more severe infection), it’s long covid that really scares me. My dad and several other family members died in their late forties to late fifties of cardiac/cardiovascular events; I’m in my mid-forties; risk of cardiac events is higher after covid. I’m 100% sure my concern about Kiddo losing either or both of us is at least partly sound, logical and evidence-based. I’m 100% sure it’s at least partly anxiety. I wish I had any clue what the gap between the two was because right now I don’t see any path to being less cautious.
I could write a lot more but I should sleep! I wish you all health and peace. Thanks to all of you who’ve written here, and especially Heather for all your very honest writing about long covid – I know it’s been a struggle and I’m grateful for the gift of your work.
“It didn’t feel as hard for me when things were being outright canceled, but now that I’m the only one who doesn’t feel comfortable doing things, it’s so much harder.”
Thank you all but especially thank you Meg for this. I don’t want to go back to lockdowns but I sort of miss the first one, when the UK government did actually have a goal of preventing covid, albeit delayed, and people actually cared about not spreading it to others. It was so much easier to make decisions when we all had limited choices.
I have long covid and asthma caused by covid. I will likely be living with lifelong disability and it would take very little for me to no longer be able to care for myself or live alone. A second infection might not be a big deal or it could mean losing my home, my car and my independence. I’m so tired of having to figure out what the risk level is while other people get to spend their lives looking like they’re actively trying to get covid. It hurts the most when it’s the people who’ve seen me go through the last two years and still don’t seem to understand or care that they’re risking the same.
So I’m avoiding people again, as I have done for most of this year and a lot of last year. UK cases are higher than they’ve ever been, which is terrible but also makes it an easy choice to avoid everyone. I go out for essentials wearing a mask and I go for short walks where I’m rarely anywhere near people. 99% of the time I’m at home. I like my own company but this is a lonely life.
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
Having read through through the posts and comments, I have come to a new understanding of the effects of long haul COVID.
I have my own issues, but they pale in comparison to the pain, both mental and physical others suffer as evidenced here.
I need to make the personal leap that in family, friends and others that the level of anxiety and pain runs deeper than it may appear and in these times a greater level of empathy, understanding and compassion is required which includes our Autostraddle family. <3
as a barista and a dancer in a big city with I’d say like, decent mask wearing (at least in my area) despite no mandate, I often think, like, well I interact with hundreds of members of the public every time I go to work, so for *me* pre-vaccine, summer 2020-esque precaution levels outside of that feels like. both impractical not actually protective. it’s also life-sustaining for me to be able to train in a studio with other people, and it’s something I know I’ll be doing for the rest of my life. so really, my circumstances dictate my level of caution, and I’m careful to consider what I do. it means a lot to read all these different perspectives.
So I was super duper cautious, and then my favorite band was performing in LA and all my precautions flew to the wind. BTS is Korean so them being able to come over here was huge, and I went to LA to see them. I’m pretty sure I caught COVID on the plane back (six hours next to a man sniffling in the middle seat…). Basically I’m triple vaxxed and I will get my next booster whenever I’m eligible but whenever I’m in public I wear a mask. I work with the public at the public library and I KNOW some of our patrons are unvaxxed and stopped wearing masks as soon as they were able. So I wear a mask all the time at work but I hate that I’m in these situations with the public where I don’t know their vax status and I can’t ask them to wear a mask.
I appreciate this so, so much. My mother is very immunocompromised and my father is somewhat less at risk but immunocompromised also. It has been two years of grief, anger (what do you mean you won’t wear a mask in a grocery store to help save my beloved parents’ lives??), and a lot of therapy.
My roommate is significantly less cautious than me (vaccinated thank god but lax about other precautions) and that’s been difficult as well, to feel like even my very home is unsafe.
I feel often very alone even in my progressive circles, so it feels wonderful to see this roundtable and feel seen. I appreciate all of this and all the comments and I hope everyone is able to stay safe and okay
I can relate to this. Early on, before there was even a vax availble, my partner and I took in a long time friend from college who had a kidney transplant and was therefore immunocompromised (anti rejection drugs knock out the immune system).
My partner and I tended to isolate ourselves even under normal times, hermit like tendecies :) so our home was a safe haven for this individual. But I do remember well the feeling of anxiety that anytime we did venture out, all masked up and taking all precautions, that somehow we might bring the virus into our household and expose our friend. It adds anxiety to an already heightend level of anxiety.
Still, while many people have been vaccinated and somewhat protected, our friend still has little immunity even after a number of experimental approaches have been tried by a major University Hospital (Stanford). Our friend is back living at her own home, but I do think about her daily and the risk of getting exposed.
I had hoped to take my first-ever steps into WLW dating thus year when tbe weather warmed enough for outdoor dates. But it’s hard to imagine having actual physical intimacy; I was always too germphobic to imagine being comfortable with mouth-kissing, but now that mere close proximity is a deadly danger, my fear seems an insurmountable obstacle.
I haven’t lost anyone to COVID yet, but I live in endless anxiety. I mask indoors and very rarely dine indoors in restaurants. My mother is currently on a set of vacations and family visits full of gatherings, restaurants, and air travel, and I’m scared for her. But my life has mostly been stable and relatively low-risk…and yet I want to experience dating in hopes of eventual romance and sex, and “waiting for the pandemic to end” feels less feasible now.