Welcome to the fourth of four fantastic recaps of our entire experience at the First-Ever A-Camp, which took place two hours outside of Los Angeles at Alpine Meadows in Angelus Oaks, California, from April 26th-29th.
The idea was to take the spirit of the website into three glorious dimensions while simultaneously creating an affordable option for queer ladies for whom other lesbian events (such as Dinah Shore) aren’t a good fit. So, we rented out a summer camp in its off-season and enjoyed a transformative weekend of fun, friendship, panels, workshops, classes, sports, entertainment, events and so forth.
These epically long monster-posts will do their best to explain and extrapolate upon the camp experience, from shitstorms to emotional revelations to glory/triumph.
Last week, we got stranded on the side of the road, last weekend we detailed the first full day of camp, yesterday we enjoyed rehashing the last full day of camp, and today we’ll talk briefly about the last morning of camp but mostly about camp altogether as like, an experience.
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Sunday, April 29th
Part One: I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning
Marni: Ah, Sunday. The Lord’s day. The day of rest. The peaceful, restful end (technically start) to the week. Ani wrote a song about it. So relaxing, Sunday.
cabin pranks - sunday aftermath (photo by jess r)
Marni: I woke up at 5:00am on Sunday (after going to sleep around 2:30 once Laneia’s car was sufficiently loaded up with leftover craft supplies) in order to see off Bren’s 6:00am minivan. I don’t know what we would do without the Brens of the world, I honestly don’t. There was one person more than we were aware of, and she gamefully volunteered to sit on the floor of the van between the two bucket seats for the two-hour trip to the airport. What choice did she have, really. And so began Sunday.
Laneia: I didn’t want to wake up. I didn’t want to get dressed. I didn’t want to put things in suitcases. I didn’t want to go.
Marni: Riese had made some kind of driving plan the day before, but had succumbed early in the night to the overwhelming joy of the talent show and hadn’t had the chance to impart the subtle intricacies of said plan to yours truly, so I was left to my own devices to organize and deploy the morning shuttles, armed only with my tuque, a cup of possibly-decaf-coffee, and a spreadsheet that had been left open on her laptop.
One might not necessarily immediately categorize the ensuing events as “success,” but I can tell you this much: there isn’t anybody left on that mountain as I write this. Not one single human. And we take our small victories where we can.
(photo by heidi b)
Carmen: I packed with a Turbie Twist on, since by this day I was done being ashamed of doing my hair routine in front of other people. Joanna left super early and Taylor confessed to all of us that she super loves bananas and wants to start carrying them around in a Banagrams case. I forgot to drink coffee.
Laneia: Megan and I were scheduled to drive our savior AAA Conley to LAX so she could fly back to the other side of the country. Beth had set up some tasty breakfast treats for the early risers, so we grabbed some danishes and coffee and sort of slipped out before I could say a lot of goodbyes or have any real feelings of departure. I did get to hug Rachel and Crystal though. At least there was that.
(photo by robin roemer)
Laneia: We wasted no time — as soon as we started down the mountain, the three of us were processing our post-camp feelings. I drilled Alicia on what she considered the highs/lows of the weekend and we all talked about wishes and expectations vs. reality. I was pretty much consumed with how I hadn’t spent as much time hanging out with campers as I’d wanted to. We stopped at McDonald’s for more coffee and Alicia had tea. After we dropped her off at LAX, Megan and I agreed that Alicia had really adorable outfits.
Riese: I woke up and had my intern fetch me a coffee and then I assumed van-plan-duty, which was also the duty of making sure Marni still loved me despite my incomprehensible spreadsheet. I had a surprisingly tasty breakfast situation with my daughter, Emily Choo, and then planted myself in Deer Lodge with my laptop trying to figure out how to get everybody off the mountain while apologizing a lot, and running around like a gazelle.
Sara: Beth set out a sandwich bar for us because we had to leave before lunchtime. I was so thankful that there was sunshine for the drive back down the mountain and not fog. We stopped at a gas station and were reminded that the real world outside has straight people and men and it was disappointing.
gaby drives her van (photo by taylor)
Carmen: Between breakfast and lunch I reapplied sunscreen, smoked two cigarettes, made five new friends, halfway became a lesbian club promoter, and continued to follow Brittani around. I saw my first lizard. Also Katrina shared stories with us around a picnic table from the night before. I drank a coffee. I had chosen specifically to wear my YOLO shirt so I could look ridiculous on the plane.
Laneia: I literally couldn’t stop talking about camp. Somewhere around Indio I decided that if I didn’t eat some Chipotle soon I would probably die. Then I talked about camp while I ate Chipotle and didn’t die.
Riese: There were a few hours of respite when all the vans were on the road and we were awaiting their return, which’s when I “packed” and said “bye” to people like Haviland and Ashley. Brandy told me she felt the weekend had been transformative and Julie and Brandy said they’d definitely be there next time and my heart enlarged and burst out of my chest.
group enjoys extra afternoon time to spend together (photo by rachel walker)
Carmen: Beth said “vagina warriors” at lunch. Someone got a fortune cookie reading, “IT gets better when YOU get better.”
Riese: Which just-so-happens to be what Sarah Palmer and I said in our It Gets Better video.
alex is having a great day
Whitney: We drove back in a 15-passenger van that Rachel was driving — she said she was actually really enjoying driving the gigantic scary vans (“I’m really starting to identify with van drivers”).
Riese: Rachel took TWO LOADS, you guys! TWO. That’s 7.5 hours of driving vans with people in them. What would we do without the Brens and the Rachels of the world. Also, at some point I manned a merch table. This was a crucial decision, because later I’d need the cash earned from selling merch to pay the camp kitchen staff to drive campers back to LA because we ran out of vehicles. I’m serious.
leaving camp (photo by rachel w)
Katrina: Rachel was really great at handling those curves if you know what I mean. Laura read us a poem about life being ephemeral, unlike Mike and Ikes, which can be consumed many times. Whitney led a discussion weighing the pros and cons of the camp bear situation being about leather daddies rather than animals.
Whitney: Riese sent out a memo about not having snacks or liquor in the cabins before we got to A-Camp. Why? Bears. Supposedly, bears will come and get you if you have snacks or alcohol in your cabin. While we didn’t see any furry four-legged animal bears, it seemed like the gay kind would be more likely to come into your cabins to partake of booze and snacks. And if that happened, I’d totally share my edibles and drinkables with those leather daddy bears.
Riese: Sugar & Fitzi told me that they had a “couples crush” on me and Marni and I thought that was just the cutest thing.
sugar & fitzi on the last day (photo by rachel w)
Carmen: I freestyled a full verse as Lil Carmen from her debut hit single, “Two Girls At Once.”
Katrina: Carmen rapped, Jamie bought a holographic cat bookmark, and I fell asleep on the wheel of the van, which started vibrating intensely on a bumpy road, which I think counts as getting laid at A Camp.
Carmen: When I woke up from my nap there were men outside the van, which was really strange and off-putting. Also, “I Came, I Saw, I YOLO’ed” was said in the van by Rachel Kincaid.
Riese: A lot of campers weren’t flying out until like, 10pm, including our staff, and so like a month before camp I’d decided that we should have a Roller Skating party in the afternoon at a roller rink, like Xanadu + Roller Derby + The L Word. I was imagining pizza, pitchers of soda pop and lots of hand-holding. Unable to rouse group enthusiasm for this project, I looked up nearby excursions and decided instead we could all go to Santa Monica Beach!
santa monica pier (photo by rachel w)
Riese: I’d sent out emails pre-camp about it and had my nice list of the 20 or so humans who wanted the field trip. This number exploded on the day of… so for that reason and many others this really ridiculous idea of mine became a giant clusterfuck, eventually, but talking about it will give us all PTSD, so let’s pretend like it never happened. I just wanted people to have fun and not be bored in the airport!!
Marni: Six hours, several vans, two SUVs driven by Alpine kitchen staff and many frantic text messages later and we were all at Santa Monica Pier, having The Best Time of Our Lives Unmarred By Any Negative Feelings Whatsoever.
Lizz: Trying to shuttle everyone back to the airport was almost as hard as getting them all there. Dictator-Lizz came out for a victory lap.
Marni: I had a few very tender moments with my Canadians, who were in great spirits and rallied in a manner befitting our homeland.
joy at the santa monica pier (photo by taylor)
SAYING GOODBYE
grace, carolyn & taylor (photo by taylor)
Lizz: Grace and I arrived at the airport hours and hours and hours early. We didn’t want to go in to our gates because we were in separate terminals. Unfortunately we also couldn’t sit down for a bite to eat because there was no food before security in either of our terminals. Instead, we hung out underneath the last remaining pay-phones on earth while I charged my iPhone. When we parted ways after an hour we went right back to texting like we always do. It strikes me as amazing how I can have these perfectly seamless in person/online relationships. I sort of love it.
Sara: I left a little bit of my heart at each terminal that I stopped at. As I said goodbye to each camper, I realized just how much I was impacted by each of them, and how sad I would be if I never saw them again.
Carmen: Carrie bought me peanut butter pretzels and popcorn chips for dinner. We dropped everyone off at the airport and I said goodbye to Brittani twice because the first time I left all of my flight information, bus information, and shuttle tickets on the dashboard.
Riese: The good news is that Marni had taken all the extra alcohol, so we generously gifted Robin with a prime bottle of Barefoot Merlot to top off the amazing afternoon.
parking lot at santa monica (photo by taylor)
Carmen: I left my terminal after going through security to get a drink with Jamie and Whitney because I felt like maybe I would start crying if I didn’t. Katrina met up with me and we went back through security together and I started sweating. I listened to Drake’s entire discography on the plane while Katrina slept and Gabby and I drank Corona Extras out of cans.
Riese: We parted ways and Marni and I spent the evening with Crystal in Los Angeles and enjoyed a delightful meal at her favorite restaurant, The Cheesecake Factory. The next morning we went to Executive Van Rental — Lizz and Gabby successfully cajoled them out of charging us for their fucked-up tire, but they did charge us for $200 of “damage” on a different van which was nowhere to be seen. So. Whatever. That part of Monday was so close to the part where we went to the hotel and got Tinkerbell back that it’s all just a fever dream at this point.
(this picture is actually from february 2008, a mere month into tinkerbell's precious life on earth, but it would really fit seamlessly into this recap if i hadn't told you that)
Marni: Tinkerbell was found poolside, with a fresh tan and mani/pedi, having enjoyed a weekend of self-care and relaxation at the Four Points Sheraton LAX. I’m still not convinced she didn’t stage the whole thing.
Carmen: I refused to sleep until I’d written everything down, because I didn’t want to lose one moment in the rewriting. I fell asleep right before Saturday and woke up in New York.
Riese: The whole (eight hours) home we talked about next camp, and how to give me more time to hang out with campers.
Marni: Then I slept for three weeks.
Part Two: Feelings
[photos in this section come from: robin roemer, gabby, taylor, carly, vanessa, ashley p, rachel w, mary b, jamie, jess r, elise b, kate h, kelsey d, hilary m and ashley reed]
whole camp photo (photo by robin roemer)
Riese: I can’t believe it actually happened. Really, I can’t. I couldn’t believe it was going to happen, I couldn’t believe it was happening, and now I can’t believe that it happened.
Marni: In the end, the brief hugs and loving words I had the chance to exchange with the parting staff were a poor counterfeit for the immense gratitude and awe I felt for each one of them, for the beauty and talent and grace that each one of them brought to camp. It was an incredible privilege to be able to work alongside these amazing women, and so humbling to be able to play even a small role in the labour of love of this army of brilliant, hilarious, and talented warriors. I will be forever grateful for the opportunity to be a part of this vision.
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“It was a safe space that made me feel welcome and completely at home. The workshops, the cabin assignments, the shuttles- all the hard work that the staff put into our stays and our getting there made me feel loved.”
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“I really enjoyed the panel discussions. They were very informative and I feel I left camp with more knowledge than I came.”
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“[I liked] finding community, meeting my people and being in the presence of so many amazing queer unicorns just like me.”
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Brittani: I don’t think I’ve ever felt less aware of my identity than when I was at camp which is a weirdly freeing experience. I felt at camp like straight white dudes probably feel everywhere. Camp made me feel better about being a person that exists in the world because I know all of you are out there. Now when I think to myself everyone is stupid, I have a sidebar with myself and say, “Except for those A-Campers. They’re quality through and through.” And then I eat a waffle. For everyone to claim to be so awkward, we had a really non-awkward time.
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“Everyone was really open, accepting and lovely. I felt like I could just relax and be myself without running every sentence spoken through a filter.”
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Marni: I loved being able to meet and talk with all the campers – every single person that I met was so lovely and friendly and interesting – and I really wish, in retrospect, that I’d had more time to just hang out and get to know people more. Next time I’m going to make sure to devote more time to that.
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“I loved how sweet and welcoming Robin and Marni were, loved my cabin-mates, all the panels I was able to attend, Julie Goldman, the campfires, the talent show, Hanna Hart, all the people who came, etc. Just the atmosphere was my favorite part. Even when I wasn’t doing anything, I just felt like I was in the “right” place.”
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“It was amazing to be surrounded by so many talented, smart people and never feel put down. All the love, basically, was the best part.”
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Jamie: The Little Rascals and I didn’t get to spend as much time together as I’d have liked, but their Tegan & Sara singing circle and talent show performance will remain in my heart forever.
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“I’ve never been in such a positive and safe space before, and it was incredible to look around and think, “Wow…all of these girls are totally queer and it’s GREAT.” Also, I loved getting to chat with other early risers in Wolf every morning. There are a thousand wonderful little things and great panels and awesome campfires, but those were probably my absolute favorite parts!”
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Annika: My campers made a halfhearted attempt at modesty that lasted for approximately twelve hours. I thought I was being risqué on Friday morning by doing my makeup in my underwear, but then some of the other girls just started walking around topless. By the end of the weekend, it wasn’t surprising to enter the cabin and find someone hanging out on the bed completely naked. This was exactly what my friends pictured when I told them I was going to lesbian camp.
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“[It was great] having so many (all?) aspects of myself embraced and celebrated in one space. Everyone was so affirmative and positive. It was truly magical.”
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“[I liked] meeting women who were not only queer but actually had a lot of similar interests! Geekery, internet, reading, CAMPING, etc! The panels were very interesting and informative and the activities were fun. The people definitely took the cake though. Good staff + campers.”
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Laneia: The one-on-one conversations I had with campers were by far the best part of everything. I keep thinking about the conversation I had with Fitzi, about being married to a guy and the aftermath of coming out, divorce etc, and wondering if she knew how much it meant to me to hear her story. Talking with her about those things — things that used to humiliate me and leave me feeling completely alone — was basically the culmination of all the tiny parts I’ve tried to share, terrified, hoping it would matter to someone, for all these years. And it did. And I got to see it in her face! It was all really real. It was a lot.
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“It was strange because I felt like I knew so many of the staff already and yet it was so exciting to put real voices with the amazing people who I had ‘known’ for sometime now. It was like meeting celebrities and dear friends all at once. In a word, magical.”
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Carmen: To be honest, before I came to A-Camp I wasn’t really sure I needed A-Camp. After all, I live, as of today and as of then, in my own little world with about 600 queer separatist friends (which is half a joke and half an accidental reality of our lives). I didn’t really realize until I found campers at the airport that this was going to be quite as out-of-the-ordinary an experience for me as it was. A-Camp wasn’t just hanging out with lesbians (and otherwise inclined women). Being at A-Camp was like being on Autostraddle, only without the sad articles about homophobes and their stupid cakes and stupid laws and stupid lives, in real life and uninterrupted by 503 Errors.
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“[It was great] seeing and hearing speak in person the people who I have been reading everyday online for so long. It was pretty surreal to see the website brought to life the way it was. The panels were also really, really good… Activism, Gender, Queer Women of Color, Formspring Friday, and Sex panels were all really smart/funny/awesome/entertaining and were exactly the type of thing I came to camp for. It was very much “the website come to life” which was SO amazing.”
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Riese: At the Formspring Friday panel, we did a quick survey and discovered that maybe only a third of the campers had ever commented on the website. This is typical — only 33% of blog readers will ever comment, it’s a statistical fact! Afterwards, Abbey approached me to say she’s one of the 66% that never comment, and she said something like, We’re here, I wanna say on behalf of the people who don’t comment that you don’t hear from, that we’re here, there are so many of us, and we support you and we love what you do. It’s true — most readers and most campers have never and will never comment. We wonder about you guys all the time — what you like, what you’re like. And there you were.
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“Everyone was approachable and super into just getting to know other people, which made the experience that much better. I am still shocked by the fact that every staff member genuinely cared about us/A-Camp/each other -like, how do you get so many amazing people in one group? Automagic, that’s how.”
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Carmen: Everyone sort of understood one another without even needing to speak, and I never felt like people were being harsh, mean, or anything but pleasant. In fact, most people were there to be as nice as possible. My anxiety melted away alongside my first drinking cup, and because of that I felt kind of like I was living this entirely different life for a few days. I liked who I was in that life very much, and I liked everyone else too. If I had let my emotions grab control of me on the last day I would have been such a mess, you guys. I remember Brittani asking me if I wanted to ride shotgun in her shuttle (I did, but didn’t end up inside of it), and listening to Lil Carmen with Katrina and Jamie, and then suddenly I was saying goodbye to all of them and texting Gabby and running toward Washington, DC and I just wanted to run back. I’m sincerely sitting on the edge of my seat until next time.
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“All of the workshops and panels were great! Every time Gabby was on a panel, I knew I had to go. The style workshop and vegan living taught me stuff I can’t learn in a gender studies classroom, so that’s cool! Then processing all my feelings with cabinmates. Meeting the staff of Autostraddle was really incredible! Omg, Beth. Camp had an indescribable energy to it. Thank you so much for existing and making this happen!!! Every single one of you is super hot/funny/smart and make me happy in my heart.”
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Cabin Photos // April 2012
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The Troubletones
The Troubletones // Counselors: Crystal & Alex
“It was nice that [my cabin mates and I] seemed to share a common vision of what we wanted the weekend to be – balance of programming, soul searching, queer lady bonding, high stargazing, whiskey shots, etc. But I really feel like I would of loved any randomly selected group of campers. Everyone was soooo cuuuute!”
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Forever 21
Forever 21 // 21 Hump Street // Counselors: Jess S. and Sarah Croce
“I think we formed such a tight bond because we were all in the same stage of life. Being 21, we were transitioning from school to the real world and shared similar experiences and perspectives on the world.”
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Little Rascals
Little Rascals // Counselors: Laura & Jamie
“The cabin was like home base; you could venture off and meet new people, but then you could come back to the cabin and gush about all the cute girls you talked to and your new gender knowledge.”
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Wolfpack
Wolfpack // Counselor: Stef
“Whoever put us together realized that we were (almost) all weirdo introverts that would get along well in our nerdiness.”
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Cherry Bomb
Cherry Bomb // Counselors: Gabby & Katrina
“Our counselors were amazing, they were the only ones who opted out of moving into staff cabins, and I will love them forever for that reason. My cabin mates were amazing people who I will be friends with always… THANK YOU for assigning me to Cherry bomb. I know there was a lot of thought process put behind all those flashcards.”
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The Beats
The Beats // Counselor: Annika
“We all really clicked well, our age range was similar and we were all living in San Francisco, which, I guess takes a similar type of person, lol.”
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The Golden Girls
The Golden Girls // counselors: taylor, bren & Jess r
“Every single person, including/especially our counselors, were so open, welcoming, honest and had something special that they brought to the group (and I’m not just talking about the booze!). They are just incredible women and I feel so lucky to have met them and spent time with them.”
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Hotel California
Hotel California // counselors: Sara M & Brittani
“I feel like I’ve known my cabin mates for fifteen years, and still can’t understand why we had not met before camp.”
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The Sharks
The Sharks // Counselors: Carolyn, Carmen & Emily
“I felt like our cabin was very well put together, people had lots in common and seemed to be very similar in temperament, attitude, etc – very easy going, up for a laugh, immediately sociable, friendly… I don’t know how the A-Camp team made that happen without knowing us, but it worked. Maybe ’cause a lot of us are Canadian?! All the cabins seemed so nice and friendly and sweet, but I definitely had the general feeling of “I’m super glad that I’m a Shark!””
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Littlefoot
Littlefoot // Counselor: Rachel
“Pretty much all of us clicked, and we were all fairly laid back, which was nice. I would have died in a bigger, more excitable cabin!”
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Rubyfruit
Rubyfruit // Counselors: Lizz & Whitney
“My cain mates were just awesome. RUBYFRUIT, YEEEEEEAAAH! I did want to know how the cabins were selected because it was kind of an amazing combination… ALSO! LOL I lied about my age to you guys but I totally fit right in. I GUESS IT WAS LIKE, FATE.”
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After cabin photos and the all-camp photo, we took a photo of the A-Camp Staff and also a photo of the team that launched Autostraddle back in March 2009 (minus Tess & Natalie!).
Original team:
L to R: Robin, Carly, Crystal, Riese, Stef, Alex, Laneia (missing: Tess, Natalie & Tinkerbell)
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Present team:
Team Autostraddle, L to R - Back Row: Julie, Brandy, Taylor, Alex, Riese, Marni, Lizz, Carmen, Bren, Megan. Middle row: Rachel, Stef, Sarah Croce, Robin, Carly, Annika, Sara M., Crystal, Grace, Brittani, Lauren (going down on Lauren: Ashley Reed). First row: Gabby, Katrina, Whitney, Jess R, Jess S, Emily, Carolyn, Laura, Laneia. (on top of everybody: Haviland)
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On Camp
by riese
A few months after launching Autostraddle in March 2009, we decided to throw a fundraising party for New York City Pride, which took place the last weekend of June. By “we” I mean those of us on the team who lived in New York City, which is to say “almost all of us” — me, Alex, Carly, Robin, Stef and our then-business-manager Brooke. (Isn’t it funny that when we made $30 a month, we had a business manager, and now we don’t? I think it’s hilarious!)
A couple of weeks prior, Brooke had suggested we obtain interns, and so we’d put out a call for interns and literally accepted every single person who applied, developing a 15-strong “Intern Army” deployed to complete mundane duties like “transcribing interviews” and “photoshopping a picture of Sarah Shahi onto a picture of a Volcano.” Hoping to obtain their support in promoting our Pride Party online, we let them know that it was happening and provided basic details along with suggestions for press outlets and potential sponsors to contact.
Within a week, Intern Nicole, who lived in the city and sometimes worked with us in 3-D, informed us that almost all the interns had decided to COME to New York for the Pride Party. We hadn’t even thought to invite them! But our only not-broke Intern had somehow swung a hotel room via an ex-boyfriend which they all planned to share — yes, all 14 of them. They came from all over the world — Chicago, Belgium, Canada, Los Angeles, Boston, D.C, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh — and they did this despite being broke, despite being 19, despite being college students, despite parental disapproval, despite it being a long way to travel for just one weekend and despite common sense.
But they came because that’s how intense one’s desire can be to meet other people who think like you do, who care about the things that you care about. They did what they had to do to get there — and I’ll get back to that in a bit because that revelation came last, after the weekend, and it’s that revelation that made camp happen. Because that’s what I’m getting into here is the story of how camp happened.
I think when we tell these possibly self-indulgent stories about times when the Autostraddle team converged and bonded — like Pride ’09, Pride ’10, the National Equality March, Dinah Shore, etc. — we tend to leave out the terrible parts and we make it sound like we all clicked right away and everything was magical. That’s not true. We don’t just exclude the unseemly stories — girls throwing up on their pants/in hotel rooms, girls’ homophobic parents chasing Alex’s car around Manhattan to retrieve their daughter from our homosexual clutches, drunken Palm Springs bar fights that kick-start actual legal battles, or awkward and ill-resolved intra-team crushes — but we exclude the parts where we were just a bunch of awkward weirdos in a room, too.
When the team met the Interns for the first time, at Brooke’s Extended Stay Apartment Situation the day before the Pride Party, it was terrifyingly awkward. For starters, the stress of the week had kicked my Fibromyalgia into overdrive, so I was lying on the floor moaning and remained prone until Intern Lex offered me respite in the form of a joint, which we smoked in the shower, dampening our socks and blowing smoke out a tiny air vent while I prayed the kids in the other room had found something to talk about. But also our planned “wordpress workshop” was foiled by dysfunctional Wi-Fi, and the DVDs we’d wanted them to burn for the party wouldn’t burn, and it looked like rain and we were 95% sure that none of the interns would get into the party and we didn’t know what to do about that or how to tell them. There we all were, in a room! All of us similar people! What the fuck were we gonna SAY to each other? I panicked internally — Is this what happens when you put so many weirdos in a room? We just sit here staring at each other, wishing we could be g-chatting instead, or reading a book?
I wanted to tell you about that awkward first Pride Intern/Team meeting in my “speech” on the first night of camp so that you wouldn’t feel weird if it happened to you, but instead of telling you that I think I just shrieked a lot and covered my face. And then I would’ve told you that things changed, gradually, over the course of that day and the next. We had a big dinner in Little Italy, and loose after carafe after carafe of wine and high on anticipation, we broke down a little bit, started actually getting to know each other one-on-one, and we kept on like that throughout the weekend. The best part, oddly, was when the interns (predictably) got kicked out of our party for being underage and we all took turns sitting outside with them, where finally it was quiet and we could talk about their lives and what brought them here.
So basically what happened that weekend is that we met 14 of Autostraddle’s biggest fans/supporters, and it gave us something past this screen and this keyboard and the miles and hours of bandwidth between us to hold onto. I wrote, after Pride: “I have never felt such overwhelming positivity about a group of people before in my life. Seriously it was almost transcendent and in a strange way totally incomparable to any feeling I’ve ever felt before.”
Sound familiar?
The camaraderie developed by meeting each other made Autostraddle a better website. It made us better people. It got us through that first year when there was no money and very few readers and all our Moms thought this was an enormously terrible idea.
And after that first weekend the interns kept coming back to New York, against all odds. They kept coming back throughout that year and into the next; sleeping stacked like sardines in the sweaty summer of my West Harlem living room, eating mini-pizzas and drinking cheap beer, writing in their notebooks, taking photos in the park, sitting on my bed making lists, getting us coffee in the morning. Some interns dated and/or hooked up and some just drew pictures together.
And the closeted ones started coming out, too — to themselves, to their families, to their friends. Brooke came out to her parents first, like a month before Pride, on the day we first met and interviewed Katrina, and I remember how over mediocre tacos on the Lower East Side we balanced Brooke’s jubilant texts with Katrina’s interview and I felt like things were moving forward so quickly in so many positive directions, and not just because Katrina was probably on drugs and talking really fast. Most of us on the team were already out, but most of the interns weren’t, but gradually and then suddenly — they were.
We were all there in the messy living room on video-chat with Intern Vashti after she came out to her parents. She said it went well, better than she expected, and we all got teary-eyed and this enterprise felt perfectly tangible.
But what I always forgot about in between team events and remembered the moment we all showed up in the same room again was how much we already understood about each other, how much we laughed, how much we felt seen by one another in a way we never felt seen in the rest of the world. I can’t put my finger on it, or maybe I don’t want to, but there’s something we all have in common, and it’s not just being queer. I didn’t see any reason why that experience should be limited to those of us who run the website. I wanted all the readers to have it, too.
Which brings me to this point: when pitching the A-Camp idea to others, my primary piece of evidence for why A-Camp would work was that 14 interns came to Pride in 2009. It’s a ridiculously small sample size and no businessperson would ever run a business on that theory. But I knew that because they came, that you would find a way to come. And you did. This is just the beginning.
Most of you reading this will never come to camp and many of you reading this don’t want to or can’t, but I hope you know that camp will enable a better website for everybody and ideally, one day, a better world. After next week we’ll stop talking about camp all the time, but I know that the fact that it happened and will happen again will only strengthen the site’s primary mission, which is accessible to anybody with an internet connection.
Some of you reading this did go to camp and honestly didn’t really have an amazing time, or can’t relate to the more effusive memories relayed in the recaps’ camper quotes and if that’s you, I hope you still feel brave for trying. If you got on a plane or in a car and traveled all the way to Angelus Oaks to be stranded on a mountain with 200 strangers for an entire weekend and you did that alone, then I am so fucking proud of you, and I’m honored that you trusted us enough to make that choice and I hope you come back some day. We’ve got heaps of constructive feedback from all the campers and about a billion things we need to do about a zillion times better next time, and we’re already working on that.
After Pride 2009, I read all the interns’ blog entires about their trip (obviously all interns have blogs) and the one that touched me most of all was from one of our quieter interns — I’d been worried throughout the weekend that she wasn’t having a good time, or that she felt lost amid the loudness and oft-expressed ecstasy of the other more outgoing interns. But in her blog post she talked about how even though she was too shy to talk too much, or too insecure to put herself in the middle of the action, that just being there was enough, just to be part of that energy and amongst those women, just to witness it. I didn’t see her again after Pride until a few months ago and when I saw her a few months ago she was surrounded by awesome queer women. She was radiant with a new happiness I’d not seen all those years prior and she was still as beautiful as ever. We grow into things — we grow into ourselves. We grew into this. We take tiny steps and we all have our own paths towards that comfortable place and we get there at our own pace.
At A-Camp, we had deeply closeted campers and young campers who’d never met other queer people — but we also had campers who have been out and proud for decades and campers who have families or strong queer communities where they live. Everybody is at a different stage of their life and we have so much to learn from each other — just like that first Pride Weekend, but multiplied by 10,000 and with more panels, more Julie Goldman and much cuter t-shirts.
It took us three years to get to Camp — three years of trashing hotel rooms and having dramatic email fights with each other about fliering, three years of growing up and moving and finding our footing in the world and figuring out who we are and what we want. We never could’ve done this three years ago, or two years ago, or last year, and I’m so blessed to have watched these girls grow into the inspirational women they are today. In turn, we’re all blessed by you — we only know what we are because you tell us what we are, after all — our patient, enthusiastic, intelligent, funny and endlessly kind readership.
I’d always thought that I’d lived my life to get to the writing, but it turned out I’d done the writing to get to my life — and what I learned that summer was that it wasn’t just mine anymore. It was ours.
And now it’s yours, too.
A-Camp 2.0 will take place from September 12th-16th at the same location — Alpine Meadows Resort in Angelus Oaks, California. Pre-registration will begin Monday, May 21st, at which time additional information will be shared and further questions will be answered. So please save your questions for Monday!
xoxo
autostraddle
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I DIDN’T EVEN GO TO A CAMP BUT I WANTED TO POST FIRST!!
And also you said “third of four” at the top and I have a feeling that’s not right.
Not to be a big “I’m only here to correct your mistakes” douche bag.
I just wanted to be first.
I read the rest of it and Riese’s inspiring words make me want to cry.
Camp was really amazing. And to all of you staff who put in so much hard work to make this little piece of heaven for all of us THANK YOU, it was life-changing for me and I just loved every minute of it.
Also, I’m really sad I missed the ch-ch-cherry bomb cabin photo, but my pre-talent show jitters made me run off so I could have time to perfect my song haha.
Unfortunately I can’t make it in September but I’m SO EXCITED for everyone who gets to do it all over again and for those who will be experiencing the magic for the first time! <3
Riese, you’re a really fucking good writer, and a really fantastic person. How fucking cool is it that you’ve inspired all of these people to jump all the way out of their comfort zones and have these incredible experiences? Thank you (and all of the Autostraddle staff, it’s so obvious how hard you all worked, like holy shit, Marni and Robin, etc.) for camp. Seriously. Regardless of any kinks that are left to be worked out, I wouldn’t trade my experience of being at the first A-camp for anything. It was simultaneously the most surreal and most real anything has ever seemed, and despite Marni’s assurances that she got us all off the mountain, part of me is definitely still up there.
Also, SO excited that the pic Taylor took of my lyrics sheet is the first picture in this.
Legitimately almost cried at seeing that, and a few of you had the pleasure of seeing me get emotional on cam while reading this because this is what this website has allowed us: our very own community.
Gahhhh #feelings
Next time…. I swear to all that is good and wonderful, im going.
yay!
BBQ TEAM CABIN.
HELL YES BBQ TEAM CABIN.
Camp was amazing. It went beyond my expectations. The experience and the lasting effects it’s had on my life continues to amaze and astound me. I just want to buy you all a pony! Thank you! From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
I would just like to say that I havent read this yet and don’t plan to until laaaater, cause all of the comments add a totally new dimension to these recaps (and really all AS pieces). A-CAMP: AVRIL 2013 :D
Jeez Riese make me cry will you?
“how much we felt seen by one another in a way we never felt seen in the rest of the world.”
This, exactly.
that quote exactly. The most amazing inclusive environment, and yeah the recap made me cry too :’)
You all have left fingerprints on my wee little queer heart. Thank you, I love you.
Once more with feeling! Thank you, I love you.
Riese, look! I comment now, all the time!
Even when I’m [redacted] and shouldn’t be typing anything at all anywhere.
I KNOW! I keep seeing your little face and thinking ANOTHER CONVERT IS BORN
I texted Grace the following on the Tuesday after camp, when we were both processing back and forth, and I think this is the recap where I’ll throw it out there, because it was really fresh and true for me in that moment:
“Would you believe that some of the best parts of camp for me were seeing the team interact? I was trying to put it into words last night, how seeing that family together and knowing how it was looking out for us made me feel, and I couldn’t, really.
[…]
[Camp was] kind of purity. Bigger and intimate all at once. I’ve never been a part of such a positive, uncynical experience before.
[…]
A-Camp is like a Patronus.”
And, dudes, I didn’t meet my soulmate at Camp, I didn’t break any beds, see any bears, have a quality conversation with Laneia (September, lady, I’m coming to High Tea) or finish a bottle of whiskey without several devoted whiskey pals’ help. But I did experience that thing Riese talks about, a feeling of believing in something massive/so small as to exist in the deepest parts of yourself, and how that feeling creates bonds between people. You guys have really made something beautiful, and special, and we can see it every time that you’re together…on the site, and out in the woods/WORLD. And you should be really fucking proud.
I think I said to Barb and Sondra on the drive back, “I don’t really feel like I need to be a part of that inner A-family…I’m just really glad they’ve got our backs, you know?”
True facts.
I’m glad we were able to ride up and back as a group and (totally stereotypically) process our feelings. Now I really miss camp all over again!
Camp is important. I feel so guilty taking a spot away from someone else for Camp 2.0, but I’m selfish enough to do it anyway. I need to be there if I’m going to keep breathing.
I agree! I want everyone to experience it, but everyday away from camp is a struggle.
“I need to be there if I’m going to keep breathing”
This is exactly how I feel and I didn’t even go.
I’m in.
(thank you for not scheduling it the same weekend as my cousin’s wedding, that is still appreciated).
Also if there’s a partial/total nudity cabin, I want to be in that one (Annika’s sounds PERFECT). As any Chistraddler can attest, I have a penchant for pantslessness. You’re not a real Chistraddler until you’ve seen me in my undies (American Eagle trunks, usually). Which means, oddly enough, former intern Elli was a bit behind…?
I do, however, apologize in advance for the fact that I will be having friends text me updates on North Central roller derby regionals. AS trumps derby, but the combination is best!
it’s true. marika skypes without pants on.
i thought everybody skyped without pants on…
I do pretty much everything without pants on
But this was platonic skyping. I just don’t like pants.
Haha, I was in Annika’s cabin and I can totally attest that the modestly seriously lasted about 12 hours. The ironic part is that I put on my camp preferences “no nudists please.” BUT I WAS TOTALLY COOL WITH ALL THE NAKEDNESS, LADIES.
So yeah I shed a couple tears while reading this. So what? Judge me! I love A-Camp!
A-Camp was definitely a home away from home for me. I have never felt more comfortable with myself and my life. People at A-Camp were genuine, awesome, hot, funny, smart, and hot (did I say hot? There were a lot of attractive ladies). I can never express my gratitude to Autostraddle for making their huge gay dream of creating a camp into reality. This little Utahan who thought she was all alone now has a gay family spreading all over the United States and parts of Canada, Australia, and London. So thank you.
Oh and one more thing, LITTLE RASCALS FOR LIFE!!! Love you girls! Laura don’t look so scared on my shoulders, many girls would kill to be in that position. (zing)
a-camp 2.0 is at the best possible time for me: after i move to LA, but before grad school starts!!! thank you for meeting the needs you didn’t even know i had.
This was so beautiful!!! I’ve loved reading these recaps. UTOPIA!
I am SO SAD that I won’t be able to make it to camp this September. I’m pretty sure I’ll be walking around in a fog for the next few weeks (or possibly until I register for Spring A-camp?). Is there any chance that the next spring camp will be in LA as well?
That last thing was gorgeous Riese.
Seriously you guys, A-Camp was one of the best experiences of my entire 25.7 years of existence. I don’t care where I am in September. I can somehow be working on freaking Mars, but you can bet I will commandeer a space craft of some kind and crash land my way back to Angelus Oaks for A-Camp 2.0! <3
I WILL find a way to get to A-camp next time… Reading about A-camp has been inspiring, so I’m sure the real thing will be even better.
Riese, I’m seriously considering your suggestion to rob a bank to get to the next camp. Also, thank you for your beautiful words that obviously resonate in all our hearts. Feelings forever!!
Am I the only one that checked the calendar and noticed this starts on a weds? An extra day of camp? I couldn’t make the first one because of work in Toronto but I will register for the sept one if I can snag a spot!
I’m going in September, no doubt about it.
I am so choked up from reading this, and I just feel so blessed to have experienced camp and all of the beautiful campers that attended. Thank you for the ending section Riese, it was perfect. Getting to play a small role in making this happen was more rewarding than I ever could have expected. I so look forward to 2.0 <3
I didn’t go to camp, but riese’s thing still made me cry…this website has seriously been a huge resource for me for the past year and a half, it helped me come out and at least begin to explore who I am within the confines of a conservative town. one day, I will get to camp and meet the truly awesome people that have changed my life from behind a computer screen. I love everyone on this website* without even meeting them!
*except for the trolls that got hotdogs. but that was still really funny.
I see A-camp 2.0 in my future. Even if I’m coming from Canada. No big deal.
Also I just did the complex math required to convert real life time into an Art Institute schedule, and I realized that A-Camp 2.0 falls over the exact day of my final portfolio review for school. The one that if I don’t go to, I am not permitted to graduate college.
Ouch. My heart. That’s the last week that I actually have to be physically in school ever again in my life.
But the fact that this exists and will continue to exist is still amazing. One day, A-camp. One day.
Additionally I cannot get over the amount of stylish pairs of shoes in these pictures. You guys are doing something right.
April. There’ll be a spot for you in April.
Well, I WON’T BE IN SCHOOL ANYMORE SO…. WOO
I think I’m moving to L. A. when I graduate too (literally 2 weeks after a-camp 2.0 happens) so I hope they don’t take everyone’s advice and finally have an a-camp on the east coast… … … … because it’s definitely all about me.
Oh nostalgia… I remember following Riese’s blog in 2007 and watching the VLOGs thinking: “I wish I could meet these people, or have friends like these people. This is what life should be like.” I remember reading Autostraddle as soon as it went online, wondering why something like it didn’t already exist. I remember the Rodeo Disco looking like so much fun in 2009, but I was too young (like the interns), so I didn’t go. Then I remember marching with a group of friends at the National Equality March and yelling “GO AUTOSTRADDLE” when I saw you all down the street – Katrina looked at me like a crazy person before shouting it back. I’ve been reading ever since (which also includes finding the courage to come out to the world, moving to NYC all on my own, and finding a girlfriend through AS). I didn’t go to camp because I felt like I would still be a weirdo outsider. But, I’ll be pre-registering and getting plane tickets this time.
I applaud you all. I’m so glad that I YouTube searched: “L Word Parody Vlog” all those years ago. You’ve come so far! #feelings
my heart!
This so much, thank you! i think there are so many readers here that have been around since the vlog/lword parody days and we are all just so proud and cant believe what riese and her team have accomplished.
I didnt go to camp. I am not even a registered user here. but I read this website everyday and I feel like I know you people and I love you.
In 2010, I went to NYC to visit a friend for new years eve. I was just coming out to my closest friends but no one else. I was getting off the train from long island into the city and who passed me? alex vega. alex motherfucking vega. in real life!!! i said nothing. i was afraid of looking ridiculous/weird/crazy etc…but all i wanted to do was shout “semicolon! nobody’s ready for winter!!by the way can we be friends?” luckily somewhere in my rational mind, i realized that was inappropriate. in reality i was a stranger but she and riese, stef, haviland et al. seemed like who i wanted to be if I could ever get there and they meant so much to me during that time. to this day, i still sort of feel like alex vega was my gay angel…assuring me just by walking by me that this world is smaller than i think, and these people I relate to so much are real and not so far away after all. that must be what camp felt like but multiplied by infinity. i hope to be a part of it someday.
thanks so much for all your hard work making camp happen. it makes everything seem possible.
Well this is beautiful.
oh my god this.
thank YOU. please come to camp.
(alex vega is everyone’s gay angel, like the tooth fairy in an american apparel hoodie)
loved this so much
“… how much we felt seen by one another in a way we never felt seen in the rest of the world.”
“I’d always thought that I’d lived my life to get to the writing, but it turned out I’d done the writing to get to my life.”
Words like these are what make Autostraddle my very favorite website. Out of all the thousands of millions of sites out there, this is the one that I feel like understands me. (That sounds crazy but y’all know what I mean.)
I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to come to an A-Camp, but I will always love reading about them.
Hannah Hart sitting on my lap for all of 5 seconds was indeed a magical (if drunkenly hazy) moment, but it is most definitely eclipsed by SO MANY OTHER beautiful/hilarious/goosebumpy moments that really made A-Camp the incredible experience that it was.
Sad the recaps are over but so fired up for September!
Also, Sharks for life.
just realized I’m really excited to hear you say ‘squirt’ again in your american accent.
Can I say I love the file name for the picture of our lyrics.
TROUBLETONES FOR LIFE
Troubletones! Ca Caw! (Soccer Mom you were the only one who ever responded to this)
CA CAAAAAAAAAW
I can’t believe my handwriting is on Autostraddle.
Also, how long it took us to come up with “safe space, gay face”. We wait for perfection.
I also still feel guilty for hurriedly writing a billion copies of that while Riese was like “everyone pay lots of attention right now” and I was 2 feet away, clearly not paying any attention. I am sorry! I have a guilty conscience. I want to give Riese all the attention all the time.
Oh god, that must’ve taken us like an hour to get “safe space, gay face”. And to explain what we were working on. “WE NEED FOUR SYLLABLES, TWO WORDS. TWO WORDS THAT HAVE TWO SYLLABLES EACH TO MAKE FOUR SYLLABLES. WE’RE REPLACING ‘STREELIGHTS, PEOPLE’. THIS SHOULDN’T BE THAT DIFFICULT.”
wait, can you just sing it from the beginning?
HAHAHA. And then when new people came in and you had to start all over again. That was so amazing.
This recap made me cry. All the feelings of wonderfulness!
Basically A-Camp changed my life. I came back a more confident person and more comfortable in my queerness. I literally wanted to shout “I am gay and I effing love it!” every where I went. I went from knowing zero lady-gays to knowing many and formed long lasting friendships with them (I will be moving in with 3 of my cabin-mates come fall). 21 Hump Street for life!
This was the best experience of my life thus far and I can’t wait to do it again in September! :)
I miss our cabin and our early mornings so much!
Excited to visit once you all get settled!
all the love to you, lady.
This is awesome!
Whoa! WHOA! Will this be happening by the time Sept Camp starts?!
Yup Caro! Hopefully we will be settled into a place in LA together by then. We will definitely have a post A-Camp feelings processing party at our place. :)
These re-caps…..just….wow. Thank you to everyone on AS and on our FB group for helping me re-live the best weekend of my life.
Carmen, are you still in D.C.?
Heeeeeeeeeeey!
i am definitely here for 2 more weeks
omg . . . Taylor’s note <3
also Taylor, your documentation of your trip to camp inspired me to make plans to take the train from the Bay area up to Portland to visit my best friend this summer. I'm already sort of thinking about what train snacks to bring.
I guess I have until September to come up with a really good lie for my parents about where I'll be. (!!!)
I suggest “lesbian Christian feminist camp,”* myself. http://www.autostraddle.com/top-10-lies-you-told-to-get-to-acamp-137527/
* Oddly I tried to work out which would be least object-able from my parents’ perspective, and it might just be “Christian.” I’m from a Muslim family.
I’ll be switching coasts to the west one in a year-ish… hopefully i can go then…
I had to stop and comment before finishing to ensure I am credited with the initial idea to carry around a banana in a Banangrams bag because that was one of my best jokes of A Camp and I riffed about it for roughly three minutes. I will also probably use it as a gag at some point so let the record show that though Taylor is the one that ate a shit ton of bananas, this is my joke. Thank you for your patience and understanding in this matter.
omg i’m so sorry b
you’re so hilarious, by the way
Unrelated to this story, but a serious highlight of camp for me:
Brittani: Hey, would it be weird if I ask you for a beer?
Me: Sure! This is amazing, but also so weird, you guys are all celebrities to me.
Brittani: Wait, is that YOUR trunk of booze right there?
Me: Oh, yeah.
Brittani: No, YOU are the celebrity!
I vaguely remember this but I think it’s much more likely I asked for whiskey which might be why I vaguely remember this.
Also, thank you to every camper that was part of my Liquor (Lickher?) Cabinet.
Don’t recall you ever making it over to the “Golden Girls Pub Crawl” which gives me sad face now
Me too, Digger. Me too.
That trunk was the best idea
“TO THE BAR!!”
Trunk Bar, it’s gonna be a thing.
This is the best idea. It’s how I imagine Inception if it were about fruit.
you guys some how magically matched all of the cabins perfectly
not once did i hear “omg so and so in my cabin sucks” or “i really don’t like my cabin”
i think every single person said “my cabin is the best cabin ever” at least once during camp
that was magical
i made at least 4 bffs within like 15 minutes of being at camp
and i still think the sharks were the best cabin
ftr
come at me bro
GO SHARKS
Riese has a sorting hat.
This was beautiful. I love this site because I can tell everyone behind it is so human and I loved reading the bit about the interns. Sometimes I feel like faceless robots write some of my favorite blogs.
I’m so sad that I won’t be able to make my absence go unnoticed for five days at the beginning of the semester. BUT ONE DAY I WILL BE THERE.
it’s too bad “shark” “the shark” have too many letters for a knuckle tattoo
I wasn’t a Shark, but COME AT ME is just the right number of letters.
SO UM, AT WHAT TIME AND IN WHAT TIME ZONE DOES THIS PRE-REGISTRATION HAPPEN ON MONDAY PLEASE?!
(I’m anxious it will fill up if you couldn’t tell from capslock)
this question is really really important to all of us weirdos from “the continent” too!
dude, flights are at about 800€ right now! I so wanna get this over with before I have time to think about how fucking expensive it’s gonna be.
oh my.
if we get our spots/go we should really not only stay the week-end. I vote San Francisco. seriously though.
oh yeah, if I have to pay that much to get me there it’s not just gonna be for a weekend.
I’ve been to SF a few times and loved it so I was also thinking of maybe going there after camp. but seeing the date I just realized that my father and his very lovely(ahem) new wife are gonna be there till the end of semptember. and I just know that I will totes bumb into him even in a big city like that and that might raise some questions about why on earth I’m about 10000miles away from where I’m suppose to be. but will see
hm, you could be a paid city guide for someone who has never been to SF! ;)
I am so nervous about this, already!!
well now that I’m over 21 I have to discover the city again from a totally different angle
good point!
will it be a boozy angle?
it most certainly will be a boozy angle!
I am also making the trip over & looking for a few extra days to spend, so San Francisco might be a goer :D
extended camp european division 2.0
Yes yes seven this.
This is so fucking inspiring that I just upped my monthly donation to Autostraddle! We will change the world!
First of all, I’m freaking out ’cause there’s now three pictures of me on Autostraddle through these recaps WHICH IS FREAKING AWESOME.
Secondly, Little Rascals for life! I fucking love all of you, and I honestly hope we can meet up again even if it’s not through camp and it’s just crashing on each other’s couches for a few days when we need to get out of wherever we are.
Riese, you’re amazing. Honestly, I was about in tears by the end of this.
Laura and Jaime, you’re the best counselors ever and though I can’t come in September, I hope you two are my counselors next time around.
Crying. Again. Just like I did basically all day Sunday. (Sorry to those poor campers in my van.. I could say I was tired, but I think most of me was genuinely sad that camp came and went like the blink of an eye for me and I felt very helpless that the last few hours were out of my hands.)
I didn’t write anything for this day because I don’t like thinking about the last day, but this was really nice. Especially the ending Riese. Thank you! I’m so honored to be part of this and I’m so very excited to be planning for Camp 2.0!!!
I was in your van. It was totally fine. I ate New England Clam Chowder in California and did not have to sit in the airport for 12 hours.
I would just like to say that my flight wasn’t until 11:20pm and after Carrie left me all alone in the world I couldn’t find ANYONE. I went to the bookstore looking for queers but apparently no one likes to read and I was in the wrong place.
Awww, sorry Brianna! I’m still bummed you weren’t on the same flight as Daniela, Morgan and I!
@Robin I very much enjoyed getting to know you better and hear your perspective on camp sitting behind you in the van!
whoa memories of that first rodeo disco just came way back.
that was so fun and so glad that happened. I still can’t figure out how we all slept in one hotel room.
Now i want to go to camp!
I remember seeing the pride and the rodeo pictures and aching. Maybe to meet the autostraddle team specifically or just other queer women: something midwest withheld, who knew. I couldn’t figure it out. But I’ve been growing up, loving [you] for your collective writing voice. I hadn’t thought of meeting you, like it hadn’t occurred to me we live on the same planet or in the same era. But at camp, pow! There you were: real people who I already felt this affection towards. And sitting near you guys, sometimes saying nothing and sometimes being much too loud: d’oh, I dunno. I’m trying to write you a love letter.
I remember your amazing, awestruck reaction when we got there. You were like OMG THIS IS FOR REAL CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. It was like we had discovered Narnia or something. And in a way, it kind of felt like we did.
I have been reading basically all the articles on this website, checking for new ones like everyday, for about the past two years. I think I commented like once or twice, but the A-Camp recaps are so amazingly awesome that I finally decided it was time for me to become a member. Thank you for being there for all of us peoples Autostraddle, for explaining things to me that I wasn’t aware I didint understand, for making me laugh with your hilarious recaps on bad days, and smile with your continually awesome articles. Ur da best. Every person who is a part of Autostraddle is a cool bean.
I had too many feelings about this so I put them here:
http://lesanimauxadorables.tumblr.com/post/23221136006/acamp
“Pulling away from camp in Robin’s van that afternoon I put on a brave face while I refused to look behind us or into the rearview mirror, in the interest of avoiding a shotgun talent show of my new-found bawling skills in front of the people I told could trust me to navigate them to Los Angeles. Robin wore her captain’s hat and it felt very official. We descended from camp at a safe speed but eventually we grew a tail of cars so long that we had to forfeit the mountain-scale game of Snake and pull over to let everyone pass. A man hung out his window and obnoxiously clapped at us and I thought, ‘Grow up, asshole, you will never understand how much fun we had this weekend.'”
I love this, Morgan! Thanks for sharing.
That was so nice to read, thank you! You looked like you were dead to the world in Wolf that day.
Rearranging my viva as we speak, nbd.
no but seriously what is it that we all have in common? like, outside the queerness? i still can’t pinpoint it. but i love it.
I think it’s something related to quirky silliness.
And liking to read.
I think there is a definite huge amount of niceness, intelligence and hilariousness- but especially niceness- that seems to exist amoungst the writers and community of this site, and more tangibly here than anywhere else on the internet and many many places in real life too (and also thus, A-Camp would be and obviously was seriously just that fucking good!). Yes.
I wrote and rewrote this comment several times and I couldn’t get what I want to say exactly right, but I guess I’m kind of jealous I wasn’t there and kind of jealous that there’s no way in hell I can make the next two either, but I’m also so full of love right now for everyone, even though I’ve never met any of you. I guess the love everyone has for each other is just kind of infectious. I love your love.
“I guess the love everyone has for each other is just kind of infectious. I love your love.” – Exactly how I feel too.
You’re all amazing. And so good looking. How are you all this good looking? I’m pretty sure that ‘people from the internet’ aren’t meant to be this good looking. But there you all are.
Anyway, I have a question. Would I be a douche if I bought a ticket not knowing whether I’d be able to make it or not? I’d give it to someone else if I couldn’t. My job is sort of ‘interesting’ and maybe I could go in September but maybe also not. I want to go so badly, but I also don’t want to be a dick to my fellow straddlers. Is buying a ticket under these circumstances a dick move?
um, that’s what I’m going to do. If you can’t make it I’m sure they will be able to transfer your place to someone else (until a certain point before the camp).
I’m not even sure where I’ll be living in September but I don’t want to miss Camp!
the $50 registration deposits are non-refundable, but if you end up needing to cancel, then all you have to do is cancel! and the next person on the waitlist will be contacted about a spot opening up and they will be given the opportunity to register if they still want to. after a certain date however there would be no refunds of any part of your tuition nor would we be able to bring in anyone new on the waitlist.
awesome Riese, thanks for the info.
that works for great for me, and if it didn’t work out the $50 would just be like a donation to autostraddle which i’d be happy to make anyhow.
I swear, if it takes all my savings from the last 5, and next 2 years, I will go to a-camp one year. It just sounds so fucking magical.
Just a quick note to say thank you. Thank you for everything you do, for inspiring, for creating, for making yourself vulnerable, and for being. I was thinking the other day, that so many people have so many great ideas but so few people act on them. I would have LOVED something like this when I was coming out.
I write a weekly list of events in NYC to help create a sense of community. If anyone wants to be on it, please email me at [email protected]. Just a few weeks ago, my gf and I met a girl who went to cubby hole alone for the first time.. We helped introduce her to some people. She’s a brave one. I know how hard it is to come out. I created different lesbian events/groups to give girls a chance to meet other women.. anyways, THANK YOU Autostraddle for helping create a community… thank you !!:)
IS IT MONDAY MAY 21st YET?!?!?!
IS IT SEPTEMBER 12 YET?!?!?!
You and I could just go wait at the airport now. It’d be just like old times!
My birthday is on the 23rd so it could be argued that A-Camp 2.0 is a totally reasonable birthday present to myself, yes?
yes, of course.
I cried a little while reading this post and I never even got to go! However, come hell or high water I’m GOING to A-camp 2.0 and crying over it ending in PERSON dammit!!
This is also my very first comment after over a year of lurking! :D …I think I’m going through something here guys.
It makes me a little sad that being 18, about to start uni in October and living in the UK means I more than likely wont ever make it to camp, but honestly even the re-caps have been special.
This happened to me when I was 18 with the buffy.com meet ups (too young, too poor, too far away). It really sucks if you can’t make it to A-Camp just now but know that some day there will be something else you love with all your heart, and you will be old enough and financially stable enough to go this time, and it will feel so so much more amazing because you know how valuable it is. (This is the reason I will be roughly comatose with joy if I get a place on Monday. It is worth waiting for.)
Never say never! University is about to open up a million new possibilities! x
Even though I didn’t go to camp, reading these recaps has made me so happy for everyone that went and I think it’s really nice for that everyone is able to share these experiences with the ones who couldn’t go.
These recaps are amazing. I dont think Ill have the vacation time for camp in September, so sad :[
P.S. I lost track of the number of undercuts I saw in all these pictures, so awesome. Lookin’ fierce ladies!
not to split hairs but Robin took the cabernet; she refused the merlot.
<3 I have so much love for this.
like this much…
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 x 100,000,000.
I didn’t get to go to A Camp… Unfortunately. I’m hoping to go to one ASAP and school everyone in basketball. It looked awesome.
Start altitude training now!
This for reals! I usually run 3-5 miles 4X a week. First day on that mountain, I hit the 2 mile mark and laid down on the trail and cried before crawling back to my cabin.
Ok guys so I gave a presentation today at a symposium, and they announced the top 3 presenters and I was in the top 3, and then they said that they only had a prize for number 1 and it was $500 and it was not me, sadly.
And now is the point when I realized I COULD HAVE USED THAT MONEY FOR A CAMP. WHICH MEANS I SHOULD HAVE PRACTICED MORE CAUSE THAT PRESENTATION WAS HALF PULLED OUT OF MY ASS.
Moral of the story, don’t halfass your shit, people.
aww you’ll find a way!
I like you already.
A few of my comments from the post-camp survey are on here, which makes me super happy. But also reading through them all I was like “wait, did I write this? did I write that? did I write all of this? none of this?” we are all such kindred spirits!! And it’s not an accident.
they used one of my comments from the survey too, which gives me warm fuzzies.
at AC v2.0 you should have a scheduled “saying goodbye to the new loves of your life” hour or two
even though i spent the entire last day sitting around doing nothing, i didn’t feel like i got to adequately say goodbye to anyone
and im not really one for crying but when gabby said “momma luvs yew” as she powerwalked the wrong way up the board walk i almost cried a lil bit
MONDAY AKA REGISTRATION DAY CAN’T COME SOON ENOUGH.
I’m already shaking with nervousness to register! Alarm on phone set!
I don’t care where I am or what situation I’m in come September, I am so absolutely going to A-camp in September. Plus for some reason, I feel like going on a hellishly long train ride down would be kind of fun, even though I know I’d probably just end up bored after around 3 hours. Still, though! A-camp!
Thank you for writing these recaps. I laughed a lot, I almost cried, I felt warm and fuzzy inside… and I got even more super excited to attend, even if it’s not for a few years. But I have confidence that this ‘first A-Camp magic’ will translate into ‘ongoing A-Camp’ magic which shall ensure Camp is still running by the time my funds are together. I’m more worried about not getting a spot.. I gotta get that shit on lock!
The posts have been beautiful though, thanks. :)
Ps. Also, I’m not going to lie.. I had many reasons to read le recaps, but one of them was so that I could finally see a close-up photo of Hot Laura. And can I just say that the embroidery photo- yes, the one with the subtle concentration grimace- is totally adorable. Also, Hot Laura is indeed hot. The end.
Reading about all of your camp feelings makes me want so badly to have those feelings. And I sort of lurk here mostly and I don’t know any of you, but a day will come when I can come to A-Camp.
oh it hurts my little heart to know i wasn’t there but i’m happy you all went and acted like real people and made it out alive. someday i’ll go but probably not because economy. :(
I haven’t even written my thank you note and we are starting all over again/making plans for Sep!
But I love you all, whether or not I am physically present at AM come the Fall.
I just wanted to add that I feel that these super duper awesome sew-on ‘Queer Scout’ badges seem relevant to A-Camp and therefore our general interests:
http://www.justseeds.org/mary_tremonte/11queerpatchoff.html
I saw someone walking down Piedmont Ave in Oakland like 2 days ago in an A Camp shirt…..not like I was insanely jealous or anything