The Reading
Featuring: Riese, Carmen, Laneia, Rachel, Crystal, Lizz R., Hansen, Ali, Cara, Somer & Vanessa
Rachel: Even though I had been shown a schedule before I had even shown up at camp, for some reason I was totally unprepared for the Staff Reading when it happened, which was maybe for the best, because it gave me less time to freak out. In the end, the reading became one of my favorite parts of camp just because I got to sit and listen to so many amazing things — I’m constantly in awe of my coworkers and their talents, and I’m so glad I get a time and place to just sit and marvel at them, and also obviously cry like a child.
Riese: I’d set aside a few hours each day the week before camp to work on a piece for the reading — not anticipating a series of last-minute camp-related emergencies that gobbled up those hours with alarming consistency, leaving me totally unprepared for the one activity that I should’ve been completely prepared for!
(photo by ariel)
Carmen: All I know about the reading is that going first is terrifying. I can never gauge how it’s going, but the audience’s simultaneous cooing and laughing and sniffling told me it was going well. I read excerpts about Geneva, perfect human and my person, at the reading – and even though I thought they were sickeningly self-indulgent positive rays of sunshine, people seemed to really like them! The peak of this year’s reading was twofold: there was a moment right after where Brittani indicated I’d “made her tear up,” and then Stef fell on a piano. Both symbolize how my heart felt up there.
Riese: I got to learn so much about everybody’s relationships this time! Seriously, it was awesome.
(photo by ariel)
Riese: For Autostraddle, Hansen is usually telling you how to make things or listen to things, but rarely do I get to hear her read about her own self, so that was awesome, especially ’cause she read about going to doctors who couldn’t fix things or explain things, a feeling I can totally relate to.
Hansen: I was really happy that my piece was pre-butt plug twin stories because I definitely couldn’t get over how funny they were.
(photo by ariel)
Ali, Wildcats Counselor & Geekery Editor: The flow at this reading was impeccable. Everything was just so well-balanced, we all magically selected pieces that complimented other pieces and they magically wound up in an order that was perfect. Well, not entirely magically. Lizz and I told Riese to put us one after the other due to the remarkably similar subject matter we’d chosen to present. I read a selection from a larger piece of fiction and – well – you know what Lizz read. Lizz did Lizz. And it may have been the hardest I’ve ever laughed.
Laneia: I can’t believe we had more than one hilarious butt plug story! Talk about an embarrassment of riches you guys.
Carly: The staff reading gave us Anal Rubin, and for that we are forever grateful.
Riese: I’ll never forget Lizz saying “if you’re the type of person who gets turned on just thinking about the fact that you have an asshole…”
Stef: The first few pieces talked a lot about butt plugs and we had a lot of laughs, but then things got very serious.
Donna: I thought the readings would be light-hearted and fun, but oh it was so much more. Every reading was perfect. Perfect length, perfect sentiment, perfect picture painted in our imaginations, perfect ordering. I definitely enjoyed seeing my wife, Somer, stagger onstage to ghost-read some of Cee’s haikus.
(photo by ariel)
Somer, Nighthawks Counselor/The Talent: The highlight for me – surprisingly – wasn’t my drunken rendition of Cee’s haikus, which I fortunately/unfortunately read after playing the “Butt Plug” drinking game. It was Crystal Silvester’s piece about The Cheesecake Factory. It was perfect.
Riese: In typical self-deprecating Crystal fashion, a few weeks before camp Crystal showed me her draft for the reading and was like, “please please please be real with me on whether this is just really weird and i’m gonna totally embarrass myself, don’t worry about hurting my feelings, i will appreciate your honesty.” Obvs it was kickass! As an editor, I love hearing things at the readings that I’ve seen an earlier draft of, like Vanessa’s last time and Crystal’s this time, it fills me with so much pride and happiness.
Stef: If you know Crystal, you must know that she is fascinated by some very strange aspects of American culture, namely Hot Topic and the Cheesecake Factory. When she told me she was going to read a piece about her experiences at the Cheesecake Factory, I expected it to be a wry, amusing account of her visits to America. Instead, the entire room ended up weeping… I know she was really nervous to get up there and read, but I was so proud of her. Girl, you brought the house down… The lodge? You brought the lodge down.
Bren, Bangles Counselor & Editorial Assistant: When you’re around the Autostraddle world a while you hear things…bits of information hinting at a deeper meaning of things that have happened, of the history that Riese has shared with so many of the Autostraddle Staff. For example you hear “Crystal” and “The Cheesecake Factory” mentioned together a few times and you know that there is more to the story. Then somewhere along the line someone, possibly Laneia, says that Crystal has lots of feelings about The Cheesecake Factory and you’re curious what those feelings are. Then Crystal goes up at the Staff Reading and reads those feelings and they are all the feelings ever and there isn’t a dry eye in the house and your heart can’t take it anymore and you just want to give Crystal, this sweet perfect amazing Australian, the longest, most sincere hug that ever happened.
Somer: It embodied everything great about A-Camp through tears and joy and the relationships we cherish.
Vanessa: Crystal absolutely destroyed me.
Laneia: Sobbing. I could’ve taken about 20 minutes just to sit in that cry, it was so much.
Donna: She had the whole room of 250 queers crying what seemed to be a virtual endless river of tears. Her story, ahk, I can’t even finish typing this…. I’m crying again. Sigh, mount feelings.
The stuff of legend (via Ariel R)
Hansen: She punched us all in the feels with her gorgeous, gorgeous reading. I cried a lot. I think we all cried a lot during her piece. Universal camp bonding moment.
Ali: I am SO HAPPY she read, especially since I have reason to believe she was very nervous.
Crystal: Reading words out loud to a room full of people was a completely terrifying experience for me, my entire body was shaking and so was the podium, and that made me admire the writers who do this at every camp all the more.
Riese: Laneia and I held hands for most of it and cried. When she got to the part about that time she was in New York with Laneia, Palmer, Stef, Alex and I, and we skipped our planned outing to The Cheesecake Factory because the premiere of Twilight: Moonscape was apparently more important, we transitioned from hand-holding to hand-squeezing and near-weeping.
Carly: The staff reading always reduces me to tears. This time it was Crystal and Laneia who totally destroyed me.
Vanessa: Laneia’s journal (read in her perfect voice that I could listen to for days) made me emotional.
Laneia: I somehow convinced myself that reading excerpts from my actual journal would be a good idea — like that it wouldn’t feel like turning my naked body inside out? Yeah I don’t know where I got that from. So I read some pieces about Slade, which basically never happens because I’m overprotective and weird and never really talk about him, and it was easily the most personal thing I’ve ever shared with a roomful of people. Camp!
Ali: Duh, whenever Laneia talks about her children, I die of Happy.
(photo by ariel)
Laneia: I love how Cara’s brain works! Her poem was brilliant and I wish I had it on a piece of paper to read later/over and over.
(photo by ariel)
Riese: Vanessa was nervous that nobody would care about her angst about living in suburbia with her parents but guess who cared – EVERYBODY. Her piece was funny and full of feelings, just like Vanessa herself.
(photo by ariel)
Vanessa: This should go without saying. I’m constantly floored that I get to work with such incredible humans. Like, how did I even find a place on this staff?! It was so fun to hear Rachel read some personal creative non-fiction.
Riese: Rachel writes about her own self approximately once every billion years? So it’s a supernova every time.
(photo by ariel)
Riese: Last camp, I’d asked Vanessa what I should read and she said to read Everything You Need To Know About My Sexual Orientation But Were Afraid To Ask, but I didn’t. So this camp, I did! Of course I decided that I hated it, though, and ended up sort of smashing together a thing in three parts: the story of my mom coming out, the story of the first girl I kissed, and then a slimmed-down version of aforementioned post. I had Lizz print it out but I gave her the wrong draft, so I ended up stumbling over typos and also improv’ing some sentences here and there. I’m sorry everybody. IT KEPT ME ON MY TOES.
Vanessa: I felt extra excited by Riese’s contribution because she read it for me! It’s one of my favorite things she’s ever written, and when she asked me what she should read I requested it, and then she read it! And when I told her how pleased I was afterwards, she replied, “I know, I read it for you! You asked me to!” And guys, I just love Riese so much.
Ali: Of course, Riese. Riese, the reason we’re all here, Riese the award-winning essayist and editor, knocked it out of the park as usual.
(photo by ariel)
Sophia: The Staff Reading was such a good balance of humour and deeply heartfelt.
Ali: Of course I love every piece that was presented that night – I wish I could give you a complete blow-by-blow. It was phenomenal and I was SO HAPPY to be a part of it. I often can’t believe I get to share space/air with these amazingly talented writers and I’m so grateful that they let me stand up there with them.
Crystal: The staff reading is always my favourite thing at A-Camp. I am forever in awe of all the amazing and brave writers that we have on staff and hearing them share their work live never fails to make my heart burst, and so I felt super honoured to be sitting among them this time.
Lizz: I loved this camp’s reading! Well, I always love the staff reading. I have all these people who I email with every day — we’re so close. But hearing everyone’s readings really gets you deeper. A lot of us read things that had never been published on the website. In a lot of ways we’re moving past reading our “best” piece and towards reading journals and works in progress. It was funny, this camp’s reading was very body-focused. It seemed like everyone wanted to talk about the mind-body connection. It seems we’re all having a lot of anxiety about our bodies/health. I can’t really talk about what I read because I’d like to have a job someday, but I promise it was funny. Just believe me, okay?
Somer: The entire staff reading is always amazing, and Donna turned to me after laughing, crying, and laugh-crying, and I could tell we would come back to A-Camp every chance we would get.
Vanessa: Jane, my amazing beautiful Runagayheart camper, who approached me after the reading and hugged me and told me I remind her of a freaking DISNEY PRINCESS. Then we cried together. I’m serious. Camp is a magical place, Disney-Princess-Style (but cooler and less damsel-in-distress-like, obviously).
Riese: A camper came up to me afterwards and didn’t say anything, just hugged me, and I think we hugged for like a solid five minutes. Only at A-Camp.
Strip Spelling Bee
(photo by robin roemer)
Stef: Just before the Strip Spelling Bee, I leaned over to the sound booth and blew gently in Intern Grace’s ear. She recoiled so severely that I think I saw her soul actually leave her body.
Bren: DeAnne hosted the Strip Spelling Bee, which is exactly what you’re thinking it is. Each color team had a representative Tribute in the spelling bee and if the tribute got the word right applause all around, but if they got it wrong they had to strip. This entire scenario was demonstrated by Marni before things started. She successfully spelled “Autostraddle” and received applause. But then she misspelled the next word and was forced to strip, which she did. And each discarded item of clothing revealed more and more of…Vocabulary Bear. That’s right Marni was in a bear suit under her clothes!
Ali: I screamed myself hoarse when Marni stripped and she was wearing that bear costume. I feel like I understand Bieber Fever having seen Marni strip into a bear costume. That’s how excited I was about it.
Marni, A-Camp Co-Director & AS Contributor: A few months before camp I realized that it was really important that we get a bear costume. Finding the perfect bear costume was challenging, as bear costumes tend to cost either $50 or $500, but there isn’t too much in between. I think the one we settled on was perfect (Robin especially liked the ‘beak’ element, very bear-like). I soon discovered that putting on a bear suit is perhaps one of the most liberating acts that a person can perform. It was bigger than me, the bear was. The bear was all of us.
Bren: This is just the best part of the strip spelling bee, that people only needed to strip to their comfort level, whether that be their birthday suit or a bear suit. You do you. That’s what A-Camp is all about.
Marni: Aside from the initial ‘example strip’ in which I debuted the bear suit, my job was to provide the correct spellings of words missed by contestants and generally riff off of DeAnne (which is tough because bears can’t spell). Naturally this translated to me dancing like a lunatic bear in solidarity with the contestants each time they missed a word.
Riese: We promised no photos of the contestants, otherwise y’all could be witnessing some epic nerdy stripping action right this minute in this recamp.
Rachel: What if there were hot queers stripping in front of you, but ALSO DeAnne Smith was making jokes, and ALSO there was a dancing bear, and ALSO you learned vocabulary words? Ok, yes, that’s what I thought. On a more personal level, as the person who usually has to edit Lizz’s articles, I was deeply moved that she participated, and frankly totally floored that she spelled a word right. I’m sorry for not believing in you, Lizz.
Lizz: Normally I would never ever ever spell in public, but it was retribution to Rachel, Laneia and Riese for having to edit my terrible phonetic spelling constantly. Being able to correctly spell Chlamydial on stage was one of the best moments of my life.
Riese: I think after Lizz spelled “chlamydial” correctly I screamed “ask her to spell ‘THERE'”!!
Carly: OMG this was the most fun ever. Grace and I got to make up context sentences and we had no idea what any of the words meant. It was a complete shitshow. I really hope we do this again next time.
Robin: Contestants stripped to their comfort level while fellow campers cheered them on. I’m terrible at spelling so I was impressed by all of them!
Laneia: God the strip spelling bee gave me so many feelings in quick succession! I just kept checking in with myself: “Is this really happening? Can the world really be this grand on every level?” Yes, yes it can.
Liz C., Firestarters Counselor & AS Contributor: Sure there were boobs, but my favorite part was when Jeanie NAILED that silent G.
Sophia: It was so good and fantastic and hilarious. Especially when (the yellow team??) solidarity stripped in the back.
Kai, Wildcats Counselor & Calendar Girl: The Wildcats aka the best cabin ever always yelled our cabin cheer with the commitment of lesbians in a two-week new relationship (read: a lot). Which was the greatest always, but especially at the Strip Spelling Bee when IT WORKED. Wildcats Rep That Blue! With Your Consent, Show Us Your Boobs! Forever and ever, amen.
kai begins to strip
Ali: Is it me, or were all our Campers really bad spellers and professional strippers? How was everyone a professional stripper? Can anyone think of a better combination for a Strip Spelling Bee? I submit that no one can. And then when Kai hit that split? Dear Sweet Lesbian Jesus. And then DeAnne?! DeAnne Smith was the perfect balance of actually hosting a spelling bee and totally hilarious.
Dani RDS, Stormtroopers Counselor & Writer: It was an experience like no other. Never had learning new words and proper spelling been this fun. Every camper and staff member on that stage is a hero to me.
Riese: Our rep for the purple team, Vanessa, was fucking perfect. Guess what perfection gets you? A WIN. Yup. We won the fuck out of that Bee. As if I wasn’t already head-over-heels in love with The Runaways by that point.
DeAnne: It killed me. I was completely unprepared for the level of spelling prowess and stripping skill that would be on display. I don’t even have an adjective for how great the contestants were, but it’d be something that incorporates lovely, fantastic, and mind-blowing. I wish Vocabulary Bear could help me out here. I miss Vocabulary Bear.
Opening Night of Klub Deer
[Listen to the playlist here!]
Carmen: The opening night of Klub Deer was the most amazing turnout we’ve ever had (not counting the last two Saturday night events, which are always sold out with lines snaking around the door and not enough bouncers to keep track of everyone. Obviously.) The sheer amount of bodies in that room inspired me to do more – and thus I set off on a camp-long mission to create and expand “The Klub Deer Twerk Team.”
Kaylah: After the Twerkshop I got special recognition by Carmen, the official Klub Deer dancer, and was given stage access.
Kai: The Twerkshop dancers made their debut at Klub Deer, and it was the perfect amount of bootyliciousness. FYI that is now my routine at every club from now until I can’t anymore. Props to everyone that figuratively held a piece of chalk with their butt cheeks and drew circles on the blackboard behind them. Go forth and twerk.
Kaylah: Klub Deer was the wildest I’d ever seen it. I was in a sea of sweaty bodies, roaming hands, tied tongues and swiveling hips with my dancing cabin mates around me for support. I even think there was some clothing lost in Klub Deer that night. Wild.
Stef: It was DJed by a mysterious guest who promoted herself as Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem but turned out to be DJ Carlytron.
Carly: I finally got to guest DJ at Klub Deer! Thank you Cee!
DJ Carlytron (via Stef)
Stef: I wore a blinking headlamp and had a glorious time dancing with all the VIPs. This was the night I discovered Senior Editor Rachel Kincaid’s secret ability to drop it real low. She and Emily Gigler were the undisputed stars of Klub Deer that evening.
Emily: Favorite moments included Carlytron’s first set, go-go dancing with Kaylah & Carmen, the twerkshop twerk team performing our routine, DJ DasGigler’s Klub Deer premier, and everyone generally going batshit buckwild.
Cara: It was the best Klub Deer I had ever been to. Maybe it was Somer giving me a frozen beer and then Donna helping me catch the foam in her hands when it exploded. Maybe it was the Matrix-level Bullet Time my brain slowed down to when DJ Carlytron played No Church in the Wild. Maybe everyone was just celebrating life like there was no tomorrow after Crystal diced and deep-fried all our hearts at the staff reading. Whatever it was, it was magic.
Riese: I didn’t even have to go to Klub Deer to experience Klub Deer because THE MUSIC WAS SO FUCKING LOUD, I slept with my earbuds in like an old lady wedded to a vocabulary bear.
Later that night
Somer: It’s 3am. You’re in a cabin on a mountain top full of queers. It’s cold but you’re huddled up with your wife to share body heat. The last echoes of Club Deer have died down. You’re dreaming of re-enacting tricks from the Kink Panel / Ropes course you attended earlier in the day.
And suddenly:
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHO OR WHAT THE FUCK IS POUNDING ON YOUR WINDOW ON THE MOUNTAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS AND ARE YOU GOING TO DIE HERE?!
Is it a bear? Is it a drunk camper? Is it an impending alien abduction?
Oh… it’s just Deanne Smith and her girlfriend.
Yeah, Deanne Smith was at A-Camp, and she made us laugh and she tried to slap our vulvas. But Donna & I got to share a bathroom with Deanne and unfortunately we locked her out in the middle of the night. She tried to wake us up pleasantly, reading sonnets from just outside our window, singing 80s love ballads, and leaving lipstick marks on the chilly panes. When that didn’t work, she just banged our door the FUCK down.
Sorry we locked you out, Deanne. But you are awesome. We less than 3 you all the live long night.
…and she will have her way.
Tune in next time for Friday, THE DAY OF THE GRAND CARNIVAL! What are your favorite memories from Day Two of A-Camp: Epic Version?
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YAY!!!!!!! Recamps are the best!
i think this is my favorite of all the recamps we’ve ever published, and i don’t even know how that is possible to quantify because they’re all amazing, but this just feels so cohesive and like i can hear us just sitting around chatting and having a conversation about it? this mimics actual camp 4.0 in that it is sort of smooth and effortless looking, and even though i know SO MUCH WORK went into making it a thing, i’m not frazzled or dying at the end of it, i’m just really happy and having so much fun and it feels like everything is right in the world (in this metaphor we have to pretend that i didn’t come home from camp with the flu that lasted for 2 solid weeks, but we can all pretend for the sake of a metaphor, right?).
also maybe i am just vain and enjoy how prominently i am featured in this recamp. every time riese talks about me i blush really hard you guys, did you know that? it’s true. now you know.
ps i am still trulymadlydeeply in love with all of you, ESPECIALLY those of you who attended the queerituality panel and put up with my nervous moderating and ESPECIALLY jane, who let me reiterate, TOLD ME I REMIND HER OF A DISNEY PRINCESS.
okay that’s all for now. i’ll probably be back later with more feelings, duh.
good lord, i could not be prouder to be community editor of such a perfect fucking community. <3
well and this is the day we got engaged so that factors into the favoritism, I’m hoping.
Vanessa, it’s taken me the better part of an hour to digest this page and barely reach your commentary on the Staff Reading, but I just lost it when I got to what you said and when I skipped down to the comments you’re there too.
Even my feelings have grown their own feelings right now, and I’ll be back once I’ve processed them. I can’t even begin to express how grateful/loved I feel because I met you and because this site exists.
Maybe I got dehydrated from all the crying I did this day (Queerituality AND Crystal’s reading, are you kidding me?) and thaaaaat’s how I got so drunk on Jen’s honey whiskey. I’m going to go with that.
Blame it on the a,a-a-a,a-altitude
Oh, that’s what happened.
i’m not a pusher, you were just dehydrated. facts.
a pusher? like a drug pusher?
put it all in the burn book, honey
apparently now i’m on crack
The Staff Readings were one of favorite parts about camp! Liz was hilarious and Crystal had me sobbing. And Vanessa I definitely identified with your reading about having to go live with your parents in suburbia, because I am in a similar situation!
Also, strip spelling bee was amazzzzzzing.
As one of the solidarity strippers, I feel like I need to apologize to Crystal for telling her how amazing her reading was when I wasn’t wearing a shirt.
So, Crystal, your reading was perfect.
<3
i didn't mind, really
somer’s photoshop skills are really second to none.
I feel all my years of training & practice were just leading up to THIS ACamp.
yeah this is A+ work seriously
Deanne and Bear trying to get into the cabin with lil bub on the wall just made me snort out loud.
I had to steal it and make it my cover photo on FB! HAHAHA.
(snow camp forever!!!)
OMG this day was a lot of fun! I woke up after getting about 3 hours of sleep because due to the wild events of the night prior (snow.strugglebus.snow)Klub Deer was cancelled and my cabin started a game of spin the bottle in Deer that would eventually travel to Wolf and Eagle. (seriously I madeout in every lodge)and that lasted until maybe 5am. It was cold, we were bored and drunk, we wish you were there!also STORMCATS!!!
Dani was on the rescue mission during cabin initiation so we all got to meet them and the remaining members of our love nest at breakfast.
I have been to camp three times now and never got to make a thing. Getting to sit still in a sewing circle and focus on something pratical for probably the first time all year while giggling about maybe hoarding the scissors and sharing needles was too much fun.
I missed music trivia for feelings, but I think I came back from camp as less of an asshole. I went to see Kaylah at twerkshop and she confirmed that when I wiggle my ass something does in fact happen back there. I was really excited that Carly came to Klub Deer and if memory serves this was also the night Carmen helped “lanie lohan” back to her cabin before sunrise :) best night ever!!
I still love everything about the STMC badge you made me <3
AND because I slept through breakfast everyday, I didn't know we did a love thing, but it's okay because I feel like I have met you all now.
the reading, ropes course. so good.
Guys. I’ve been hitting refresh on the site all day waiting for Installment Two. Now I’m sad that it’s over and hitting refresh again for the 24 hours. Seriously, ACamp is the greatest thing ever. Staff Reading is the greatest-est thing ever. Club Deer / DJ Carlytron / sweaty gyrating queers / exploding beers… I can’t even.
Reliving it all is fun, too. #YAYCamp
I LOVE ACAMP AND ALL YOU PEOPLE!
Dear Somer and Donna,
I’m sorry my feelings about not being able to brush my teeth or wear my mouth guard overnight manifested in me attempting to BREAK DOWN YOUR CABIN WITH MY FISTS. In retrospect, maybe I could have journaled about it. I think the lesson here is, don’t fuck with my teeth-related anxiety.
Love,
DeAnne
Dear DeAnne Smith, Revered Purveyor of Laughs on Queer Mountain,
My wife and I readily accept part of the blame you so freely attribute to your dental hygiene and / or fists. After all, why did we feel the need to lock the door in the first place?! We share our feelings openly – shouldn’t we be able to share our bathroom time with you as well?
I propose an Open Bathroom Door Policy for all future ACamps. You know what Mama always said: the cabinmates that pee together, stay together.
Love and feelings,
Somer & Donna
UM UM I FOUND THE THING LIZZ READ THE NEXT DAY AT BREAKFAST!
Because Camp found me ANOTHER ALASKAN!!(THIS IS THE SECOND TIME!!) to hang out with, my contribution to the gender panel was a committee affair.
I am still so in love with how DeAnne had to remind us that we were supposed to all be hoping the campers would misspell words! We obvs still wanted them to strip, but we wanted them to beat the REAL ENGLISH WORDS also!
Your committee contribution to gender panel was one of my highlights of camp! I think about it whenever I see practical haircuts around town, which is often.
aw man vanessa was supposed to cut that up and leave it in random people’s pigeonholes!!!
Omg. That image of DeAnne. With the bear. I can’t I cannot. Even.
every camp after the staff reading i’m completely shitfaced from crying out all the fluids in my body that aren’t bourbon and i get the bright idea in my head that i need to congratulate and hug all the humans immediately, and this was finally the year that i tripped over a guitar case and fell onto a piano, splitting my chin open and probably looking very graceful. mahalo.
i was drunk and cold and put the bearsuit on over my clothes and walked around telling everybody i loved them, i think
I have you done of my bourbon and was honored that I shared that solo cup with you because you were on FIYAH that night
i thought you were beautiful splayed across the side of that piano
i love you.
This is the night I lost my voice because Crystal made me sob and then I spent a solid hour screaming during the strip spelling bee. Talk about an emotional roller coaster.
Someone please take me back to camp immediately.
The first day of camp was beginning of the best thing in my life! I am so thankful for camp existing!
What I should have said is: As Tiny Pineapple said “this is the best day ever” and “I feel okay telling you this I’ve never been so happy in my life”.
The first day of every camp is always the beginning of the best thing in my life, every.single.time.
Yes, the Yellow Team indeed stripped in solidarity, thus winning the Rainbow Wars once again.
And I seriously loved the readings. Is there a way to listen to them again? So much love! So many tears! Happy tears! All the tears!
IMPUNITY IS TOTALLY A WORD. It’s just not the same as “impugn”
Whew. I’ve been carrying that around for a while. Also, I agree with Donna.
Reading this made me feel like I was *almost* right back at camp and so I’m back to thinking everyone around me is queer and just absolutely totally appreciating other people’s awesome
I’m still sooo upset that I missed the majority of the staff readings! Esp Ali, Anal Rubin, and Crystals readings. Besides the butt plug review, will any of the other stories be posted on the site?
I really loved the introvert panel. My favorite was the game where we had to step forward and backward to go along with our answers. It’s incredible to see so many other people who feel exactly like you do.
Also, I’m really glad a fellow camper talked me into going to the kink workshop. I was too shy to actually participate in the hands on fun, but I learned a lot and you guys are all so amazing.
Is it time to go back on the mountain yet?
That picture of all the pretty rope gave me a lady boner.
The Staff Reading was one of the things I was looking forward to the most. Sure, we all read what they write through a computer screen each and every week, but to actually get to see and hear them read/spill their guts was an incredible experience. Thank you!
marni as a bear might be my favorite thing that has ever happened.
crystal’s reading, too – god, where do i even start? out of all of the magical and amazing things that camp has brought into my life, getting to have crystal be my real life friend might be the best thing of them all. and hearing her open up and read that story just completely gutted me. she’s the best.
I might have been waiting my whole life to go to Nerdcraft. Like ever since Nerdcraft was a thing.
Also, whichever human decided to put Nerdcraft in the same room that the BDSM workshop was in so that no one would have to move is a very brilliant human.
This was a magical day at camp. I learned so much all of the panels, and just loved hearing everyone’s (campers’ and staff’s) stories.
The readings were the perfect combination of hilarious and heart-wrenching.
Strip spelling bee and vocabulary bear, OMG. So much fun. (Also, for anyone in Toronto/Montreal/sometimes other Canadian cities, an events production company thingy called Chat Perdu Productions hosts them monthly and they are quite delightful.)
Also I would just like to say that the red team was very much also stripping in solidarity!!
Just when I think Somer & Donna cannot get any more awesome and adorable…
ACAMP IS PERFECT
Just a request: next time, could we have more actual trans people on the Gender Panel? I kind of felt like Mey was a token amidst a bunch of cis women and one or two A.F.A.B. genderqueers. The gender panel was actually the only time I felt uncomfortable as a trans woman at camp, when one of the (cis) panelists used the T-word (she later apologized, but it was still triggering to have that happen at the gender panel of all places).
I agree, I also wished there was more varied trans* representation.
Noted! And YES! And I’m sorry you felt that way. Truly.
We have used mostly Autostraddle staff writers and editors in the past as our A-Camp staff, but we are doing MORE to open up staff positions, special guests positions and camper contributions (which we always encourage) in order to fix problems like this. We want everyone to feel represented and safe. I appreciate you being candid about your experience.
I’d be open to speaking on the gender panel. I also had an idea for a workshop specifically focusing on healing the divide between trans and cis women.
Hi, I’m not sure if you meant it this way, but the phrase “actual trans* people” was a bit upsetting to me, especially in reference to those who identify as genderqueer. Many people who identify “genderqueer” also identify with the term trans*, and those trans* identified individuals who choose not to/are unable to/simply don’t identify with or present as either of the two binary genders are often left out of trans* narratives and spaces… And, in general, made to feel like they are not “actually” anything.
I just wanted to throw that out there. Okay. Sorry. Carry on.
SO MUCH happened in day one. AND OH GOD THE READINGS. I was a puddle of mess by the end. So many feelings in like 90 minutes. I reallllllly miss camp oh my god please can it be may?? I need mount feels again.
Also,a camp is so perfect. Literally the most perfect thing on the planet.
AND THE SPELLING BEE!! I STILL HAVE DAYDRAMS ABOUT IT (no, but I’ll literally randomly remember someone step ping in the middle of my shift at work and it makes me really happy)
THE STAFF READINGS.
I don’t know how to find words other than those. But yeah. If I could fill a jar with my tears…
But also, watching all of the staff react to the readings. Ali’s snort laugh is actually the cutest.
PS Recamps are my favourite because I can hear all of your voices as I read them!
YES aside from feelings THIS IS THE BEST PART ABOUT RECAMPS
Gah, I loved everything about camp, but I think this was my favorite day (I might take that back later when I read more recamps, don’t judge me.) I went to the introvert discussion and it was nice to see so many people who just UNDERSTAND. I was so inspired, I spent the second half of the morning alone in my cabin, eating jelly beans (thanks Andrea!) and playing my guitar.
Oh, then Queertuality panel! And I got to hug Hansen and then built courage to say words in front of people (gasp!) and shared my feelings. Of course, that meant I missed the kink panel, which caused a bunch of inner turmoil but I lived I guess. (So according to that venn diagram, I am Vanessa? In that case, I love me…I mean you…is that weird? yeah, probably.)
Staff readings. OMG. I went through phases of laughing, crying, smiling, nodding furiously in agreement, and clapping my hands till they were numb. All those things. And it never felt more natural.
I did so much screaming at the strip spelling bee, I’m surprised I didn’t lose my voice. I need more strip spelling bees in my life, for the new vocabulary words of course.
This was definitely the most intense (the good kind of intense) day for me, with the introvert meet-up, the mental illness panel, the gender panel, and the staff reading. So this recamp, just… wow. So many refeelings all at once.
REFEELINGS. MAKE IT A THING.
I’m going back home for Thanksgiving break in a week and a half, but going to A-Camp was a whole lot more like going home than going back to my parents’ houses ever will.
Omg, the readings were everything I wanted to get out of camp. I was so affected by everyone’s stories (particularly Crystal and Riese) that I skipped out on the strip spelling bee to process my feelings by the campfire and later to journal in my bunk. But with all the recapping, I feel like I got to experience it anyways, yay recaps! Getting all my feelings out that first night was totally worth it though because after that I was just ready to have some fun and enjoy the rest of camp.
Cheesecake and my feelings will never be the same again.
Ali and Lizz back to back readings are in my top ten funniest moments of all time.
Hi. Just stopping in to say I love you guys. And A-Camp. I love your comments!
omfg, that silent g.
But i had to go ahead and ruin it all with the “e” at the end. What was I thinking? Impugne. That’s not even a thing.
omg. Cheesecake Factory. Crystal. Hansen. Dani. Liz shooting red wine into my mouth. All so good. so so so good.
I know this is supposed to make me happy but I’ve ended up feeling quite sad that I’ve missed out on all the feelings and love.
Old life goal: make out with Tucky Williams
New life goal: attend a-camp…with Tucky Williams ;)
“It’s nice to have a chance to bring people together, and then to keep them together with bondage rope.”
Delightful.
Thanks for all the photos of my adjusting the mic, Taylor really needs to get that Tumblr up and running already.
Also I love everyone. <3
Thank you for the Queerituality panel. Vanessa you were a fantastic host. It helped a lot to see so many others’ experience with religion and family. It made me feel understood.
Thank you Riese. Thank you for everything, for having the vision of camp, for the introvert friendliness, and most of all for the most understanding hug I’ve ever gotten from anyone.
Just Thank You.