This week we’re rolling out a new addition to the comment awards: ASS Group of the Week. We’ll get to that in a mo, but right now let’s see what happened this week. Deanne Smith hated on the beach, Sarah is dating again, and Alice made a playlist for you. Riese (beautifully) discussed her sexuality and Chloe interviewed Mary Gray, the author of a book about growing up queer in rural America.
…and now the Group of the Week:
um. uh. wait. ok. wait. what was the question? ok. um. yeah. wait. what?
We’re starting off the Group of the Week feature with yodelmachine’s group, the name of which appears to have been taken directly from every conversation I (Brianna) have ever had in my life. It’s clearly therapy for awkward people which – admit it – includes you. Go. Join. And TALK! Talk about those awkward moments in your life, like that time you tripped while walking up a flight of stairs, or that one time you had to look at explicit pictures with your boss. #truestory #awkward
On Sunday Funday Is On The Edge Of Glory With Adam Lambert For Memorial Day:
The Feelings Award to kat: 
On NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Wants You To Back That Ass Up:
The Here’s Your Second Chance to Make this Joke Award to karmaluna:
“Wow… I should be embarrassed to say that I’ve been staring at that cover for the last 5 minutes. But I’m not. Also embarrassed has the word ass in it. I think that’s relevant somehow.”
On Riese’s Team Pick: Kids React:
The Award for Colorful Alternatives to the Popemobile Award to TSwizzle:
“If you were the President, how would you handle terrorism?”
“I would buy a yellow canoe. It’s my favourite colour”.
Thank God I’m not allowed to vote in American elections, coz that girl would be getting my vote. Fuck yeah, yellow canoes.”
On DeAnne Smith and the Truth About the Beach:
The It’s Better Than “Russell the love muscle” Award to scattered:
“the clarification was a good call, but too late to prevent “dirty banana” becoming my new favorite slang for penis.”
On Illinois Civil Unions Begin, There Is Much Rejoicing (Mostly):
The Touché Award to kd15:
On Annika’s Team Pick: Blik Out Your Wall:
The I Think She’s a Verse In Leviticus About Stickers Award to Emy’s Parents:
“If I didn’t have ridiculously strict parents who’s hatreds include (but are not limited to) homosexuality and adhesives then, I’d buy some of these alas I am unable.”
On Why Are We Still Expecting Rich Corporations to Like Gays More Than Money?:
The Nickelodeon Award to Jules:
“You guys, this UO thing reminds me of that episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? where the kids find a magical factory filled with free toys and games but then they find out that the factory is *evil* and run by sinister aliens with *no faces.*”
Kat is like the Michael Jordan of comment awards.
I agree with this statement.
So true.
I don’t know what’s going on, but teracottatoes = the entire globe trotters.
lol wat
Completley. Air Kat are the new trainers I will be wearing henceforth.
These shoes would make so so uncoordinated it wouldn’t even be entertaining.
If they gave you my athletic skills, that is. If they gave you my comedic skills, only lesbians on the internet would think you were funny, and everybody you knew for reals would just stare at you strangely as if you had offended them when you made a joke.
Either way, this came up on my google image search for that term.
Ugh poop on a stick. It won’t let me open it! But that’s something I can’t totally identify with. I’m already pretty much like that so it works out lol. I have absolutely no filter and I am a bit obnoxious and have ADD. I believe I have what the French say “I don’t know what” so air kat could not do me any worse ;) Haha
Carmen, I just wanted to let you know that now that I have found you, ugh finally, that your the reason I realized I was queer and started my obsession with finding women. Women who like to travel. And wear bad ass hats. Thank you for my ehem um interesting childhood. -Kerlia
my pleasure, Kerlia. I’d tell you the address where you can send the toaster oven to but I don’t want people knowing where I am. I’m sure you’ll understand
It was a breadmaker. But I understand. Once I start sending small appliances then everyone will be sending them and then you have packed countertops and the mystery is gone. I’ll just wait and dream I suppose…
My bread-maker is a huge appliance, I’d like one of your small bread-making appliances please. I’ll put on a fedora and hide behind the couch while you deliver it, so you can pretend that I’m Carmen SanDiego.
Hahahahahaha eh I’m up for a little roll play. Why not? Haha
‘Role’ play or ‘roll’ play? Either way, that sounds relevant to my interests.
Hahahaha Role haha but roll works too. XD
I’d like to say that my parents are proud/pleased to receive this award, but…they hate you all…so…yeah
OMG. I suddenly feel like a real person… And like the many hours I spent watching Nickelodeon while my homework grew moldy on my desk have been validated. Thank you AS.
Haha I loved your comment. Hysterical.
Oh cool I got a comment award! Was not expecting that. I would like to thank Autostraddle and my love of ass for making that comment possible.
my little group is all grown up and getting friday awards all of its own, sniff
And it’s just like “Oh, um…well. What the fuck. NO SHIT NO not ‘what the fuck’ to you, but I got an award, and that never happens, and…shit.”
I just want to say that ASS is the best acronym ever and I’m glad Autostraddle is the one using it.