Happy holidays and good tidings to you! What is a tiding? Oh, it’s “a piece of information or news.” GOOD NEWS TO YOU. Are you prepared to spend money you really don’t have on things people really don’t need in the silent hopes of receiving something awesome that you also don’t need and aren’t going to buy for yourself? I hope so because guess what time it is….
Holiday Gift Guide time! In which we, the staff of Autostraddle, share our innermost hopes and desires via wish list, just like last year. This will probably give you some really great gift ideas of your own, so, you’re welcome. Let the unabashed consumerism begin!
(Sidenote: if you order via these links, a portion of your purchase goes to support our ongoing existence.)
Executive Editor Laneia:
Happy holidays and good tidings to you! What is a tiding? Oh, it’s “a piece of information or news.” GOOD NEWS TO YOU. Are you prepared to spend money you really don’t have on things people really don’t need in the silent hopes of receiving something awesome that you also don’t need and aren’t going to buy for yourself? I hope so because guess what time it is….
Holiday Gift Guide time! In which we, the staff of Autostraddle, share our innermost hopes and desires via wish list, just like last year. This will probably give you some really great gift ideas of your own, so, you’re welcome. Let the unabashed consumerism begin!
(Sidenote: if you order via these links, a portion of your purchase goes to support our ongoing existence.)
Executive Editor Laneia:
Tea, Totes, Nature & Fast Veganism
Loose tea is sooo much better than packaged tea in bags. Just thinking about it makes me feel superior to bagged tea drinkers. I think I’d feel even more distinguished and important if I could brew my loose tea leaves in this Bodum Kenya Tea Press. Damn. That’s fucking fancy.
I’ve wanted a foldover bag for what feels like forever but has probably only been about a year. This Lucky Brand Abbey Road Leather Foldover Tote in ‘vibrant orchid’ is more or less perfect, I think.
Apparently this book is a French classic, but of course I hadn’t heard of it until last week because that’s how I roll. Nature Stories by Jules Renard (illustrated by Pierre Bonnard & translated by Douglas Parmee) is full of poetry, short stories and ink blot illustrations (!) dealing with nature, of course, and our relationship with it. There’s a snail on the cover. I mean, I’m pretty much sold.
I’m currently experiencing an aversion to eating animals and I need some inspiration re: recipes. Appetite for Reduction: 125 Fast and Filling Low-Fat Vegan Recipes is appealing based strictly on the word ‘fast’ in the title. Usually by the time I get around to preparing something to eat, I’m already so hungry that I’m close to passing out. The fact that the recipes will also be low-fat is unimportant, but intriguing nonetheless. Isa Chandra Moskowitz seems to be a Big Deal in the vegan world (see: Rachel’s picks), so that’s exciting.
Also clearly I want what everybody wants this holiday season, which is an Autostraddle Calendar. I’d like to turn it to April and just leave it up all year.
Senior Editor Rachel:
Cooking, Cook Books and a Date Book
First of all, American Apparel Hoodie. What. I am what I am, ok?
If I had my way, I would eat brunch every meal of the day. One step at a time, with cookbooks like Isa Chandra Moskowitz’s Vegan Brunch: Homestyle Recipes Worth Waking Up For, I’m getting closer to living that dream. Other things you may find relevant to your interests: The Complete Guide to Vegan Food Substitutions! Be still, my beating stomach.
Keri Smith’s The Non-Planner Datebook: Maybe it’s pure fantasy to think that this Non-Planner Datebook will change the way I live my life, but then again I think that shared fantasy is the only reason anyone buys a datebook, so why not go for the gold. Also, it’s cute! Look how cute this is! You didn’t think books could be this cute, did you?
In the movie version of my life, I am something like a cross between Ina Garten and Tank Girl. I also have a lot more money. In this version, I have a beautiful kitchen where I keep beautiful jars of sugar and flour and such on my vast countertop, so that they are within easy reach when a professional TV crew films me making myself lunch. Also, it’s annoying to have to walk into the pantry every time I need sugar. Look how pretty this Oggi White Canister Sets!
Writer Carolyn:
Hard Drives & Other Essentials
I drop things all the time. Sometimes these things include my computer, which is why I’m paranoid about backing up. But sometimes it can be a huge pain, especially if you drop your external hard drive on the floor while trying to fit it into a suitcase, then plug it in later only to have it ignite and make your entire house smell like burnt plastic (yes, this actually happened). Not only is the LaCie Rugged All-Terrain External Hard Drive huge, it has a friendly orange shock-absorbent aesthetic that makes me think it will be hard for me to break.
I’m an English lit nerd, but for some reason I haven’t read The White Album: Essays in non-excerpted form yet and I want to. The publisher says this:
“First published in 1979, The White Album records indelibly the upheavals and aftermaths of the 1960s. Examining key events, figures, and trends of the era—including Charles Manson, the Black Panthers, and the shopping mall—through the lens of her own spiritual confusion, Joan Didion helped to define mass culture as we now understand it. Written with a commanding sureness of tone and linguistic precision, The White Album is a central text of American reportage and a classic of American autobiography.”
My current backpack is held together in places by cleverly concealed duct tape and super glue and, considering it is my laptop bag, suitcase, and grocery cart, that’s becoming a problem. This High Sierra Access Backpack is duct tape free and looks like it could do all of those things at once.
Bigelow Green Tea isn’t organic or special in any way except that it is delicious, especially if you are into tea to the point where you drink it every day, but not to the point where you want to bother with loose tea leaves or the word “organic” or anything else fancy, which is me exactly.
Associate Editor Sarah
Infinity Scarves & Modern Family Obviously
I’m really excited about Steve Martin‘s new book, An Object of Beauty. I didn’t realize he was all up in the New York art scene, but apparently it’s true. He wrote An Object of Beauty: A Novel based on a bunch of his observations about the art world. I can’t wait until I emerge from my study cave after finals so I can read this! I think it’s gonna be one of those books that simultaneously is really pretentious and really entertaining. Also, one time I saw him at Bonnaroo. He was wearing a white suit.
I realize that I am like two years late to the infinity scarf party. But now I live in a place where winter is no joke, so I’ve been thinking much more seriously about my cold-weather accessories. And this Chain Circle Loop Eternity Scarf is so pretty!
I don’t care who you are, you need the complete first season of Modern Family on DVD. I’m serious. Just buy it.
Music Editor Crystal
F-cking Rock & Roll
I can’t think of a better way to spend the holidays than watching Kristen Stewart making out with cute girls or strutting around on stage in leathers, straddling a Melody Maker in The Runaways. Also, Laneia said that the DVD commentary is “The Fucking Best Thing I’ve Ever Heard,” which is pretty serious.
Over the past few days I’ve become strangely obsessed with this idea that Jack Kerouac’s On the Road would be brilliant in audiobook format. One of my friends will likely buy this for me so that I’ll shut up about it.
Keith Richards left an impression on me when he said, “Everyone talks about rock these days; the problem is they forget about the roll.” His new autobiography, Life, will no doubt provide me with many more quotable words of wisdom, and quite possibly also the secret to immortality.
Intern Hot Laura:
Stylish College Survival
A one-year subscription to Bon Appetit would serve many purposes in my life. a) Mail to look forward to at the beginning of every month b) Something to read that isn’t for homework or on the Internet c) Food porn d) Something to cut up when I need to make projects for school because PowerPoints are for boring people business majors.
Giving someone an Electric Kettle is like giving them the gift of health. The amount of tea that ones drinks is inversely proportional to the amount of colds one catches in the winter which means I will be the picture of health and lazyness with my new easy brewing machine. If you are a friend or family member concerned about my health, you could also get me a cordless drill, as my wrists on well on their way to carpal tunnel from all the screwing* I do.
I know Converses are the co-official shoes of lesbians (the others being white sneakers), but I really think it’s time for me to move on to something new. Something that can offer me more support, make my happy and keep my ankles warm. I just don’t understand why the Nike Women’s Blazers that I like are $15 more just for being a different color. I guess that what’s you get when you buy from the man.
*Like screwing nails into walls, guys.
Style Editor Becky:
Stories, The Dance, Shoes & more…
So, I don’t really know how to make coffee. I had always been a heavy yerba mate drinker but then my mom got a Keurig Mini Brewer.
They’re awesome because they require little to no mental work on my part and the variety of little cups can make me feel like I’m making important early morning decisions that won’t actually have any negative repercussions.
Also, coffee needs to be served at least once a month with some churros. I think it’s good luck or something. Here’s a handy churro maker.
We watched this charming coming-of-age story, Duck Season ( Temporada de patos ), in one of my film classes not too long ago. Given my affinity for coming of age stories (some other favorites: Valentin, El Viaje de Carol, and Noi), I’d really like to add this one to my collection. Also, Flama and Moko are absolutely adorable.
I’m going to be doing a lot of dancing in the coming months, and in preparation for my thesis film, a lot of research pertaining to Orisha dancing. Dance literature, like Making Caribbean Dance: Continuity and Creativity in Island Cultures is always interesting, and Cuban/Santerian everything (especially the music) makes my heart melt.
Sebago makes some damn nice shoes. I would take these Oxfords in a heartbeat if they came in my size, but these Ankle Boots and these Loafers are also very nice. I need some new dressy casual shoes and these would more than handsomely fit the bill.
Tech Editor Taylor:
Major Geekery
I tried to get rid of all my things in 2009, but as it turns out, I want things again. Who knew? So here we go. Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, but looks absurdly cool. I can’t wait to terrorize rooftops as the super creepy doctor character. You know the one.
I don’t need a Kinect by any means, but by god it’s the holiday and this is my wishlist and I want one because it’s shiny and superfluous which is 100% of what I require in a gift. I can’t dance to save my life, but Dance Central could teach me the moves to win the ladies. All the ladies. And I could do it alone where no one could see, assuming I locked my girlfriend out of the living room or barricaded her in a closet or something.
And yeah, while we’re getting superfluous, I love Android and the bigger the Android, the better. How sexy is the Samsung Galaxy Tab? It’s big, shiny and full of virtual stuff, like the internet. You could like, go online on that thing.
Our universe is so fucking cool, I wish I was an astrophysicist but that sounds really hard. And I still haven’t read Cosmos, the Carl Sagan classic, but I intend to when I’m smarter. Next best thing: Cosmos: Carl Sagan (7 DVD Set).
Intern Emily:
Lesbians Love Their AA Hoodies/Poetry
For the holiday season I would really like it if someone bought me Unbearable Lightness by Portia de Rossi. Riese said it was good and also I love auto/biographies.
I would also like The Complete Poems of e.e cummings. EVERYBODY NEEDS MORE (good) POETRY IN THEIR LIVES. e.e cummings is one of my favourites. The end.
I also want this American Apparel Salt and Pepper Hoodie, xs, in “zinc”. You cannot deny the appeal of this hoodie.
Music Writer Lindsay:
So Much Misc.
It’s tough to make a living as a music writer right now, but lots of people are sure as hell trying, and quite a few of them are doing it beautifully. This year’s edition of Da Capo’s Best Music Writing includes pieces from everywhere and about everything, from Ozomatli‘s trip to Burma to the Bob Dylan Christmas album to a track review of “Empire State of Mind.” And the field of writers represented is pretty impressive, too, from the towering greats from the world of print like Robert Christgau and essayist Mary Gaitskill (whose piece in the anthology is titled ‘Lady Gaga in Hell’) to the new, web-centric faces of music criticism like Idolator’s Maura Johnston, Pitchfork Media/Vulture’s Nitsuh Abebe and Christopher Weingarten (who tweets album reviews at @1000TimesYes). Also, Autostraddle BFFAEAE Michelle Tea has a piece about The Gossip in it. As if you needed another reason.
Fred’s Port-A-Pint Folding Beer Glass is more eco-friendly than Solo cups. Classier than straight-from-the-can. Perfect for stadium smuggling.
Fred is also responsible for the Gin and Titonic Ice Cube Tray, which is probs the cutest party item that references an international tragedy ever.
I’ve been looking for a pair of low-cut boots for a while now that it’s getting to be that time of year in England where the windchill makes wearing flats pretty much impossible and my standby boots have taken a bit of a beating. I really like these Hold Em Low Boots, but haven’t had much luck finding them over here. Maybe I should try harder.
Hey, a girl can dream, right?
Senior Editor Jess R:
Celebrities Make Good Gifts
If you were even half as fascinated by the late night drama between Leno/Conan last January as I was, you need to read The War for Late Night. Bill Carter also wrote the ’94 book chronicling the first Tonight Show bitchfight between Leno and Letterman (you probably saw the HBO movie). This time around, Carter was given unprecedented access to phone conversations, texts, emails and private meetings between NBC execs, producer and countless insiders and has a way of sharing juicy stories without painting anyone as a complete saint or sinner. I really hope Tilda Swinton plays Coco when HBO inevitably makes this movie.
It’s not nearly as complex a story as Portia’s Unbearable Lightness, which was hands down my favorite book of the year, but Me by Ricky Martin is still kinda interesting, despite the third grade reading level. Look for the story Ricky tells about meeting his first love, a radio DJ, in the early 90s.
Fashion Blogger fit for a femme:
Cute & Quirky
Who doesn’t love a good watch? With personal technology telling us all of the things all the time these days, watches no longer feel like a practical essential, but something a little old-fashioned and queer. We can certainly afford to be a bit more modern in our approach, and Nixon does so wonderfully.
If the Nixon Metric doesn’t do it for you or your ladybird, I promise something else they make will, so take a look – they have hundreds to choose from on Amazon.
Nothing says I love you like an obscenely pricey, out of print, limited edition import that no reasonable, responsible adult would shell out for herself under normal circumstances. The Cure’s Lovesong – Lovebox would be my choice.
I love two-part presents! Luca Turin is recognized as one of, if not THE Patron Saint of Scent, and he’s written many books on the subject. Perfumes: The A-Z Guide is supposed to be deliciously clever and not a little snarky! I think it’s perfectly paired here with Fifi Chachnil, which is a great deal more coquettish and sexy than it looks. You can read my review of it here.
I am a big fan of the leather. We know this. When touched by the giddy hand of Betsy Johnson, it is a dreamy mix of tough-but-twee chic. Here I paired the Heart Of Gold Tab Wallet with the Black Ribbon Keychain Charm, because more is MORE! If you get someone a wallet, don’t forget to put a shiny new bill or two in it for good luck!
Practical has never been so sweet. We recently moved and while the path from driveway to front door has an outdoor light, there’s no light sensor. It got me thinking how thoughtful it would be if kind, capable queer hands took the time and care to buy and install one of these Solar Motion Lights wherever needed!
Riese
Books, Bikes and Burberry Brit
Firstly, I need a motherf*cking bicycle, ’cause I don’t live in NYC anymore and I don’t have a car and these legs were only made for walking ~5 miles a day maximum. However, I know nothing about bikes so I get overwhelmed trying to pick one. This is how I want to feel on my bike:
Secondly, I need Doris: An Anthology 1991-2001, because I like the quotes Laneia gets from it. Now that I live in (the) San Francisco (area), I should probably read Valencia by Michelle Tea (I read The Chelsea Whistle!) like everyone else already has. In related news, I ALSO haven’t read Potential: The High School Comic Chronicles of Ariel Schrag and I feel like a lot of you have.
I’ve read all the pages Google Books made available for me and now I’m ready to read the entire thing — Performing Glam Rock: Gender and Theatricality in Popular Music. In related news, I’m interested in knowing more about The Evolution of Indie Culture, Zines and the Politics of Alternative Culture and Fandom: Identities and Communities in a Mediated World.
And I asked for a bunch of books last year that nobody got for me, including Marshall McLuhan and The Cultural Resistance Reader.
I love Trivial Pursuit. I also love winning, mostly because I get bored when it’s not my turn so I like my turn to last as long as it possibly can. I feel that the Trivial Pursuit Book Lovers Edition game is the game I am most likely to win.
I have a superhuman sense of smell. I probably dunk a bottle of Burberry Brit onto my body every day to ensure I set a good example for all the bad-smelling humans, animals, restaurants, street-carts, onion-eaters and garlic-eaters out there by always smelling my best (sidenote I somehow am totally fine with the smell of cigarettes, weed and alcohol, idk). I always need more: Burberry Brit by Burberry for Women. Also imperative to constantly smelling your best is the tiny Juicy Couture Love G&P Rollerball Eau de Parfum (whatever that means), which is lip-gloss sized and good to spruce up on the go.
Intern and College Lesbianagist Lily:
Fit for a Femme For Reals
Sometimes I like to pretend that I am part of the Sedaris family. I’ve told my brother on multiple occasions that we will one day be exactly like Amy and David Sedaris except that I will be both Amy and David rolled into one awesome person and that he will sort of just be there for show. I’m sure he really appreciates my idea of our future. Until then, I’ll take David’s Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary and Amy’s Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People.
I am about to be really, really cold and I don’t own a North Face Jacket because I find them ugly and expensive. BUT they keep you so warm! So I think someone should buy one for me. My warmth is really quite important for anyone in my general vicinity—I tend to complain, loudly and frequently.
Dior DiorShow Waterproof Mascara is the best mascara in the entire world. I like to get it in waterproof because I’m a crazy emotional human being so I like to be prepared for anything that might set off my tear ducts (cute kids, a sad ad on the subway about homeless puppies, any movie about old people).
I would like one pair of Personalized Gold-Plated Bamboo Hoop Earrings that says “Lily” and one pair that says “Sexy”. That way I can interchange them depending on my mood. This would quite possibly be the most important gift that I could ever receive ever.
Tinkerbell:
what a puppy wants, what a puppy needs
Hello Autostraddle this is Tinkerbell. This year I want to donate all of my money to Autostraddle, just like last year. However as I am a dog I cannot garner employment and funds myself. However you can. In addition to being a dog, I am oppressed. I am a victim of cisgender privilege and also aristocratic privilege, class privilege, emotional privilege and also human privilege.
Furthermore, Rachel wants a hoodie and so because of peer pressure I would also like a Hoodie. THIS IS A HOODIE FOR A DOG. Some people put babies in dog things. I don’t like that. It is cheap but don’t hurt the baby.
Also I need a new collar, the 122 Swarovski crystals jewelled Python Print Leather Dog Collar will do. It’s called “The Wild Thing,” like the movie. Riese saw that movie the day she lost her virginity. She repeats things a lot.
Sometimes, I complain about things like how I can only type little words, one eye is falling out, cisgender privilege, I used to be a purse, I’m cold, bananas remind me of vomit and Riese says ‘Don’t make me pull an Old Yeller on you.’ I imagine this is a movie about an old man who yells and then becomes a princess. I’d like to watch this film just to be sure.
Merry Hannukah Autostraddle dot com.
In closing, it’s likely that what your girlfriend or friend or Mom actually wants is the queerest most sophisticated calendar of all time — The Autostraddle 2011 Calendar. It’s got gay holidays and straight holidays and 12 sexy lesbians. Buying one will help keep Autostraddle in business! You should buy two! Three! Do it now before we run out!
I flippen love my Lucky Bag !!!!!! It is amazing and so comfortable.
Amy Sedaris’ craft book is probably the funniest thing I’ve ever spent 15 minutes looking at in the Target book aisle. That’s a funny lady, right there.
And once again, I recommend, for the very enthusiastic coffee drinker in your life, the Aerobie AeroPress. It might look like a hassle to make the coffee with it but trust and believe me when I say that it make the best cup of coffee you’ll ever have.
Java-menti!
(that’s like Aguamenti but for coffee.)
(i made it up.)
i know this isn’t, uh, what this post is about, but can i just say that i watched the runaways for the first time and i did not get the kstew thing before but I GET IT NOW. oh dear jesus, do i ever get it.
jesus christ.
Hot, right? I bought the Runaways DVD on the weekend and watched it an embarrassing number of times.
Laneia was right, the commentary really is the best thing I’ve ever heard. *spoiler* At one point K-Stew yells “Get your fucking hands off her!” when some dude on screen touches Dakota and it made my homo heart swell like it has never swelled before.
I was actually kind of disappointed with the commentary. I felt like Dakota and K-Stew kept interrupting Joan over and over and it was annoying. Also, it was disappointing because I was hoping K-Stew was a total lesbian at heart, but her comments ruined what could have been believable acting. The girls were clearly not very enthusiastic (seemed almost grossed out) about their lesbian scenes together. I wanted them to be like, “Oh yeah, that was fucking hot, let’s make out right now, in fact.” High hopes, I guess. I always want everything to be more lesbianic than it is.
a) I’m wearing an American Apparel hoodie right now.
b) I used to own the Doris anthology until I let a girl borrow it. Her ferret peed on it and then she lost it.
:( i was about to talk all this shit about said girl and then i remembered that i purposely kept all the exe’s books. whoops.
“if you didn’t want me to keep all your shit, you shouldn’t have broken up with me,” that’s what i always say
yeah she cheated on me so i don’t feel too guilty and one of those books is alison bechdel’s fun home sooo….
<3 Tinkerbell~
last year I watched one episode of the carl sagan stuff every week in my astronomy course. prof was OBSESSED with that man. something about carl sagan’s sentence phrasing irritates me.
These are all really nice but. I want a pony. Period.
all i want is my tuition paid for. and maybe a date to a ball. what can i say, i’m a simple gal.
i feel like both of those things happen in one of those barbie board games from the 80’s, or maybe i am thinking of CAREERS
BUY A MOTHERF*CKING CALENDAR OR I’LL START POSTING REALLY TERRIBLE FANFIC ALL OVER THIS F*CKING WEBSITE I SWEAR TO GOD. I WILL DELETE EVERY AWESOME ARTICLE WE HAVE AND REPLACE IT WITH POORLY-WRITTEN HETEROSEXUAL FANFIC AND THEN ALL YOU’LL HAVE LEFT IS AFTERELLEN AND SHEWIRED.
Will this be fanfic written by the AS team, or merely cut ‘n pasted from elsewhere?
If the former, I’d be willing to risk not buying a calendar just to see what you all wrote.
+1
i love when laneia breaks out her angry voice
x2
OMG TERRIFYING. okay, you convinced me (and the hot, semi-nude women helped too). BUYING.
as soon as I get the money! i promise! all I want for Christmas is for AS to stay alive. well, that and world peace and stuff, but mostly the first thing.
I want KStew for christmas. But then again, two people would kill me. My bestfriend who’s madly inlove with her and my girlfriend who’s madly inlove with me.. lmfao
As a loose-tea drinker and a dorm dweller, I would NOT recommend glass tea pots to college students. They are very pretty; my mom has one and I love it, but that will be one shitty day if and when it breaks. I recommend porcelain (although I’ve already broken one of those) and even more so I’d recommend getting a cast iron tea pot.
But anywho, I love loose leaf tea! I don’t even drink it out of the bags anymore!
as I read this, I imagined myself being able to use said cast iron tea pot to hit unruly college students with. somehow, i’m thinking that wasn’t your point.
Yes, you are correct about the dorm situation. Buy this! I love mine! So much. It is best for people who love loose tea and don’t have a stove.
Adagio Teas 0 16-Ounce Ingenuitea Teapot
Emily that hoodie is actually the lesbian uniform here, srsly. If a group of gays is present, so will at least 3 of that hoodie. I feel like an imposter because I only have the poor-mans version from H&M kids.
i own ~5 of those hoodies. red, yellow, dark grey, heather blue, red/white striped. that is my life.
i own 1 and a different aa sweater that i love but i want moar
anything by Isa Chandra Moskowitz! Veganomicon changed my life for reals.
Veganomicon is like the holy grail for vegans. (check out the vegan scones!)
I love all of Isa’s books and I’m not even vegan. My copy of Vegan with a Vengeance is literally falling apart from over-use.
Since my BFF went vegan we’ve made a lot of recipes from Isa Chandra Moskovitz’s books. I largely credit them for keeping her alive (her previous cooking repertoire consisted of quesadillas and lemon cookies).
There are SO many good recipes. Mom replaced her old banana nut muffin recipe with the vegan one and as long as you don’t tell everyone they’re vegan everyone swears they are the best they’ve ever had.
Definitely recommended for veggies, vegans, and any other omnivores who aren’t afraid of cooking without meat.
i would not want to play against riese in trivial pursuit book lover’s edition. kind of like how riese kicks our butts at scattergories EVERY DAMN TIME
we played on thanksgiving and bcw and i got all the same answers, therefore cancelling each other’s points out, and HAVILAND f*cking stole the show despite never having played before and not being a “games person.” so what i’m saying is, you should play against me. haviland beat me at scattergories, you know?
I love Scattergories and I’m pretty good. Bring it!
I just thought you all should know that I’m totally buying one of those dog hoodies for my cat. If I disappear, it’s probably because she killed me in my sleep for making her wear it.
All I have to say is:
Everything should smell as good as Burberry Brit
hot laura, come on- you pound nails, you don’t screw them. don’t get screwed get hammered. try and make my puns worse, anyone, i dare you.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE IN THE WORLD WHO DRANK YERBA MATE. except for all those pretty little paraguayans i guess. i think maybe a couple other people BUT NOT MANY
is so tasty
also: zooey deschanel on a bike <3
embarassing! if i only had a drill, i wouldn’t have to write bad sentences about these things, i could just do them.
i was all like “i don’t want anything for christmas”…then a saw that tote bag. i want that tote bag.
YEAH
Sadly, that port-o-pint leaks. At least the one I have does.
maybe you aren’t drinking fast enough? just an idea. ;)
RIESE. For the love of God and all that is (un)holy, DO NOT BUY A MOTHER FUCKING SCHWINN BICYCLE. Schwinn was bought out by Pacific Bikes (like 9 years ago now) which is officially THE shoddiest manufacturing in the industry and is now carried by none other than Walmart. IT’S THE MAN’S BRAND, RIESE.
Look, I know it can be fucking intimidating out there, but I’m a bike mechanic, just come talk to me.
can you tell me what bike to get, i don’t know how/where to get one. i look on craigslist and get overwhelmed because since i don’t have a bike, i am limited in the methods by which i could go look at a bike. my friend says not to get a mountain bike. i know i don’t like the kind where you have to bend over like in the races. ideally i would like it to be not heavy. also i need a man bike b/c i am 5’10. WHAT DO I GET
i have a khs urban soul bike. it’s cheap, durable, fast, light, and ugly [but not ugly enough to be hip] so no one will steal it. it’s the bomb dot com.
MAYBE WE SHOULD DO A THING ON BICYCLES
maybe laura and [someone else] could write it.
i’d like that.
I’d like that more than cake.
Get a road bike, preferably an old aluminum frame. Then take it to your local bike kitchen and they can teach you to fix it up. Great place to meet local lesbians.
Brands: Peugot (my personal fave and super fast), trek, fuji, motobecane, bianchi
Make sure you get the right size frame (most important thing, after the color of course). You can go to an expensive bike shop and pretend you are looking to buy a new bike. They’ll help you figure out your measurements. Write them down, then tell them you’ll need some time to think. Then go buy a used bike/frame off craigslist or ebay.
YES PLEASE YES PLEASE YES PLEASE! I know a little about bikes (I built mine from the frame up) and I know some basics about some other kinds of bikes but i’m definitely no mechanic. So I’d sure be willing to help anyone out with some stuff if they were interested in doing an article at all. Just shoot me an e-mail or tumblr message if you want!
I built my first bike too! But then it got stolen. But the brakes were broken so the joke’s on them.
@ The other Laura: Yus! Best bike thief revenge! Also see http://www.maniacworld.com/missing-bike-no-reward.html for more lols. :]
for real laura can you make this ‘how to buy a bike’post happen for me, look chiara is into it
I’d love to do a thing on bicycles. SERIOUSLY.
I am mega qualified and such. Only thing… FINALS.
Let me get back to you.
Riese, email me we’ll get talking about the kind of bike that would work best for you.
“I’d love to do a thing on bicycles. SERIOUSLY.”
NGL, first thought was definitely “OMG how would that even WORK that would take such hardcore balancing skills I don’t even KNOW.”
Also how one would get “mega qualified” for such an activity. Do you work your way up? Start on an office chair with wheels, move up to a tricycle and just go from there?
Finals are clearly frying my brain.
My “mega qualifications” stem from having worked for an independent bike shop for over 2 years. Not gonna lie, it totally felt like I spent some time in the trenches. You wouldn’t think so at first, but yeah you do kind of have to “work your way up” in these things. First in the sense of earning the respect of fellow mechanics (ie, the men) so they won’t write you off as an idiot, and then in the sense of learning enough about the industry itself to be able to read between the lines of all the marketing BS and trends.
LAURA. LET’S WRITE THIS… After finals are over.
okay! email me when you’re finished! i’m laura[at]autostraddle[dot]com. or i’ll just talk to riese since maybe you emailed her.
i actually don’t think your bike is ugly.
Don’t get a mountain bike… WHAT?! I say def get a mountain bike because how else will you tackle the rugged terrains of life? Screw those hipster fixies. How am I supposed to get to where I want to be on one of those?
Also, I hear you can score hot girls if you can do a few bad ass tricks on a bmx bike to the song Send Me an Angel by Real Life: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyW9864AXVk
… so there’s always that option.
You need a hybrid. Not as heavy as a mountain bike, not as bent-over-y as a road/racing bike.
I NEED THOSE OGGI CONTAINERS.
Hey Riese, our library has that Ariel Schrag but I think I checked it out SO YOU’LL HAVE TO WAIT, BITCH #oaklandisforlesbos
BOSTON TERRIER!!!!! BOSTON TERRIER!!!!! Everyone get a Boston Terrier for Christmas!!!!!
Btw, both of my bosties have hoodies and one of them is even a Zach and Zoey! One of my boys (Bubba Ruckus) loves his and my other one (Skeeter-Binx) reacts like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rq2BSEtST5Q
Just so you know, your dogs are adorable, and they just brightened my day.
I’m glad to hear that! They brighten my entire life. :D
The thing about Boston Terrier people is that they become/are COMPLETELY OBSESSED with anything that has to do with Boston Terriers (or French Bulldogs), especially their own. It’s a thing. It’s a huge thing. We spend hours watching youtube videos of other people’s boston terriers. We frequent littlebeasts dot com for the photo of the week. We see a Boston Terrier in public and we freak the fuck out. We will stalk people with Boston Terriers for blocks just so that we can like say hi to their dog. Or maybe that’s just me. But I don’t think it is. Because when you meet another Boston lover there is this instant connection and you can talk for hours solely about these amazing creatures. And we all say the same thing, “I could never get another type of dog.” I could seriously go on for days about them. They are the BEST.
Also, Boston Terrier = major chick magnet.
I didn’t care for the Runaways…
Personally I dislike both Kristen and Dakota…
:O = all Kristen’s emotions/facial expressions.
Agreed on the facial expressions. But I did enjoy the movie… I love any women with guitars and a cheezy sense of dress (i.e. platform shoes and lots of sequins)
I have that external hard drive and it is INDESTRUCTIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m a photographer and it gets shoved in my bag and toted around daily. It gets abused yet never fails me.
Riese! You will NOT regret The Doris Anthology. It is one of the best things I have ever bought/read/owned. She is incredible!! I have read that little (not really so little) book probably 12 times. The way she writes is soothing and rational as well as intelligent and it calms me down in any time of stress to read any of her work. Also Valencia is awesome-sauce as well as anything I have ever read by Ariel Schrag! Please get those three things if anything!
you mean I will not regret SOMEONE BUYING ME THE DORIS ANTHOLOGY
Here is another snail:
that didn’t work, how about a link:
http://pixdaus.com/single.php?id=271554&from=email
i am in love with this snail and also his companion vehicle
um literally i geeked out at most of the items on this list.
i’ve always felt like a fashion/clothes outsider. i don’t wear like girlie clothes but i’m not a stone butch either.
and like when i look at my female friends and my girl cousins and see what they wear and what i’m wearing, i’m either the cool cousin or the “whats her deal” kinda chick.
anyway, yes i’ve grown into my own but chicks in magazines not only never look like me but they NEVER dress like me or accessorize or express themselves through dress the way i do.
thank you autostraddle for once again pulling me in and making me feel like i’m not a complete outcast and like i’ve got this crew of chicks feeling what i do and sharing who they are.
i am going to rock the shit out of that watch and search high and low for those kicks. thank you.
love it. love love love all of you.
thank you for making me feel not only comfortable but at peace in my own skin one article at a time.
~gabrielle
<3
that bag is sweet! If I had monies and the world also totally ask for these sexy things to keep my feet warm http://needsupply.com/womens/shoes/tundra-brown-shearling.html
I have that Lucky Brand tote in turquoise, and I get a lot of compliments on it. Albeit, generally from middle-aged women who are trying to find their daughters a “hip” (their words not mine) over the shoulder bag, not the cute queer girls that I would hope. So, I guess I am the poster child of what middle-aged women think is hip.
:(
any gift guidance on where to find ultimate dyke boots?
wow. apparently i missed the winter fashion post. never mind!
lol me too
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