This recap contains spoilers for the RuPaul’s Drag Race season 17 finale.
What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play! Through Obama’s two terms, Trump’s first, and Biden’s only, RuPaul’s Drag Race has marched on, sometimes meeting the moment and sometimes creating its own. It went from an in-community celebration to a global phenomenon as queerness, transness, and all forms of gender-noncomformity achieved increased visibility. And so here we are, during Trump’s second term, daily news stories of trans rights under attack, and yet America’s next drag superstar will still be crowned.
RuPaul has these finales down to a science — the real kind, not the RFK Jr. kind — which means a reliable structure in lieu of reality TV shocks. This is the natural endpoint, since the season three results were leaked and Ru began filming multiple endings in an attempt at control.
First, the eliminated queens make their entrances. Notable looks include another handcrafted creation from Lucky, Joella with a chic-er take on a matrress, Lana with her skin itself stoned in sparkles, and Suzie in full Little Shop garb including moving Audrey Twos that seem to have minds of their own.
Then the top four walks out. Jewels looks gorgeous in a very wide pink dress. Lexi is doing a full Victoria’s Secret angel in flowers fantasy. Onya’s structured dress is brown and gold with a honeycomb pattern. And Sam is wearing a big cowboy hat and white dress with gold fringe off her white gloves. Yeehaw.
Next up, it’s Ru’s turn to provide her annual reminder that she’s still got it — and by it I mean her own TV show where she can perform anything she wants. This year’s number has her as teacher with hot boy dancers around her wearing crop top button downs with ties and mini plaid shorts. I’m going to need to see some butches stealing this look for their Halloween costumes in six months, please.
It’s announced that this year, for the first time in Drag Race herstory, all of the queens will be singing their own vocals for their personalized numbers. Jewels goes first and I quickly realized “own vocals” is different than “singing live.” Zero judgment, if anything I was relieved because that seemed like it would be a disaster.
Jewels’ number is a super fun, super cute song about putting the Ding in Ding-a-Ling. It made me realize that Jewels has Marilyn Monroe energy — not in a cheap impersonation sort of way, but in her energy. She has the same balance of cute and hot, the same balance of ditzy and smart.
Ru asks her if she’s decided what she wants to be doing in five years, and she says she wants to be Ru. Feels like a cheap, kiss ass answer — especially because she doesn’t say which aspect of Ru’s empire she’s referring to — but, again, she’s 23, it’s okay she doesn’t have an answer. Ru then has her talk to her a younger self, a tradition I do not have the emotional capacity to engage with this year.
Next up is Lexi and thank God she’s back on roller skates. I love roller skates! Everyone is at least 10% hotter at the roller rink. (Maybe this is a result of seeing Boogie Nights at a young age.) Lexi’s entire number is about being old and I’m sorry, but it doesn’t work! The number is fine, that’s not the issue. The issue is she’s only 34!! I know it was a really young season, but Sasha Colby won two years ago. Sasha isn’t old either, but she’s older than Lexi and she won so stop pretending like you’re Lady Bunny.
During the interview portion, Lexi says she’s scissoring joy, which has me wondering if she’s now at the sapphic portion of gender transition. Ru then very pointedly says Lexi has given them permission to show a childhood photo and Lexi does the thing I’m, once again, not at liberty to engage with.
Onya’s number is next and, baby, Onya can SING. And she can lip sync to that singing! It’s a fun number where she sings, “It takes nerve.” And then I will say she does a really good job talking to her younger self, maybe because she’s very pointed in her words, rather than just being emotional.
Onya’s parents are there and her dad is teary which I found very touching. Onya’s mom then says that Onya’s drag comes entirely from her and Onya’s grandma. As Onya talks about deserving the win, Suzie Toot nods vigorously.
Sam closes out the performances with a solid number that includes one inspired moment where her dress train rolls out into a red carpet. The thing is Sam is solid. She’s always solid. And if solid is what you like in drag then I’m so happy you have Sam Star.
Xunami and Sapphira come out as the co-winners of last year’s Miss Congeniality. Sapphira makes a joke that on such a shady season no one should win and for a second I thought she was serious and they were going to make this year’s winner a fan favorite. But, no, it’s just a joke and the queens themselves are still voting. The winner? Crystal Envy! I guess she was removed from most of the drama in her handful of episodes!
The Giving Us Lifetime Achievement Award has become my favorite part of these finales and this year was especially special. Because this year the winner is Liza Minnelli! This whole tribute was so loving and showed a real care and appreciate for Liza. I love that instead of making her walk up to the stage to accept the award, they let her perform in the capacity she’s able. She’s sitting in a big throne with one leg up as hot men dance in front of her. (A window into RuPaul’s future.) Ru is really good at interviewing her and she’s still so funny and the whole thing just made me really happy. Suzie Toot was visibly emotional and so was I!
Nymphia returns as Jane Goodall to introduce a montage about what she’s been up to the past year. As one of the few people who loved her Jane Goodall Snatch Game, this delighted me. Nymphia then walks out looking gorgeous in a dress I don’t even know how to describe. She has a gold face covering? There’s structured smoke around her? She says she made it last night, reminding us why she won last season.
The top four come out dressed in their lip sync looks which means most of them look ready for reveals. Lexi, especially, looks like one of the witches from Dune. Ru announces that the top two will be Onya and Jewels! Hooray! Lexi quickly does her reveals which is a very funny little moment. Sam looks like she expected this.
Onya and Jewels will be lip syncing to “Abracadabra” and when the song was announced I let out a gay gasp. The two take very different approaches. Jewels is doing reveal after reveal going from a black and pink Carmen San Diego meets Zorro look to a sort of Frankensteined catsuit. Meanwhile, Onya dressed in red, has no tricks. She just performs.
My honest opinion is I think both queens did a good job, but neither of them was great. This was not really a season for lip syncs and this finale doesn’t change that. Again, both of them did really well! But this was far from iconic.
That said, it made me so happy to hear RuPaul announce Onya as the winner! She’s such a talent and is so deserving. Jewels is a lovely runner-up and I can’t wait to watch her on All Stars someday, but Onya’s moment is NOW.
Everything feels uncertain, everything is scary, but especially in Liza’s hands (and Bob Fosse’s) I never saw Cabaret as a story of entertainment as distraction. It’s a story of entertainment and community and partying and art as something worth holding onto until it’s snatched away.
I used to have this girlfriend known as Elsie
With whom I shared four sordid rooms in Chelsea
She wasn’t what you’d call a blushing flower
As a matter of fact, she rented by the hour
The day she died the neighbors came to snicker:
“Well, that’s what comes from too much pills and liquor”
But when I saw her laid out like a queen
She was the happiest corpse I’d ever seen
I think of Elsie to this very day
I remember how she’d turn to me and say:
“What good is sitting all alone in your room?
Come hear the music play
Life is a cabaret, old chum
Come to the cabaret!”
And as for me, ha, and as for me
I made my mind up back in Chelsea
When I go
I’m going like Elsie
Start by admitting from cradle to tomb
It isn’t that long a stay
Life is a cabaret, old chum
It’s only a cabaret, old chum
And I love a cabaret!
Teleport Us to Mars!! Here Are Some Random Thoughts:
+ Thanks for reading another year of recaps! Remember to support your local drag scene and tip generously!
+ Jewels’ look in her montage with the cone boobs really did it for me.
+ Nymphia went to Antarctica??
+ I will not be recapping All Stars, but I will be watching and if the rumored cast is correct, it’s going to be a very transsexual, very horny season.
+ I’ll leave you by, once again, sharing season 17 winner Onya Nurve singing “Maybe This Time” from the greatest musical of all time, Cabaret.
Yay Drew! Thank you for these once again! I read them after every ep.
It’s a fun number where she sings, “It takes nerve.”
Nah, it’s “It DO Take Nerve”!
“My honest opinion is I think both queens did a good job, but neither of them was great.”
Agreed. I LOL’d at the shot of Lexi after the lip sync, who appeared to be crying, and obvs thinkining “I could have done better than EITHER of those wh#res!”
It’s funny: just recently I saw the PBS “Liza” documentary (American Masters): I liked it, but was struck by how they didn’t explicitly touch on her as gay icon. Now it can be Ru-vealed: they were saving it for RPDR! 😄
Thanks for another great season Drew…
Crystal Envy did seem like an odd congeniality choice… I didn’t see it… But I heard she left loads of drag, wigs etc, for the other queens to use when she left so… That made it make sense to me.