Facial feminization surgery — or the reason For Fuck’s Sake internet slang always confuses me — is a group of procedures that counteract the masculinizing effects of testosterone puberty. Jaw contouring, nose jobs, Adam’s Apple reductions, brow bone reductions, lip filler, cheek filler, and hairline changes are among the things people get with FFS. Sometimes the results are subtle, and sometimes they’re drastic.

My first years transitioning most of the results I saw were drastic. I was impressed — and let’s be honest a little jealous — but also felt complicated about changing my face. It took years and seeing the range of results — and let’s be honest having healthcare through my job — to realize what exactly I wanted for myself. I feel really confident about my choices of procedures (sorry I’m keeping my crooked Ashkenazi nose!) and my choice in surgeon, but it does still feel very science-fiction to go to sleep with one face and wake up with another. Even if the initial change will be the swelling that will eventually subside.

Luckily, the history of cinema has provided many explorations of faces and changing faces to process these feelings. I’ve decided to rank every movie I’ve ever seen with the word “face” in the title ranked by how enjoyable they would be to watch while recovering from FFS. I know, I know, some of these movies aren’t literally about faces and other movies that don’t have face in the title are more relevant. Whatever. Ever heard of a bit?

NOTE: I have not seen any of the following movies with face in the title. Let me know if I should watch them while recovering from surgery: Angel Face (1952), Face (2009), The Face of Love (2013), False Face (1977), The Last Face (2016), The Man Without a Face (1993), Stolen Face (1952)

12. A Face in the Crowd (1957)

This is a very good movie, but I’m sorry while recovering from surgery I do not recommend watching a prescient film about an egomaniac who uses his cult of personality among the “common man” to gain power. I also don’t think anyone in that state wants to grapple with director Elia Kazan, a very bad man who alas was one of the most talented and influential directors of the 20th century.

11. Eyes Without a Face (1960)

Another good movie, this one directly about faces and surgery. There might be a fun masochism to this, but personally I think it would be tough to watch since it’s more concerned with Christiane’s father’s shame around her face than her own feelings about it.

10. A Woman’s Face (1941)

Joan Crawford is so good in this, but there are about twenty George Cukor movies that would be more fun to watch while recovering from surgery. I also don’t think it’s a great vibe while recovering — or ever! — to equate disfigurement with bad behavior.

9. Frybread Face and Me (2023)

This is a really sweet coming-of-age movie about two Navajo cousins spending a summer together. This is the true neutral of the list. It would be a totally lovely film to watch while recovering from surgery, but there’s nothing about it that makes it more appealing as opposed to watching it at any other time.

8. Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)

Being on a lot of drugs is part of the healing process and Bill and Ted are stoner icons. Is this third entry as good as the first two? No. But it does have Jack Haven and it’s nice to see a trans person on-screen while recovering from a trans-related surgery.

7. Funny Face (1957)

Kind of weird to watch old Fred Astaire woo young Audrey Hepburn — not everyone can be Bogart in Sabrina sorry! — but, I mean, it’s a Stanley Donen movie with Fred Astaire and Audrey Hepburn. How can that not feel like a balm against post-surgery pain?

6. Face to Face (1976)

This is not one of my favorite Ingmar Bergman movies/miniseries but the extended cut is nearly three hours long and while recovering from surgery you have a lot of time on your hands. Also it’s about an emotional breakdown, something many have warned me is common in the days just following FFS.

5. Baby Face (1933)

Barbara Stanwyck uses her sex appeal to destroy the lives of men and get ahead. I assume with my new face I’ll also have this power. It’s a good lesson for the newly beautiful/confident that in the end it feels better to use beauty for love instead of power.

4. The Face of Another (1966)

If you want to lean into questions of faces and identity, this is the movie to watch. It’s a challenging, at times unpleasant film, but I’d argue it’s very worth it.

3. Saving Face (2004)

Alice Wu’s first film is one of the best lesbian rom-coms of all time. If you’re someone looking for a post-surgery comfort movie, this is the one for you.

2. Face/Off (1997)

Escapist entertainment AND explorations of faces and identity? I have not seen this since I was a kid but I might just have to rewatch it myself during my recovery. Nicolas Cage and John Travolta chewing scenery as each other in a John Woo action movie is irresistible. Also Margaret Cho is in it!!

1. Smiley Face (2007)

This also topped my list of best movies to watch stoned. I think I’ll just keep putting it at the top of movie lists until every person in the world watches it. This movie hits so hard with just a little edible — I can’t even imagine how incredible it would be on pain meds.

Fingers crossed I don’t need revisions unless you want another one of these lists for the word faces. Faces (1968), Faces Places, The Two Faces of January, The Three Faces of Eve… hmm maybe I’ll do it anyway.

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