Happy Valentine’s Week to all the love birds out there! We love any excuse here at Autostraddle to put together a hyper-specific list of lesbian movies, so we’ve got watch recs for you, whether you’re celebrating solo, partnered, with your polycule, or ignoring the holiday altogether. For every Valentine’s Day vibe, I picked three sapphic films for you to choose from. Or pop on all three for a triple feature!
For the single person on Valentine’s Day who loves being single…
1. Shiva Baby // 2. Bodies Bodies Bodies // 3. Happiest Season
There’s nothing like the real-life horror of running into an ex to better remind you why you love being single, and watching how it plays out for the protagonist of Shiva Baby will certainly drive the point home! Bodies Bodies Bodies is basically a horror movie about the nightmare of integrating into your partner’s shitty friend group. And Happiest Season is supposedly a holiday romance that instead accidentally becomes a horror movie about dating a woman with Republican parents who is seemingly in denial about said Republican parents. These three films will have you feeling good about your singlehood!
For the single person on Valentine’s Day who hates being single…
1. Go Fish // 2. The Watermelon Woman // 3. The Handmaiden
Okay, this was admittedly a hard vibe to pin down with a movie theme, but I ended up going with films that technically do feature romance but also have some sort of edginess to them, which is how we’ve arrived at this particularly wild trio, but I think it works! All three movies are totally different genres and tones, but they’re queer as fuck and formally interesting. They could be the perfect combo for your Valentine’s Day angst.
For the person who was very recently dumped…
1. Eva + Candela // 2. Appropriate Behavior // 3. The Hours
Okay, so if you’re the kind of person who needs feel-good movies post-breakup, then these suggestions are not for you! These suggestions are for the people, like myself, who like to watch other people be miserable and heartbroken when you yourself are miserable and heartbroken. If you need more tender suggestions, then check out the movies in the next two categories, which have more feel-good vibes! But for those who meet sadness with sadness, these are for you! Whether it’s the film Autostraddle editor Drew Burnett Gregory has described as “lesbian Blue Valentine” (Eva + Candela), one of the funniest breakup films ever made (Appropriate Behavior), or the film that I, Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya, always rewatch when sad (The Hours), this is the trio of films for crying through Valentine’s Day.
For the couple who loves to laugh together (or the single person who needs a laugh)…
1. Blockers // 2. Bottoms // 3. The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love
I desperately wanted to come up with a third lesbian movie with a one-word title that starts with a B to fit this category, but alas I could not! But believe me when I say I haven’t stopped saying Blockers, Bottoms, Battlestar Galactica in my head for the past 24 hours. We’ve got three distinct comedy vibes represented here, but all three will definitely make you laugh. Choose Blockers if you want a different kind of teen sex comedy (one that’s actually sex positive!) with a stacked ensemble and a surprisingly sweet queer love story. Choose Bottoms if you want weird, gross-out comedy that’s heavy on the raunchy jokes (and also body horror!). And choose The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love if you want 90s vibes. Blockers and Bottoms would make a great double feature.
For the couple who wants to have a cozy night in…
1. Crush // 2. The Half of It // 3. The Prom
You’re wanting something chill and engaging but ultimately heartwarming and soft! Teen rom-coms it is! Of these three, The Half of It is definitely my favorite, but you can’t really go wrong with any of these picks if you’re wanting something soft and sweet for Valentine’s Day.
For the person or couple who loves love…
1. But I’m a Cheerleader // 2. Saving Face // 3. Imagine Me & You
It’s time to break out the heavy-hitters when it comes to lesbian romantic comedies! And, okay, admittedly But I’m a Cheerleader and Saving Face are incredible films while Imagine Me & You is just, like, fine, but I am sadly one of its defenders! There are so many mid straight rom-coms! Let lesbians have some mid rom-coms, too! But truly if you only have time for one romantic comedy this week, make it Saving Face.
For the couple who recently became parents (to watch after the kids go to bed)…
1. Professor Marston and the Wonder Women // 2. Chutney Popcorn 3. Mom + Mom
Again, these picks are definitely for after the kids are asleep, but if you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day as a newish queer parent, these movies all touch on queer family making in some way. Professor Marston is mostly known for its kinky sex scenes, but it’s also one of my favorite films about dating as a throuple and has an expansive view of queer family and raising children collectively. Chutney Popcorn is a super sweet film that also tackles biological and chosen family and features a queer woman character who wants to get pregnant and has to push back on a lot of cultural expectations in order to do so. And finally, the Italian-language film Mom + Mom, about a lesbian couple trying to get pregnant and mainly from the perspective of the non-gestational parent.
For the couple who wants a spicy night in…
1. Bound // 2. Desert Hearts // 3. Portrait of a Lady on Fire
God, this would be such a hot triple feature. All three films are a masterclass in tension, eroticism, and the lesbian gaze. You can’t really go wrong with any of them, but if you only have room in your heart for one sexy film before you get into actual sexy time, go with Desert Hearts if for no other reason than it being the shortest of the three.
For the adventurous couple on Valentine’s Day…
1. Good Manners // 2. La Llamada (Holy Camp!) // 3. Summertime
Maybe you’re the type of couple who always likes to try new things or whose love and relationship structure doesn’t really fit neatly into a box. Well, I’ve got some films for you that also don’t fit neatly in a box! All of these picks are also in languages other than English, so they work well for the couple who are world travelers, too.
Good Manners is the lesbian werewolf fairy tale horror movie musical you didn’t know you needed. There’s some romance, but there’s also a lot of violence, so this is definitely for the freaks this Valentine’s Day. Another musical option, this one a bit more traditionally so but still a wild ride. It’s from the creators of Veneno, and there are two love stories in it, including one between a queer girl and a nun. Summertime is not a musical, but it still feels like a genre expansive film, at times almost seeming like a narrative documentary about the women’s movement in Paris in the 70s. It’s definitely a movie about politics and lived experiences, but there’s also a ton of fucking.
As far as intensity levels go, these go from highest to lowest.
For the couple with fancy dinner plans on Valentine’s Day…
1. Princess Cyd // 2. Carol // 3. Passing
My kind of people! Sure, restaurants jack up the prices for prix fixe meals that give the illusion you’re getting a good deal, but what is the love holiday for if not indulging in the finest foods with your beloved? Food and eating are focal points of the queer coming-of-age film Princess Cyd. Carol‘s famed creamed spinach and a poached egg doesn’t really scream fancy meal, but it does have a certain elegance to it. Plus, Carol is a “martini movie,” what I call a movie that makes you want to drink a martini. And finally, we have Passing, which feels fitting here for its hyper-stylization.
For the person or couple who hates this holiday and just wants a totally different vibe than everything Valentine’s Day represents…
1. How To Blow Up a Pipeline // 2. Love Lies Bleeding // 3. Mommy Is Coming
Feel like Valentine’s Day is just another capitalism-driven scam that contributes to climate change by creating a lot of plastic waste? Well versed on the climate and labor impact of buying roses for Valentine’s Day? Great, then pop on How To Blow Up a Pipeline, my favorite queer Christmas movie. It’s light on romance (though it is quite romantic at moments!) and heavy on revolution. Or perhaps you want something where the romance comes with a heavy dose of violence. Then by all means, watch Love Lies Bleeding which, in addition to its killer sex scenes, also features actual killing! And, well, with Mommy Is Coming, the anti-Valentine’s Day vibes are kind of right there in the title. A lesser known gem than Cheryl Dunye’s Watermelon Woman, Mommy Is Coming is fucked up in all the best ways and was co-written with iconic lesbian novelist and author Sarah Schulman.
For the person who prefers celebrating Galentine’s Day…
1. Wingwomen // 2. Set it Off // 3. D.E.B.S.
If you’re mainly focused on friendship and platonic love this Valentine’s Day, then might I interest you in a trio of action movies that feature girl gangs in which there’s one or more gays? We’ve got a French heist movie (Wingwomen), one of the best heist movies ever made (Set it Off), and a campy secret agent movie (D.E.B.S.). And in all of them, friendships are very important!
No one should celebrate Valentine’s Day EVERYDAY is a great day to watch and enjoy lesbian sex
I have been wanting to check out wingwomen so thank you for this prod to do so!