When it came to going down on my partner for the first time, I realised I wasn’t just nervous — I was totally overwhelmed. I felt completely out of my depth. But I tried not to let it show. What if I wasn’t good enough? What if she noticed my inexperience? The moment felt like a delicate dance between vulnerability and desire, and it taught me an important truth: Intimacy is as much about connection and communication as it is about technique. Learning how to stay down longer, despite the inevitable jaw clenching and tongue cramping, is a skill I discovered through trial and error, so I’m here to offer others what I’ve learned.
Even if the transition from a casual hang to a steamy make-out session feels unplanned, preparation can make all the difference when it comes to cunnilingus. As things heat up and you go down, finding a comfortable position is crucial. Make sure you’re not awkwardly hanging off the edge of the sofa or bed; it’s one of the keys to lasting longer and giving your best without discomfort stealing the moment.
By now, you’re fully immersed in cunnilingus, juices flowing down your face, heart pounding out of your chest, every sense heightened. This is where the magic happens. Find a rhythm that feels natural and sync your movements with your partner’s responses. Let your body flow as you savour the moment. And when your partner says, ‘Right there, don’t stop!’ take it as your guiding mantra. Lock into that rhythm and maintain it with precision, and you might just turn good into unforgettable.
Here’s the real secret sauce to elevating your cunnilingus game from basic to pro. As you’re keeping the rhythm, your jaw might start clenching, your tongue might feel like it’s about to give out, but your partner might be on the brink of climax. You know you can’t stop now, not when they’re this close. So, what do you do? It’s simple: Move a limb.
This technique is rooted in Reciprocal Inhibition, a physiological principle that involves contracting the muscle opposite to the one experiencing a cramp. Find a way to engage another part of your body: your hand, a finger, your leg, something you can move repeatedly without breaking your mouth’s rhythm. This subtle motion distracts your brain and muscles from focusing on the tension in your jaw or tongue. The key is to keep it synchronized so your partner stays blissfully unaware of your strategic manoeuvring. It’s a game-changer for both stamina and pleasure.
This is more than just technique; it’s an intimate dance where rhythm and connection take center-stage. So, whether you’re learning to stay down longer or perfecting your rhythm, approach each moment like music: Dance to enjoy, and let your partner swirl with you. Great sex is about some techniques, understanding your partner’s body, and staying fully present in the moment. When you do, you can turn every intimate experience into something special.
Now that you know the secrets, will you be trying the reciprocal inhibition challenge?
o yeah, i definitely will be trying the reciprocal inhibition challenge ;)
mahalo for this tip, i am excited! i also find being mindful of my breathing helps me to stay present and in control of the situation and my stamina.
OMG, thank you so much! 🥰 I’m SO excited that you love my tip – and thank you for the breathing and mindfulness tip as well. Let me know how the inhibition challenge works out for you, and if there’s anything specific you’d like me to dive into next.
!!! i did reciprocal inhibition today!!! it worked :D mahalo nui!! as far as other content, in your bio i read that you write about mental health and motherhood, i would love to read more about that if you’d like to share; i think a lot about my two sisters and their 3 kids each and their useless baby daddys who keep my sisters geographically tied to them, and the mental health of my sisters dealing with all that, as well as my mental health being viewed as the sibling who has more “freedom” because i dont have kids but also my grief over not being able to create a baby with my “same sex” lover the way my sisters have been able to create babies with their lovers. i’d also love to read about this partnership you’ve mentioned in this article if you’d like to share!
Yay! 🎉 I am so glad to hear you tried reciprocal inhibition and it worked! Thank you for sharing.
I will definitely delve into these topics you’ve shared further, they are close to my heart. I appreciate your input,, blessings
mahalo, blessings to you and your loved ones as well!!
i also did reciprocal inhibition during a massage and it had an immediate effect of loosening a knot!!
Is this your first article?! Welcome!!! I will be trying this tip as soon as my love returns from out of town! Thank yooouu!
Yes it my first article on Autostraddle. I’m sooo excited to join your corner of the world! 💖 I can’t wait for you to try this tip, it’s a game-changer! Please let me know how it goes when your love gets back; I’m cheering you on! Thank youuu for the love and excitement!”
I’m no lesbian puddy I don’t take moves I have my own moves I use a twirl!
A twirl?! ICONIC! You’ve got your own moves, and I’m here for it! 🔥
Love these new articles!!
Ahhh, thank you sooo much!! 💖 It means the world to me that you’re loving em! I’ve got so much more coming your way – stay tuned, and let me know if there’s anything specific you’d love to see next!
hahahah thank you for this highly relevant information.
Haha, you’re so welcome!! I’m so glad you found it helpful — it means a lot! 🎉 Can’t wait to share more with you, so stick around for even more fun and useful tips!