My wife and I have decided to throw a last minute gay Christmas party with some friends before we go out of town to spend the holidays with my family, which will surely be fine and fun but not nearly as GAY as a celebration with a bunch of homos. What better way to microdose the holidays than to get together with some friends and spread some Christmas cheer IN A GAY WAY? I love to host and to throw parties, and I usually don’t do so last minute, but I’m embracing spontaneity and social gatherings that feel festive without too much effort these days because if I had to make every hang perfect then I’d never actually see my friends, and I don’t want that! So with little time (and little money), I pulled together a last minute Make The Yuletide Gay party of my dreams, and you can, too! Feel free to follow this advice closely or use it for inspiration and then put your own twists on it.

Entertainment

I started here, because this is what I wanted to build the party around. I knew I wanted to have friends over to watch my favorite gay Christmas special, Matt Rogers’ Have You Heard of Christmas? If you’ve seen it, you already know its magic. If you haven’t, what are you waiting for! Plan a Christmas party for the sole purpose of watching this must-see Christmas special with friends!!! All you need is a Hulu subscription or a friend with a Hulu subscription, and you’re set!

I recommend making it a double feature and starting with A Nonsense Christmas with Sabrina Carpenter before moving into the main Matt Rogers event. You could have this on in the background as people are arriving or you can play Christmas music for arrivals (I’m partial to the Carpenters Christmas album, which isn’t gay but IS very good) and then treat Sabrina’s Christmas special as a “pregame” by playing a themed drinking game.

As far as Christmas party double features go, I truly think this back-to-back Sabrina Carpenter/Matt Rogers special lineup can’t be beat. They’re also a fine length for a party that would still allow for some mingling after the fact. But if you want more of a cozy vibe than a rambunctious theater gay vibe, you could always just watch Happiest Season or any number of lesbian holiday films. If you don’t want to make the party a watch party, then you can pop some of these on in the background.

Food + Beverage

We’re keeping this party budget friendly and easy, remember? The simplest route would be to make it a potluck so that everyone brings food. Just make sure you get everyone in a group text to say what they’re bringing so you don’t end up with seven bags of chips and nothing sweet.

If you do want to make something, here are my two extremely simple suggestions, all of which can be modified to be vegan and/or gluten free if you need:

Herbed Crackers with Toppings
You can use any style of crackers for these, but I like Saltines best. Preheat your oven to 375. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, add crackers in a single layer, and melt a stick of butter. Add fresh OR dried herbs like sage, parsley, rosemary, or thyme to the melted butter and pour it over the crackers evenly. Pop them in the oven for like 6-8 minutes, checking periodically. They should turn a golden brown but not be burnt. You can use a good quality olive oil instead of butter if you’re skipping the dairy, and gluten free crackers work, too!

Honestly, they taste pretty good by themselves, but you can put out whatever cheese you might have on hand to have with them or have them with fruit jam.

“Snow” Balls (they’re meat balls)
I don’t know why my friends are nostalgic for suburban dinner parties thrown by moms in the 90s, but every time I show up to a function with what are essentially plain ol’ crockpot meatballs in sweet n spicy sauce, people lose their shit! I’m literally talking the classic grape jelly meatballs made with sweet chili sauce and grape jelly. You can use frozen premade meatballs or meatless balls for the vegetarians. Bang em in a crockpot with all the sauces, and you’re set.

If you wanna get a little fancier, you can make a white chicken chili or lasagna soup. Basically anything you can easily make a lot of in a crock pot, slow cooker, or instant pot is what you’re looking for. Spend less time in the kitchen and more time being gay with your friends!

For drinks, make sure you have nonalcoholic options. If you’re wanting to mix up some cocktails, you could of course do some Christmasy themed recipes, of which there are a bajillion online. But if you’re keeping this no fuss, then make whatever it is you usually make, whether that be martinis, margaritas, old fashioneds, WHATEVER, and use my go-to Christmas drink hack: food coloring. All you need is red or green food coloring to transform any cocktail into a “Christmas” drink. You might have to adjust your recipe slightly to account for sweetness if you get a coloring that has sugar in it, but a little goes a long way here. And hey, you can go ahead and use that food coloring to mix up some frosting to ice cookies, too, if that’s the vibe of your party.

Looking for simple but festive winter mocktail recipes? We’ve got you covered.

When it comes to a holiday party, I find that a drink’s success is mostly in the name. In honor of Matt Rogers, I’m calling mine the “Hottest Female Up in Whoville” and it’s essentially just a gin martini with green food coloring.

Decor

If you’re throwing a gay Christmas party, I’m going to assume you already have some sort of Christmas decor going on at your house, which means you don’t have to add much when entertaining. If anything, I’d recommend doing some seasonal floral arrangements. I’m a self-taught amateur florist who doesn’t believe in too many “rules” about arranging flowers, but my main advice is to hit Trader Joe’s in their first hour of being open on the day of your party! Professional florists source from Trader Joe’s, because you really can’t beat the selection and prices. But getting there in their first hour of being open is key, because you’ll have the biggest selection before it becomes picked over by those aforementioned pros!

TJ’s has really awesome winter greenery right now, so grab a bundle of that and then a colored flower of your choice and get to arranging! Don’t have a vase? No problem — I’ve arranged beautiful bouquets in everything from mason jars to water pitchers to empty wine bottles. The key to being gay Martha Stewart is just working with what you’ve got.

You’ve got your entertainment, your snacks and drinks, and your chic decor — now all you need is to invite your gay friends! Create a chaotic massive group text that people will absolutely immediately mute and tell everyone to get their asses over to yours for a sexy, fun, and GAY holiday party.

Gifts not required, but if you do want to add a gift element, I was recently introduced to the concept of the “favorite things” gift exchange where people bring two of the same item and it has to be something they also own and love and then do a white elephant style exchange where everyone ends up with two things they’ll actually want because it’s good shit their friends love. My tennis team did this, and it was great! I ended up with a really good candle and a foot massager I use all the time. But again, if you’re keeping it simple, maybe skip the gifts or do a book exchange where people bring books from their shelves so they don’t have to go out and get anything!

I used to write a lot more pieces like this about lesbian domesticity, and I’m not really sure why I stopped! Do you like this? Should I do more of it? Let me know. Okay go forth and throw a gay last minute Christmas party and then tell me about it!!!!

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