What I Think I’m Going To Do When
My Girlfriend Is Gone for a Month
- Catch up on the shows I watch without her that I’m behind on
- Get dressed up to take myself on romantic solo dates to my favorite places
- Go on long walks around the neighborhood
- Finally organize the nonfiction section of our bookcases, which for some reason is the only section not yet alphabetized
- Get really into fancy ingredient lattes
- Go to bed early
- Write and send her letters
- Meditate
- Go to the beach by myself and not do anything weird while there
- Certainly not fundamentally change any of the decor in our home that would be absurd
- Work efficiently and with great focus on my languishing novel draft
- Play with the dog
- Order Domino’s
- Organize my makeup
- Call my friends
- Get my Yellowjackets recap done early and then have a kiddie pool day in the backyard
- Write things for Autostraddle that aren’t about my relationship/personal life for once
What I Actually Do When
My Girlfriend Is Gone for a Month
- Rewatch all of The Hunger Games movies for some reason
- Spend a lot of time and money on making a high concept Yellowjackets-themed parody TikTok video
- Walk to the neighborhood bar to play darts for three hours by myself
- Impulse buy five new books that we absolutely in no way have shelf space for
- Chug cold brew until I can see through space and time
- GET in bed early but then stay up watching superhero movies on my laptop
- Send her nudes
- Blast Bad Bunny while chugging cold brew
- Go to the beach by myself and collect 10+ lbs of seashells
- Fill the lamps on our bedside tables with seashells
- Do overly meticulous research for my lesbian haunted house horror screenplay
- Talk to the dog
- Order Domino’s
- Watch makeup tutorials
- Send 15-minute voice memos to friends
- Get my Yellowjackets recap done early and then add 1800 more words just for fun
- Write this list
KAYLA STOP. My partner hasn’t gone on an overnight trip without me in ages, and I’ve been dreaming of all the things I’ll do when I’m home alone, and it is honestly painful how accurate this is about what will actually happen when he leaves.
LOLLL it has only been four days but so far most of the right column has come tru
So relatable! My girlfriend left for Iceland for three months yesterday and the cat and dog are the true victims here even though I have already talked to my girlfriend too :D
THREE MONTHS OMG best of luck to you 😭 this is def the longest we’ve done since we were long distance!
Thank you 😊 Time is hopefully gonna fly for us all!
i think so too! my dominos pizzas will help pass the time
oh my god
🤠
i haven’t ordered domino’s yet but it’s only a matter of time
This is precisely my rebellion when my Italian wife is away. Though I tend to add: feel annoyingly grey the whole time. Do fun stuff with friends that normally I’d do with her also.
Also in the most lesbian stereotype ever… My cat miaows at me and physically walks me to bed at about 10.30.
What kind of nudes asking respectfully
My partner was gone for three nights, and things went mostly like this
lollllll yes it has only been three nights for me so far and basically all of these things have already happened
Why have I been attacked on this good website
😇
the ability to watch things on a screen that have an audio component in bed makes “going to bed early” whenst one is alone in said bed a very difficult task
excited for your seashell lamps
Surprised to see Domino’s on list since they contribute to anti-lgbtq and anti-choice candidates etc…
The cover image chosen for this listicle is killing me 😭😭😭😂😂😂 The actual activities aren’t even that evocative of sad dog waiting for its owner!!!
We love to read about your personal life and relationships tho so do your personal boundaries but not for us!
lololol good to know! sometimes I’m like I hope people aren’t getting bored of the personal stuff lol
Now I want to go to the beach and collect seashells, but I live in the Midwest.
Maybe I can collect cool rocks somewhere instead.
i’m a big fan of cool rocks – https://www.autostraddle.com/im-a-cool-rock-lesbian/
I feel both seen and called out by this Kayla! My spouse is out of town for a week. It’s been like 4 days and I’ve already eaten both frozen pizzas that he bought for me. Even though I was all like, I won’t need the frozen pizza, I can cook! A
I had all these big plans to make myself pasta with broccoli and a soft boiled egg. And work on my drawing for my online colored pencil drawing class I’m taking. And take long walks at sunset. And now I’m just feeling lucky that I’ve managed to feed myself and meet all of my obligations.
yes!!! i’m a great cook but i HATE cooking for one!!!!
Right?! It just feels like so much work to cook for one. I have no idea how I managed to feed myself when I lived alone. Lol.
You haven’t lived until you’ve eaten an entire container of pre-made cheesecake filling while your wife is at a conference.
🍰🍰🍰
Huh. I don’t remember writing these lists but they are definitely mine.