I am wearing a hoodie and drinking hot tea and my toes are tucked into my L.L. Bean slippers and I’ve got cookies baking in the oven ’cause it is COZY SEASON, MY FRIENDS! Which of course means you need to know which cozy season item you are this autumn and winter. Don’t worry, I made you a quiz for that!
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Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior editor who lives in New York City with her wife, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Twitter and Instagram.
Heather has written 1718 articles for us.
My mouth did just get a hug from a hot chocolate so that checks out.
“You’re not ashamed to admit that adulting is hard and everyone could use a hug sometimes, even your mouth.”
I feel called out. Yep, adulting is hard and hot chocolate makes everything better, especially now I finally have mini marshmallows to do it properly.
i am drinking hot chocolate right now to help me with adulting <3
i couldn’t find something to pick for the 2nd and 3rd ?s… is there a “depends on if i could sleep and ‘if so comin atcha’, ‘if no then i’ll be with you in a minute'” option?
Because Bewbs Pillow. I do not own this thing. Why do I not own this thing? Why do I want this thing? Because bewbs.
Just took this as I sit here recovering from top surgery and got the Because Bewbs pillow. Absolutely incredible timing.
Poplin pajamas. I feel seen.
congratulations on your surgery! may your recovery go well
I am honored: “Smittens – Looks like Cozy Season also means Cuffing Season for somebody. Welcome to team Love Is Not a Lie!” because… this is a good sign, isn’t it?!
A candle. Perfect it’s almost like I was searching the various seasonal scented candles online.
I got Wine by the Fire, I actually don’t drink alcohol!
Yes, I am, in fact, wearing a giant sweatshirt. How did you know?
I’m hot chocolate and I’m a little unreasonably happy about this result! I just really love hot chocolate! (And hugs!)
Gripper slippers, ok. I…might be wearing mid-calf insulated hiking boots right now, at 1 am, because I didn’t want to take them off after my walk hours ago because my normal slippers don’t go up that high so I’m basically using my boots as gripper slippers. I just came here to have fun, Heather.
Also, Heather, my love, my icon, how in the name of all that is holy or otherwise am I supposed to choose between those toast options? The answer is all of them. (Not all at once.) I cling to my belief that I am *really* hot chocolate and it is only your obfuscatory toast dilemma (decalemma?) that prevented my hot chocolateness from showing through. I’ll comfort myself with hot chocolate tomorrow, but for now I’m going to bed. After I warm up a rice pack for my feet, because we supposed gripper slippers do not suffer cold toes when a solution is at hand. (Foot.)
I had the opposite toast dilemma. I don’t like toast.
these extremes are the moast
No one well-bread would have made that remark. That was crumby. But I suppose I should have expected that from you; you can’t live against your grain. :)
it’s true, no one has or will ever accuse me of being upper crust. but i do try to rise to the occasion, whatever that may be. clearly today i fell shortbread.
Poplin pajamas! “You are classic, stylish, and don’t mind watching your favorite movies over and over and over.”
I was hoping for hot tea (hot tea is an option, right?) but now that I think about it, last night I wore my fave pink silk pajama pants and comfy cotton nightshirt while my spouse and I ate toaster oven s’mores while watching a documentary about backyard bees.
So what I’m saying is, I’ll accept stylish and classic.
And thank you Heather for a quiz that felt like a warm blanket on a cold night.
I got Wine by the Fire, very accurate. Even if the fire is a Youtube channel and the wine sometimes segues into a single malt, this is definitely my Fall and Winter jam.
Thank you Heather (sorry I didn’t choose your teddy bear in the end, that was a bit stressful but I went with my heart, you know ? But I’m still glancing back at it…)
it is objectively the best. but then Pooh bear, and nostalgia
oh wait, I interpreted that choice as MY childhood bear not Heather’s. My childhood bear was pink with a white belly (ok, it was white only until an unfortunate event involving tears and a mud puddle) and didn’t look anything like the picture in the quiz, but I still knew I was picking MY bear.
I took it that way too. No shade to your bear, Heather, very cute, don’t regret my choice.
I’m suddenly thinking of neapolitan ice cream, which is an unexpected joy.
Let me bear all :
I never had a teddy bear (which may be the cause of my dissociative process during the quiz… but I digress)
I had a teddy-cat that got lost when I was around four I think, I’m a bit Fozzy on the details. Oh well, hair today, gone tomorrow.
ALL OF THEM HEATHER. I am ALL OF COZY SEASON.
Wait a minute, Heather. I have to stop taking the test and make all of these toasts first.
Toast solidarity! Spread the word! If you’re in a jam because you lack some of the mentioned ingredients, butter me up and I will share, honey.
A toast to you, Iarrann mé!
I can’t multi-select the Viola Davis fits, and that hurts me deep down
“You like your winter weather settings to be intimate and photo-worthy, and don’t mind the reminder that sometimes things just need to burn until they vanish.” This is so metal.
smittens!!!