Content notes: threesomes
I.

Start with a crush: Finn. He’s handsome, so why wouldn’t you want to fuck him? His eyes sparkle when you make him laugh and you’re forever wondering if you’re flirting or just talking or somewhere in between the summer you two first meet. You’re seeing someone else, though, and the two of you aren’t really open. Settle into a friendship with this sexy stranger that soon is much more than just casual conversation, more best friendship than anything so slippery as a mere crush. Spill your secrets. Listen when he cries. Go out dancing. Kiss sometimes on the dance floor. Hold hands on long walks. Meet his family. Introduce him to yours. Talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. Realize you’re going to love this person for the rest of your life.

II.

Break up with your girlfriend and start having a lot of sex: with friends, with dates, with strangers, with your ex. Over drinks one night at the local dive bar, confess to Finn how you once had a crush on him, how if you hadn’t been with whatshername the summer you two met, you may have tried to be bolder in your flirtations, less honest in your confessions. Allow relief to seep through your body as he laughs and says, duh, I know that, with the same sparkle in his eye, and then, but I’m glad things happened the way they did. Clink your drinks across the sticky table and cruise the room together with your eyes, wondering which babe might be up for a drink or a game of pool or…

III.

Meet Finn’s new girlfriend, Em. Love her immediately. She is perfect for him, they are perfect together, she is smart and sexy and fun and funny and all the best things. Feel envious when you see them pressed up against together at the monthly gay dance party and let your mind wander. Close your eyes and envision the scene your best friend spelled out for you just a few nights ago during one of your lengthy phone calls of Em on her knees with her ass in the air, letting him use different implements to spank her — many of the toys you’ve bought together over the years at various different sex toy shops, you can picture most of them as he tells you what a good job she did for him — of the way she was quiet when he told her to be quiet and the way she begged when he commanded her to beg. Let yourself get wet thinking about it. Dance over to them. Keep dancing when Finn goes to the bar to get you both fresh drinks. Push Em’s curls out of her face; let her grab your hand. Delight in the near future when she will no longer be your best friend’s new girlfriend but simply one of your close friends, too.

Art by Laura Lee Benjamin

IV.

Suggest a threesome one night while the three of you are driving to a concert. It’s a joke, kind of, but it’s also totally not a joke, and everyone is sober and consenting and excited and the idea lingers in the air like candy, like something delicious you’re going to devour now that it exists. Pick a day, a Sunday afternoon in January. A Sunday afternoon in January is the perfect time for a threesome between friends. Arrive at their house fully clothed and a little nervous. Sit on the floral print couch you helped them move; sip tea. Discuss what you hope will happen next, set some boundaries. You will use gloves. You will use condoms on toys. Finn will be in charge; he knows what you both like; he is very good at being in charge. If anyone feels left out or weird, you will stop and check in. You have butterflies in your stomach that travel to your chest and your cunt and you giggle and Finn giggles and Em giggles and then Finn stops giggling and says, very seriously, take off your clothes but leave your underwear on, and the scene is underway and you and Em arrange your faces into obedient willing canvases and do as you’re told.

V.

It is so easy. Finn tells you to get on your knees and suck his cock and you do. Em plays with your hair, half pulling, half keeping it out of your mouth, generous and easy and so fucking hot. Em gets on her knees and you share, both your mouths open wide, spit dripping down both your chins, letting Finn choose which hole he wants to use over and over and over and over. Em asks if she can use your nipple clamps and you happily show her how, but she squeals and decides immediately the clamps are not the right toy for her. She asks if she can put them on you instead, and you happily agree; she asks Finn to hold your hands behind your back while she does and he obliges, the two of them lean in and share a kiss over your shoulder as Em adjusts the clamp so they bite hard on your nipples, you’re all soaking wet, you tell each other, you laugh, it’s not weird, it’s just fun, it’s so, so, so easy.

VI.

When you’re all finally done orgasming — done with the blowjob, with the nipple clamps, with the Hitatchi, with the spanking, with the squirting, with the fucking, with the giggling — you get dressed and go out for dinner. Wonder if it will finally get weird; laugh with delirious relief when it is simply still not weird. Order fries for the table. Order a bottle of wine to share. Order chicken and let them order salads because you eat meat and they do not. Realize it has happened: Em is no longer simply Finn’s girlfriend. You are out for dinner with two of your best friends. Let them drive you home when you’re done. Hug goodbye. Go to bed well fucked and happy, mentally adding have really good sex to the list of things you sometimes do with your best friends.

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