Welcome back to Boobs on Your Tube!

This week, Batwoman just keeps better and better — and that flirtation between Ryan and Sophie has left our team screaming into the internet. Legends of Tomorrow had some close encounters of the gay kind in its Season Six premiere. Speaking of premieres, Pose debuted it’s third and final season this week and we are emotionally unprepared so please pass the Kleenex. That Tegan & Sara/ Clea DuVall show, based on the singers’ memoir “High School,” is officially a GO!, so put on your best 90s flannel and get into it. Supergirl gave us Chyler Leigh’s directorial debut! That new documentary Hysterical, focuses almost exclusively on cis white women in comedy, and really misses the mark. Drew wrote a personal essay about Friends and finding herself in unexpected trans narratives that’s simply a must read. And Riese wrote you a quiz, in follow up to her magnum opus Which L Word Character Are You?, we now present you with: Which L Word Side Character Are You?

It’s the beginning of a new month, and of course we have EVERYTHING that’s gay that you’ll want to stream wherever you like to stream things: Here’s What’s New and Gay on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, HBO Max and Peacock

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ On Black Lightning, Anissa Pierce lived!! Grace pushed her out of the car’s path just in time. Then the wives went on a little mystery solving mystery, and flirted and called each other babe a lot. Mostly background work, but damnit if their chemistry still doesn’t make my heart melt. — Carmen

+ Charmed is on a new night now! It moved to Friday, so I’ll write about tonight’s episode in next week’s Boob Tube and so on and so forth. — Valerie Anne

New Amsterdam 310: “Radical”

Written by Natalie

Lauren and Leyla sitting in on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Leyla’s making breakfast for herself and her roommate when a message on her phone distracts her. She’s so transfixed by the message that she accidentally touches the hot pan in front of her. She yells out and Lauren comes running. She assesses what happened and pulls Leyla’s burned hand under some cool running water. But, instead of grimacing at the pain, Leyla’s smiling: She just got news that she passed her medical board exams and can train in the United States!

Overjoyed at the news, she wraps Lauren up in a hug. Leyla knows that without Lauren — without her giving her space to focus on studying rather than surviving — none of this would be happening. She holds Lauren impossibly close but Lauren pulls away to get ice to treat the burn. Leyla pulls Lauren back to her, expresses her gratitude again and then kisses her. Lauren pulls away, shocked, and runs out the door.

(I’m trying not to read into the use of Noah Cyrus’ July to soundtrack this moment but…um… do you think the music department read the song’s lyrics?)

At work, Dr. Bloom treats a patient, Niall, who’s having difficulty breathing. When the patient’s COVID test comes back negative, she recruits Dr. Reynolds — the hospital’s cardio surgeon — to help come up with a diagnosis. Niall is poly and his partners (Zara, Michael and Zane) share information that might lead to a diagnosis: Zara reports that they went mushroom foraging the day before, so Bloom and Reynolds start treatment for potential mushroom poisoning. While they’re waiting for the treatment to kick in, Reynolds asks Bloom if she could ever imagine being in a polyamorous relationship.

“I think the jury is still out on me and relationships in general,” Bloom admits. In the end, everything works out — Niall is ultimately diagnosed with parrot fever thanks to insight from his wife — and for Reynolds and Bloom, Niall’s polyamorous quad and his wife are a reminder that when love finds you, it might not look or feel like what you thought it would.

When Lauren returns home, she finds Leyla packing her things. She’s mortified that their kiss sent Lauren scurrying out of her home and she’s decided to leave. Lauren asks her not to do leave and admits that she was just surprised.

Leyla: What, that I like you?
Lauren: No. I’m just surprised that… it felt normal. I’m not used to normal or real.

Knowing her history, that answer feels like the truest thing Lauren Bloom could’ve said. Leyla wonders aloud if what they have is real and Lauren assures her it is by confessing that all she’s done all day is think of her. Again, Lauren asks Leyla to stay and when Leyla asks why, Lauren answers with a kiss.

Nancy Drew 214: “The Siege of the Unseen Specter”

Written by Valerie Anne

I don’t see how my Bess/Odette ship doesn’t go the way of the Titanic but I’m playing my violin for them all the way down.

This week, the Drew Crew split into two groups, with Nancy and Nick solving a case of police brutality that went unsolved for many years because of systematic racism, while George, Bess and Ace hang out at the Claw with ghosts.

George makes good on her promise to try to find Mary’s spirit for Odette. Since Mary died in England, and there’s a little too much going on for them to fly across the pond right now, they have to find a local ghost to find her instead. Odette feels a little weird about this whole situation but when Bess reassures her that this is their best shot, Odette relaxes a litte; she trusts Bess.

George summons the spirit of her Aunt Mei, who inhabits Ace’s body, and Bess and George beg for her help finding Mary. Aunt Mei agrees to help but when she returns, she has bittersweet news. Mary Clarke moved on after Odette died. She found another great love, she lived a full life, she died an old woman surrounded by family and love. Mei says Mary has a long story, which makes me feel like there’s something she’s leaving out, but the long and short of it is, she can’t bring Mary here to see Odette.

Odette is devastated. She thought Mary would be waiting for her, like she was waiting for Mary. She hadn’t even considered that Mary would have fallen in love again. Bess is also upset; she was hoping this would make Odette feel better, not worse.

After a sweet bonding moment where Aunt Mei tells George she’s proud of her, she has more bad news: if George doesn’t untangle Odette’s soul from her own soon, their lifelines will merge and Odette’s premature death shaped fate will be George’s, too. So while we were starting to think maybe George could find a way to live with sharing a body with Odette, the truth is, she literally can’t.

Legacies 311: “All’s Well That Ends Well”

Written by Valerie Anne

I love Finch but I’m still Hosie trash.

This week, the twins are split up and have very different days. Lizzie spends most of it harassing, calling her a murderer since her wolf curse is activated. Finch assures her she didn’t kill anyone, and anyway where did Lizzie get that idea? Finch thought she was the only werewolf, a fact that broke my whole heart. Lizzie outs herself as a witch is borderline cruel to Finch and all but bullies her into letting M.G. use his vampire mind magic to visit the first night she turned to find out who she murdered.

Lizzie is expecting to see something vicious and predatory, but instead they see a literal child in a hospital room. On his deathbed, Finch’s grandfather gave her pills with which to kill him “to make her strong” and advice not to trust anyone. When she comes back to reality, Finch hopes Lizzie is happy for making her remember the most traumatic day of her life she clearly was blocking for a reason.

Lizzie offers to block it again, but Finch takes her grandfather’s advice and doesn’t trust Lizzie. Finch says it’s too bad things went this way, because she really did like Josie.

Speaking of Josie, she’s having a crisis because she’s having a hard time assimilating to human life. She uses the Subconscious Summoner and manifests Dark Josie, who says what we already knew: Josie can’t live a happy human life. Suppressing her witchiness and playing human would be like pretending she was straight. Technically she could do it, but it’s hiding a part of herself, which will hold her back from happiness.

So Josie embraces her true self and takes her magic back, knowing it will be a struggle to keep Dark Josie from returning, but knowing it’s better than only being half a person. Josie and Hope have a sweet little heart to heart and Hope asks if Josie will move home, but Josie isn’t sure she’s ready for that yet. We’ll see how she feels if Finch decides to enroll in the Salvator School for Misfits and Monsters.

Home Economics 105: “35% of Allied Harness and Sling LTD, $3,000,000”

Written by Nic

My favorite thing about Home Economics so far is that we get to watch two queer parents just doing queer parent things without their queerness being their entire personalities. This week, Sarah starts a freelance gig where she helps people get their pets certified as emotional support animals, which is a real job that despite having zero qualifications, I kind of want? She and Denise (and actually most of the other siblings) find themselves shocked and hurt when their son Kelvin chooses to do a school project on his Uncle Connor who obviously has the coolest job. Now, what exactly that job is, I’m still not entirely sure, but that job makes Connor beaucoup bucks and that’s all Kel needs to know. Sarah is terrified that their son is about to get indoctrinated by capitalist propaganda so before she leaves Kelvin with Connor, she pulls a Mufasa “Remember who you are,” and warns Connor not to teach him anything untoward, like the word “bruh.”

Sarah may have expected her son to pick up traits from Uncle Connor, but she absolutely did not expect her wife to have a successful foray into making a bit of that sweet sweet capitalist blood money. When Denise arrives to pick up Kelvin, she ends up helping Connor close a deal with a big client, and she does it by (wait for it) being nice!

Cut to later that afternoon with Denise closing deals left and right until Sarah shows up, appalled that she’s lost two family members to the dark side. Denise knows she just got caught up in the rush, and Sarah relishes in being the level-headed one in their relationship, if only for a brief moment. They ended up teaching Kelvin an important lesson: It’s nice to get paid, but it also pays to be nice. Denise and Sarah are obviously so cute together, but I hope we get to see even more of who Denise is, separately from the playing the calmer half of the “Lulu” pair, and this week was an incredible example of that.

Top Chef: Portland 1806: “Stumptown U.S.A.”

Written by Natalie

This episode was called “Stumptown U.S.A.” which only mad me mad about the cancellation of the Cobie Smulders-fronted show all over again.

I loved this week’s episode of Top Chef: Portland which paid homage to the city’s Indigenous communities (the Confederated Tribes of the Umatilla). Padma Lakshmi’s always been an incredible host but this season, you can see her fingerprints as an executive producer in the choice to showcase Pan-African and Indigenous cuisine. It fits the culinary point of view she established on her own show, Taste of a Nation.

As for our gay cheftestant, Maria Mazon, she lives to cook another day. After a middle of the road finish in the quickfire challenge, she’s partnered with Byron — the same guy who edged her out for the victory last week — to prepare a surf-and-turf dish using elk and salmon. Inspired by the Native women being utter badasses on behalf of their people, Maria steps up her game for the double elimination challenge. The cook goes reasonably well but when it’s time to plate, Maria goes to put down more of her green mole sauce when Byron says she shouldn’t. He believes that the green mole is pervasive enough in the dish because the elk was marinated in it. Maria gives in… and while everyone enjoys the food, the judges are unanimous that it needed more mole.

While Maria survived the elimination, it did leave me worried about her future on the show. After her near-win last week, Tom remarked that it was clear that she deserved to be on Top Chef but I wonder if Maria believes that. As a self-taught chef who forged her own way in the industry, it seems like she’s experiencing imposter syndrome as she competes with chefs who went to culinary school and/or who have worked in Michelin starred restaurants. I think that’s why she gave into Byron so easily. I hope this week convinces her that her instincts are on-point and she should trust them moving forward.

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