Previously on Wynonna Earp, Wynonna got her heart broken by a judgmental cowboy and went on a bender about it, Rachel released Reaper Billy back to his sister, Waverly and Wynonna learned about the mind-melting fog creeping into the Ghost River Triangle the hard way, and we had three episodes in a row of laughter and goofs so we knew this attack on our feelings was coming but it didn’t stop it from hurting.

We open in a Dolly Parton 9 to 5 music video, with a peek into what Wynonna’s day to day has looked like later. She tumbles outta bed, stumbles to the forest, with a flask full of ambition and, I imagine, whiskey. Every day the same. Kick open the door, down a demon, come home and pass out. Rinse and repeat.

Working 9 to 5, what a way to make a living. Barely gettin’ by, it’s all taking and no giving.

Until one morning she wakes up and reaches out for Peacemaker and finds it isn’t where she dropped it the night before. She makes her way to the kitchen, chases some Tylenol with some banana liqueur, and tries to break it to WayHaught gently that she seems to have misplaced a certain buntline special.

She didn’t even look at the label. What if Waverly upcycled that into an olive oil decanter?

But when she turns around to see her sister’s reaction, likely expecting annoyance, worry, or even anger, instead she sees Waverly and Nicole looking at her and her morning shot with a deep sadness in their eyes. After they talk for a minute, Waverly reveals she took Peacemaker because they need to talk.

Frankly I give Wynonna credit for staying there as long as she did. As soon as I saw Waverly’s face I would have noped out so fast.

You can tell this is something Waverly and Nicole have talked about, something that pains Waverly to do, but she’s known for a while it’s a conversation she had to have. She tells Wynonna that they love her very much, and Wynonna instantly recognizes it as the intervention it is. Whether it’s for the alcohol or the demon hunting, I’m not sure Waverly even knows, all she knows is that her sister is hurting and won’t ask for help even though it’s clear she needs it.

“These aren’t tears it’s just the banana liqueur trying to escape through my eyeballs.”

Wynonna fights back tears and tries to grab Peacemaker from Waverly, but Waverly won’t give it. Knowing this is being used as collateral for this conversation, Wynonna decides she doesn’t need the gun today and storms off. Waverly chases after her and Wynonna spins on her heels and yells at Waverly; how dare she act like what she’s doing is wrong when everything she does is for Waverly. Wynonna is saving everyone’s life, so what if she needs a little whiskey to do it? Waverly is worried that maybe Wynonna is enjoying the demon killing a little too much, and while that may be true, I think it’s something Waverly has been worrying about herself, too. So it’s not an attack when she says it, it’s a gentle opportunity to talk about it.

“Listen, if Willa were here I’d have her be the bad guy and break this to you but I’m all you’ve got so listen up.”

But Wynonna feels attacked.

Wynonna squares off with her baby sister. She’s doing this for HER, she’s doing this for everyone. She has to do this or people will die. Wynonna points out how Waverly killed a Clanton, same as her, and no one seems to be up her angel ass about it.

It gives me belly rumblings when these two fight.

Waverly tries not to burst into tears as she makes one final attempt to reach Wynonna. She has one last move to try to get her big sister to hear her. She compares Wynonna to Ward.

Wynonna does hear this, but it hurts her. Deeply. She calls Waverly a sanctimonious asshole and storms off.

Waverly goes in to find Nicole waiting patiently for her and collapses into her arms. “I’m not judging her,” she explains, and it’s true. “I’m just trying not to lose her.”

“Wynonna has always been my most important pers–This uniform smells like chicken.”

Nicole holds her girlfriend tight, wishing there was more she could do, offering to stay with her so she doesn’t have to be alone.

“There’ll be no strings to bind your hands. Not if my love can’t bind your heart.”

But Waverly tells Nicole to go. She has a job to do now. And besides, Waverly has some shenanigans of her own to get up to. As soon as Nicole is out of sight, she calls Doc and meets him by the stairs in the forest. He brought the book she took from the Garden and we finally (finally!) learn which one she took: the one labeled Waverly Gibson. She took it because she thought it was the easiest way to get information about everyone else, since she considers them such important parts of her life. Maybe she was afraid Nicole wouldn’t be in Doc’s, or Rosita wouldn’t be in Nicole’s, but if she took her own she would have access to everyone in her galaxy. Though what she thought it would tell her is beyond me, and honestly beyond her too, because it’s blank.

“This isn’t how it worked in The Magicians.”

She worries she made the selfish choice and that’s why it’s blank now, otherwise what explanation is there? Doc says the Garden was full of mysterious things and they probably shouldn’t read too much into it. She tells him about the Throne then, about how it took away her ability to care about anyone else. Doc said that sounds like hell, and Waverly said it felt like heaven. And honestly, I think they’re both right. Caring about other people is the whole point of life, in my opinion. It makes all the good things better and all the bad things bearable. But good lord can it be exhausting. Especially to someone who cares as deeply and as often as Waverly. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed. When someone like Waverly gives you comfort or support, she trades a little of her light for your darkness. She takes a stone from your burden and gives you a feather in return. And after a while, it starts to get heavy. And when you care about someone, you worry about them. And when you live in a town like Purgatory, that worry is turned up to 11 at all times. A persistent clench, a constant held breath. To be able to set all that down, to be able to stop worrying for once about Wynonna, Nicole, Doc, Jeremy, Rachel. To be able to breathe.” Waverly wouldn’t be Waverly without all this love she has for her family, blood or chosen, but I can see it’s temptation, is all I’m saying.

Doc and Waverly’s rumination is interrupted by Dallas and Remy, two of Amon’s lackeys, who are starving and looking at Waverly like Wile E. Coyote looks at Road Runner.

“How rude.”

Doc tries to get them to stand down but they’re too hungry to tap into their humanity right now, so Waverly whips out Peacemaker and wields it with adorable confidence.

Me playing Fortnite: Feeling tough, being largely ineffective.

But despite it coming through in a pinch for her once before, it remains a hunk of metal in her hands, so Doc tells her to run, and run she does.

Unfortunately the fog has spread and before she knows it, Waverly is running through it, covering her breathing holes very poorly, and trying to find her way out.

Me between when I watched my screener and when the episode aired trying desperately not to spoil the person in the next screenshot.

She eventually hears her name being called and follows it to what I can only assume is the Boobie Munch Cabin and stumbles inside, where the fog seemingly hasn’t permeated yet. But inside there are no breast alligators to be found, only an old enemy lurking in the shadows.

Jolene.

But you? you’re not allowed. You’re uninvited. An unfortunate slight.”

Waverly is horrified, she watched Wynonna shoot her, she watched Bulshar take her, but she apparently didn’t die, and when Wynonna defeated Bulshar, his murder tree vines released her. Isn’t it the worst when an enemy you thought you defeated shows up after poison air forces you to isolate yourself from your friends and family?

Gosh if only this show were relatable at all.

Jolene is thrilled to see her better half again…so thrilled, in fact, that she smashes Waverly’s head into a pole and ties her up.

Back in the forest, Remy and Dallas try to explain to Doc that they’re out hunting for food because the Glory Hole was raided that morning, when BBD agents descend upon them as if to prove their point. They tranq Dallas and Doc and say they can leave Remy behind because he’s “not on the list.”

Rachel, realizing the intervention is finally over, goes to the barn to find Wynonna. Wynonna is pissed and taking it out on a punching bag. Rachel looks at Wynonna with admiration and hope and asks if Wynonna will train her; she wants to be able to defend herself…she wants to be like Wynonna.

Sweet girl, you’re already more like Wynonna than you realize. You’re already a fighter, a survivor.

Wynonna doesn’t love this plan but knows she can’t just say no so she takes Rachel to the woods to throw her in the deep end and hope she decides she doesn’t want to learn how to swim after all.

At some BBD facility near a bus full of newly dead senior citizens, Cleo puts on her brightest and most innocent smile and applies to leave the Ghost River Triangle. She is eventually approved, even though Billy the Reaper is lurking nearby and smelling up the place.

“Oh that’s just my cheese collection in my purse, don’t worry about it.”

Back by the Homestead, Rachel skulks through the woods like Simba learning how to pounce and Wynonna sits nearby correcting her form. She tells Rachel she has to flirt with danger, not sneak up on it, and Rachel isn’t sure Wynonna is taking this teaching gig seriously.

I wouldn’t learn much if Wynonna was in charge of my education on any given topic, and it wouldn’t have anything to do with her teaching skills.

Rachel calls Wynonna her family and Wynonna chokes back her feelings and rejects the sentiment. I imagine Rachel is hurt by this but the truth is it’s proof Wynonna cares about her. She feels cursed by her name and doesn’t want it for her lil Valdez. She says maybe the Gibson line is fine but Earp? Nobody should want to be an Earp. Because Earps are doomed to be alone.

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