The ups and downs of our dating lives end up impacting all the other important relationships in our lives, and vice versa; this includes our pets. As a people, we’re famously attached both to our dyke drama and to our pets; who among us hasn’t had to apologize for our dog chewing our new girlfriend’s dildo, or had to interrupt a date because your ex called to say she was taking your shared-custody rabbit to the emergency vet? We, too, have shared these experiences; [law and order sound] these are our stories.
My late, beloved cat Chester played a big role in my courtship with my spouse.
I rescued Chester when he showed up on a friend’s back porch, limping and meowing his head off. I was a goner when he started purring as I was putting down a water bowl for him. I’d just started seeing my future spouse (FS) – he was out of town the week I took in Chester and was kind of freaked out to and discover I’d turned into a cat mom with no warning, while he was away.
Chester and FS were initially wary of each other. FS didn’t think he was a cat person. Chester jumped onto the top of my refrigerator and stole FS’ coffee filters (I’m a tea drinker and buying coffee filters felt like a big step in our relationship). Chester also enjoyed hanging out in my old fashioned high walled bathtub and unexpectedly popping up when FS was using the toilet.
I knew FS was a) serious about me and b) a worthy partner when we woke up one morning and discovered that Chester was dragging his poopy, diarrhea covered butt all over my kitchen floor – artistic but disgusting. FS proved himself by staying and helping me clean up both the floor and the cat. I had to deal with the poopy end of the cat – which was fair. I can totally imagine other of my overnight guests just leaving (oops, look at the time) or hiding in another room until the cleanup was done.
Oh NO, we have a butt-dragger too. We call him Mr. Scoot. That would certainly be a relationship trial by fire.
The first time I slept with my ex, which was at my place, she asked me for a glass of water to keep by her bed through the night. Totally reasonable. I suggested a water bottle instead, because my cat has a tendency of knocking things over (not on purpose, she just doesn’t know her own bulk). But my ex said a glass would be fine, so I just gave in, not wanting to argue about it.
The next morning we woke up to see that, yes indeed, my cat had knocked over the glass of water, which spilled all over my ex’s phone. I heroically refrained from saying “I told you so”, and she was really nice about it, not blaming me or the cat. But later that day, I had a long talk with my cat about not destroying cute girls’ phones or they would never want to come back to my place or sleep with me again.
Luckily, she DID come back, and she and the cat agreed to a truce for the rest of that relationship.
these are all so good but heather! why did you continue the hike!
These were amazing! Thanks for sharing everyone
My cat absolutely thought running and kickflipping off my bed next to my friend while they went down on me would be a great idea! It was totally fine, but they had to pause to laugh a bit and I really didn’t want them to pause right then hahaha. Pretty sure we all cuddled after that
This is the best content I could read a thousand more of these stories