Feature image of La Muxer Diosa and Zoie Blackheart in Crash Pad Series episode 281. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Adina Powers and Scout in Crash Pad Series episode 286
Saskia Vogel, author of Los Angeles-based BDSM novel Permission, spoke to Richa Kaul Padte at Electric Literature on power, desire, consent and erotic exchange:
“It’s the messy quality that makes the erotic so difficult to navigate, right? On the one hand, it’s the thing that allows certain kinds of unwanted sexual attention to go unchallenged because it exists in grey areas. But on the other hand, it’s that quivering space of uncertainty and searching when mutual erotic interest sparks, and you flit between being sure and unsure of where you’re headed…all the while hoping you’re headed somewhere you both want to go. Because messiness is an inherent part of the pleasures of the erotic, it’s essential that communication is clear, honest and open. When we all feel safe, heard, respected and on the same page, that’s when the messiness flourishes. And it’s also when we can start to get a sense of what the instability or messiness [constitutes]. I think it’s unique to each instance of desire. “
Maggie McMuffin and Tender Furiosa in Crash Pad Series episode 295
Supplements won’t get rid of UTIs; only antibiotics will. In the meantime, here’s how to tell a partner that you have an STI:
“[T]he best thing is to be direct and upfront. “It’s also important to do a little bit of research first, so that you understand the STI in case your partner has any questions about it,” Lehmiller said. He also offered up a basic script to follow (feel free to copy/paste, this is a public service):
* Hi, I was recently diagnosed with [INSERT STI] and my doctor thinks it’s essential that my previous partners get tested for this, in the interest of protecting their health. It’s possible that you may not have any symptoms, but should still be tested, to be safe.”
Cinnamon Maxxine and Kissy Burgundy in Crash Pad Series episode 288
At-home STI tests are super appealing, especially if you’re used to being marginalized by the health-care system, but shouldn’t replace relationships with doctors, writes Hannah Harris Green at Gizmodo:
“Until the U.S. medical system reforms to treat trans patients, survivors of sexual violence and other marginalized groups with specialized, professional and respectful care, healthcare will continue to be unequal for these groups. However, tools that allow patients to perform tests on themselves in the comfort of their homes could get rid of some of the inconvenience, embarrassment, and other issues that sometimes prevent people from getting tested.
The more people are able to diagnose and treat STIs, the easier it will be to contain their spread. However, as the number of remotely available healthcare services continues to grow, it’s important that patients don’t try to use them to replace ongoing relationships with their doctors.”
Byron DuBois and Daizy Blaze in Crash Pad Series episode 296
Stop messaging Tinder matches with “hey.”
Instagram met with artists over its nudity policy in a private forum wrapped in NDAs. One participant had her account banned for posting a topless photo outside Instagram’s office later that day.
Movie cliches about teenage dating are wrong.
Period brand Always finally figured out that “people with periods” and “women” aren’t the same thing.
Liberal feminism has a sex-work problem.
If you’re trying to be pregnant and you miscarry, you’re not alone.
Make-up sex feels intense because of all the brain chemicals, not because you’re secretly meant to be with that person and today is the start of something new.
Thank you so much for the reminder about makeup sex, queer sex fairy godmother! I actually needed it on this exact Sunday morning!
There’s a lot more information about STIs that this topic is lacking, including:
– when you get tested, make sure you know what you are getting tested for. I’ve talked to many patients who think they have gotten comprehensive screenings when all they did was pee in a cup. For Gonorrhea and Chlamydia you should be swabbed rectally and orally if you’re engaging in sex in those areas, vaginal sex can be a swab or a urine test. You should be getting blood tests for HIV, Hep C and Syphilis, which is on the rise and easily spread through skin-to-skin contact (genitally and orally).
– if your partner has a STI let your provider know this and which one, as they may decide to give you preventative treatment for one of the bacterial STIs as well as test you. After you and your partner take this treatment, you need to abstain from sexual activity for 7 days to give the infections time to clear and so you don’t re-infect each other (we clear infections at different time periods), and then you’re cured!
– most if not all states get funding for people to get tested and treated for free. If you don’t have health insurance contact your local or state health department to find out where you can get tested and treated for free (they sometimes do it themselves, sometimes they give the money to community based organizations to do it).
– it is reccomended that if you are sexually active you get screened every 3-6 months.
The CDC recommends annual testing. I’m interested in who is recommending testing every 3-6 months?
Uk recs are generally yearly, but 3-6 months if you have multiple/anonymous parties ( and obviously in between if you think you need it)
Partners!
Probably more often for anonymous parties
I’m just awarding myself some kind of Freudian Comment Award.
Here for the anonymous sex parties
Worth it for the neverending STI tests in between those hoedowns – wait are the parties in the medical clinic, because timesaver and that explains some of the furniture
The recommendation is annually even for multiple partners.
From the CDC website: “All sexually active women younger than 25 years should be tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia every year. Women 25 years and older with risk factors such as new or multiple sex partners or a sex partner who has an STD should also be tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia every year.”
In the absence of high risk factors like full service sex work, too frequent testing doesn’t actually make people safer and the risk of false results outweighs benefits. These recommendations are research based.
That’s nice about the Always packaging and all, but maybe they should also remove the chemicals in their products that cause severe vulvar irritation in so many patients I see. I tell patients to ditch the Always on at least a weekly basis.