No Filter: Stephanie Beatriz Is So Hot I Invented an Awards Ceremony Around Her

Hey champs, this week we’re here to talk about Awards Season! That beautiful time of year when beautiful people put on beautiful outfits and sit around in a beautiful Hollywood theatre to win awards for some usually mediocre movies and TV shows!

My colleague Alyssa noticed that the letters behind Stephanie appear to (but like, obvs do not) spell out DENBO, which reminded us of our favorite(???????) character from The L Word, She-bar entrepreneur Dawn Denbo.

As an homage to our friend Ms. Denbo, as a tribute to how beautiful Stephanie Beatriz looks in that picture, and mostly for no real reason whatsoever, we are dedicating this post to our own unofficial awards ceremony. Dear readers, thank you for attending the inaugural Denbo Awards.


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“My first love growing up was the movies. I would see six to eight movies every week with my grandmother, who raised me. And later, when I was a teenager, we got our first television set, and then I got a new love. But what fascinated me was how the stars on the screen could make people laugh, or cry, or maybe both.” — Carol Burnett Carol Burnett accepting the first ever Carol Burnett Award at last nights Golden Globes was my favorite moment of all. I used to use VHS tapes to record her show, and I would laugh until I cried watching her. She’s one of my heroes, and it felt so special to witness everyone celebrating her work in such an incredible way. I was straight up sobbing at the end of her speech. The Carol Burnett Award is the new television equivalent of film’s Cecil B. DeMille Award. Also I wore this fly ass dress to some after parties. Styling: @arieltunnell Hair: @fallonchavezhair Makeup: @ktmell Dress: @hamelbymelinaharris Shoes: @stuartweitzman Clutch: @tylerellisofficial Earrings: @marco_bicego

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I would be remiss if I did not present the first Denbo Award for GODDAMN to Stephanie Beatriz.


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📸 @keeoone

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The Proving My Relationship Exists By Touching Cara Delevingne’s Butt Award goes to Ashley Benson this week, but I can’t promise anything in the future.


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Wyd rn

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The Lover Cindi Award goes to… Hayley Kiyoko!!!!!


The Be Still My Heart Everything Looks Like That One Shot from Jaws Award goes to Lena Waithe.


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Mom chic. 💋

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The Aspiring Grunge Mommi in Television or Film Award goes to Evan Rachel Wood.


Rutina Wesley sailed away with the Most Charming Smile Despite A Usually Very Unflattering Angle Award.


https://www.instagram.com/p/BsY6R2HF9JL/

The Damn I Need a Checkup Award is hereby presented to King Princess, for this week’s very gay photo.


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In deep thot

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The Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya Honorary Thirst Trap Award goes to Teddy Geiger.


https://www.instagram.com/p/BsYfY7_B4fJ/

I’m awarding Janelle Monaé the Denbo Award for Overall Best.


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2019. @sleater_kinney produced by St. Vincent.

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The Denbo Award for Excellence in Maintaining Friendships and Creative Partnerships With Your Ex Girlfriend goes to St Vincent and Carrie Brownstein. Um, if I ever tried to exert any kind of creative control over my ex girlfriend’s art she would eat my face. Good for you two!!!

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Stef

Stef Schwartz is a founding member and the self-appointed Vapid Fluff Editor at Autostraddle.com. She currently resides in New York City, where she spends her days writing songs nobody will ever hear and her nights telling much more successful musicians what to do. Follow her on twitter and/or instagram.

Stef has written 464 articles for us.

32 Comments

  1. That picture of Teddy Geiger made me say Holy Shit out loud. Thank you for including her and blessing me with all this hotness before work.

  2. I’m sorry but those letters clearly spell out DENBEDS, which sounds like what you’d find in a secret back room at She-bar

  3. My sexuality is apparently still costume, bc bi-multaneous thought on seeing that Stephanie Beatriz pic is…ooh how would I recreate that dress, what’s the cut of it?

  4. Raise your hand if you read “Guess who won the thirst trap award” and thought “if it isn’t Teddy Geiger I will eat my own hair”

  5. Some thoughts:

    1. I’ve been on a mini-emotional-rollercoaster for the past few minutes, trying to determine how I feel about our community’s endless ability to reference L Word no matter how much time passes. My final emotion was: thrilled.

    2. If Carol Burnett got the inaugural Carol Burnett award, doesn’t that mean that Dawn Denbo should have got an inaugural Dawn Denbo award?

    3. This should be the theme tune for the ceremony:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnjk_NGiihw

    4. As valentine’s season approaches, it would be remiss of me not to mention (and not at all a shameless plug) that if you have the good fortune of having a Lover Cindy, then you should probably get this card from my wife’s Etsy:

  6. After telling my gf about St. Vincent/Sleater-Kinney, I learned that she has never seen SK live before, so double yay! Hoping for a tour later this year as well. Can’t wait.

    Also, anyone else shocked/taken aback when hearing Stephanie Beatriz’s actual speaking voice?! I was expecting Rosa. lol

    • OMG I got so caught up in my excitement over a new album it didn’t even occur to me that there will have to be A TOUR!!!

      This news is the gift that keeps on giving

      • I know what you mean. I just hope its a tour and not a few festivals over the Spring/Summer/Early fall period as I rather not deal with other bands and their straight fans.

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