Hi friends! You know that phrase ‘this is why we can’t have nice things?’ I know you love to say it. I love to say it too. But you know what? I call bullshit. At least for you, and for me, and for our friends and our lovers and our Autostraddle family: I’m putting my foot down. We CAN have nice things. We (you!) deserve safety and shelter, and good books, and good sex, and all sorts of different kinds of love. We (you!) deserve friends, and crushes, and nudes on your phone, and cookies in your oven, and a fire in your hearth. WE CAN HAVE NICE THINGS. Go forth. Contain and deserve multitudes. I dare you.
This week, Janet kissed Janet…kissed Eleanor kissed Chidi on The Good Place.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year: Year-end round-up season! From Rachel, here are 50 of the best feminist books of 2018.
Kayla brought her For Your Consideration series home to nestle in our (sometimes broken) hearts.
Vanessa asked: what if single people got the wedding gifts we all deserve?
Speaking of things we all deserve, here are some classic sex toys you need in your life.
ALSO speaking of things we deserve, is Ellen coming back to stand-up?
Heather reviewed Dumplin’, which might be one of the best fat-positive movies I’ve seen this decade.
Have you been keeping up with But Make It Fashion? This series is about so much more than clothes, it’s about relationships and faith and addiction and humanity and I am SO into it! Read it. Read it!
And then then there were your comments!
On Boobs on Your Tube: Janet Smooches Janet Smooches Eleanor on “The Good Place”:
The Hit That Award to Lisa:
On NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Has Female-Presenting Nipples:
The Tank You Very Much Award to Snaelle:
On Holigay Gift Guide: Proof We Have the Perfect Merch for Every Kind of Gay:
The A to Z Award to Beth:
On A Heart Emoji by Any Other Name: A Brief Investigation of Flirty Emoji:
The Tinder Award to Sally and Stef:
And the Bleeding Heart Award to pips:
On For Your Consideration: For Your Consideration:
The For Your Consideration: Sincerity Award to Felicity:
And on Holigay Gift Guide: Fancy Wedding Gifts, but for Your Single Friend for the Holidays Instead:
The Nailed It! Award to Madeline:
See a comment that needs to be here? E-mail me! Queergirlblogs [at] gmail.com.
The “Nailed It” Award LOL !!
Also the Tinder award was the perfect match for that terrifyingly hot emoji.
I MEAN IT PALS YOU DESERVE ALL THE NICE THINGS
Thank you QG! Your words of wisdom were just what I needed to read today. We can have nice things! And we do have nice things! Because we have AS and this community. And it’s amazing to be part of it.
I’m still wandering around in a joyful daze – it’s been 3 weeks since my depression lifted and I still can’t believe how beautiful the world is and how amazing it is to be happy. I swear, I really didn’t think I was that depressed. But boy howdy, I’d forgotten what it’s like to not be depressed.
I’m afraid to light a fire in my hearth (it’s one of those gas fireplaces and the one and only time we lit it, it smelled like carbon monoxide).
But I’m definitely going to bake cookies while blasting Christmas carols this evening and it’s hard to get nicer than that.
Cleo! I am so glad for you! What kind of cookies are you gonna bake?
Zimtsterne / cinnamon star cookies! They’re naturally gluten free and delicious. It’s traditional to make them in star shapes but I like to use all of my holiday cookie cutters.
It takes like 3 cups of powdered sugar that goes everywhere so my kitchen will look like it snowed when I’m done.
Those look amazing! Would you like to share your recipe????
AS DO YOU QG
<3 <3 <3
The voice telling you you don’t deserve nice things is Grima Wormtongue. Ignore his ill counsel for he is a witless worm with a lying liar mouth, and BEAT him with big magical stick of NOT TODAY SAURON!
(it was so hard not to mash the battle speeches of Theoden and Aragorn together into one big fuck you internal and external Grima Wormtongues/Saurons of life and tack that on at the end)
Congrats to all the award winners! Very well deserved.
Also, YES, “this is why we can’t have nice things” is my least favorite idiomatic phrase in the English language. Just because you broke/lost one thing doesn’t ban you from all future niceness! It just reminds me of all the withholding parenting moves that drive me up a wall.
We all, even when we make mistakes, deserve love and good things without any defeatist shame attached to it.
(Sorry for the rant, I think about this a lot and then make small grumbling noises).
yes! I KNEW we were kindred otters!
Aww thanks, agreed! Kindred-otters-napping-in-the-ocean-while-holding-hands is one of those nice things we deserve.
See the “Bleeding Heart” award is just clear brilliance, but I think the “Tinder” award is the sleeper winner for maximal double entendre.
THANK YOU DANI ZZZZZ
Wow Felicity that was a really really nice comment. All the best to you
FELICITY <3 <3 <3
Thank you!! Seriously, all credit to Kayla. I wouldn’t be as okay and functional as I am right now without it and I could not be more grateful that she was willing to put herself out there and make me feel less alone.
GUYS I AM TEARING UP ON THE SUBWAY???
All credit truly goes to Kayla for putting herself out there, making me feel so much less alone, and validating doing whatever made me feel okay. I had been toying with commenting for a while, and when the most recent post was about naming your demons, it felt like a sign that it was time.
My walk is a week from Saturday and I definitely have to follow through now!
i am really excited for you for your walk!
7 year autostraddle reader, first time comment award winner, very grateful and joyous, thank you to rachel for writing the article and thank you to my ex girlfriend for being the co-author of the menstruation heart theory i love you all goodnight
ps i actually have bleeding hearts tattooed on me
pps the flower not the emoji
pips i had never heard of bleeding heart flowers before and now i am obsessed <3
I can’t believe I actually won a comment award, and it for being a fire hazard in my own kitchen! I’m so honored, and getting the Nailed It! award is too great. Thank you!!!