FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: What Are You Doing For Halloween?

What’s up, witches? Spooky season is upon us!

I was driving around this morning, and I couldn’t believe how beautiful the leaves looked! Shades of burgundy, candy apple red, golden dandelion, and sunburnt orange for as far as the eyes can see. The air has gone all crisp and it’s leaving the tip of my nose cold. Yesterday I wrapped myself in my favorite red and black checkered fleece scarf to run errands. FALL, GLORIOUS FALL.

September through November is my favorite time of the year. I love apple cider, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin spice (shhh! I know how cliché that makes me, it’s okay). Most importantly, October means Halloween!

Some have called Halloween the gayest of holidays, the time of our people. I get it. It’s the season of witches, of not being afraid of the shadows in the dark. It’s for the freaks and the weirdos and those happen to be my favorite folks.

We’re less than two weeks out from the big holiday, got plans yet? I know this makes me an outlier, but I’ve never been a huge fan of Halloween parties, probably because I’m such an introvert. But hey, you can hop in the comments and help change my mind! I do love a good costume, tell me all about yours! My favorite Halloween tradition is watching movies and drinking pumpkin beer. Have something similar in mind? I’m always willing to give out “scary, but not too scary” movie recommendations!

Looking for suggestions on anything from party planning and costumes to some “spooky reading” to get in the mood? Can I suggest our treasure trove of Halloween materials? We have MORE THAN 100 ARTICLES on the subject, just waiting for you dive in!

Here’s a few highlighted examples for you to enjoy:

Oh and Vanessa would very much like pictures of you in your Halloween costumes for this year’s Community Gallery! Please and thank you. Want to see last year’s submissions? You all look so good. It’s true!

Around the Autostraddle virtual office, everyone’s been falling head over heels for The Haunting of Hill House. Haunted Houses creep me the fuck out, but the show comes with the seal of approval from: Riese, Sarah, Valerie, Lex, Kayla, AND Rachel! I trust all of these babes to know what’s good. Meanwhile, I’m awestruck that Practical Magic turned 20 this year! Laneia recommended this article on the subject in yesterday’s “Also.Also.Also.” and I can’t stop thinking about it. Speaking of things that I can’t stop thinking about, did you know this fact?

How have I watched that movie over a dozen times and NEVER NOTICED a pint-sized, baby, Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual hanging out in the back corner? ?, indeed.

So get in these comments and tell me all about your Halloween plans! Heck, tell me about your entire week! Did you finally try out that new recipe that you’ve been craving? Pick up that pile of “clean” laundry from the chair in your bedroom? Are you, like me, a secret lover of all things Pumpkin Spice? I promise, I won’t tell.

I’ll be here, cleaning my house, making a pizza, and checking in to chat! I love you, and I’m so glad that you are here. ❤️?❤️?❤️

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Carmen Phillips

Carmen Phillips is Autostraddle's former editor in chief. She began at Autostraddle in 2017 as a freelance team writer and worked her way up through the company, eventually becoming the EIC from 2021-2024. A Black Puerto Rican feminist writer with a PhD in American Studies from New York University, Carmen specializes in writing about Blackness, race, queerness, politics, culture, and the many ways we find community and connection with each other.  During her time at Autostraddle, Carmen focused on pop culture, TV and film reviews, criticism, interviews, and news analysis. She claims many past homes, but left the largest parts of her heart in Detroit, Brooklyn, and Buffalo, NY. And there were several years in her early 20s when she earnestly slept with a copy of James Baldwin’s “Fire Next Time” under her pillow. To reach out, you can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram, or her website.

Carmen has written 716 articles for us.

109 Comments

  1. Halloween is not a big thing in my country and when it’s celebrated there’s always a push between feelings of THIS ISN’T OUR CULTURE WTF IMPERIALISM and BUT COSTUMES.

    My birthday is on a Monday this year so I’ll party on the 27th by going to a gay bar, dancing with friends and hoping to make out while dressed as reggaeton and latin trap star J Balvin. What can you do.

    This week’s been weird. I had a date cancelled at the last minute, got allergy flare ups because of all the spring pollen, then got two job prospects and a couple hours ago a girl I hooked up with in February apologized for ghosting me back in March. Again, WHAT CAN YOU DO

    I hope y’all make sure to stay on top of your breast self exams because breast cancer is still the scariest thing I think about in October, so go ahead and touch your boobs, and ask your loved ones to touch their boobs as well!

    Wish you happy boobs thoughts and a good weekend :)

    • I lived in the Dominican Republic for a bit in my early 20s and when Santo Domingo would decorate for Halloween “THIS ISN’T OUR CULTURE WTF IMPERIALISM and BUT COSTUMES” summed up my exact feelings!

      (I’m not Dominican, I’m Puerto Rican, so “our culture” wasn’t necessarily the exact same. But still! EFF IMPERIALISM!)

      I’m sorry to hear about your cancelled date, but HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!! I’m sure you are going to make a wonderful J Balvin!

      That whole February hook up, March ghosting, October apology story was a journey! Let me tell you.

      Wishing you and your boobs a great weekend!

  2. A few days ago I lost my job that I loved dearly where I worked with all of my very favorite people, and it’s dulled my Halloween spirit a bit. It makes me mad because I’ve been chomping at the bit to celebrate the fall season since before September!

    The sort of good news is one of my good friends and now ex-coworker told me about a Halloween party she’s having and I look forward to spending a night celebrating and partying with everyone.

    That being said, I would definitely love and appreciate any advice anyone might have re: bouncing back from a big life change and getting back in the Halloween spirit.

    • oh no katie! big hugs if you want them! i’m really sorry.

      You may have seen this before but here is puppy Cyrus (circa 2007) to cheer you up:

    • Hang in there Katie, I hope you find an awesome job soon. In the meantime keep warm, eat, sleep, do things to keep your body in good shape so your mind can feel better.

    • Katie I’m so sorry to hear this news. Sending you a lot of love and support ?

      And I hope, at the very least, you get to dig into some of your favorite Halloween candy this weekend, you 100% deserve it.

      • Losing a job you love is so hard! I lost mine a couple of months ago and I am still kind of reeling from it. I’ve been doing lots of (inexpensive) self-care, being gentle with myself when I have big feelings about it, relying on friends for support.
        This can also be a good time to recalibrate and think about other things you might want to do, or other places your skills can be applied. I’ve been doing that but have no answers yet.
        All the best to you and big hugs!

  3. I’m English and so we don’t relaly *do* Halloween, although there have been attempts to Americanise it over here, like everything else. We tend to have Bonfire Night instead, which is only a week or so later. But I never liked that, because fireworks scare me and when I was a kid, we would get a new book each instead, which is pretty cool!

    I’ve had a miserable week due to a sinus infection and a bad reaction to the antibiotics but only two more days until new Doctor Who, so yay for that! (And there was a lovely moment in last week’s ep where a male character said he lost his wife to the bad guy and a female character said “me too”!) All the feels!

    And when she sees her new TARDIS! I want to draw sparkly hearts around the whole scene! ♥

    • You got a present for Guy Fawkes night? Now I feel cheated that I didn’t. I didn’t even know that was a thing.

      • My parents did it as an alternative to us going to a bonfire event. It was unique to our family I guess.

    • I’m sorry to hear about your sinus infection, but SO GLAD that at least you have the new (and best) Doctor to keep you company!

      • Thanks! ♥ I’ve not see anything else Jodie was in e.g. Broadchurch because I’m not a big TV watcher but I’ve always been a Doctor Who fan and I feel seen in a way I didn’t before. I tried to tell my brother who is a bit of a typical male (sadly) that he couldn’t understand how that felt because he defaults to straight white male. I got a long pause on the phone and then he changed the subject. So he doesn’t get it.

    • I also loved the “nice move!” “Thanks! Venusian Aikido” moment because it felt very “cute dress!” “Thanks, it has pockets!” to me in the way that women talk to each other.

      Also I for sure re-watched that TARDIS scene 3 times. I regret nothing.

    • My Halloween plans are threefold:

      1) Watch Hocus Pocus for the first time (check)

      2) Run around a corn maze with my besties (coming up next week, woohoo!)

      3) Dress up as Steven Universe :D

  4. Happy Fridayyyy!
    Kristen Stewart is somewhere in my area shooting Charlie’s Angels and I might have to disguise as Stella Maxwell (they are still dating, aren’t they?) and walk to the set. Maybe I need to throw some Totinos over the fence. Or myself.

    Jokes aside: Halloween is my christmas but nobody celebrates it around here (apart from Straight People™ drinking and dancing to D’n’B wearing “sexy zombie”-costumes).
    So it’ll be just me, wearing my everday witchy wardrobe, watching the Addams Family films. And Practical Magic. I love the movie so much. The scenography, the cast, the House, Stevie Nicks!!! Yes to a sequel! Give me some ERWB in the queer update of the story! Give Gillian (Nicole Kidman) a girlfriend or a polyamourous relationship! I want to see what the aunts are up to! Aka: I need more fictional characters to live through.

    • Well a Halloween night of Addams Family films and Practical Magic is LEGIT MY DREAM SITUATION! Leave a space for me on the couch, I’ll be right over!

      (Leave two spaces, maybe we can convince K Stew to stop by!)

      Oh did you see the photos of her filming from earlier this week? Her character’s got to be gay, right? No way this person is straight.

  5. FOLKS. My wife and I just got real married last week. We looked perfect and since we are roughly the same size, we will be spending our Halloween dressed in each other’s wedding outfits.

  6. I don’t have any Halloween plans. Was suppose to do the Dark Harbor Halloween on the Queen Mary with a friend last Friday. However, it rained(with lightning which added to the mood), and didn’t find out it was closed for the night until we got there. The info on their page said rain or shine, but I guess that’s not the case. Instead we just went to the bar on the ship had a drink. The Queen Mary is beautiful(and from the same company that made the Titanic), but also a bit of an homage to British Colonialism(was used during WWII for the military).

    How is everyone’s week going? Mine has been fairly good. I spent time Sunday outdoors, driving and hiking. Then in the afternoon spent it with my bff(person I’ve been in something with for those who have been reading my posts). We just walked all over downtown area, had dinner and then drinks as we watched dog owners walking their dogs. We have plans to do New Years together at a kitschy place, but the issue is all the places we are looking is either too pricey, or sold out. Like there is a bud and breakfast in the mountains that has a John Waters themed room, Dolly Parton room, and honeymoon room with a heart shaped tub, but it’s all sold out, ugh. I also found out that Kate Pierson from the B52s has motel near Joshua Tree(and in NY) and people could stay in a themed classic trailer(like Planet Claire, and Hot Lava). I’ll have to see if my friend is down for that.

    It was still spring-summer like on Sunday. Saw a this interesting tree on my walk.

    At some point on my drive fog/clouds rolled in, before I saw the sun again at the beach.

    Thank you for viewing an dreading my post. Have a positive weekend!

    • Your pictures are one of my favorite parts about hosting the FOT every time! Hands down! You’re so talented, thank you for sharing that talent with us.

      Ugh I hate it when events that are supposedly “rain or shine” shut down without notice! That happened to me over the summer when I was supposed to see an outdoor production of the musical “In The Heights” and was pissed for days after! Let me tell you! At least you got to to drink on the ship, that sounds absolutely lovely :)

      • @needlesandpin, I am new to having an account here on AS, but I have been reading the Friday Open Threads for months & I always enjoy your posts and photos so much. You seem really sincere and kind. So thank you for sharing with us :)

        @c-p, I love In The Heights!!! Where was the outdoor production you were trying to see? Also, have you heard the exciting news that they are casting for the movie now? :D

        • @mathilde It was in Detroit. I actually got a few days later and it was phenomenal! I wasn’t expected much because it was a community presentation, but the talent just blew me away!

          I’m also lucky because I saw In The Heights with Lin Manuel all the way back in like ’08. I HAVE HEARD THE CASTING NEWS AND I’M SO EXCITED!! Anthony Ramos is such a stellar choice for Usnavi! Omg

      • You are too kind, thank you. I’m sorry that happened. I can imagine, I’m kind of irked they won’t refund me the money they claim I took a voucher which I didn’t at all. Would be nice to have gas money.

  7. My annual Halloween celebration is explaining to my parents, over the phone, that Halloween is a fixed date and not a “last Saturday” or “first Sunday” kind of deal.

    They live in a country that doesn’t actually celebrate Halloween, but where there’s enough entitlement and importing of American cultural capital that people dress up their kids anyway and go around expecting candy (although tricks have not been imported). But they don’t do this on actual Halloween – instead local Facebook mommy groups seem to decide which day is convenient for harassing the neighbourhood this year.

    • Oh when I lived in Pennsylvania they did that! (Deciding Halloween was on a random night that wasn’t actually Halloween) and it confused the heck out of me! I’m actually the kind of person that loves seeing kids in costumes and giving them candy, but doing it on October 27th or whatever… just felt like cheating.

  8. My kiddo last night decided that yes, she would go for a walk with me, but she was going to put her new jacket on backwards, put the hood up so it entirely covered her face, put her new fuzzy cat earmuffs on over the hood to keep it in place, and walk with her arm in mine. Seven is a great age for absurdist performance art; her biggest challenge was restraining her giggles enough to keep the hood on.

    I’m going with my usual Jedi costume for Halloween. Tunic, pants, boots, belt, paper-towel-holder-and-duct-tape light-saber hilt, long hooded wool cloak. Comfy and warm. Kiddo is going to be a vampire, minus the teeth because “they just bug me.” Mostly she is excited about her cloak and getting her fingernails painted sparkly black with sparkly red bits.

    • “My kiddo last night decided that yes, she would go for a walk with me, but she was going to put her new jacket on backwards, put the hood up so it entirely covered her face, put her new fuzzy cat earmuffs on over the hood to keep it in place, and walk with her arm in mine. Seven is a great age for absurdist performance art; her biggest challenge was restraining her giggles enough to keep the hood on.”

      Ok. This entire story is just TOO CUTE for words.

      I’m also excited for kiddo’s sparkly black fingernails with sparkly red bits! The best part of Halloween, truly.

      (A Jedi ain’t too shabby either ?)

      • I do not have her permission to post any of the pics I took but…wow, yeah, hardcore adorable. Said the unbiased judge. ;)

    • I love it! Enjoy!

      I’m so glad you run with her absurdities. I am still struggling with this; I always say that if it’s not dangerous or wildly inappropriate I’ll be ok. But I don’t always know where to draw the line. My older kidlet is 3.5 which I think is an age that involves a lot of absurdity. I’m so delighted by your story of the hood! A reminder to let go a bit.

      • Yeah I kinda figure when a limit needs to be set, I will most definitely set it. But since I am very firm about the limits I do set, I try not to set any unnecessarily. That approach has led to a lot of truly amazing fashion choices. :) Trust your judgment – if the worst that can happen is ridiculousness and/or minor injury and a Valuable Lesson Learned, go for it. You will get more giggles than you expect. And “Hmm, that’s interesting. What can you do about that?” or “What are your choices here?” goes a long way. I bet you are doing fine.

        • My almost 5 year old will only put hooded things on backward! He says it makes him invisible when he puts the hood over his face. Embrace the absurdity!

  9. I grew up in a country where Halloween isn’t really that big of a deal, BUT I was born in Salem (yes, that Salem) so I’m embracing that fact this year by doing a four-day ~spiritual Salem retreat~ with one of my favorite queerstrologers, Katie Alyse of Witch & Co.

  10. I’m going camping. Just me and my dog. I’m sick of people.

    Right now I am waiting for my nieces to get home. I’m responsible for them for 24 hours. I’ve never been in charge of kids more than 30 minutes at a time. I don’t like kids. I never wanted kids. I am bordering on terrified. Fortunately, they are old enough that they can entertain themselves. Also, they are somewhat articulate, so I don’t have to guess what they are saying.

    • Oh spending alone time with kids makes me so nervous!!! And I like kids (well as long as they are old enough to talk in relative complete sentences and go to the bathroom on their own). Still, put me in a room alone with them and my anxiety spikes through the roof!

      You got this Denise, I believe in you. Like you said, they are old enough to mostly entertain themselves. Don’t sweat it too much, talk to them like human people and respect their needs. One foot in front of the other and you will get through!

  11. This Halloween I’m going to a goth garage sale, a party at a friend’s house (she lives above a funeral home), and a Cider & Celtic event involving remixed Irish and Celtic music. I haven’t done much in the past due to living in the country, so I’m happy to have plans on my favourite holiday. For the party I’m going as a retro space person (think metallic bodysuit, cyclops glasses, purple hair, etc) and then as a witch for a laid back open mic later on.

    In other news, after spending a few days away at my partner’s, I’ve come home to find my room buzzing with wasps! Tonight after work will be spent trying to figure out where they’re coming from. My room is above the basement, so one theory is that they’ve come up threw the register. This is extra odd to wrap my head around because we had a light dusting of snow a couple days ago. Hope everyone has a great week, thank you for all the Halloween articles!!

    • Wasps in my bedroom is my worst kind of nightmare! I just full body shivered at the prospect.

      But hey, at least your Halloween plans sound spectacular? I hope you enjoy!

      (And that the wasps get out. Shudder. Shudder. Shudder.)

  12. Halloween isn’t a thing in my country… I’ll probably be revising for the Brazilian equivalent of the SATs and maybe crying due to the result of our elections.

    Lately I’ve been thinking about coming out as bissexual to my mom and brother… But they are very enraged all of the time and I’ve been getting really anxious.

    Anyways, I might be a stressed, sad and anxious queer, but at least my hair is looking pretty great

    • Whatever else happens, you hair IS LOOKING GREAT and I’m so proud of you for making it through the day. I promise. ❤️

    • I’m so worried about the Bolsonaro situation. And to think my great uncle moved to Brazil in the 70s because it was a safer environment for queer people!

      Coming out is always stressful, I hope things start looking up for you soon!

      • Yeah, things are not looking great in our politics… there are actually a lot of people afraid this election might be the end of our democracy (again).

        Brazil already isn’t a great place for lgbtq+ folks, but it might be getting worst in the next years… I wouldn’t be supraised if a lot of people decided to leave the country and ask for political asylum

  13. Where are my Halloween babies at?! It’s my time to celebrate turning a year older… while maybe dressing up by choosing a random costume the night before.

  14. I am doing the same thing I’ve done for years: buying an excessive amount of candy, “convinced” that this is the year we finally get some trick-or-treaters.

    (We never do.)

      • And mine! We usually just eat all the sweeties ourselves. But this year I think we’ll put out a pumpkin or some other signifier do that the trick or treaters come to ours. I think my kid is old enough to like it, and if she isn’t I’ll just take the pumpkin in and unplug the doorbell and we can eat chocolate for days like every other year.

  15. I don’t have any plans yet, I’m in class/working most of Halloween (and the next day so can’t stay up late). Probably going to also eat candy and watch not-so-scary movies, because food and movies is basically my go-to plan for any holiday.
    My week has been quite strange. I was on a writing retreat Monday-today and the nature was sooo perfect, so fall, so beautiful. But for being a writing retreat I really didn’t get much work done on my thesis, not in the way I needed to. I had a few productive bursts of writing but spent nearly a whole day being bogged down in academic and personal self doubt/angst. Then yesterday my nearly 8yr dream of being published here finally came to fruition and it still feels so unbelievably wonderful. I’m just a bit all over the place and I could have spent weeks staring at the fall trees reflecting in the lake at the retreat spot.

  16. I live in a big apartment building that has a lot of kids, so tenants can sign up in the lobby to give out candy. This is totally my thing, so I sign up, dress my dog as a taco, and give out candy to the small humans.

    This is Taco Bernie

    Last weekend, my sister came over, and we watched Hocus Pocus, with Bernie The Witch

    And we ate jack-o-lantern shaped Trader Joe’s oreos with orange-colored cream filling

    I’m currently sitting at work, listening to THE MONSTER MASH! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOFCQ2bfmHw

    I’m considering dressing myself in costume. I don’t know who/what I’d be, though. Maybe if Bernie is a taco, I’ll be a burrito? Or Tako (from ‘Girls’) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTptKhATg5w
    Taco/Tako

    Happy Halloweeeeeeeeen!!!

    • BERNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

      Can we talk about how perfect your dog is? Or how perfect your Halloween plans are? Because, honestly, I’m a little obsessed with both.

      When I lived in New York, passing out candy to kids in my building was so new and different for me, but also a lot of fun. (And my love of Hocus Pocus is SERIOUSLY well documented)

      Bernie is the best. It just had to be said again :)

  17. Hallooweeeeeeeeeen is a season and is one of my busiest times of the year? The weekend prior to Halloween is Wizarding Weekend in my city (www.wizardingweekend.com – come visit us!)and I’ve been involved in organizing parts of the festival since its inception. So I’ll be spending that weekend running the Gorgekeep School of Witchcraft and Wizardry at my library, including teaching my own class on Runes. There are all sorts of costumed balls and cosplay parties associated with the festival in the evening but I’m not sure if I’m going to any of them this year.

    Sunday evening a friend is throwing a Halloween party for which I’m excited to have a non-Harry Potter themed costume – I mean, I’m also dressing up as The Empress tarot card so maybe it’s a little HP themed? Tangentially.

    On Halloween itself I’m going to a friend’s to hand out candy to the neighborhood kids but then I’ll probably do a dumb supper or ritual in honor of my ancestors.

    The celebrations continue the following weekend – Saturday is a Roman-themed birthday party for a friend born on Halloween. Then Sunday evening my grove will do our actual Samhain ritual.

    I guess being a queer pagan in a city with a big festival means Halloween is bigger than Christmas. I mean, every weekend in October so far has also been full of fall fun and spooky events.

  18. I’m going to a party as the 13th Doctor, but that might be less a costume and more a new lifestyle choice.

  19. This weekend I will be attending a party dressed as unfridged lesbian Sloane “The Raven” from The Adventure Zone: Balance arc. Sadly, I do not have a Hurley to accompany, but I am pretty pleased with how my Gaia Sash looks.

    Next weekend, I am truly stepping up as the queer cousin to bring fashion witch looks to my cousin’s engagement party, which is some how on the Halloween weekend but not a masquerade or costume party. There is already a lot of black lace and a red wool cloak involved.

    • I’ll admit that I had no idea who Sloane “The Raven” was (I do know Adventure Time, but not as well as I should!), so I googled all of the words in your message and google gave me this:

      Is this who you are going as? Because this is pretty effing awesome!

      • Carmen: yes, Sloane is the taller one. Hurley is her gf and there are lots of desert motorcycle races, so kind of picture a sillier Mad Max with a bunch of goofballs and also cute lesbians?

        • Oooooh! A “a sillier Mad Max with a bunch of goofballs and also cute lesbians” sounds like an amazing time! I’m definitely going to look further into this.

          Thanks for the heads up!

    • Omg costume buddies!!! I came here to say I’m gonna be Lup!

      Only one of my friends in this city listens to the Adventure Zone, but I don’t CARE, I’m going to be her anyway.

      My sister is thinking about being Hurley, so if that’s the case, you’ll have a costume buddy in spirit! (In Boston, which is prolly not where you are… :P)

      I read a thing online where someone said “For four straight cis guys, the McElroys sure know how to embody a lot of chaotic gay energy” and like, mood.

  20. I just realized TODAY that the costumes-required party I’m going to is not next weekend but in fact is TOMORROW so I panic-planned an idea I can do from what I already own: I’m going to be Tonks who is imitating a Head Girl so she can go to Hosmeade for mischief. Jeans/sneaks, hufflepuff shirt, hufflepuff scarf, head girl pin, wand. Maybe I’ll spraypaint my hair a fun color too, for funsies.

    • Valerie Anne, I am sorry to have to tell you this, but if you are going as Tonks then spray painting your hair is a REQUIREMENT. No questions asked!!

      But also that sounds adorable and perfect! I hope you take pictures to share wit the class!

  21. Don’t know for sure what I’ll be doing yet.

    One of the things I might do is a Beetlejuice tribute at a karaoke bar that I know has the Banana Boat song. And drink the spiced rum if they still got it.

    Another is dress dogs up in costume and walk them.

    Another still is giving barmbrack a go or a mini chocolate layer cake with orange frosting. I just love the whole season and nah it’s not a secret I like pumpkin spice because I love spice. Everyone knows how much I love cinnamon in particular and that’s one of the components of pumpkin spice so of course.

    Last weekend I went to WWII Air, Sea & Land Festival and got to climb around in a B-17, achieving a childhood dream. Then I got to watch her fly.
    There were plenty of other planes, shiny little fighters, but the big beauties hold my heart.
    Oh and saw an adorable little tank.
    Also got my grubby little hands on paratrooper and RAF gear, really liked the convertible trowel.

    Then on Sunday I attended opera in the NOMA sculpture garden which is one of my favourite places.

    It was a great weekend and yesterday I made my fancy dinner that is infact a very lazy dinner, but when you simmer chicken thighs in diced tomatoes and wine it comes out very fancy looking and delicious.

    This weekend I was supposed to help escort my grandmother to a wedding of one my distant cousins but it’s a two person job now and the 2nd person who is also the wheels is unable to travel due to a minor surgery. There’s going to be some tension at the reunion activity this year, but honestly a 9 hour train ride with my grandmother and just not feasible.
    She’ll let me practically carry her, make her coffee but any bathroom issue is too humiliating for her to ask me for help and it’s a real concern she’d hurt herself in someway instead of asking for help if I’m the only person to ask.

    • Sending a lot of warm vibes to you and your grandma Lex! ❤️ Helping to caretake for older family members is love work, but not easy work, you know?

      (Also, not switch subjects abruptly, but Beetlejuice tribute at a karaoke bar sounds freaking phenomenal! And I’m glad you got to see a B-17 fly even though I have no real idea what that means! But still, I’m happy for YOU buddy.)

      • Yep it’s not easy work, it can be very frustrating. Aging “gracefully” is hard for people use to being 100% independent especially for ones that grew up in a time where disability was shameful and unspeakable.

        It’s just a bit of dancing and sings the Banana Boat song, hopefully coherently.

        Oh I didn’t just get to see her fly, I got to climb inside and touch while she was grounded.

        A B-17 is a WWII heavy bomber, a flying fortress.
        104 ft wings span, 75 ft long, 4 engines, with a total six gunner positions from nose to tail.
        With 4 engines she’s a loud flyer of course but compared to other heavy bombers she purrs. There’s meaner and faster heavy bombers but as weird as I know it sounds is there’s something soothing to me about B-17s.

        Best picture of one with both wings in the shot google images could cough up

  22. When I was a kid, I would plan my costumes out MONTHS in advance. I was never really interested in being a recognizable character – I preferred to be random people and/or objects that made grownups confused. After we studied Mozart in 4th grade music class, I dressed up as Salieri for Halloween, because nothing is scarier than the guy who “killed” Mozart. In 5th grade, I was a clock with wings because time flies, you guys. One year in high school, I really wanted to do a group costume based on Candyland, but my friends wanted to be “slutty Catholic schoolgirls.” So I went as Lord Licorice, by myself, to spite(?) them. Is there anything gayer?

    This year, I’m not really feeling Halloween. I don’t have a fun costume planned. I don’t have any parties to go to. Plus, it’s hard to get excited about holidays when you’re depressed. It has been a really rough year. I lost a job I loved dearly, I’ve been rejected over and over again from opportunities in my field (theatre), and my close friends all live in other states. And I’m writing about it here because today I got yet another rejection, and I noticed that one of my previous colleagues unfriended me on Facebook, which is making me question my self-worth. And look, I’m not totally alone, I’m making ends meet, and I’m finding the strength to continue applying for other opportunities that come up… but it still really sucks. Life is turning out to be so much harder than I ever thought it would be, and I feel so stupid for ever thinking it would be easy.

    Please send pictures of big dogs and fluffy cats.

    • Let me tell you something Bex: YOU ARE WORTH IT. AND YOU ARE HERE. AND THAT IS SOMETHING.

      ????

      I’m so happy to be here with you on a Friday night, my friend.

      Ok, per your request, here’s a cute big dog and a fluffy cat


      They told me that they love you, too.

      • Carmen, thank you. I find myself crying on public transit for the second time today – this time, because of your kindness. ❤️ I don’t know yet how I’ll make it through this… but I will.

        Thanks also for the beautiful floofy animals. I love them with all my heart.

    • Here is Colonel Meow

      The face he is making expresses how I a stranger feel about your colleagues’ mistake, may his fluffy ghost shred their curtains.
      Cause anyone who was clever enough to come up with an idiom costume in 5th grade is a person worth knowing.

      Don’t feel stupid, I grew up believing life would be hard, that if I were really smart I’d seek death instead, and I still have felt sucker punched by how hard it is sometimes. But you’re alive, living in the world and that’s the already the hardest thing to do. Don’t give up, if one path isn’t working, find another just keep going.

      Upside down newfie.

    • You dressed up as Salieri? In FOURTH GRADE? And then a clock with wings?? How are people not rushing to friend you left and right and hire you all over the place, what is this nonsense! Bah! Hang in there, my awesome-friend-I-barely-know. When you do get a job let us know and we will all be like “Yeah whatever, WE knew Bex _before_ all the fame.”

  23. To be honest Halloween isn’t a holiday I enjoy, although I enjoy the fall season. As a kid there were only a handful of times I went trick-or-treating when I wasn’t sick. I was told to stop trick-or-treating at 10 because I was getting to old. As an adult there were actually a few times on Halloween when I got my period, which sucks but honestly it sucks getting it on any holiday. I have no kids, I also never have trick-or-treaters and I have no friends so I’m not going to a party. I know there’s more to the holiday than the horror, blood and gore but those things don’t interest me. I can’t stand haunted houses and I’m not really a huge horror movie fan. So to answer your question I’m not doing anything for Halloween.

    • But do you like chocolate?
      Cause Halloween and the day after all the pretty much all the candy is discounted including chocolate, but the best time to really stock up on discounted chocolate is Valentines Day and the day after.

      Nearly every holiday in America you can get discounted candy out of it.
      Even the 4th of July.

      • Oh. I know candy is always half-off after every holiday. I recently gained some weight and my clothes don’t fit me like they used to so I don’t think I need any chocolate or candy for a while.

    • Hey you know Ashley, NOT being into the Holiday is pretty A-Ok in my book, too!

      To quote the famous Autostraddle catchphrase: You Do You.

      (Hope you find something to have fun doing this month, even if not Halloween related!)

  24. The people of Boulder, CO will take absolutely any excuse to dress up and act ridiculous, so there’s never a lack of things to do on Halloween. Several friends are having house parties, but I also love going to Pearl Street and just enjoying everyone’s costumes and the general festive atmosphere.

    I am excited to continue my tradition of dressing up as something from a podcast* by being Lup from The Adventure Zone: Balance arc. All y’all nerdy queers who haven’t listened to this yet, I highly recommend it. There’s a graphic novel now too!

    *I’ve also been the Void from Welcome to Night Vale, but that’s not exactly a recognizable costume. It was basically just a lot of sparkly silver stars. ✨

    • You are the SECOND person on this thread to be doing something “Adventure Zone: Balance arc” themed this Halloween!

      Clearly, I need to catch up and watch it! I don’t want to be left out of the loop!

    • “the Void from Welcome to Night Vale” – it’s a good thing I wasn’t drinking anything ’cause I’d’ve spit it all over my screen. That’s awesome. :)

  25. I will be in the ICU so removable costumes are probably what I need to look for- in the event of a code you probably don’t want to be intubated by a doctor dressed as a Unicorn. OR MAYBE YOU DO.

    • OR MAYBE I DO. What then, huh?

      (Personally a Unicorn doctor would definitely put me at ease, but I can’t speak for your patients. OR MAYBE I CAN??)

    • S: “Can’t breathe.”
      O: Acronyms here!
      A: Jargon here!
      P: Intubate while dressed as unicorn.

      Remember, if it wasn’t documented, it wasn’t done! ;)

  26. I’m really looking forward to The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina!

    There was an article published on here a while ago about witches and it brought back a desire to get back into Wicca. So I ordered a book (Wicca: a guide to modern witchcraft and Wicca by Harmony Nice) and it should arrive on the 31st. Seems fitting. I’ve also been watching her YouTube channel and it’s very informative.

    Lastly, this is completely unrelated but I’m seeing Taylor Swift (first time ever, beyond excited!) in a few weeks and then I’m getting married!

    • Congratulations on your-almost wedding date!!

      And thank you for bringing The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina back to my forefront! I’ve been waiting for months, I can’t believe I almost forgot.

      Awww look, it’s almost your wedding and yet here you are, bringing me gifts!

  27. Speaking of pumpkin spice I have a pumpkin pie bar recipe, but I don’t do it until November because I’m warding off the commercialized thrust of Christmas in our collective faces with STILL PUMPKIN SEASON energies.
    I use pumpkin spice cheerios as the crust for a extra dash of fuck you it’s still fall.

    Here’s a pumpkin spice recipe:

    3 tablespoons ground cinnamon(try ceylon or saigon someday)
    2 teaspoons ground ginger
    2 teaspoons nutmeg
    1/2 teaspoons ground allspice
    1/2 teaspoons ground cloves

    Shake them up in a 3 oz lidded airtight container like a heathen or stir with a fork or knife and feel vaguely witchy.

    • That sounds DELISH and you bet I’m going to whip this up! Yes, I am.

      Also I am very much Team November is Still Fall! I don’t believe in starting Christmas until the day after Thanksgiving, and not a minute more!

  28. I was making rounds, watching how the week went around some late-night shows and let me tell you, sometimes irony is just a big pain in the ass.

    Here we have Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, with a bunch of morons (except 2) that don’t give a shit about voting (By the way, thank you, Coca-Cola woman for not voting)…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYRszdp3c6w

    And then The Daily Show with Trevor Noah about how “democratic” your Democracy is with voter supression. And yes, his solution makes sense…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQft4Rr5J-k

  29. Well, I hope tomorrow I will no see this here just in a round-up of links: “…the Department of Health and Human Services… proposed definition would define sex as either male or female, unchangeable, and determined by the genitals that a person is born with, according to a draft reviewed by The Times. Any dispute about one’s sex would have to be clarified using genetic testing…”

    https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/21/us/politics/transgender-trump-administration-sex-definition.html

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