Maybe having sex on your period is your favorite thing. Maybe on your period you just want to curl up with your laptop on your uterus, or maybe you don’t get a period at all, but you love getting down when someone else has hers. Maybe you’re super into period sex as long as it’s not on day one. Maybe you’re super into period sex only if it’s on day one. Maybe you’re in a lesbian relationship and you might get your period and your girlfriend might gets hers and what if they’re synced and you’re horny or they’re at different times and then a chunk of the available time in which to fuck in any month is taken up by somebody’s period, and does that mean you don’t even get down? No it does not! It means you see what your body is into and what her body is into and you go from there. That’s right. Today we’re talking about lesbian period sex.

How To Bring Up Period Sex

The best way to bring up period sex is with a conversation. Try something simple like, “My period makes me super horny – how do you feel about period sex?” or “I don’t really like sex on my period, but I love it on someone else’s,” and talk about it. Remember that different women feel differently about periods; you might feel gross or just too crampy to move while someone else might feel like a sexed-up deity, and in your conversation make sure to talk about your own experiences without assuming your partner shares them and without body shaming.

Period Sex and Menstrual Products

If you’re on your period and want to get penetratively or orally fucked but also don’t want blood to get everywhere, you have a few options. The Flex cup is a disposable, flexible menstrual cup marketed specifically for wear during period sex. Diaphragms go directly over your cervix, which means they’re the most mess-free option, but since they need to be fitted they’re probably not worth it just for period sex if you’re not already using them for birth control, and they’ve also been linked to toxic shock syndrome if used during period sex. Soft tampons are single-use, individually packaged sponge tampons made of a body-safe material. They’re more expensive than just using a makeup sponge for a few hours, but makeup sponges also aren’t necessarily safe because they aren’t meant for internal use, aren’t sterile, and are often made from polyester which can cause toxic shock syndrome. Sea sponges aren’t a perfect idea for similar reasons even though they can feel more “natural,” and, from personal experience, they can also feel like you’re exfoliating the inside of your vagina and leak blood if you sneeze, clench, or come. But they can also work really well for some bodies so do your research and use your judgement.

If you’re on your period and you want to fuck someone else or not be penetrated or get fully naked, you can try any of the above or your usual tampons, cups, pads, reusable pads or whatever. You can also try period underwear, either as-is or comfortably under a strap-on harness. (And if you get extra sensitive and a strap-on harness digging into your vulva on your period gets uncomfortable, wearing period underwear underneath it can give you an extra cushion.) Check out Luna Pads for options for a few different gender presentations, Thinx for a wider range of options (but unideal politics), or Dear Kate for lighter days or looks that are tomboy femme or femmier.

Use Dark-Colored Sheets and Sex Toys

Get messy! Put down a dark towel, try a waterproof Liberator Throe, bring out the dark-colored sheets and dark-colored sex toys if you have them, and get down. If the blood bothers one or both of you visually, try turning off the lights or using a blindfold. Keep an extra towel around for easier cleanup and you’re set.

You can also use white sheets and no period products and roll around and exalt in the blood in beams of golden sunlight. Live your patriarchy-smashing lesbian sex vampire dreams.

Shower Sex

Period sex can be a great excuse to have shower sex, as if you need one. The hot water can help with cramps and you don’t have to worry about clean up because you’re already in the shower, which is especially great if you both get periods and sync up. Make it safer with an anti-slip bathtub mat or suction grips if your shower is super slippery. And remember to use a good silicone lube — even though period blood can keep things wetter than normal, it washes away under the water.

Anal Sex

For penetration without a vagina that’s up for it, try anal sex. Remember to go slow, use a ton of lube, and use gloves for safety.

Think Outside Your/Her Box

Lesbian sex is awesome because it doesn’t have to look one way. There’s oral sex — with a dental dam for safety, or with a strap-on if you want to totally remove blood from the equation. There’s sticking to fingers and clits or vibrators and clits. There’s using a vibrator over your period underwear. There’s mutual masturbation if you want to have sex but also don’t feel like being touched simultaneously. There’s grinding all over each other and then taking a nap. There’s deep endless fucking, obviously. There are a million kinky things you can do. Think outside the (or your or her) box.

What To Do About Sensitivity

Estrogen drops right before and during your period, which can make your pain tolerance drop, too. Be gentler and check in with each other to see how different types of touches feel, and don’t assume that if something works during non-period sex it will work the same way during period sex. For pain-related kinky stuff, definitely start a little slower and lighter than normal until you both adjust to your current pain threshold.

Lesbian Period Sex and STIs

Lesbians can give each other STIs, and two people with uteruses can also give each other STIs. One study of heterosexual cis women found that period sex might be associated with higher STI transmission. What does this mean for your period sex? Everyone should get tested for hepatitis and HIV, and you should practice your usual safer sex with gloves and dental dams and condoms if applicable, and then you should feel free to go forth and fuck.

Lesbian Sex 101 is Autostraddle’s series on how to have lesbian sex for queer women and anyone who finds this information applicable to their bodies or sexual activities.

Sex ed almost never includes queer women or our experiences, so we’re exploring pleasure, safety, relationships and more to make that information more accessible. A lot of the language in these posts is intended to make them easy to find on search engines.

Some of the body parts we talk about will be yours or your partners’ and some won’t. Some of the pronouns will be yours or your partners’ and some won’t. Some of the sexualities will be yours or your partners’ and some won’t. Some of the language will be yours or your partners’ and some won’t. Take what you want and what applies to you or what you can make apply to you and your partners and your experiences, and leave the rest!

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