Feature image via #homagetomyhips; director Ryan Pearson, photography by Reel Clever Films, makeup by Crea Hardaway.
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Lex Lethal via Craig Mac
+ It can be really hard to talk about what you want with partners. At the Establishment, Katie Blabusich discusses why, talking to Reid Mihalko, who notes:
“To start investigating having the sex that you want, [start from the] understanding that we all, for the most part, think we’re broken. We all, for the most part, have some sort of shame and guilt around pleasure because of culture. […] You have to hear the voices in your head, which is easy for those of us who are hyper aware—you can’t escape it. But when you realize ‘Oh, this is what’s happening,’ and then you realize it’s happening to everybody, then what happens is that you have an immediate way to connect with everybody and to start absolving yourself…You get to realize nothing’s wrong.”
+ “I promised myself I would stop stealing and focus on replacing the feelings with something a little healthier: singing karaoke, doing open-mics, and nude modeling.” At the Billfold, Molly Boersma writes about thrill seeking, nude modelling, and how all naked women are beautiful:
“It’s hard to not admire the body of a naked woman. A few weeks before I modeled, I started as a fellow drawer (I would never call myself an artist) at an art guild I would be modeling for. Do you know how beautiful all naked women are, in all their shapes and sizes? Clothes hide the natural and unique folds and curves of our body fat; when woman are naked, you can appreciate the extraordinary softness of their voluptuousness. When I was drawing a naked woman, over and over in my head the same two thoughts play: ‘She is so beautiful!!! Oh my god!’ and ‘This is so hard!!! Oh my god!'”
Paula Martin Pelaez photographed by Raul Bateman
+ Feeling too emotionally disconnected and bored to have adult relationships after the initial lustre tarnishes? Bear has advice:
“Getting real with someone is emotionally unstable and exhausting territory, because when we like a person we want them to like us back. So we often try to present our best face for as long as possible. We minimize hard or bad things and pump up the nice stuff and when our hard or bad stuff gets too big to ignore we disengage for a day or two until we can stuff it all back in the box. […] Eventually, though, the day comes when you have to fart in front of the person, when you get busted throwing away a used Ziploc bag instead of responsibly washing it out and re-using it, when your real accent or your real hair color or your real feelings about mid-century modern furniture come out. Or maybe it’s the day when you cannot hold your temper any longer, when something hard goes down and you can’t maintain and you don’t wash your hair or put on pants for three days, when you can’t handle the world news so much that you spend all the grocery budget on shrimp cocktail and prosecco which means you’re eating one meal a day but you’re eating it in someone’s nicer life.
That’s when things get real. When everyone comes face to (slightly greasy) face with the unvarnished parts of their person. The good news is that the unvarnished parts are softer, they have character and grace, they will wear long and weather well and beautifully. The unvarnished parts are where the intimacy happens, the long trust, the daily habits that add up to in-jokes and finishing one anothers’ sentences.”
Rigging and photography by galaxxxia (flickr), model @usagi-ojo
+ The history of early American sex education includes hygienists and purity reformers and an agreement to “break the ‘conspiracy of silence’ around sexuality through educational campaigns.” At Notched, Kristy L. Slominski discusses the forces behind early sex education, and how they still impact sex education today.
+ Is sex positivity alienating?
+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen reviews Doxy Die Cast, which is like a regular Doxy but covered in metal, noting: “You don’t get the Die Cast because it out-performs the regular version. You use it because that heavy, metal weight and smooth, cold surface is just so satisfying and pleasurable to hold.”
+ How do you remember who you’ve slept with? (I use Evernote and iCal.)
+ Bi women aren’t your sex unicorns.
+ A Pokémon Go dating app has arrived.
+ Some young and mostly queer couples talked about how much they like their partners at Teen Vogue.
+ The most popular emoji on Tinder is the blushing smiley face. Praying hands, the globe, dancing girls and food emoji are also popular.
@cincycal513 + @ynwadanielle via rodeoh
+ Are you queer and poly? A new Autostraddle series will explore how queer polyamory functions, how it feels, what it looks like and more. Tell me about your life and you might be featured!
So I was discussing the rodeoh at a party last night, and I’m still not convinced I have a need for it. HOWEVER, the brand’s submission-based ad campaign just continues to be my favorite thing. #swoon
I can’t even tell you how much I needed to read that Bear article. The possibility that I’m just not capable of progressing past the Honeymoon Stage without losing interest and growing resentful might be my single biggest fear in life. Thanks for including it!
The link photo for this article is so beautiful and so needed. Who do we credit for it?
Not big on Erica Moen after finding out she fetishizes trans men, and she and her (cis)husband are know to gawk and queer in the streets.
She wrote a comic fetishizing trans men in 2009, and apologized in 2012: http://www.darcomic.com/2009/02/17/transmen/
I’ve been reading Oh Joy Sex Toy from the beginning and she definitely makes a point of including a variety of body types, gender presentations, races, dis/abled status, etc. in this series. And uses language carefully to not be trans-erasing. I mean, I can’t tell other people what to be cool with, but to me she’s someone whose work I’m okay liking.
The fact that she’s keeping that comic up on the sole basis of keeping the strip whole… ? Fuck that. That’s a half-assed apology that exploits the transgression in the first place. Not impressed.
That’s a valid stance to have. I agree that what she did was NOT okay, and I’m glad she was held accountable for fetishizing trans men. It does sound like she’s acknowledged wrongdoing and accepted responsibility for her actions. We need to hold people accountable, but also make room for people to make mistakes (IF they take responsibility and don’t make excuses). Not saying everyone HAS to be a fan of Moen’s work, of course.