No Filter: Lena Waithe Got You An Americano, Left Room For Almond Milk

Welcome back to No Filter, where we give thanks for all the pictures Tegan and Sara posted of their cats this year. This week, Samira Wiley didn’t post any good selfies because she doesn’t love me and doesn’t want me to be happy, but that’s OK because a lot of other celebrities took carefully-curated photos of their mega-glamorous private lives and posted them on the internet for their adoring fans. There are enough heart-eye emojis to go around. Let’s start things off by objectifying Brittani Nichols and go from there.

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I would be remiss if we didn’t kick things off with a sample of how goddamn goodlooking Brittani Nichols looks in her festive new Autostraddle sweater.


Not pictured: Leisha Hailey’s upstairs neighbor banging on the floor and threatening to call the cops.

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I just keep picturing Ruby Rose’s assistant or friend or whoever when she was like, “Hey, can you take a picture of me staring pensively out the window real quick? I wanna look deep in thought.” Caption this, GO.

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Janet Mock met Tyler Ford and THIS IS HOW CUTE IT WAS.


Sleater-Kinney met Shamir. I mean, Shamir met Sleater-Kinney. Everybody in this picture is a winner.

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At long last, I can finally tell Tegan and Sara apart.

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I’m here for Trace Lysette in this suit. BYE.


Jasika Nicole spent this week building her own weaving loom and making ceramics, so in her spare time she also helped mastermind this very unsettling gluten-free fabric. We get it, Jasika, you’re good at everything forever.


Lastly, here is your girlfriend Lena Waithe. Here’s what she would look like if she took you on a coffee date. She’d put her arm around you while you waited in line for the barista, she’d double check to make sure they used almond milk in your latte, and she’d be a good tipper. I can just tell.

Join us next week, when Leisha Hailey learns the mandolin and strums it gently beneath your bedroom window.

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Stef

Stef Schwartz is a founding member and the self-appointed Vapid Fluff Editor at Autostraddle.com. She currently resides in New York City, where she spends her days writing songs nobody will ever hear and her nights telling much more successful musicians what to do. Follow her on twitter and/or instagram.

Stef has written 464 articles for us.

6 Comments

  1. Brittani Nichols is a fox.

    I wish I had an assistant-girlfriend to take photos of me in my bra staring pensively out windows.

  4. You can never stop writing this column because I personally find your captions so hilarious every damn time

  5. Ruby Rose was actually just perfecting the art of the selfie stick.

    Also, thanks for providing another occasion to objectify Brittani Nichols.

Comments are closed.