The lull between summer TV season and fall TV season is a good time to evaluate where we are on television, in terms of queer female representation. As Autostraddle CEO + Editor-in-Chief Riese mentioned last week, we’re moving away from counting gay characters now; it’s time to talk about quality, not quantity. So while we await new episodes of our favorite regular season shows, we thought it would be a good time to address the thing you really care about: Which lesbian/bisexual TV characters would be the best to U-Haul with? And so we’ve evaluated every major recurring lesbian/bi character that currently has a place on American television and ranked them in order of Most U-Hauling Potential to Least U-Hauling Potential!
Off limits: Stef and Lena, The Fosters
Sorry, they belong together forever; you’re not invited.
Off limits: Nomi and Amanita, Sense8
They’re too in love to ever U-Haul with anyone but each other.
46. Sara Harvey, Pretty Little Liars
Pros: None.
Cons: Literally the most boring human being on earth. Takes too many showers.
45. Piper Chapman, Orange Is the New Black
Pros: Good at crafty, Pinterest-style home decorating projects.
Cons: Is a narcissistic abyss of Slytherin schemes and unquenchable insecurities.
44. Tituba, Salem
Pros: V. skilled in magic, could whip up healing potions, etc. in a snap if you’re feeling under the weather.
Cons: Worships the literal devil and would always be doing murder around the house and leaving blood and guts everywhere.
43. Barbara Kean, Gotham
Pros: Knows Batman.
Cons: Is a manipulative psychopath with no qualms about killing even her own family. Wouldn’t be able to spend much time together as she now resides in Arkham Asylum.
42. Rose, Jane the Virgin
Pros: Really hard worker, master entrepreneur; making rent would never be a problem. Interested in having sex in new and exciting places.
Cons: Deals drugs, kidnaps babies.
41. Tara, The Walking Dead
Pros: Loyal, savvy, strong will to survive.
Cons: Too much exposure to the zombie apocalypse, would need lengthy period of re-socialization, similar to a feral cat.
40. Audrey, Scream
Pros: Would stay up all night watching old movies with you and discussing themes of sexism, homophobia, etc.
Cons: Potentially would murder you, as she potentially did to her first girlfriend and others.
39. Faith, UnREAL
Pros: Sweet, really looking to take things to the next commitment level no matter what it takes.
Cons: Will be suffering from reality TV PTSD for the rest of her life.
38. Reagan, Faking It
Pros: Fun! Loyal! Really willing to get in it with you and help you work through your stuff and love your family even though they make her crazy.
Cons: Believes her own singular anecdotal experience of dating a bisexual woman who left her for a man is universal, never wants you to ever have even looked longingly at another human before you met her.
37. Emily Fields, Pretty Little Liars
Pros: Lots of lived experiences, plenty of stories to share. Pretty good at cooking. Deep, deep empathy for everything you’re going through at all times.
Cons: You’ll be murdered for absolute sure.
36. Shay, Orphan Black
Pros: Willing to take on all your significant baggage, into romantic gestures like bringing you breakfast in bed, basically a living ASMR video.
Cons: But like do you really know her? Do you?
35. Lena, Ray Donovan
Pros: Is Shane 2.0.
Cons: Is Shane 2.0.
34. Nicky Nichols, Orange Is the New Black
Pros: Will always make you laugh, even in her most nihilistic spirals. Sees through the bullshit to the heart of things.
Cons: In perpetual Self-Destruct mode.
33. Sameen Shaw, Person of Interest
Pros: Willing to take a literal bullet for you. V. tech savvy, could figure out how to get all the remotes to work with just one remote.
Cons: Occasional psychotic tendencies.
32. Lt. Alisha Granderson, The Last Ship
Pros: A smart, hard worker with a golden soul.
Cons: Lives on a spaceship a billion lightyears away.
31. Delphine, Orphan Black
Pros: If you’ve got a problem, yo, she’s solved it. Like waking up next to a puppy every morning. Actual genius human, would talk you down every time you self-diagnosed cancer after visiting Web MD.
Cons: Potentially is dead, you might have to U-Haul with her ghost.
30. Lexa, The 100
Pros: Resourceful, probably could make dinner out of just some crackers and one condiment. Good at looking at the big picture. Enjoys a good give-and-take.
Cons: Is pretty sure love is a weakness, slave to justice.
29. Alex Vause, Orange Is the New Black
Pros: All overshadowed by letting Piper Chapman ruin her life on repeat.
Cons: Has also ruined Piper Chapman’s life on repeat.
28. Karma, Faking It
Pros: When she gets you, she gets you. When she loves you, she loves you.
Cons: Paralyzing inability to make up her mind, inexplicable fondness for one-dimensional straight white oafish man-children.
27. Nyssa al Ghul, Arrow
Pros: You’ll be safe here.
Cons: Her family is a real piece of work.
26. Luisa Alver, Jane the Virgin
Pros: Loyal and compassionate, super smart and super rich(!).
Cons: Dating a MMA fighter who could destroy you, hasn’t quite conquered her addictive tendencies yet.
25. Big Boo, Orange Is the New Black
Pros: Will go to war for you, can stretch a penny for a mile, not afraid of some sexual experimentation.
Cons: Actually kind of likes going to war?
24. Alison DiLaurentis, Pretty Little Liars
Pros: Has several billion dollars stashed away in various hidey-holes. Has a pilot’s license which will make for easy weekend getaways. Can hold her breath for hours. Knows at least one real witch.
Cons: Lives in a graveyard, potentially suffering from having her brain completely wiped clean.
23. Madame Vastra, Doctor Who
Pros: Always up for an adventure, not scared of any bumps in the night or bugs or anything like that.
Cons: Not really good at knowing what hurts a human lady’s feelings.
22. Root, Person of Interest
Pros: Once you have her heart, it is yours forever. V. good with computer things, could deal with all your wireless router troubles without blowing a gasket.
Cons: Hot-tempered a little bit, likes killing a little bit also.
21. Bo Dennis, Lost Girl
Pros: Doesn’t mind gettin’ into a little trouble.
Cons: Is always gettin’ into trouble.
20. Tiana, Empire
Pros: Would fill your house with the most beautiful music from her own personal vocal chords! Friends with Cookie Lyon!
Cons: Hakeem up in your business forever.
19. Clarke, The 100
Pros: Believes in your power, will never leave you behind to save herself if your apartment catches on fire, thrifty, good at medicine things, good at looking on the bright side even in the most dire circumstances.
Cons: Kind of also thinks love is a weakness.
18. M-Chuck, Survivor’s Remorse
Pros: Loves to laugh, steadfast and true in her love for you, will not tolerate homophobic bullying, up for making out in church even.
Cons: Really, really wrapped up in her family’s drama.
17. Betty, Masters of Sex
Pros: Like living with Luna Lovegood, kind of.
Cons: Her boss is the worst and she has a hard time leaving her work at work.
16. Amy, Faking It
Pros: Loves deeply and foreverly, a perfect mix of sweetness and sass.
Cons: Probably never going to be over falling for her best friend in high school, to be honest.
15. Suzanne, Orange Is the New Black
Pros: You’ll never need to spend money on books; she’ll write a whole library for you. Really likes to keep things tidy, doesn’t mind doing the hard housework. Her wisdom will blow you away probably every day.
Cons: Startled by intimacy, weirdly over-involved parents.
14. Cosima Niehuas, Orphan Black
Pros: Probably could invent a robot to do all the cooking and cleaning. Will go on ice cream runs in the middle of the night. Her smile would be your alarm clock, like the sun gently waking you up to begin each new day.
Cons: She’s been dying for a while.
13. Abby Isaacs, Manhattan
Pros: An ardent, devoted companion; ready and willing to try all kinds of new lesbian things she’s never tried before; just wants to make a happy home for you.
Cons: Married to a guy building an atomic bomb.
12. Arizona Robbins, Grey’s Anatomy
Pros: Failed first marriage has given her some perspective about what’s important in life. Really wants a comfortable, happy home. Very good with kids and probably pets also.
Cons: A little bit blame-y about things that aren’t your fault, workaholic.
11. Sophia, Orange Is the New Black
Pros: A hard worker who likes to laugh and also have deep discussions, willing to go the extra hundred miles for people she loves, unwilling to compromise on her principles. Just wants a quiet life with the people she loves most.
Cons: Love sometimes blinds her.
10. Brenna, Chasing Life
Pros: Has Her Shit Together, knows what’s important in life, stands up for what’s right even if it’s not popular.
Cons: Her (very valid) fear of losing the things she loves might make her a little clingy.
9. Tamsin, Lost Girl
Pros: Loves with a love that lasts forever, and she should know because she’s immortal. All the best qualities of all the best roommates you’ve ever had.
Cons: Sometimes has to travel to hell for extended periods of time for work.
8. Soso, Orange Is the New Black
Pros: Knows what she wants out of life now, treasures the moments that matter, ready to make a life with someone who deserves her.
Cons: Impulsive, occasionally gets pulled into a cult.
7. Gail Peck, Rookie Blue
Pros: She’s got a good career and a good heart and she’s done playing the game. She’s ready to settle down, start a family even.
Cons: 100 times out of 100, she chooses to listen to her gut instead of her brain.
6. Paige McCullers, Pretty Little Liars
Pros: Wants to spend time nesting but also hitting up diners and eating all the donuts, has looked into the abyss and survived, so loyal the Sorting Hat placed her in Gryffindor before it even landed on her head, forgives easily because she knows what it’s like to need forgiveness.
Cons: Sometimes she tries so hard she breaks things.
5. Maggie, Younger
Pros: A driven, successful artist with a hella nice rent controlled loft in Bushwick. Is cool going out or staying in, it’s up to you really.
Cons: Everyone in Bushwick drives unicycles now.
4. Callie Torres, Grey’s Anatomy
Pros: She’s not messing around anymore. She knows what she can and cannot live without, and she’s going to get it. When she says she’s there for you, she’s there for you.
Cons: A bad luck cloud follows her around like she’s Charlie Brown.
3. Lauren Lewis, Lost Girl
Pros: Selfless, nurturing, adorable, whip-smart, superheroic, Canadian.
Cons: Not very good at saying no when her ex-girlfriend is in trouble. (Her ex-girlfriend is always in trouble.)
2. Jenny, Doctor Who
Pros: She cooks, cleans, loves to makeout, makes you laugh, holds you when you cry, and also is a time-traveling kick-ass ninja-woman who errs on the side of misandry and will not stand for oppression or injustice!
Cons: Dies sometimes for just a little while.
1. Poussey Washington, Orange Is the New Black
Pros: She’s perfect.
Cons: None.
We’re eager to hear your opinions on our opinions on this subject.
Alex above Lexa????????
I’m scared of Lexa! :(
yeah, but she’s scary in a sexy way!
You’re lusty for Slytherins! I KNEW IT!
Hey, I’m not gonna deny it
WHAT Lexa is not a Slytherin!!
I L U MEY
SFS – Slytherin for Slytherin right here. Definitely Team Lexa.
Unless we’re talking specifically about Alex’s eyebrows, in which case, I’m torn.
Also sexy in a scary way. Into it.
best kind of sexy
Next time someone asks me my “type”, I’m going to tell them “scary in a sexy way”. That is just the perfect definition.
Me too but in, like, a really good way
Lexa’s only scary if you stand between her and her people. But, like, I bet she’d be the kind of girlfriend that would always want to hold your hand and stare deeply into your eyes in coffee shops (whether that’s a pro or a con kinda depends on the person) and would always give you footrubs when you had a hard day, even though she’s tired, too.
Alex would be constantly trying to get you to do illegal things you don’t really want to do, but, like, her glasses and her tattoos and her lips and okay, yeah. Maybe we can break into that abandoned building and potentially get murdered or caught by the cops just kiss me again.
The really scary-sexy one on the 100 is Clarke. Like, she won’t kill you but if you eat a grape in the grocery store before paying, she will immediately walk over to the cashier and tell them and then cold shoulder you for like a week about it.
Are dealing drugs and kidnapping babies considered absolute deal-breakers these days? Because Bridget Regan looks like Daphne from Scooby Doo and that is totally my aesthetic. I can’t say no to redheads. They are my kryptonite.
Well, another Con would be “She may kill your father and then cover them with cement”
Nobody is perfect, JudgeyMcJudgerson.
Yeah I’m absolutely willing to overlook the Drug Queenpin aspect if I could come home to that beautiful of a redhead. She’s an entrepreneur! She’s into long-term planning! Fantastic!
Cons: Worships the literal devil and would always be doing murder around the house and leaving blood and guts everywhere.
maybe that’s a con for YOU.
that’s totes your aesthetic
Yeah, I mean, that’s what I was planning to do all day ANYWAY. Why would I have a problem with someone joining me?
i was loving it anyways but when i saw poussey at number one i screamed YES
Wait, why is Laverne Cox’s character on this list? Is Sophia lesbian or bi?
yes, her character is bi
I don’t remember her coming out as bi, just as loving her wife still.
Yeah, I don’t recall her ever mentioning an interest in men — it’s possibly that I missed something, though. And of course we know she loves her wife.
She also once told Pornstache that “she doesn’t do sausage in her breakfast sandwich”, in addition to only having been romantically linked to her wife so far, so I would have guessed she was a lesbian over bi.
Either way, her character is for sure queer/ of the rainbow family.
I am still laughing that Piper is ranked below someone whom eats rotten human eyes.
And you forgot Max from Black Sails!
She was married to another woman whom she loves!
NOMI HAS SUCH A GOOD LOFT THOUGH I WANT HER LOFT
This is a really fun list! I wish, though, that so many of the cons weren’t using ableist (anti-disability) metaphorical language (like “paralyzed” when that isn’t what is meant in a literal sense) and rooted ableist logic (like psychosis=bad).
Thanks for pointing this out, I was distracted a few times by albeist moments in an otherwise hilarious/brilliant post. I especially noticed the comment about Sophia being “blinded” by love. Ableist terminologies/metaphors are pervasive and normativized, unfortunately.
Haha, plain bread may actually be more interesting than Shower Harvey! Two other big cons are A) Her voice and B) Her Tippy tattoo may come alive at night.
I’d rather eat the bread
Hoooooow is freaking Soso this high up on the list and Delphine is #31? Opinion: Delphine, wanted, dead or alive. (#1, at least, is pretty much indisputable.)
Also: Brenna. Could somebody please find me a Brenna who is about a decade older so I can remove from the equation the uncomfortable feelings that just led me to google how old Haley Ramm is? So pretty, and yet so playing a high school student.
OMG I just scrolled through the comments waiting for someone to say this about Soso. Yes. I can’t even imagine one date with her in which I didn’t consider possibly sticking things in my own eyes. Not that that would remedy anything.
I wanted to say the same thing, Soso is just soooo not happening for me!
Heather I want to make you an award and print it out and mail it to you for your contributions to the Internet this week.
AND IT’S ONLY WEDNESDAY!
And Monday was a National Holiday, so it’s basically tuesday!
DITTO
Yes this. Superb work.
I agree with most of this 100%.
Though I understand that neither Stahma (Defiance) or Evony (Lost Girl) are necessary U-Haul material in a traditional way, I’d definitely put them above Shower Harvey.
Agreed!!
“startled by intimacy” is so perfect
When I saw this headline my first thought was that Poussey should hands down be number one. Is it weird to have a crush on a fictional character (not just the actor who plays them)? Because Poussey is pretty much my dream girl.
No, that’s not weird. She’s actually perfect.
I don’t know who most of these people are but this is still the perfect queer girl top trumps situation that I never realised was missing from my life until now. Thank you, Autostraddle.
I might also dispute Soso’s high ranking but I saw no.1 and thought “amen”
re Poussey
cons: she’s an alcoholic who doesn’t currently have her drinking in check. at all.
On the one hand, I am kinda expecting that to no longer be a thing next season now that Soso’s around her. On the other hand, I really hope that the writers don’t portray things as if having an awesome girlfriend suddenly makes someone’s addiction disappear b/c that’s totally f*cked up.
Glad that Paige McCullers is on this list. Tries too hard that she breaks things. LIKES MY HEART WHEN SHE SAYS GOODBYE!
But Number 1 deserves to be Number 1. Poussey Washington had to be Number 1 when I saw this list.
Paige, “sometimes she tries so hard she breaks things.” No one believed in Paige BUT I DID! I WAS ROOTING FOR HER! WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR HER! Pls.. come back
1. This is amazing!
2. Poussey is perfect. BUT She’s like the only person in Litchfield whose crime hasn’t been revealed yet, so her perfection feels a little bit like a setup?
3. Karma above Lexa? You wound me.
4. I really appreciate how chill you are about lowkey murderous tendencies. Really the only changes I would make to the list would be to rank the murderers EVEN higher, but that might be a personal problem.
I was recently thinking if we’d ever learned why Poussey was in prison…I’m 100% not ready for that because I only every want to see Poussey as the beautiful snowflake she is.
I thought Poussey was in for selling marijuana?
I think that was definitely implied, but I guess when you think about it, all we really know is that Poussey “sold weed, not real shit” which is what she said to Taystee when she confronted her about the heroin.
While Poussey absolutely deserves the top spot on this list, one con for her is that you wouldn’t actually be able to uHaul with her until she gets out of prison in a few years. But I think we’d all agree that waiting a few years for Poussey would be totally worth it.
Also, at first I was like “Why is Shaw so far down on this list!?” And then I remembered: Axis II personality disorder. Gets her kicks by shooting people. Doesn’t do feelings. Will very likely murder you if you try to share her food. Probably brainwashed by an evil ASI. But who cares about a little sociopathy, right?
Might be a problem for you. Personally, where do I sign up? ;)
THIS POST IS AMAZING.
Also.. is killing really that bad if it’s done for a greater good? I mean, Root can move in with me whenever she wants. And Shaw, too. There’s enough space for both of them.
Lauren Lewis, aka Dr. Hotpants, is off the market again. She and everyone’s favorite Succubus are back together, hopefully 4-evs now. Still think she should be #1!
heather, I know you are Paige’s biggest fan but I will never, ever be able to get the image of her nearly drowning Emily out of my brain, ever! Gryffindor, PFFT no way! That bitch is all muggle.
<3 <3
Also, Im drunk and ragey–Sry!
LOLO! D:
We’ve all done stupid things whilst pretending to be straight. Let it go!
Yes I am with you, I have never been able to like Paige because of that scene!
Heather you need to watch Black Sails!!!
Yeah, I can’t believe nobody from Black Sails made this list. They have three queer women in the cast.
I didn’t know it had been renewed! I thought this season’s finale was the series finale! I thought it was over!
Heather, Starz has renewed the show for at least two more seasons.
THAT’S GREAT NEWS! (I’m sorry I missed Max and Anne and Eleanor.)
Ok so I’m stuck between 6&7 because dear god those two are just so awesome. I’m going to need that AU crossover fic where they road trip the USA to get their gal pals back.
– I do believe that you are missing Stahma Tarr.
– Where’s Garnet (and possibly Pearl)?
– I know that they’re not on television, but I would still like to see Carmilla, Laura, AND DANNY on here.
I signed in to say the exact same thing!! I want my Carmilla crew up here. (#TeamDanny)
Hollence is life! Oh tomorrow, what’s going to happen to my Tall Gay Danny?
Y’all, I don’t think Danny’s gonna make it. :(
*SPOILERS* Danny better not make it after the last episode.
#teamMattie
Paige should be like #1 or 2. Team Paige 4eva.
–another human “so loyal the Sorting Hat placed [them] in Gryffindor before it even landed on [their] head”
My one and only criterion for U-Hauling:
Will she kill the Spider?
1.Root:Yes, afterwards, there’ll be a lasernet criss crossing the ceiling.
2.Shaw:Yes. There will be very precise bulletholes in the walls, but whatever.
3.Lexa:Yes.Spiders sliced apart in a swordly fashion.
4.Vause:Will stomp onto spider with her Doc Martens to apologize after she’s realized they’re rather useful.
5.Clarke: Suffocates spiders in a glass with toxic fumes.
6.Poussey:Traps them without taking them outside.
7.Bo: Will make out sleep with the spider, it still dies.
8.Dr.Lauren:Will trap and keep it, to study it and find it fascinating.
9.Amy:Is hiding with in the hallway with me.
10.Arizona:Will trap it and take it outside with a smile and then cuddle up with a kiss and ask if you’re all right.
I’ll move in with Dr.Robbins, thank you very much.Or Root. Not gonna lie.
P.S.I’d like to add Alison:
Did she take the Spider outside or not? Where the fuck is the damn thing? And is this even real?
Alison would push the spider off a bell tower and then claim it was alive when she left the room, even though you walked in 2 seconds later and saw it dead on the floor. Paige would promise not to try to protect you from the spider, break her promise, and get dumped.
You forgot to put in Emily Fields’ pros column that she looks like Shay Mitchell, Heather. ;)
Valid. That is the pro to outweigh all the other pros.
This is very cute, and also I had no idea there were so many queer female characters on the tv, which makes me happy.
I’m really sorry to be That Girl, but… loyalty is a hallmark of Hufflepuff House, not Gryffindor.
Well, now, I am hardcore Hufflepuff, through and through, so I mean no offense, but loyalty doesn’t belong only to Hufflepuff, just because the Sorting Hat named it as one of Hufflepuff’s qualities. Right, because there were more Gryffindors than any other house at the Battle of Hogwarts. (Obviously Hufflepuff was next!) And more Gryffindors in Dumbledore’s Army. You know, and remember when Dumbledore said to Snape in Deathly Hallows “Sometimes I think we sort too soon,” indicating that he thought Snape should have probably been in Gryffindor? JK Rowling, when she named the qualities that made Snape heroic, after the book, when talking about that scene, she said: “He loved, and showed loyalty to that love, and, ultimately, laid down his life because of it. That’s pretty heroic!” So, you know, it’s a very Gryffindor quality too. :)
Agreed. Gryffindor is way overrated. Let’s not equate all that is good with Gryffindor.
– Ravenpuff
But did you see that J K Rowling tweet ? The dawn of the age of Hufflepuff is coming <3
Wtf heather you are on a roll this week
Took the words right out of my mouth! Go Heather, Go!
Thank you! :)
PAIGE MCCULLERS YAS MAN
Is Shane 2.0.
Meh. I spent half of Lword wondering how jenny was murdered and shane was not. I think I would have preferred shane being murdered and jenny being the primary suspect. But what evs. I am ok being in the unpopular opinion group.
*Me clicking on this list*
“Poussey better be #1.”
*Poussey is #1*
“HELL YES. GOOD. EXCELLENT, WHAT A GREAT WEBSITE”
I love how most of the cons pretty much boil down to “is dead, is sometimes dead, will make you dead if you date her”
Or “is dying”
Or, you will die.
With 3 total in the top 10, including 2 in the top 5 and the #1 draft pick overall- the main thing I learned from this list is that I have EXCELLENT tastes in TV girlfriends :)
(I also have no idea who Tituba is as I’ve never seen “Salem” before, but she’s super beautiful! )
Haven’t read this yet, but there are 50 whole lesbians on here which means that there are 50 whole lesbians on tv/internet tv right now (MAYBE MORE) and I think that’s incredible.
This should also say girls who kiss girls/queer girls not lesbians my bad.
But this list: THIS LIST. Poussey Washington forever and ever. Also, I’m glad Callie was so high up…she does have awful luck though my gosh. I also wish Piper didn’t have to be on here…but I’m glad she’s only a little better than Sara fucking Harvey.
There are definitely more. There are quite a few people who didn’t make the list for some reason.
I know this post is about American TV, but I think some Wentworth characters deserve a shout out.. Franky Doyle, Bridget Westfall, Joan Ferguson anyone?!?
Yes and Janet King!
Yes! And The Rich Man’s Daughter! Althea and Batchi are both total catches!
GIDGET GIDGET YES
I loved all of this.
Tbh Lexa would be in my top ten, because I’m kind of obsessed with her at the moment. But I agree with your #1 pick…. Poussey is just the greatest.
Why are so many of these characters named after Buffy characters? (Okay, so it’s two of them. But I’m pretty sure more than 96% of the world population wasn’t on Buffy, so it’s still high.)
Also, Vastra is canonically good at oral.
Yeah, that should definitely have been in Vastra’s pros column! OMG
I did have “that tongue!” as one of Vastra’s qualities. I should have left it in.
8 out of 43 had short hair. Fuck television. I want some side cut, flannel wearing butches and I want them now. And I counted medium length bobs, against my better judgment.
I am rather irked that you assigned Piper to my beautiful Slytherin House.
But otherwise I quite enjoyed the list :)
Oh come on Piper is totally that Slytherin who THINKS she’s a Gryffindor.
Absolutely!
Hey every house has THAT person, no matter how beautiful the house.
And Chloe is totally on point.
I’d be ready to U-haul with Poussey, directly in prison!!
This was so, so wonderful! Omg, yes, I totally was waiting for Poussey the whole time, she is my forever bebe. Also, Charlie from Supernatural should have been here. Yes, she is dead now, but another girl on the list was apparently a ghost, so that’s no excuse.
WHERE IS STELLA GIBSON?!?!?!
Oh shit. D:
Sara Harvey must be really awful if she’s below Piper.
She’s the worst.
Here’s to Heather having a plethora of amazing Native, South-East Asian and Middle-Eastern characters to choose from next time she endows us with her wonderful lists. Oh, and some more who are over 30 (characters as well as actors!!).
At least there is road behind us as well as ahead of us. And Poussey leading the way with her million-watt smile…
This is the kind of content I like to see. It’s not everyone, but it’s enough!
This is the kind of content I like to see! Although, where are Margot Verger and Alana Bloom from Hannibal?
Clarke Clarke Clarke I love Clarke
Not on the list, but Alana Bloom and her suit jackets could rule me . . . .
People can’t seriously think Piper is worse than murderers on other shows and orange is the new black right? I know it’s not real life but morals don’t have to go out of the window when you watch TV!
(a) T.V. land is a special land where morality is different. Reality is different. In real life, anyone alive is better than anyone dead. In television land, death is not always an obstacle.
(b) Piper has like no redeeming qualities. Maybe good business sense with the underwear smuggling deal. But seriously, can you imagine living with her and not going crazy?
Barbara Kean is probably worse though.
I also don’t hate Piper as much as the general masses. I don’t love her, but she’s not a monster. I refuse to believe this says anything about me. Excuse, I have to go wash my hair with artisanal soap now.
Another vote for power couple Alana Bloom and Margot Verger! Who of course just should (and did) U-Haul with each other.
the rest of the list doesn’t even matter, poussey is perfect
Some of these ladies give me that awkward queer moment of do I like this girl, want to be her or already kinda are her?
And at the same time at not awkward but still weird “we’d be a like super villain duo, isn’t that just glorious.”
Poussey’s just too good for this world. She’s a lil’ cinnamon roll I’d eat her alive and enjoy every second of it.
Tara’s basically the cinnamon roll of feral cat humans in need of re-socialization and I am one of those kinda still so…
Oh the struggle of being a Ravenclaw/Slytherin hopelessly drawn to little Hufflepuffs/ Griffindors like a cat drawn to mouse. I can’t stick to my own kind because that’s bad for the balance of the universe, it’s a noble sacrifice. >D
But Heather, Heatherrrrr how could I not see it before, Callie IS Charlie Brown! You pop culture genius, you.
As a proud Slytherin, Chapman may be in the same house but I like to believe she’d be the reject of the entire dungeon.
Indeed, she’d be whining to anyone in earshot how she REALLY belongs in Gryffindor.
omg i can’t get over my paige hate but CONS: disrespects emily’s boundaries, kissed emily while she knew emily was drugged, MADE EMILY THINK SHE WAS DROWNING HER
Jenny is finally getting some love <3
That description of Cosima is really spot on and excellent.
HOW COULD YOU LEAVE OUT ILANA WEXLER?!?! dreamy queer kween of my heart…
omg i had totally forgotten my profile photo is of her hahaha… awkward
I am pleased to see Gail Peck so high on this list!
That one time #30 posed for selfies with #9 and #3 respectively…
Sorry y’all, I just needed other queer ladies on the internet to know this happened last weekend at DragonCon.
OH MY GOSH!
Thank you for this list ♥♥♥♥♥
I’d SO U-Haul with Root. And Shaw. Cons be damned.
(But we all know Tamsin from Lost Girl and Callie Torres are the most perfect U-Haul gal pals for pretty much anyone.)
OK I know this article is old news but I honestly can’t believe the write-up for Shaw here. “Cons: Occasional psychotic tendencies” like really?????? Do you know how fucking cool and important it is to have a character like Sameen Shaw? A character who has a personality disorder and still gets to be complex and three dimensional, who has limited empathy and affect and still gets to be unquestionably heroic and moral and involved in the central romance narrative of the show? Do you know how super not funny and honestly really fucked up it is to reduce her to “Occasional psychotic tendencies”?
Her con could literally be her *lack* of tech skills, because contrary to your description she types with two fingers and definitely couldn’t do any fancy remote hacks and in a world of AI apocalypses that’s not the greatest. But no, you had to go with something ableist instead.
Okay but loyalty is a Hufflepuff trait actually? Like yeah the geeky references are cute and seeing anything Potter brings a sparkle to my eye, but if you’re going to throw in off-hand references to people according to Hogwarts Houses, please get the traits right? Fact-check your references please. Seriously took me right out of the article. Literally never are Gryffindors called loyal. Hufflepuffs though…
I would move in with (almost) all of them, My top ten would be (in order):
1.) Root aka. Samantha Grooves, aka. my latest obsession I mean Amy Acker is just too cute at first I was a total Shaw girl but Root just slowly crept into my heart <3
2.) Tamsin, Okay I'll admit I watched Lost Girl because of hearing about Doccubus but when Tamsin came onto the show I just totally lost my heart to her!
3.) Lexa, I dunno there was just something about her (i.e. her total bad-ass-ness lol) plus it counts that she's also very good looking.
4.) Callie, Well Grey's Anatomy is where I saw my first Lesbian couple so it's not surprising I fell for Callie!! might have something to do with the fact that she's also a great singer though!
5.) Shaw, Well I was a Shaw girl at one point haha, plus even though she's all badass and has a Axis II personality disorder, you can still see the care that she has for Root, it just shows that her capacity for love even if some people think it might not be much but for her… well it's a big deal!
6.) Rose, Okay even though she's a big evil mastermind who could kill your family… I gotta admit that, I'm just VERY attracted to red heads, plus she's gotta be quite rich, right?
7.) Arizona, I have admit I'm a sucker for those dimples, sure she's got a few issues but I can see that she's the kind of person who'd cheer me up on a rough day.
8.) Clarke, She's just a great and kind person through and through, very dependable, the only reason she's not that high on my list is… I guess I'm just not that attracted to her haha.
9.) Nyssa, Seems like the kind that would do anything for you once you capture her heart! Sure some small issues with her ex-lover who was dead but might not be so dead any more but… we can get over it… maybe….
10.) Alex, Only reason she's last on my list is cause well she's kinda in jail again I don't see us moving in right away, but she is hot gotta give her that!
Okay maybe not so in order, wow, that was harder than I thought it would be!! But yeah… Gimme Root any day!!!