Hello and welcome to this thing we’re doing where we help you figure out what you’re gonna put in your mouth this week. Some of these are recipes we’ve tried, some of these are recipes we’re looking forward to trying, all of them are fucking delicious. Tell us what you want to put in your piehole or suggest your own recipes, and we’ll talk about which things we made, which things we loved, and which things have changed us irreversibly as people. Last week, we beered our cooking.
I’m the worst cook in the whole world. But my mother made damn sure I could bake. Which is a very good thing, because I have one hell of a sweet tooth. One of my favorite things to bake is cake, for which I have only two rules: never from a box and mug cakes are a lie the internet tells you. I don’t get to do it very often because my fiancée doesn’t like cake, so I’ll live vicariously through y’all this week. Here are 34 cake recipes to shower upon your friends, family and self. Cake on, people. Cake on.
1. Homemade Funfetti Cupcakes
I’ve actually frosted these in the past with chocolate whipped cream because I feel strongly that dessert doesn’t count if there’s no chocolate.
2. Apple Peanut Butter Cupcakes
3. Chocolate Snack Cake
No dairy, eggs or refined sugar, so.
4. Olive Oil Pound Cake
Pound cake is sometimes too dry for me, so I really do want to see how it turns out with olive oil in the mix.
5. This Chocolate Cake
Carolyn is my baking idol.
6. Cat Cake
Perhaps the most on-brand Autostraddle cake I’ve ever found.
7. Rosewater Angel Food Cake
I’ve actually never done a successful angel food cake, so if anyone has any tips, much appreciated.
8. Strawberry Milk Cake
9. Birthday Cake Popsicles
A genius thing that I didn’t know existed.
10. Red Velvet Cake
I feel like this is going to be contentious. You either love it or you hate it.
11. Gluten-Free Dairy-Free Angel Food Cupcakes
I see you and your dietary restrictions.
12. No-Mixer, One-Bowl Cake
13. Peachy Orange Marmalade Cupcakes
These are just the cutest effing things.
14. Chocolate Moon Cake
15. Meat Cake
I miss Kristin, you guys. I miss her so much that I, a vegetarian, am including this recipe.
16. Meyer Lemon Cake
17. Double Chocolate Cake Donuts
18. Cinnamon Banana Cake
I love square cakes that don’t require frosting.
19. Root Beer Chocolate Bundt
20. Triple Chocolate Trifle
Or, what to do when you eff up your cake.
21. Dairy-Free Apple Cake
Courtesy of Carolyn once again.
22. Gluten-Free Lemon Blueberry Coffee Cake
23. Gluten-Free Samoa Cupcakes
24. Jane Austen’s Birthday Cake
This cake is too hard. I will never make this cake. But I love Jane Austen and also staring at this cake. If you make this cake, you MUST post photos so we can all celebrate your superior baking skillz.
25. Madeleines
Are they cookies? Are they cakes? I’m reading Proust this semester so I don’t even care, I’m including them.
26. Cauldron Cakes
Even when I’m writing about food, I am still a huge nerd.
27. Doodle Cake
I had no idea there were such things as edible ink pens.
28. Peach Thyme Skillet Cake
29. Harlequin Truffle Roulade
The effect seems not nearly as difficult as it looks.
30. Plum Cake
Carolyn, AGAIN? How much do you bake?
31. Chocolate Dump-It Cake
Can you tell I have a chocolate bias?
32. Caramel Cake
33. Classic Carrot Cake
I know it’s Easter themed but I don’t even care.
34. No Bake Cookies and Cream Cake
This was the best way to wake up in the morning. I am going to attempt at least three of these, and I’m not sure yet if I plan to share any of them.
TEAM PIE
Yes honey, we know.
I gotta agree with this ghost cat tho
Edible ink pens exist? Well this just changes everything.
IT DOES!! I CAN DRAW ANYTHING ON CAKES, THIS IS TOO MUCH POWER
Now I know this I’m probably going to use these pens to draw on my partners … Yeah I went there. #SorryNotSorry #PeopleAreCakesToo
two things:
1) gonna be a bit of a snob for a second here and suggest that too dry pound cake is an over-cooking problem not a pound cake problem.
2) in the complete opposite direction of afore-mentioned snobbery, angel food cake is just hard and annoying, and making one from a box is really easy and turns out tasty. I think it’s worthy of being an exception to the no box cake rule.
I am so picky when it comes to cake, but I’m seeing a lot of winners in this post… Like cake doughnuts and strawberry milk cakes?? Ali.,,,
I also laugh whenever you mentioned Carolyn. “Calrolyn, AGAIN?” should be on an AS T-shirt. There’s a lot of things that should be on AS T-shirts, tbh.
Like special halloween ones that say FINGERNAIL STORY.
Mmmmm – read cake recipes and plan my next weekend … or go to work …
Ali your chocolate bias is my chocolate bias
But why post this now? I’m moving on Saturday and I’ll have no baking supplies! None! NO BAKING FOR ME.
Also I am going to bookmark this and also possibly keep it open in a pinned tab so I can look at it and regret my decision not to purchase any baking supplies
there’s just no cupboard space!
i want to make all of these cakes.
Oh… the MEAT CAKE. :-O
I am a vegan and yet somehow ended up reading that whole thing? It was entertaining and only a little bit gross.