In the beginning, there were dinosaurs. And that was it. They roamed, they ruled, they straight-up chilled on our good planet until (probably) a meteor came out of nowhere and led them to a fiery and unpleasant and (almost but not complete, IMHO) extinction. DINOS, y’all! I’ve always been fascinated by these creatures and, in anticipation of the new Jurassic Park — ahem — WORLD movie, I’ve been thinking about dinosaurs even more than usual. Perhaps you’ve also experienced a resurgence in interest. Maybe you’ve been watching the chickens run back and forth in you and your girlfriend’s backyard and thinking about their ancient lineage. Maybe you’ve recently pinned a little brachiosaurus figurine to your new super-cute collared top and a super-cute girl gave you a thumbs up. MAYBE you just want to sit/lay on your best friend’s couch all day and watch dino-centric movies and eat popcorn for dinner. Baby, this one’s for you.
1. Jurassic Park, and Jurassic Park III, but definitely not The Lost World
Here’s where it all began. Me, just a little tyke, sitting too close to the television, watching a man struggle against the most awesome creatures to ever exist. They were HUGE and fast and smart. They fought. They ate. They chased Jeff Goldblum! I was mesmerized! And soon thereafter I became obsessed. 20 years later, I’m still obsessed.
The reason I don’t include the second film, The Lost World, is because even as a kid it didn’t seem to hold to what Jurassic Park was all about — wonder, humans failing against nature (one of my favorite archetypes) — and also, it was all focused around this boring hetero white family who couldn’t get their shit together. There was no epic dino-fighting/dino-attacking scene, which, regardless of science or logic, is definitely my favorite kind of scene. Anyways, the first and third are my favorite you can’t change me!
2. The Land Before Time
So I tried to remember how many of these movies were made, and I got up to six — and then when I actually fact-checked myself, I learned that there were FOURTEEN of these movies?! Did the Now! That’s What I Call Music enterprise merge with an animated dinosaur series and nobody told me?! Anyways, these movies were a very intricate part of my childhood. I watched them so many times, learned so many names of dinosaurs and their personality types (perhaps asking longneck or triceratops was our child-version of the Myers Briggs). They got a little musical-y too, which is about as high as my musical limit enjoys. Let’s have a sleepover and watch these. All fourteen. Yep yep yep!
3. Dinosaur
This was my first IMAX movie experience. I remember breaking my neck to try and see every detail of all the dinosaurs. Looking back, the movie was pretty depressing (though there is a happy ending!) but it’s SO GOOD. I kept naming things “Aladar” years after this came out. Also, the production of this film is actually pretty amazing if that’s your thing (it’s mine, too).
4. We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story
The 80’s! Aliens! ANIMATED DINOSAURS AND A NOSTALGIC NYC! If Autostraddle isn’t a John Goodman fan club, I will bow myself out. I feel like I don’t have to say too much about this movie because it’s so good. LET’S TALK ABOUT IT
5. Theodore Rex
I actively remember renting this from Blockbuster (RIP) and while all my other gal pals fell asleep during Janelle’s b-day party extravaganza (seriously she always had the best birthday parties), I popped this sucker in and enjoyed WHOOPI GOLDBERG investigating CRIMES with a dinosaur named THEODORE.
6. Godzilla (1954)
Along with other totally inappropriate movies I watched for my age, another early memory is Godzilla. My favorite nights were TMC’s b-side horror nights, where the claymation and stop-animation effects would come out of the woodwork. The miniature sets that we’re built and the voice-overs, I could eat popcorn and M&Ms and watch this movie and it’s cousins (King Kong, The Creature from the Black Lagoon) every weekend if you wanted. Do you want to? Do you want to come over?
7. Journey to the Beginning of Time
Though the entire plot is centered on four straight cis-white boys (yada yada yada, amirte?), as a child I somehow just projected myself into the cast. #bois4lyfe They find a cave in the NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM that leads them to… DINOSAURS. Just like many of us still know in our hearts that our Hogwarts letter will come when the time is right, I also know in my heart of hearts that I will someday see a dinosaur. THEY AREN’T EXTINCT.
8. Monsters Resurrected
Though this is more of a documentary – I remember I was watching a series of TRUE LIFE REAL FOOTAGE docs on the Loch Ness and this came up and obviously I tuned in. Mostly, I just remember their reincarnation of the plesiosaur and I immediately drew the conclusion that I, yes tiny child I, had just figured it all out: NESSIE WAS A NON-EXTINCT PLESIOSAUR, IT ALL MADE SENSE! Though I am now older and wiser, I’m still not totally convinced I’m wrong. Remember when Discovery Channel played cool stuff?
9. Walking With Dinosaurs
Memaw would highlight programs for us to watch in her TV guide, things of special relevance to us and our interests, and we would plan entire days/weeks around these highlighted rectangles. 1990’s CGI technology? Promises of new knowledge surrounding the -aceous and -assic eras? I WAS SOLD. IT WAS HIGHLIGHTED. WE WERE GONNA WATCH.
You won’t be disappointed. there’s even a “making of” Walking With Dinosaurs, meaning you NEVER HAVE TO STOP. No but seriously, I use dinosaur facts a lot in my everyday life, and I think I got most of those facts from this show.
10. Jurassic World
Okay, call me a hype beast, but it’s already one of my favorite movies and I haven’t even seen it yet. Since 2002 there have been rumors of another movie, and I have asked “how high?” to every jump they gave. Though there are already going to be so many different things about this movie compared to the other ‘classic’ three, I CANNOT WAIT. I’ve been waiting. I’ve been watching the previews over and over and I usually hate previews! They’re basically just a bunch of spoilers but guys there is a PLESIOSAUR I AM READY, TAKE ME.
so far a solid 50% of your articles are about dinosaurs and the other 50% are about sharks. keep it up, kiddo.
Does anyone else remember the Dinotopia TV miniseries?? It was soooo good!!
YES.
So. Much. Goodness!
Yes. Also my sister still uses ‘one thing at a time’ and ‘one raindrop raises the sea’ as genuine wisdom to should guide her life.
i think they should do a theadore rex spin-off where a queer website gets a triceratops CEO who does all the accounting so i can watch 14 land before time movies with you
Amazing.
My dad passed away when I 5, about when Land Before Time came out. I may or may not have watched this movie a thousand times. IT’S GONNA BE OK LITTLEFOOT YOU ARE STRONG ILU
*was 5. way to type, heather
yes thank you for including Godzilla. I know he’s technically a ‘monster’ and not a dino but he totally has the whole ‘terrible lizard’ charisma. I loved his 5 minutes of CGI glory in the 2 hours of the most recent Godzilla movie.
I knew, KNEW that Lost World wouldn’t make the list. Good Girl Ab.
This makes me pine for the blue dinosaur eraser I got from a scholastic book fair. The dinosaur’s neck WRAPPED AROUND the pencil. I loved it. I miss it every day.
Also, this sentence: “Did the Now! That’s What I Call Music enterprise merge with an animated dinosaur series and nobody told me?!” Love it. Love you.
I love this list! Does anyone remember the movie “Baby” from the eighties? Am I the only one who watched it (obsessively)?
Thought I was the only person to have ever seen this film as no one else remembers it. Thank god I’m not going crazy
The Land Before Time was my childhood. Cera—I always thought it was Sarah, hmm—was my most hated, hated character ever. I swear, up until today her little face makes me super angry.
Also, for the longest time, I thought a long neck was the actual scientific term. Science isn’t that kind, Al.
I hated cera! She’s the first thing I think of when those movies come up. Didn’t help that my school played them at least 15 times at recess whenever it rained.
I thought it was Sarah until this moment. Oops.
I’m seeing Jurassic World tomorrow, and I’m so damn excited. Jurassic Park is still my favourite movie, and I know I’ll love the new one.
TELL ME HOW YOU REALLY FEEL
Saw Jurassic World at midnight. And, IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER THE DINOSAURS WERE THE COOLEST I WANTED TO CRY AT ITS GLORY LIKE HOW DO I GO ON LIVING A NORMAL LIKE AFTER THAThdhdjtsjJgxjsjsgjVdhbw!!!?!!?;!_!;!??
YO SAME I LOVED IT I LOVED IT I LOVED IT IM GONNA GO AGAIN IT WAS SO GOOD
EXCUSE ME. Theodore Rex?!? Tell me — please tell me — this is the third movie in the Sister Act franchise.
CAN EDITORS WIN COMMENT AWARDS??
Anyway you won my heart, that’s for sure.
FUN FACT “I Will Follow Him” was actually directed at Theodore himself, but the production and editing crew decided to go for a more broad, metaphorical touch
FOLLOW HIM WHEREVER HEEEEEEE MAY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I was about to start yelling in the anticipation that We’re Back wasn’t going to be included. No one I know ever remembers it. It’s almost like I dreamt it. SOMEONE ELSE FINALLY KNOWS, and it’s so damn good, too!
BABY WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER
CHOSEN FAMILY DINO MOVIE NIGHT, SEE YOU THERE OR SEE YOU AT ANOTHER TIME
We’re back was such a good film! I do remember a creepy part with the crows though.. but maybe that made it better. Some of the best kids films were a bit on the dark side at times, you know?
saw Jurassic World in 3D and it blew my mind. literally. I want to go to there. the amazing idea that there could be a theme park island with dinosaurs and it’s all very normal – bestill my beating heart!
The beauty. The soundtrack. Even the corny lines. but most of all,
the incredibleness of dinosaurs. Wow.
Must see! If you even slightly like 3D I reckon it’s worth seeing in 3D. some sweeping shots were just breathtaking.
I saw Jurassic world today after I saw ads showing the gigantic sharkosaur. Just the one picture of the giant dinoshark is what convinced me to go. So I was crushed when they didn’t show it hunting and swimming and basically terrifying. Still a really fun movie though, I was so excited.
Ugh but why did Littlefoot’s mum have to die, universe what the fuck tho
still not okay.
yo this is so real
My dog’s nickname is Chomper, after a baby t-rex from The Land Before Time II -I guess that was kind of random but this feels like the right place to share.
this is a safe space. you are welcome here.
I, for one, am really upset that Barney’s Great Adventure is missing from this list.