Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
via altblackgirls
+ Valerie Jean-Charles wrote about shyness around discussing masturbation, sexual pleasure and related topics with other Black women:
“I dropped the ‘M’ word and was met with uncomfortable shifts and lowered gazes. I didn’t understand the big deal—I had only said ‘masturbation’ and yet, three out of my four friends were acting as if I had said something along the lines of, ‘I’m into doing porn.’
That was the first time I realized just how taboo sexual independence, pleasure, and experimentation are within the Black community—especially when it comes to our women. Soon after that happy hour I noticed similar and even stronger reactions to ‘masturbation’ among Black women in other spheres, specifically social media. Guilt, disgust, shame—these were just some of the words women were using to describe their previous attempts and current beliefs around masturbation.”
+ Kitty Stryker wrote about authenticity in porn, performativity and sex, being “so fucking confused about what kind of sex other feminists think I should have in order to be liberated” and more:
“But I’m going to put aside my sarcasm for a minute, because this is a serious issue with serious consequences. There’s been a lot of discussion about “authenticity” in porn and how amazing and valuable and feminist a quality it is, but I call bullshit on that discourse. Indie porn performer Arabelle Raphael made a great point last year by stating that porn is still labor, and as such, it is by its very nature performative. All labor requires some sort of performance, from smiling at customers you dislike to being polite when you hate your boss. Labor in the entertainment field, whether that be acting on stage, screen, or in adult movies, is even more explicitly staged. Activist sex worker Siouxsie Q wrote about how when she was working with a feminist pornographer, the actual, negotiated sex she wanted to have with a real life play partner was considered “too much” to be “authentic” as defined by that director. So who decides, then, what is authentic and what is performative? Are these actually opposite ends of a spectrum?”
Kouwai Potocnik via womenofcoloe
+ Stoya discussed what to do when you’re happy with your orgasms but your partners aren’t:
“If you are satisfied with the physical sensations you have during sex, then you are satisfied —regardless of whether you have fireworks hitting you over the head, rolling hills of pleasure, or no orgasm at all. You don’t need to experience satisfaction in anyone’s definition but your own. That said, I’ve heard of, seen, and felt those rolling kinds of orgasm, and in my opinion, they’re super-nifty — both to have and to cause in another person’s body.”
Moet Cristal via prettyplussize
+ Here is how to have sex while being a fat person and/or with a fat person:
“Here’s a thing I know: It really is very hard for a lot of fat people to own their own sexual identities. Part of the messaging fat people receive is one of desexualization. Fat sexual identity is denied to us.
Part of having a healthy and satisfying sex life as a fat person is learning to get over that. Which is so much harder than simply saying, “Get over it.” If you’re into partnered sex, you’re doing it with SOMEONE, and that means you’re taking a risk. Hopefully a small risk but a risk just the same.”
+ It is pretty risky to run a sex-related business.
PhotoCredit IG: @FreakMighty via rodeoh
+ Harvard recently banned all romantic and sexual relationships between students and professors, begging the question, why haven’t all universities and colleges done the same?
+ Emoji users have more sex.
via theladycheeky
+ Background music can make people feel more attracted to and interested in someone in a romantic situation, according to a recent study:
“Impressions of other character traits, such as openness and friendliness, also got higher ratings with background music.
First conversations are important and often indicate if a couple has a future relationship, the study said. Music affects neurochemical systems in the brain that may enhance the interpersonal impressions formed during those conversations, it said.”
+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen reviewed the Lovelife.
Carla Ward via womenofcolor
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
“How to have sex while fat” != “how to have sex with a fat person.” Some of your readers are fat. They are people who have sex, not just people who are sexed with. Agency’s important, even in listicles.
That is a really good point about my language, thank you! I have edited that line accordingly.
Photo number 5.
I mean…UNF
Right?? Damn.
Omg, I can´t. I can´t read your comment without imagining Tina Belcher´s voice.
“Riiiiiight? Daaaaamn. BUTTS!”.
Bahahaha
Yeah, I’m printing it out so I can lick it.
I logged in just so I could agree with this comment. But then Rodeoh almost always hits it out the park.
Right? It´s quite a photo.
In the words of my mother, eloquent woman that she is: “Guuuuurl, I would drink your bath water”.
Also you GUYS click the link. More pix of that beauty.
Welp, that made my Sunday. Would love if AS did one of those 30-50 picture round-up thingies for Rodeoh pics.
hahahaha you´re fuuunny. You think I didn´t already do that.
I loved reading the whole Kitty Stryker article, but one piece in particular got me thinking: this thing about “authenticity” vs. “performativity.” I work in theater, and good plays are all about finding that sweet spot where deeply authentic emotions meet accessible, “readable” performances. Where raw, unedited, in-the-moment feeling meets technique and awareness of the audience’s experience. And I never thought about that fine line in porn, too. Huh. Cool.
This week’s picture roundup was hella Rubenesque and I’m loving it.
#6
As an ethnomusicologist, I found the study on background music and attraction quite intriguing. Personally, everything is better and more attractive to me when good music is playing but I have also experienced a complete evaporation of horniness as a direct result of bad music.
Hey Carolyn,
I was wondering when the results of the Autostraddle Sex Survey of Autostraddle readers were going to be published?
I participated and would be keen to read the results…
I know that my question isn’t related to Lesbosexy Sunday but I didn’t know how else to raise the issue…
Anna
I am so excited and curious to see the results too!
We are so excited to share the results! There were over 8,000 completed surveys, so looking at all the data is not the speediest process, but it’ll start to appear soonish.
I can’t wait for that either!
Hey, so sorry to be a pain, but I can’t help but notice,
After someone pointed out the total lack of representation a few weeks ago there was at least some token inclusion of trans women in Lesbosexy Sunday (yay!), but things seem to have gone almost immediately back to omission-as-usual.
What’s up?
Hey! This continues to be a priority that I am working toward (esp w/r/t finding more sustainable solutions). Thank you for checking in/keeping me accountable.