Hey Clone-Alones, welcome to the recap of the fourth episode of Orphan Black! So many people died and then came back to life this episode! It was just like The Walking Dead, only with characters I give a shit about.
We pick up right where we left off last week, with Sarah waking up from her horrendous car wreck. She sees Daniel unconscious, and grabs his gun. She is immediately joined by Cal, who decided that the best way to save Sarah was to smash his car into her car. Ugh Cal, THAT’S NOT HOW YOU SAVE PEOPLE.
Nailing this male savior thing.
This is literally the worst rescue in the history of forever.
A police car zooms past them, and Sarah grabs the gun. Luckily, the police car drives away, ignoring the massive accident and the girl with the hand gun. Sarah tells Cal they need to hide the car/Daniel’s dead body, so they start piling on some branches. Oh girl, no, there are better ways to hide a body.
They’ll never see the car through these leafless branches!
Cal and Sarah make a hasty exit, and Cal demands to know what the fuck Sarah is up to. Sarah doesn’t want him to get involved, which is something she should have thought of before crashing his cabin.
Over in the kingdom of Prolethia, Hank is smoking a pipe and talking to Gracie. Gracie tells him that “it” is awake, and Hank reminds her that Helena is now part of the family. Gracie is not feeling it.
I AM NOT CALLING HER MOM!
Inside the barn, Helena is waking up from her sedatives and wondering why she’s dressed as an Amish bride.
Don’t worry hon, everyone regrets marrying Hank the morning after, but you just get used to it.
Hank comes in and tries to reassure Helena, but she shrinks from his touch. You know you’re creepy when Helena wants nothing to do with you.
Meanwhile, Alison wakes up looking like a hot mess. Her arm is in a sling, she’s puking, and she doesn’t know where she is. Basically, she looks like someone on day three of the Dinah.
UGH, how does Courtney Love do this every morning?!
A woman comes in and tells her to calm down. Alison is convinced she’s in some Dyad facility, but she’s actually in rehab.
I know what I’m doing. I’ve seen 28 Days like, a million times.
Cal takes Sarah to another deserted cabin (how many cabins does this guy own?) where they meet up with Kira.
Sarah, this is no time to pretend to have a mustache.
Cal loads everyone into a camper and they hit the road. Kira is pretty fucking psyched about the camper; I felt the same way when my folks bought one. Let me tell you, that excitement fades after your father accidently leaves you at a rest stop in Arizona. That’s not a joke, that’s a legit childhood story.
Look, I know it comes with a kitchen, but we both know we’re doing Pizza Hut every night.
ANYWAYS, back at the Prolethian Farm, Art continues to spy and take photos. Hank and Bonnie discuss Helena and Gracie’s refusal to get on board Team Mom Clone.
Can’t wait to upload these babies to Tumblr.
What do ya say we pop some sedatives and let it get weird, lil’ lady?
In the camper, Cal is still trying to get the truth out of Sarah, but she’s not talking. She tells him that Daniel works for a big corporation, and Cal thinks she must be scamming them. Sarah also nicked Daniel’s phone, which she’s using to text Rachel as Daniel to keep her off their trail.
XOXO, Gossip Girl
I’m still here, bitches. And I know everything. – A
Okay, so here’s where this episode really takes off. Gracie brings fresh linens to Helena, and officially decides that she is done with this bullshit. Gracie takes a pillow and starts suffocating Helena!
That’s not how you pillow fight.
I guess that’s the Christian thing to do? Gracie tells Helena to go back to Hell where she belongs, which is cold as ice. But then Helena pops back up and starts choking the shit out of Gracie. Helena can’t die, y’all! I’m starting to think this bitch has superpowers.
I’ve made a huge mistake.
Helena makes a break for it and starts running through the farm to escape. After fighting her way through a room of cling wrap, Helena stumbles upon the room where Hank took her after the ceremony.
GROSS GROSS GROSS
She starts flashing back to what happened: Hank drugged her and forcibly harvested her eggs. Helena screams, grabs a knife, and runs the fuck out of there. Bonnie finds an unconscious Gracie and hollers for Hank.
Furious blow job face
As the Prolethians saddle up to hunt down Helena, they are stopped by Art, who just saw Helena running by him through the field. Helena escapes.
Wait, that last one came out blurry.
Tyra is gonna hate it!
At the Dyad Institute for Clone Boning, Cosima continues to watch Jenn’s video diaries and Skypes with Sarah while Cal and Kira make adorable origami outside.
I know Cosima, we’re sad too about Delphine not being in this episode.
Sarah shows Cosima the LEDA project photo, and Cosima starts telling her about the mythical story of Zeus and Leda. Basically, Zeus disguised himself as a swan, banged Leda, and she gave birth to demi-god twins. Cosima thinks it sounds like something engineered by the military.
I give this many fucks right now. This many.
More importantly, are the clones half-gods?! Do they have super powers?! When their powers align, can they summon Captain Planet?! I have so many questions, you guys.
Once my project is complete, I’ll be able to reach through Skype and finger you.
OK, but wash your hands first. That Effing Dykes post still haunts me.
Sarah tells Cosima she is coming back to town to get answers from Mrs. S, and Cosima is like, “that’s cool, I’ll just be here coughing up blood NBD.” Sarah asks Cal to keep an eye on Kira while she goes into town to shake down Mrs. S.
But I’m so cute. Look at how cute I am!
Mrs. S is hiding in Benjamin aka Creepy Old Man’s car and tells him about the bird watchers’ demise. She needs him to make her new papers to visit someone in London, but that someone is already here. His name is Carlton, and FYI he is not Will Smith’s uptight cousin.
Surprise Motherfucker!
Back at rehab, Alison is getting a tour and is grossed out by all the normals. She sees Felix and tells him she’s being held hostage. Felix tells her that’s not how rehab works and she can walk out whenever. After all, she willingly signed herself in, which Alison does not remember because of drugs and alcohol.
Look, the play is never making it to Broadway.
Well, how do our cruise ship options look?
Felix tells her to treat it like a spa weekend and just relax, which we know is an impossibility for Alison. Felix also offers to take her out for brunch and mimosas when she’s sober, and Alison is like THAT’S NOT HOW REHAB WORKS. See, she’s already learning.
They tried to make me go to clone-hab, but I said no, no, no
Sarah sets out for the city, but not before Kira gives her an origami angel to keep her safe.
You’re a sweet kid, but this looks nothing like an angel.
Cal begs Sarah to tell him what corporation it is, and she tells him it’s Dyad. He remarks that she must have really gotten under their skin, and she’s like they literally got under my skin with needles/test tubes/illegal science.
Guess who isn’t dead? A very pissed off Daniel who climbs out of the wrecked car. Shyamalan twist!
DUN DUN DUN!!!
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Great recap! Tiny nitpick – Kira doesn’t say Sarah is “already an angel”, she says that Sarah has a “guardian angel”. As in the origami angel, yes, but also as in Helena. If you remember, back in season 1, Kira referred to Helena as an “angry angel”. So the tiny, intuitive child somehow knew Helena was alive and that Helena would rescue her mom.
Also, someone in another forum pointed out that Daniel cuts into Sarah’s ear in exactly the same place as Beth had that scar (the one that Sarah didn’t have, which allowed Paul to finally figure out she wasn’t Beth.) Could be relevant? Maybe Daniel has a history of attacking the clones he is supposed to be protecting? I’m glad he’s dead, but I hope we find out more about his motivations!
I still don’t trust Cal completely yet (because I trust no one on this show who is not Sarah, Alison, Cosima or Felix) and I think he’s got some connection to the Dyad, or the clone conspiracy generally. He’s been waaaay too calm about all the shit he’s just witnessed for someone not involved somehow.
Kira is getting kinda creepy with the intuition stuff.
And at the moment I don’t trust Cal as far as my spit would push him….
So is Helena going to be part of the green phone gang? This looks like comedy gold. My favorite thing to watch is Helena’s approximation of what a normal person acts like (Helena as Beth in the police station).
Am I the only one who thought the scene with Helena and Sarah was very touching? Seeing Helena nuzzling into Sarah and Sarah reciprocating the hug was just heartbreaking.
I agree. Helena has mentioned having a family (that being her seestra) a few times. I think she loves Sarah and her coming to her aid was out of that love.
As we saw, Sarah nearly shit her pants because the person she thought she killed was back from the dead with a bloody knife. Then you see her face change from fear to relief. I’m not sure she was really reciprocating as much as she realized she wasn’t going to die.
I agree it was sweet, but I think a little one sided.
I thought it was more of a transition from absolute terror to the relief at probably not dying within the next few minutes rather than true reciprocation. Sweet nonetheless, Helena really is getting a tough deal.
Can I just note that when Art was taking pictures of the prolethians hanging up washing, the prolethians commented on the fact that they knew he was there – cue extra creep – of course that has nothing on what they did to helena but still.
Also, I am so tired of people seeing people looking unconscious-ish and just leaving them without checking! – First Gracie then Sarah just walked off assuming it would all be fine…. *grumble grumble grumble*
Rachel must be such a badass if Sarah-as-Rachel can say things like “and the room must be 68 degrees” and her employee guy is like “yes Ms Duncan of course Ms Duncan”.
In other news, I just want to sit all the clones down and make them some tea (because that is what we Brits do in times of trouble) and try to cheer them all up. Poor clones.
I agree with Rachel — always double tap. Second rule of Zombieland, first rule of any situation where you’ll be killing anyone.
Furthermore “Is it R. Kelly? Nope, it’s Helena” just makes me think how funny it would be if R. Kelly replaced Helena in every scene. R. Kelly luring Kira out of the house. R. Kelly getting forcibly married to Hank. R. Kelly calling Sarah “seestra” and nuzzling her.
Sarah is really terrible at hiding bodies/crime scenes, first she buries Katja in a gravel pit and now she covers Daniel’s car in like two branches and leaves it on the side of the road
Sarah is making the transition from badass to dumbass in this season, I think.
Like, hey my daughter Kira everyone’s after, I’m going to leave her alone with the guy I haven’t seen for 8 years (anyone think that pollinator dude’s got some sketchy business happening?). Also, I’m going to half check the guy’s pulse and assume he’s dead. Also, just stroll into my old house and not check if anyone’s around.
OK, but wash your hands first. That Effing Dykes post still haunts me. HAHAHAHAHA. I love your re-caps. Please re-cap forever.
Does Daniel remind anyone else of the T-1000?
I love these recaps. Also, anyone noticed how all the white, cishet males on this show come off as untrustworthy? There was a interesting musical cue when Sarah told Cal that she was running from Dyad.
Maybe Cal is Sarah’s new monitor since Paul seems to have disappeared (thank god!).
Also, can we just talk about how amazing it is that Tatiana Maslany is basically nuzzling herself as Helena/Sarah?!
Corporate badass Rachel texting “pls” LOL
And that shower scene made me scared like for real, Tatiana being scared makes me scared like wow award-winning. Great recap!
One thing they haven’t mentioned in the show is that Zeus technically doesn’t bang Leda…he rapes her. Kind of an important detail everyone keeps leaving out. Seems like it would only add to the sinister realism of the metaphor…
“Alison huffily insists she’s never done the nasty but we all saw her in that minivan with Chad sooo….” Yes! my thoughts exactly.