New Year’s OPEN THREAD 2014: Braver / Bolder Edition

Happy New Year, Autostraddlers!

The past year was a whole lot of ups and downs; maybe you’re sad to see it go, maybe (probably) you’re not. You know what’s more important than 2013 OR 2014, though, is YOU. You’re both the Keymaster and the Gatekeeper. We at Autostraddle have looked deep into our hearts and realized that if we want our 2014 to be fucking incredible, and we do, it’s gotta start with us being our bravest and boldest selves – taking no prisoners, kicking all the ass, and refusing to listen to the radio edits of Beyoncé singles. Here’s how we’re gonna be brave and bold in the new year. What about you?

Ali, Geekery Editor

This past year, I quit my day job to pursue my writing full-time. This next year? 2014 is the year of unfinished projects for me—every project that should be finished but isn’t, it’s get-it-done time. From my screenplay to my short story collection manuscript. And any of y’all who know me in life know that I always finish everything, and anything that remains unfinished is as it is because I’m terrified of it. So brave I will be in 2014.

Lauren, Contributing Editor

In 2014, I want to hesitate less. I want to stop self-sabotaging by convincing myself that I don’t really know the things that I truly do know. On the other hand, even though I know it’s ok to not know everything all the time, I need to actually believe that it’s ok to not always know all that is knowable, you know? I want to never look at a list of things millennials “need to be doing” or “need to be not doing” ever again, because even though I despise 99% of those lists (I reserve 1% for the lists that say things like “millenials should buy cheap wine” and “millenials need to stop reading lists about millennials”), I still have a tendency to get sucked in and it just doesn’t work for me. It only makes me hesitate more and I want to hesitate less.

 Maddie, Contributing Editor

In 2014 I will bravely graduate from college. I will keep running further than I ever have before. I will find new creative and productive ways to take a stand on things I believe in that are hard for me to say and hard for others to hear.

 Chelsea, Writer

Ever since I fell in love and entered into a monogamous relationship with a cis straight guy, I felt like I was somehow negating my queer identity. Despite being the happiest I’ve ever been (he’s the Ben Wyatt to my Leslie Knope) I still felt like I wasn’t a good enough gay. As if there was a wrong way to be bisexual or queer. These fears made me hesitant to join the AS community (which I did) attend A-Camp (which was incredible) and apply to be a writer (which I’m doing now because you are reading words I just wrote!) NEWSFLASH: there isn’t a right or wrong way to be queer. Don’t worry about being gay enough, kids. There is no cardboard cut-out of Sappho at the entrance to the Great Gay Rollercoaster that demands that you be this gay to ride. The Narwhal Revolution is here, it’s queer, so deal with it! In 2014 I’m going to be the bravest narwhal with the least internalized biphobia you ever did see.

Laura, Contributing Editor

In 2014 I’m going to initiate more… everything. Passively waiting to be asked helps no one. I’m going to be a braver, bolder initiator this year.

Gabby, Writer

I’m gonna be braver than:

– All the unmanageable expectations placed on me by people who I share a bloodline with
– Other people’s projected anxieties and fears
– The never-ending dimensions of my waistline
– Color blindness and white privilege
– Unregulated corporations and consumerism
– A pair of leggings
– Anyone who says they suffer from anything that isn’t an actual disease or unfathomable human condition (aka one suffers from starvation not affluenza etc)
– The last drop of bourbon in my bottle of Bulleit
– That time my dad told me I’d never make the high school basketball team and it crushed me so bad that I didn’t even try at the try-outs
– All the things I fear when the sun is 30 minutes from rising and no one knows I’m awake and I’m too busy tearing myself down to watch the sun do its thang
– The Kardashians
– Ugly and fat like they always have and always will call me
– My muthafucking asthma

And like, if I could be as brave as I am in my daydreams then I’d have this life shit on lock, and that’s the goal for 2014.

Mey, Contributing Editor

Ever since coming out as trans about two years ago, I’ve purposefully avoided the dating scene, mostly because I feel like being a fat trans woman makes me undesirable in queer communities. So my pledge for 2014 is to be brave and bold and get back into the dating game (hey there Autostraddle readers).

Stef, Music Editor

Guys, to say I had a rough 2013 would be an enormous understatement. As I reached the end of my twenties, I became slowly and then quite rapidly disillusioned with my job, the city I lived in, and my whole life that I’d worked so hard to build here. The week before this fall’s A-Camp, I lost my grandmother, the person I loved the most in the world. I’m still recovering from it, and I’ll never be able to look back on this year without thinking of her and how much I miss her.

In 2014 I’m changing everything. Can I tell you a secret (if you promise not to tell my job)? I’m quitting soon, and at the end of the month when my lease is up, I’m moving 3,000 miles away. I grew up in New Jersey, went to school in Philadelphia, and have lived in New York City my entire adult life. I’ve been in this apartment longer than I’ve lived anywhere, save for the house I grew up in, and part of me still can’t imagine not calling this place home. Soon I’ll be a six-hour plane ride away from my family and almost everyone I’ve ever known, and I still have no idea where I’m going to live or how I’m going to get around or what I’m going to do for work. All I know is that I’m thirty years old, there is nothing keeping me where I am right now, and I desperately want something new. I’m rejecting everything that feels comfortable and familiar, and diving headfirst into a whole new life. I’ve been bouncing back and forth between thrilled and frozen with terror for weeks now.

So yeah, I guess you could say I’m making some changes next year. I don’t really know I expect to manage the upcoming challenges, most of which I can’t even begin to predict – but I do know that I’m ready for them.

Kate, Contributing Editor

In 2014, I will be unwavering in my commitment to making me, myself, and I the number one priority in my life. No more sacrificing my self-care, no more feeling shitty about removing toxic elements from my life, no more apologizing for the things that make me feel good. Also, I want to become an expert sharpshooter and finally buy pants that fit.

Chelsey, Editorial Assistant

I recently quit my life in Orlando and moved to Los Angeles. In 2014, I plan to be braver and bolder by rebuilding it here with things I’m actually passionate about instead of those offer stability but not ultimate happiness.

Brittani, Sports Editor/Comedy Writer

I will be braver and bolder by answering the phone more.

Lizz, Fashion/Style Editor

This year I’ve resolved to write about emerging issues in women’s health and healthcare without worrying that I might offend colleagues in medicine.

This is also the year I’ve decided it’s okay to sometimes hate on Emily from Pretty Little Liars.

Yvonne, Associate Editor

I’m ready to slay 2013 and all of its negative post-grad energy with a gold, emerald-encrusted sword and ride into the sunset on a tiara-wearing purple unicorn holding hands with 2014. Here’s how I’m going to be bold and brave in the new year.

I will stop procrastinating. Honestly, I think I procrastinate because of anxiety issues so I’ve never learned to properly deal with it. Whatever the cause of my procrastination, I want to get better at dealing with it and be more productive than ever! Also, I need to read something substantial. I’m an editor for crying out loud. I do read every day, a mix of regurgitated shit on the Internet and lots of good ole’ long form journalism, but never a full book. I want to change this ASAP!

I want to volunteer and invest some serious time into an organization or cause that I care deeply about. I don’t want to just help out an organization for a few hours on a weekend. No, I want to make a commitment to make a change over time in any way I can. Since I’m new to Dallas, I think this will give me a chance to really get to know where I live and see what needs to be changed to make it better. I’m mostly interested in volunteering with an organization that helps undocumented folks.

I want to write about more things I’m passionate about. I worked for a local gay and lesbian magazine for the first half of the year and basically wrote the whole thing cover to cover for three issues. (Yes, I know, ridiculous!) But none of those words meant anything to me. I wrote lots of puff pieces on rich, white business owners who happened to be gay. Thank god I don’t work there anymore and work here, my queergrrrl, feminist dream! But I have to tell you, I’m very disappointed in myself because I don’t think Autostraddle has seen my full potential as a writer. I’m mad at myself for being complacent and comfortable with what I’m producing and not going the distance. (I think that’s a line from Hercules.) I want to be better for you, for my team and for me. I promise I’m gonna kick myself in the ass and write with my heart, mind and soul.

Sarah, DIY/Food Editor

I plan to have more patience in 2014, both with myself and others and situations I get myself into, and to approach all new things with open eyes.

Rose, Writer

I’m going to be braver and bolder in 2014 by not taking the easy way out, and doing the hard work that’s needed to achieve my dreams. I’m going to be more confident so I spend more time getting to know new people in my town and less time worrying about drama on Tumblr. And I’m going to write more articles! (I promise.)

Cara, Contributing Editor

I’m really terrible at getting out of bed in the morning. Earlier this year I decided it was time to change this once and for all, so I sought advice. Someone suggested that I try “flying out of bed,” aka just springing up onto my feet as soon as my alarm clock goes off, without all the sighing and snoozing and rolling around and considerations of whether getting up is a good idea after all. It works AWESOME. It’s like jumping into an icy pond rather than wading in slowly, except instead of an icy pond, it’s the rest of the day.

In 2014 I would like to apply the “fly out of bed” principle to other areas of my life. I spend a whole lot of time wondering whether or not the things I want to do (or even the things I have to do) are “really worth doing.” It’s time-consuming and stressful and makes me cynical. Less of that. From now on I will be flying into everything as fast as I can.

Kristen, Contributing Editor

This year I’ll overcome those little insecurities that have held me back over the past few years. It’s time to ignore the critics in my head, take a selfie or two and sit on a goddamn bicycle.

Carolyn, NSFW Editor

Last year I threw out and ended a lot of things. This year I am going to keep and start a lot of things. I’m also going to be braver and bolder and better and more honest and less fearful, in the hopes that aiming high will inspire me to procrastinate a little less and floss a little more.

Rachel, Senior Editor

In 2014 I want to be brave and write more stuff that makes me nervous to publish — weird stuff, stuff that’s personal, and stuff that I have to use a telephone and/or leave my apartment to research. I want to be more open and honest with the people in my life, which is totally terrifying, and that includes talking more to the people in my offline life about this weirdo website I work for — maybe you’ve heard of it, autostraddle dot com — without worrying what they’ll think. I’m also officially deciding to be excited rather than scared about whatever comes next after I finish my graduate program in April. I’ll let y’all know how that one pans out.

Laneia, Executive Editor

My boldness and bravery is going to be about trust in 2014. I’m gonna be bold enough to trust that I have something important to say, and trust myself to say it well, and brave enough to believe that somebody will give a shit. And because there’ll be all this trust, there’ll also be honesty. I also really want/need to learn more things! So I’m going to be brave enough to fail and fuck up while I’m teaching myself these things, and bold enough to believe that I deserve to learn them.

I’ll also be carrying over a resolution from 2013 that revolves around me wearing whatever the fuck I want forever and ever amen.

Riese, Editor in Chief

I want to trust everything more. I want to trust love. I want to remember that revolutions aren’t started in safety, but with guts. Being CEO of this website means there are heaps of people — including some of the people I love more than anything else in this world — counting on me to pay them and give them life, which means I’m scared — no, petrified — that I could say or do the wrong thing and ruin this for everybody; ruin everybody’s hard work and everything we’ve built together. I am so afraid that you will leave — you, who work here, you, who read this, you, who love me — that I’ve let that fear become louder than my leadership and my love. I find myself writing with a keener eye on how my words could be misinterpreted or taken out of context than on my interpretation of words and the context of my own ideas. I need to remember how we got here to begin with. I need to accept that not everyone will like me, and write for those with clear eyes and open runagayhearts. I want my writing to be guided by what I think and how you feel, instead of what I want you to think of me and how I feel. I want to remember the revolution, take risks and change the world. I want to make a mistake and not feel like the whole world is ending. I want to be myself. I want to remember how to trust myself to be the leader that I know I am.

Share your plans for boldness and bravery in the comments!

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77 Comments

  2. Here we are in 2014 and currently my most pressing goal is get rid of this hangover. Also – move out from living with my partner, learn some jiu-jitsu, finish my undergrad and my Honours… I want to start prioritising myself and my own happiness rather than spending all my time looking after other people.

  3. Oh good an openthread! Been wondering when this would be up. =)

    All I know is I just hope AS doesn’t go anywhere. I extremely enjoy reading EVERYTHING on here even if my reactions are few. The sense of community is alive!

    In 2014, I am committing myself to getting my wife here. It’s that time LDR peeps, we’re almost there! That and to be more bold,to stop doubting myself.

  4. My 2013 was an amazing one. I truly showed myself how brave I can really be. I went to A-Camp, met some amazing people, I came out to my friends and family, most importantly my parents. I did all these things I wanted to do and finally just did them, I decided to just be me.

    So 2014 – I want to leave my small town in the Midwest, I want to jump out and dive straight into a new city, a new situation. I don’t want to take the safe route and live 20 min. from my parents. I want to experience all this world has to offer. I want to go back to school for Graphic Design so that I can finally put my skill into what I love and make money doing it.

    I’m scared…how will I make it all work. How will I get to my dreams? I’m not sure but I will fight hard to get this. I have a path now, I have a vision and nothing is going to hold me (Ain’t nothing going to break my stride, ain’t nothing going to hold me down, oh no, I’ve got to keep on moving).

    So that is what I’m going to do. I’m leaving the Safe Harbor. I’m going to Dream, Learn, Discover. This is it!

  5. I’m going to stop being scared to: ride a bike in this hilly city, because I will have thighs of STEEL once I get into it; ask off from work to go out of town; build websites for other people; play my own music in front of people by myself if it comes to that; apply for jobs I know I can do even though I don’t have anything close to a degree. Being proactive is key. I’m getting too old to keep fucking around like I did the last couple of years.

  6. “I’m gonna be braver than a pair of leggings.” –Gabby

    I’m wearing black leggings!
    *fist bump*
    =^^=

    2013 is the year I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I finally felt very happy/satisfied. I hope to continue on this way with 2014, 2015, 2016…etc

    All the best to AS readers
    And Thank you Team AS!

  7. I’ve been becoming a femme to help me feel good about my looks. It’s all pixie cuts, makeup, pierced ears, and nice clothes from now on. Also, I look like Valorie Curry, and it’s fucking lovely. High five to my self esteem!

  8. 2013 was just the beginning of something amazing. I went to A Camp and met some of the most wonderful people in my life. In 2014 I will go back to camp. I want to embrace the same “leap out of bed” approach to life as Cara.

  9. I just ordered $120 worth of Chinese food. The delivery guy was definitely expected more people to be in my apartment than were present.

  11. I’m going to stick up for myself and for others, and try to be more hopeful about my future and that of the world. Time to take off my heavy boots.

  12. If anybody’s at-homing it this new year’s, i gotta say Stud Life on Netflix instant was pretty legit. Thanks for the inspiring thread and comments AS <3

  13. My 2013 was actually the first truly good year I’ve had in awhile. I broke free from my 11+ years of chronic depression, and though I worry that it may come back again, I haven’t had any major depression symptoms since March. I also spoke with my Mom again and our relationship is better than ever. :)

    I’m going to take the strength I gained in 2013 and use it to my advantage to keep making things better for myself and those I love in whatever ways I can.

    Happy New Year, everyone!!

  14. This year was full of tough things, and this next year will be some of the same. But I think this time I’ll be able to keep standing solid instead of falling over.

  15. Autostraddle has been awesome, you all have been awesome. I learned more about myself in the brief time here than I have ever learned. I will be bolder and braver in 2014 by making time to finish my writing projects (which scares the bejebbers out of me because they are so personal and its hard putting yourself out there). Also, as lame as it may sound, I will tell at least one person about who I am . . . who I really am . . . being fully honest like I have never been before. And that is so scary. But you all have inspired me to do it. Thank you and happy new year to us all.

  16. First of all I just love this thing about being braver and bolder. Love it.
    2013 has been a bitch. A stupid bitch and I’m happy to be done with it.
    In 2014 I’m going to be bolder about actually talking about gay things with my (still uncomfortable with a queer family member) family.
    In 2014 I’m going to be braver about feeling confident that I have something important to say– I’m going to blog more and write the first draft of the novel rolling around in my head
    In 2014 I’m going to treat my body better by eating healthier food and exercising regularly
    In 2014 I’m going to concentrate on accepting the things I cannot change and working to change the things I can.
    In 2014 I am going to trust that I am kissable and fuckable.
    And I’m going to read more books.

  17. In 2014, I will earn my MFA, finish a draft of my first full-length musical, and have a reading of said musical. I will work at one of my favorite theaters on my favorite musical currently running. I will be braver, take more chances & risks, and not be afraid of failure or rejection. I will (hopefully) get my first full-time job and financially support myself.

    In the Spice Girls post, Carmen wrote: “If you’re going out on a limb and opening yourself up to love, you deserve something awesome, beautiful, and amazing at the other end – period.” I want that to happen. I deserve it.

  18. I love this theme, and thank-you Autostraddle; I think you’ve inspired me to try and be braver and bolder at being brave and bold in 2014. xx

  19. Happy 2014, Autostraddle! You have been my port in a shitty, ridiculous storm this past year. Thank you so much for all you do.

    This year I resolve to be brave, braver, bravest. To fail better and dare greatly. And quit crying so much, damn.

  20. I’m trying really hard not to have high expectations for 2014. 2013 passed before I could really get in the groove of things. I spent the first month or so of the year mostly laid up in bed with a broken leg, and then a huge chunk of the year living like a zombie on night shift. So it really seemed like a ghost year to me. This year, I’m just going to focus on how I want to feel. I want to feel like I’m accomplishing anything, as long as it’s good. I want to feel present and enjoy each day and have fewer days where I just sit around the house on the computer. I want to feel things more. I’ve been on anti-depressants since I was 14, and I wouldn’t be here without them, but sometimes I just want things to hurt or to feel amazing. I want to meet other queer women and make queer friends and get a crush on someone again (I always thought being single sucked, and now I don’t even have a real person to crush on, and THAT is particularly soul-sucking). I’m not going to put a number on my resolutions: I’m not going to say I want to lose (x) pounds, write (x) hours a day, exercise (x) hours a week, read (x) books a month, etc. When I put time limits or quantity limits on something, I feel too much pressure and I always fail. I don’t want to end up on December 31st, 2014, realizing as I did this evening, that I had accomplished almost nothing that year, and I didn’t feel well-rested or happy or smarter. If anything, 2013 was the year when I realized just how quickly time could pass, and 2014 will be the year that I start learning to make the most of it.

  21. 2013 has been … Weird. I started the year in a relationship, and with completely different goals than the ones I have today – this year has definitely had its ups and downs! I do believe my years are slowly getting better, though.

    In 2014, I want to get to know myself. After spending over two years in a relationship, I want to learn about single me and everything I am … Also sex. I want to have loads of sex, and that’s going to be a big thing for me.

    After an extremely disappointing academic year, in 2014, I’m going to get the best grades possible – not only do I have to do it, I ~can do it.

    2014 is going to be our year!

    (I will also read lots of autostraddle. Three years strong!)

    • Also sex. I want to have loads of sex, and that’s going to be a big thing for me.

      high five, friend.

  23. 2013 wasn’t exactly peachy but I have high hopes for 2014. In 2014 I get to completely start over as I am leaving my home town to go to college; I’m hoping it’s going to be a clean break. Also, hola from the other side of the world, here in Australia it’s nearly the 2nd already :)

  24. Honestly, it’s going to be hard to top 2013 as far as “life accomplishments” go. But while I hit some pretty big milestones in nearly all aspects of my life — including my queer identity — I’ve still thought that my queerness is something that I have to keep separate from everything else.
    So maybe 2014 will be the year that I figure out how to make my queer identity an actual part of my life (aside from secretly reading AS on my phone at work, etc). Maybe I should go to A Camp (because I totally wanted to last year but then made up a bunch of ridiculous excuses and didn’t)?

  25. This year, I plan to finally start commenting on autostraddle! boom, easiest resolution to keep and complete /ever/

  26. I completely stalled on finishing my master’s degree in 2013, and 2014 needs to be the year where I either suck it up and finish or just let it go and join a hippie commune somewhere where degrees and careers don’t matter.

    • Ditto! If you find that hippie commune, let me know. Otherwise, many fist bumps of thesis-completion-solidarity!

  29. I hate navel-gazing, but y’all won’t judge me (I hope).

    2013 was a crap year. My husband took and passed the bar exam, but has been unable to find a job or drum up enough business in his law practice. I’ve been the sole breadwinner for 3.5 years, working 60-70 hours a week and going to school for my Masters degree part-time. We can’t get out of our piles of credit card debt on my salary alone. I’m angry with him. Add on top of that the slow dawning realization that I may be a lesbian instead of the bisexual I’ve always thought myself, and I’m pissed at myself.

    This year, I’m going into therapy to figure my shit out. I suspect I’ll be leaving my husband after the credit cards are paid off. I plan to place a priority on self-care. I want to read more books for fun instead of just for school. I want to travel more, visit family, work on my photography skills. I want to cultivate one or two deep, strong friendships this year versus having many acquaintances. I want to be in the financial position to buy a place of my own.

    I want to regain the spark I’ve lost.

    • Hey girl, sorry your year sucked. It sounds like you’ve found perspective on your situation and are in a place to regain some agency over your own life, so run with it. Bravely go where no spark has gone before!

      • Thanks for the kind words. After much hemming and hawing, I went to a yoga class where they did a burning bowl ceremony. It was good to burn the negativity from last year and start on a good note. :)

  30. “In 2014 I want to hesitate less. I want to stop self-sabotaging by convincing myself that I don’t know the things that I truly do know”. – This. This a hundred times.

  31. I’m on board with Kate. If I could learn to chill the fuck out and prioritize myself for a hot little minnie, I’d be an insanely effective human being. Power-house-fierce-lightning realness. My goals are to believe that I deserve the happiness I’ve surrounded myself with and to take care of myself.

  32. My goal is to not fail out of grad school and fix the mess I made by failing two classes my first semester. And also pass my qualifying exam.

    Or decide to drop out and move back to my home state and find a job. Either one will work. HOW DO I PICK.

  33. I’ve decided it’s time for me to stop hiding: from myself, from the world, from life, from the terrifying chasm of uncertainty that is the future…

    Step one: I finally finally finally came out to my mom last night! I am now officially out to all of my immediate family, which actually feels weirdly anticlimactic… or maybe it just hasn’t really sunk in yet. I’m just glad I can finally stop feeling guilty for keeping secrets.

    Step two: figure out what the hell I’m doing with the next chunk of my life. More grad school? Orchestra auditions? I haven’t the faintest clue. Wish me luck!

  34. Resolution #1: Completed by making an Autostraddle account after daily, compulsive refreshing since 2010. ONLY TOOK ME THREE YEARS.

    This year, I’m trying to add my voice to the internet instead of just reading. So my other 2014 resolutions? Be mad. Stay mad. Keep talking about race and intersectionality. Turns out that society isn’t changing by me being polite about it.

    Thanks for being here and fostering the fire, Autostraddle!

  35. /toddles in gingerly

    i will read this later when i feel like i can, but just sliding on through to be like, “how are you?” hope everyone’s heads & stomachs are doing okay now.

    /scoots out

  36. 2014, you temptress. you look so lovely and full of promise. it’s almost like you’re daring me to finish my master’s this may and come on back to colorado. how many words in english mean “mountain”? i plan to find all of them.

  37. I identify with so much of what was written and commented here!

    In 2014 I want to get a job that more closely aligns with communications or leadership of organizations…something I won’t dread getting up for each day. I want to get my writing published at at least one real-ish online or print publication – as many as possible, really, but at least one!

    I want to keep working really hard at my relationships this year to make sure I’m being as supportive as I can be of my girlfriend, my family members, and my friends. I want to work on being as open-minded as I can and I keep learning how I can be a better ally to other humans who don’t have the advantages I do. I also want to make more Autostraddle friends – heyyyyyy there :)

    And lastly, I want to write every day. Even if only a paragraph. I really need to do that for my own sanity and progress as a human being.

    I’m excited! Here’s to 2014!

  38. To be less secretive, more forthright, more present in the world and with others. To realize I have, in many ways, done enough.

    To actually take and collect selfies.

  39. Here are two of mine (so far):

    – Make that move from the ‘burbs to the city *finally* happen.
    – *Finally* find out what sort of career I want to change to.

  40. I woke up and somehow didn’t give in to my body’s need for junk food, despite the hangover. I intend to start as I mean to go on… so 2014 is about taking care of myself in all of the shallowest and deepest ways – after what was a stormy, but well-finished 2013.

    Also, I plan on having an outstanding hair year.

    Also, also… A-Camp. Think I need to aim to make it happen.

  41. Happy new year everyone.

    I think that, in 2014, I want to make a conscious effort to, as a tremendously wise person once said, “make good and radical people smile, feel loved, feel present”. Every day.

  43. I’m gonna be more honest. I’m gonna learn how to say no, especially when it’s not easy. I’m gonna stop worrying about the fact that I don’t really know who I am yet, and just start BE me, whoever that might be. I’m gonna learn how to talk about my feelings (yes, I think I’m one of the few bi/lesbian girls who can’t do that, help.). I’m gonna commenting on AS more, even if I feel that my written english sucks.
    Have a good year y’all!

    • Do you have a pet? I find an acceptable way of avoiding feelings is giving sad people an animal to cuddle until they stop emotioning at you. Then you see if you can fix the problem.

      I might need this resolution too :/

      • Also, I might need to learn to html properly. I meant to quote this: “I’m gonna learn how to talk about my feelings (yes, I think I’m one of the few bi/lesbian girls who can’t do that, help.)”

        I don’t know how I italicised. Help?

    • You are not alone w/r/t not talking about feelings! I can’t do that, either. Let’s work on it together!

  44. This year I’m coming out the closet to my family because I want to stop doing things that ultimately make me feel small and less than.

    I also hope to find love this year (because I’m a sap like that).

  45. In 2014, I’m going to have a conversation in Spanish in Spain.

    I’m going to take a one way flight to London.

    I’m going to flirt with strange women even if I don’t think they’ll be into girls.

    I’m going to travel alone.

    I’m going to pay off my student loans (stop laughing, I come from a socialist country, they’re only fifteen grand, and I’ve been saving all through uni, so it’s actually doable).

    I’m going to experience having no one rely on me but me.

    I’m going to be terrified.

  46. In 2014, I’m going to log in to Autostraddle for the first time in 2 years.

    So much changed and AS grew and grew. Writers left, or became different people, and new ones kept popping up; A-Camp became a thing, and then another, and then another, and on and on; the site redesign! The last time I logged in as a user, there was an AS tinychat hangout (rip?) and we broke our hearts on formspring.

    It feels weird and like I missed something, some step (because I did – years’ worth -), so: bolder. Look at me. I’m back!

  48. In 2014 I am going to live more like my Acamp self, ie. my best self. I spend so much time with guards up in my life that I think I miss out on a lot of opportunities. So I am going to try and live every day like I am at camp (but with more sleep and (slightly) less feelings) and be brave enough to work for what I want, take what I need, and be open to new experiences.

  49. you’re all so inspiring. readers and writers both.

    i feel very much like i’m at a crossroads. a lot of my closest friends and allies in this scary, hard city have left for greener pastures.. and i’m still here. when asked, i can tell you a lot of why i still want to be here, but i feel like my life is being emptied of my heart one drip or departing friend at a time.
    i’m turning 30 this year, and so i feel like 2014 must be significant for that reason.
    nearing 30 is nothing like 22 year old me thought it would be. it’s better, but it’s also less earth shattering than it sounds when you’re 22, or 25. but i still wanna do it up big, i hope this year is one to remember.

    i hope that 2014 holds good things for everyone in this amazing community.

  50. I hope it’s not too late to jump on the braver/bolder train! This year I am going to be braver by being honest with myself about what I can do and saying No when I need to. I will also budget. That’s not especially brave or bold but it does start with B and needs to happen. 2014: brought to you by the letter B!

  52. Please nobody laugh but I think my goal for this year is to make more friends and hopefully find a girlfriend

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