NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Packing For The Sexual Revolution

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ At the Hairpin, Lindsay King-Miller (“A Queer Chick”) answers questions on relationship disparity, having a husband and a mistress, asexuality and bi invisibility:

“Lesbians and bisexual girls en masse went through a phase about seven years ago where we were constantly getting crushes on straight girls, and it was a huge emotional roller coaster for us all. Every time they called us we would blush even if no one was around, and when they flirted in that platonic way straight girls do and played with our hair and called us pretty, we felt like we were going to catch on fire and die, and once or twice we got drunk and almost confessed our feelings but swallowed them just in time. Then one morning we all simultaneously woke up happy and clear-eyed and thought, ‘Wow, I’m so glad that’s out of my system.’ Now? If we think there’s even a slight chance we might be developing an interest in a straight girl, we delete her number from our phone and avoid every place we’ve ever seen her, including the office where we both work. So if you want pussy to be an option any time in your future, you’re gonna need to put it out there that you’re queer.”

 

+ The nominees for the 2013 Feminist Porn Awards have been announced, and include titles like Lesbian Curves, Butches and Babes, The Art of Sex, Strap on Desires and The Real L-Word XXX: NYC. + At the Telegraph, five women of different generations discuss their experiences with sex, sexual health and reproductive rights.

+ Go Deeper Press is looking for stories about Sex With Sporty Queers.

+ Autostraddle has reviewed the New York Toy Collective’s Shilo Pack & Play and the Love Bump.

+ This week the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health discusses Sexual Studies: Sexual Health and Youth Counseling – Yay Or Nay?

  Sexual health issues are often related to both mental and physical health concerns, yet tend to not be discussed, especially with youths and those who are sick or disabled.  It is vital, therefore, that we gain a better understanding about why practitioners do or do not discuss these issues so that we can begin to address the issue.

+ Slut shaming can come from within:

“Although I know doctors are trained not to judge, and this doctor in particular had been particularly kind, helpful and professional when I’d seen her previously, in my head, all of a sudden the number (at best an approximation as I haven’t kept an exact count in year) seemed like cause for alarm. Even if I never had to say it out loud and its size was simply one more piece of data for her to use in evaluating me, something about it made me erase what I’d typed in the online form and halve it. As it turned out, she didn’t even ask me a single thing about my number, so that fretting was for naught—except that it taught me a lesson: slut shaming isn’t just something other people do to us, but something we can do to ourselves.”

+ Sex gets better with age, especially if you think critically about cultural standards of attractiveness:

“In a world that only presents the latest 18-25-year-olds as sexy, it’s a challenge to not compare oneself or one’s partner with that fantasy […] But it takes more than that. Every time you compliment someone’s appearance by telling them that they look young, you’re reinforcing the idea that we lose value as we age. I feel sadness around that because it encourages us to deny our histories, to pretend we’re something we aren’t, and to create an image of who we wish we were rather than celebrating who we’ve become. And let’s not forget that many of the cosmetic treatments to make us look younger don’t work all that well and are promoted with ads that are photoshopped like crazy. My willing suspension of disbelief snapped a long time ago.”

+ Here are two girls kissing for a long time

http://vimeo.com/46074468

+ On March 28th at 7:00 PM, Babeland is holding an event just for Autostraddlers at its Soho location in New York!

The “Kickass Cocktail Party with Autostraddle” will be all about sex tips for queer women. We know you might not necessarily need them, but we’re sure you’ll want to try them when you hear all about Babeland’s favorite oral, strap-on and G-spot techniques, curated with your needs in mind. Babeland sex educators will be around after the workshop to answer all your questions. It will be super queer, super trans* friendly, and super sex positive (obviously!).

+ At The Guardian, Fern Brady argues that “porn for all,” not a ban, is better for women:

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to switch porno off because I’ve felt it was misogynistic or formulaic, but that doesn’t mean I want my consumption of porn to be regulated. Blow job scenes, for example, are overly long in almost all mainstream content. With the exception of a smattering of offerings from women directors such as Anna Span, female viewers are constantly reminded that this stuff isn’t for them. Yet shouldn’t that mean we’d be better off striving for greater equality within pornographic images, not hastily writing off all sexual expression on film as sexist?

+ Babeland wants you to be a sexual adventurer, which’s why it’s offering 15% off things like its Bondage Tape, Sex Sling, Leaf Life Vibe, Bend Over Beginner Kit and so much more!

+ Having trouble getting wet? You should read this, it could help.

+ Rachel Kramer Bussel reviews The Feminist Porn Book:

“‘Women challenge the status quo, because we are never it … Porn hasn’t even begun to leverage the female experience of desire, arousal and sex, through the female lens,’ Makelovenotporn.tv founder Cindy Gallop wrote recently in The Independent. Yet while there’s a lot of work left to be done, these pioneers and their progeny are seeking to create porn in their own images, sourcing talent from within their communities and taking into consideration a host of concerns that go far beyond cash. The Feminist Porn Book is both a scholarly and intensely personal look at what’s been accomplished so far, and where feminist porn is going.”

+ At Dodson and Ross, sometimes the best orgasms are alone.

+ Facebook’s new “Bang With Friends” app is not just for banging your friends, allegedly.

via rodeoh

“rodeoh: a different kind of ride” via rodeoh tumblr

Disclaimer: All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.

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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.

35 Comments

  3. Maybe I’m in the minority, but I never fell hard for a straight girl. Growing up in a small Southern city, the straight girls were pretty traditional and I couldn’t get into that. In cities/towns like the one I grew up in, you kind of know where you stand early on. Now that I’m older, I still don’t fall head over heels for straight women. I fall for women who get it…get what it means to truly connect with another woman. A straight woman may be physically attractive to me, but that’s where it ends for me. That’s why I don’t get why some of us go crazy when straight actresses play lesbian roles. Tbh, it does nothing for me…sexually.

    • Same here. I had a big crush on a straight girl for much of high school, but since then–never. I like my girls very queer.

    • I agree, most of the straight girls I meet are boring and not attractive to me at all. I like girls who can talk about feminism and queer topics.

      • This is why I feel like I am such a bitch at times!

        SWG (Straight White Girl): OMG I just want to fight the patriarchy!!!

        Me: Yes, ummmm inter-sectionality?

        SWG: I love Bell Hooks!

        Me: *surprised* (long story on why) “O-o-h OH!????”

        SWG: Yeah, I don’t see race, and I just wish people would get over it. I mean calling someone a “cracker” is just as bad as the n-word…seriously. IT’S ALL BAD!!!!”

        • Umm no, you are 100% not a bitch for not wanting to deal with SWG bullshit. My feelings while talking with straight cis white people about anything related to race/LGBTQ stuff/gender/intersectionality are a combination of murderous rage and sheer exasperation. And yes, that goes for even the “progressive”/”liberal”/”accepting” ones. It’s so nice to finally find someone who meets my minimum standards of human decency, aka not a fountain spewing constant microaggressions.

          • I’ve been trying this “be nice despite your rage,” and I swear I have broken out on my forehead, it’s not sexy for me anymore, lol.

            I need to find someone that meets my minimum standards of human decency!!! It’s scary that I’m in such a liberal place (NYU) and this shit happens all the time.

            I wish sweet lady kisses came in a bottle like aspirin, they make everything (for me) feel better about life.

            *watches video*

      • I think (hopefully) that you know some straight women who are into feminism and queer politics. My sister being straight (sooooo straight) can school on queer politics when the moment arises and it is AMAZING TO SEE!

      • Wow, this thread is bullshit, to be honest. If we’re going to generalize like this I could bring up some really fucking offensive and oppressive things that queer women have said. Like, for example, being patronizing and condescending towards other girls just because the don’t want to fuck you.

  4. I have to admit, I get so distracted by the pictures in these posts that I never manage to read anything beyond the second or third little blurb of text. I always scroll back up to the top with every intention of reading instead of just looking the second time around…but then there are girls and boobs there goes that plan! Every. Sunday. I suppose that means you guys at Autostraddle are doing one fine job of, well, doing your job :)

    • Wait, there is text on this page??? I only read the title and then I’m done. Especially when you see images like number two. I’ll just go wipe the drool from my chin now…

  5. I still have straight girl crushes. Sadly I think most of my crushes fall into that category…

  6. i think i only had straight girl crushes when i still thought *i* was a straight girl. kind of a “it’s so clear now,” hindsight thing.

  7. You guys I am actually having way too many feelings about that video. Like. An embarrassing amount of feelings.

  9. I fell for a straight girl who was married. I too was a straight girl at the time, and not long out of a marriage. Now we are together, and all lesbo all the time, and it makes so much sense in every way that I wonder if we ever really were straight??

  12. I would say something along the lines of “crushing on straight girls FTW” because I totally relate to this, but this isn’t really winning, is it? In fact, it’s basically the opposite of winning.
    I guess I just need to find more creative ways to comment on websites…

  14. I want to love that video, but I just keeping about how smudged my glasses get when I make out with them on. I imagine that girl is seeing through filmy lenses at the end of 8 minutes.

    • That used to happen to me too (and probably still would if I had anyone to make out with).

      But, you know, what does one do? Somehow remember to take the glasses off every time? Carry wipes in a pocket?

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