Hi human beings! Did you see the soccer game yesterday? Did you see Pinoe’s tears of happiness? Did you cry your own tears of happiness? We all know Hansen did. Of course some other relevant things have happened at the Olympics thus far too and I hope you made Pimm’s Cup for all of them! And/or you should totally try your culinary hand at S’mores 4 Ways, peanut butter and banana ravioli, or blueberry ice cream. This week we also watch the super gay NewFest film festival with Vanessa, a Pretty Little Liars with Lizz, and The Real L Word with Riese. I learned how to do some cool things by myself like make this table and these envelopes. Envelopes just reminded me of licking, which made me think of… dogs. Specifically writers with their dogs, duh. In the news this week, there was much Republican ado over an out pansexual politician, Michigan is being kinda shitty, a study says buying makeup doesn’t make you happier, and a doctor says studies are sometimes misogynistic. And in other news, there was this unreleased Santana coming out scene that happened, plus, Riese made a list of the top ten Jane Lynch characters ever. We rung in a new month with this month’s calendar girls and then rung in a new era of exploration with Curiosity’s Mars landing! We talked about hair: How to wash it, and shit that people say about it when it’s natural. Laura let us all know a little something about Philly, and Fonseca gave a shout out to the South. And, of course, Kate wants you to make out with her. Any questions?

On Olympic Women’s Soccer Open Thread: Gold Medal Match:

The This Is What You Call A Box Block Award to Cassandra:

“Ahem.”

On What If We Raised $100,000? What Then?:

The Lookout World! Award to Tiger Gray: “It’s official. You guys will now be subjected to my ads.”

The Are You A Pitcher Or A Catcher? Award to Pand: “I’d like to draw the parallels between this fundraiser and the film ‘Field of Dreams’…

If you build it, they will come…

Riese, Lesbians will come Riese. They’ll come to Autostraddle for reasons they can’t even fathom. They’ll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they’re doing it possibly for cookies, maybe for NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday. They’ll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won’t mind if you look around, you’ll say. It’s only $20 per person, $20 per person can insure that the AS team eat and drink heartily, basking in the fruits of their labour. They’ll pass over the money without even thinking about it, the thought of Alex Vega dancing a whispered promise that they’ll do anything to see, for it is money they have and strong queer media outlets with light humored articles that they lack. And they’ll walk out to the bleachers at A-Camp, sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon, Singing songs of Tegan and Sara and talking of who killed Jenny.And they’ll watch the website blossom and it’ll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they’ll have to brush them away from their faces aswell as their tears of joy and laughter at being able to read anything involving Julie Goldman without wanting to hate fuck the shit out autostraddle for being so awesome yet so slow. People will come Riese. The one constant through all the years, Riese, has been TRLW recaps. the queer community has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But TRLW recaps has marked the time. This website, that strap on scene from season one: it’s a part of our past, Riese. It reminds of us of all that was once good and it could be again. Oh… Lesbians will come Riese. Lesbians will most definitely come.”

On The Real L Word 304 Recap: Scissor Sisters Meet Tongue Twisters:

The So Not a Deb Award to sameoldclaire: 

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!