If you live on the East Coast of the United States of America then it’s probably really cold. Honestly, I suggest that you read a book or an essay or something. But if you’re too drunk to do that, then good news! That box in the corner is chock-full of winter entertainment for you and yours to feast on all winter long, even if you live on the West Coast, like I do.
 Winter 2012 Television Guide
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Smash (NBC) – NEW
Mondays at 10pm, starts Feb 6
Smash is, without a doubt, the most hotly anticipated show of the winter season. Everyone will be tempted to compare it to Glee, because there’s music in it, but when Steven Spielberg pitched this show to Robert Greenblatt in 2009 (Greenblatt was president of Showtime at the time), he cited The West Wing and Upstairs, Downstairs as primary inspirations for the “romantic-dramedy musical soap opera.”
Greenblatt is at NBC now, and so is Smash. The show’s context is the creation, casting and production of a new Broadway Musical about Marilyn Monroe and stars include Debra Messing and Katherine McPhee. You’ll find serious Broadway muscle behind-the-scenes of the show about a show, such as playwright Theresa Rebeck, director Michael Mayer, and songwriters Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman.
My Special Hollywood Connection Actress Friend read the pilot of Smash last year and said “the pilot script is one of the best I’ve ever read.” Â NBC has a lot riding on this — the pilot alone cost $7.5 million dollars to produce.
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The Lying Game (ABC Family) – Season One
Mondays at 9pm, starts Jan 2nd
I have no idea why I’m obsessed with this show, it happened overnight and now I love it like I’d love my stepsister if I had a stepsister. The first ten episodes aired last fall, and the next set began last night. If you’re a big fan of mistaken identity situations, dark secrets, that creepy politician guy from Heroes, pretty girls who always dress up for school, twins and Lies, then you’ll definitely enjoy The Lying Game. Actually you don’t have to be a fan of that creepy politician guy from Heroes to like this show, and I’m speaking from experience obviously. It’s all part of ABC Family’s Night of Lies! Which brings me to…
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Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family) – Season Three
Mondays at 8pm, started Jan 2nd
Pretty Little Liars returns for a third season in which we still don’t have any clue who the fuck A. is. Lesbian Emily and/or Non-Lesbian Spencer will excite you. Spencer has that tough/smart thing lesians always go for, you know?
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Alcatraz (Fox) – NEW
Mondays at 9pm, starts Jan 16th
J.J Abrams brought you Lost and now he’s bringing you Alcatraz, a teevee show about two hot women dressed like Alpha Dapper Motherfuckers and a bunch of guys in suits. The premise is that when Alcatraz was shuttered in 1963, its prisoners weren’t transferred off the island, as we all believed, but rather had ALREADY ESCAPED! In fact, the two officers who showed up to collect the prisoners that day found it deserted. One prisoner has already resurfaced, and the hunt is on for: how this happened in the first place, that one prisoner, all the other prisoners. It stars Jorge Garcia, Sarah Jones, Parminder Nagra, Robert Forster and Sam Neill.
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Are You There, Chelsea? (NBC) – NEW!
Wednesdays at 8:30, starts Jan 11th
Fans of comedian Chelsea Handler will enjoy this sitcom, which is based on the words, thoughts and feelings of Chelsea Handler, starring that girl from That 70’s Show, a show which I admit I personally found unbearable. But ain’t she a tall drink of water!
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Portlandia (IFC) – Season Two
Fridays at 10 pm, starts January 6
In the second season premiere of Fred Armisen  and Carrie Brownstein‘s Portlandia, a “dreamy and absurd rendering of Portland, Oregon,” Doug and Claire become addicted to Battlestar Galactica. A sneak peek is already available online! It’s your lucky lucky day!
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Skins (e4) – Series 6
January 23rd in a different country
Many of us are a bit stressed about the potential erasure of genderqueer pansexual Franky‘s genderqueer pansexuality that’s been hinted at by the show’s actors and preview. But you know, it’s still Skins, so it’ll hopefully remain hella queer and totally outrageous.
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Napolean Dynamite (FOX) – NEW!
Sunday, January 15th, 8:30-9
If you liked the movie, you may or may not like its animated counterpart!
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House of Lies (Showtime) – NEW!
Sunday January 8th at 10pm
If you’re half as obsessed with Veronica Mars as my girlfriend is, you’re gonna love “House of Lies” because she’s in it. It’s a show about rich people using sex and lies to make money, so basically it’s like The West Wing of 2012.
What will you be watching this winter?
Consider me an Alcatraz-addict.
Ben Schwartz’s character should always be named Jean-Ralphio so color me disappointed that his name on House of Lies is Clyde.
30 Rock.
That Portlandia BSG was so damn funny because it’s SO true. Watched BSG in a massive marathon, my eyes were red from too little blinking :)
I think I watched the entire series in a weekend. Thank god for Netflix.
Jean Ralphio!!
The Secret Circle, for sure. I hate that I’m hooked on it but there’s so much delicious subtext.
If you haven’t discovered Lost Girl (http://www.syfy.com/lostgirl), you need to do so. It’s an AWESOME scifi/supernatural show featuring a bisexual succubus (and a totally hot lesbian doctor!), and it deals with sex and sexuality with a maturity that I haven’t seen in any US show (sorry, US shows). Search YouTube for ‘doccubus’ to get a flavour of the show, and be prepared to surrender your heart and soul to Zoie Palmer, who plays the hot doc. :D
oh my days Lost Girl is SO GOOD. I watched all of it in about 2 days and going to watch again. First show I’ve enjoyed every single part of for a while, its just great!
Alcatraz has some AWESOME lady cops.
I saw the first episode of Alcatraz, OH MY GOD! It was awesome! Consider me hooked
Omigod, SMASH! I was wondering in the recesses of my Glee-addled mind where the hell this show was.
While watching the trailor for Alcatraz I was too distracted thinking of the In Your Box Office Shutter/Shitter Island.
Speaking of Kristen Bell in “House of Lies,” I’m just gonna leave this here: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rqmFp5aVXTA/TvhP-8-I3EI/AAAAAAAAAGE/bpJQ4Cnp9W4/s1600/Kristen+Bell.gif
You’re welcome.
I think you guys posted about Smash like … a year ago, and I’ve been looking forward to it since then (damn you), so that. Also Alcatraz because Parminder Nagra and the only likeable character on Lost! And Fringe and the Good Wife because they’re amazing and the Vampire Diaries because it’s like crack to me.
FRINGE. :D YAY. Oh my god so much love.
The Good Wife. Yay for it being on this weekend!
There is a whole lot of bangs going on in that PLL promo pic
I have a lot of feelings about Smash.
I hate Glee.
I love Brian d’Arcy James. (The dude with the big eyebrows)
I love Debra Messing.
I am a musical theatre writer.
I am happy about “actual” musical theatre being portrayed, and not *cough*Glee*cough*.
That being said, I’m scared the powers that be will either 1) screw it up, 2) create the new Glee, and/or
3) My favorite Broadway actor (eyebrows) will become all Hollywood famous and not return to Broadway.
SO MANY FEELINGS!
My main concern is Katherine McPhony Broadway Actress. I don’t buy her as a leading lady/Broadway musical star at all, and apparently her character has no concept of showtunes because she sings that damn Christina Aquilera song for an audition in the commercial. But the cast is amazing otherwise, let’s be honest. I’d watch it if it was just Anjelica Huston vamping around for an hour.
A technicality- PLL is starting the second half of season 2, not it’s 3rd season.
Be still my bend-it-like-beckham-beating heart, I will be watching Alcatraz now that I know Parminder Nagra is in it.
Also, I’m counting down the minutes to Portlandia (I also marathoned BSG like that sketch thanks to Netflix)
Veronica Mars is the best show ever! Tell your girlfriend she is one hundred percent correct and that I too will be watching House of Lies for the magic that is Kristen Bell.
Agreed. Although I think Kristen Bell isn’t quite as interesting when she isn’t solving mysteries.
I’m looking forward to Smash and House of Lies as newcomers. Will probably check out the Chelsea Handler show and Alcatraz.
Portlandia. Put a bird on it.
OMIGOD JACK DAVENPORT IS IN SMASH. WHAT. :D Also Sam Neill in Alcatraz? WHY IS LIFE SO GOOD RIGHT NOW.
Definitely Smash!!!!
I’m excited for Love Life on BBC One, even though it’s air date is still completely elusive. Anything where my Girlfriend Belle du Jour (Billie Piper) and my Other Girlfriend Effy Stonem(Kaya Scodelario) make out is bound to be GOOD. Probably, I’d enjoy watching Effy Stonem make out with anyone though.
veronica mars and jean-ralphio? sign me up
Lying Liars Lies
I’m watching Sherlock, but the season is only three episodes long :( Moffaaaaat!!!
Game of Thrones: All I care about.
Lol I have a ton of friends in management consulting and at one point I considered it. Coupled with lots of sex and a Black tween son who opposes all that is cisgendered, this show is something I’m going to watch.
Plus in the pilot alone there was a pretty sick girl on girl scene between a client’s wife and the main character’s date in the bathroom during a business meeting. “I am my own man!” hahahaaa He didn’t react well when she told him in front of the whole restaurant that “she made me c– in ten minutes what you haven’t been able to do in 3 years!”
Kristen Bell didn’t get much play this ep except throwing some dolla bills at strippers and subtly flirting with Don Cheadle.