There is no one way to be trans. Every trans person should decide for themselves what medical changes to their body — if any! — they want. And these decisions should come from a deep inner desire. I started on hormones, because I wanted to start on hormones. I began electrolysis on my face because my beard made me feel dysphoric. I didn’t do these things for society — I did them for me.

Now that I have health insurance through my work and finally watched Reality Bites, I’ve started to consider certain surgeries that for a long time felt out of reach. I’ve always been adamant that I don’t mind my androgyny and that my womanhood isn’t dependent on looking cis. But that doesn’t mean I can’t still get surgeries if that feels right for me! Or even if it only feels right for me sometimes like the other night after I rewatched Girl, Interrupted.

Here are five trans-affirming surgeries I might want to be closer to the woman I see inside myself — and on my TV when I watch 90s Winona Ryder movies.

1. Facial Feminization Surgery

This is the big one. Do I feel attached to my face? Or do I want to change it so the world sees me as a woman? Maybe with a softened face I could get a cute pixie cut like some women in the 90s including Winona Ryder.

2. Tracheal shave

Or if I didn’t want full FFS I could at least reduce my Adam’s apple. I have a really big Adam’s apple and while it doesn’t bother me as much as it seems to bother other people, I have wondered what it’d be like to have a neck like Charlotte Flax from my favorite Winona Ryder movie Mermaids.

3. Breast augmentation

I’m not sure big boobs would feel right for me, but have you seen Winona Ryder in that black bra in Boys? I’d love to have cleavage like that.

4. Vocal surgery

Even if people out in the world read me as a woman based on my appearance, my voice is always a giveaway. I love my voice! I’ve always said I love my voice. But I also love Winona Ryder’s voice. Little Women is all about a girl finding her voice and maybe in Winona I’ve found mine.

5. Vaginoplasty

I feel most dysphoric about my genitalia. Sometimes when I come I feel like Edward Scissorhands on the waterbed. I’d love to be able to wear a wider variety of clothes and have new kinds of sex whether that’s with slacker Ethan Hawke or yuppie Ben Stiller. This is the trans surgery I’ve wanted since I first transitioned and, you know what, maybe this one doesn’t have anything to do with Winona.

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