Header by Rory Midhani
Feature image via shutterstock
Happy shark week, minnows! Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?
SCIENCE!
Okay, this isn’t true — dolphins are mammals, whereas shark are fish; dolphins have bone skeletons, whereas sharks have cartilage; and dolphins have to go to the surface to breathe air, whereas sharks can use their gills to extract oxygen from the water. But (some) dolphins are gay. So, at least there’s that!
Here are five more scientific facts, in honor of shark week. I’ve also included a small side of misandry, in honor of me being true to my feelings. Enjoy!
1. In January this year, a female zebra shark named Leonie was found to have reproduced without any genetic contributions from a male partner.
This makes her the first shark ever known to have switched from sexual reproduction to asexual.
Writes Rachel Feltman for Popular Science:
Parthenogenesis—asexual reproduction in a female—has been seen in other animals before, though it’s rare enough to cause a bit of a stir whenever it’s caught on the record. … In one of the two other known cases, a female eagle ray switched from sexual reproduction to producing a pup asexually less than one year after being separated from her male partner—which seems like an awfully short grieving period. The other case was even stranger, with a female boa constrictor giving birth to parthenogenic pups after reproducing sexually and while there were males available for her to mate with.
A zebra shark in Madagascar. Via shutterstock.
2. Nearly every single person ever bitten by a shark has been a man.
According to data from the global shark attack file, for every 100 shark attacks, a little over six will involve women. This disparity holds up pretty much across the world.
Why does this happen? “Probably because men are more likely to do stupid things,” speculated John West, curator of the Australian Shark Attack File at Taronga Zoo, to the Fairfax Media (subsequently picked up in the Sydney Morning Herald). “It reflects a historic pattern of more males engaged in marine aquatic activities, especially those that put humans most at risk, for example surfing, diving, long distance swimming, kayaking, etcetera.”
Image from Shark Attacks Globally.
3. Sharks have a cartilaginous skeleton, meaning that when they die, they don’t leave mineralized osseous tissue (bone) behind in the fossil record. Typically, all that remain of them are their bone-like teeth.
Perfect for biting men. Here’s Emily Graslie with more on fossil sharks:
4. The first effective shark repellent was discovered by “Shark Lady” Eugenie Clark, a marine biologist and leading shark researcher.
Check out this fascinating remembrance piece on her in the Washington Post:
The first time Dr. Clark encountered a massive, pregnant whale shark, off Baja California in 1980, she grabbed on to a fold of skin under the animal’s dorsal fin and rode it for an extended period of time, holding on to her air tank as it slid off her back.
“It was incredible,” Dr. Clark said in a 2008 interview, recalling how she lost sight of her colleagues who had remained on their vessel. “When I finally came up, I could barely see the boat, I was so far away.”
One of Dr. Clark’s most significant academic contributions came in the late 1950s, when she proved sharks could be trained to pick a target based on visual clues and could learn tasks as quickly as mammals. She eventually published her findings in the journal Science.
“It was the first demonstration of sharks’ intelligence,” said Robert Hueter, director of Mote’s Center for Shark Research, in an interview. “Before, people thought these were primitive, dimwitted animals, and she showed they were capable and had an important role in the marine environment.”
Clark had five husbands throughout her life, and in an interview with Florida Trends once reflected, “I want to be remembered as a nice person who didn’t hurt people — except my ex-husbands, maybe.”
Clark examines a whale shark pup in her lab. Photograph by David Doubilet. Via National Geographic.
5. On Sunday, Michael Phelps raced a great white shark. He lost.
The “shark” was actually a simulation, but I’d prefer to imagine that it was Katharine, the “misunderstood but sassy girl just tryin’ to get some fish” who you can follow on Twitter, thanks to @OCEARCH. Katharine is a 2300 lb white shark who was tagged in August 2013 and has traveled 32k miles since.
Live your life to the fullest. #MondayMotivation pic.twitter.com/SGXnb8Yjjh
— Katharine The Shark (@Shark_Katharine) July 24, 2017
Notes From A Queer Engineer is a recurring column with an expected periodicity of 14 days. The subject matter may not be explicitly queer, but the industrial engineer writing it sure is. This is a peek at the notes she’s been doodling in the margins.
Laura this is so delightful. I wish every depressing, mysoginist news story could be replaced by one of these misandrist!shark tales.
Dr. Clark!!!! What a babe!
I now want all my scientific facts presented with a side of misandry.
This was great thanks Laura!
Also bonus shout out to that shark in Seoul aquarium who ate a male shark because he kept bumping in to her! She is my inspiration.
That shark is my spirit animal
YESSSSSS, thank you for reminding me of this.
Lovely article. Being European I have a bit of a hard time figuring out the exact role and importance of Shark Week in the American media landscape but from what I’ve seen so far it seems part silly, part informative and almost all shark so it sounds like something I’d enjoy.
While traveling up Australia’s West Coast 3 years ago I did a lot of snorkelling and ran into black- as well as whitetip reef sharks almost daily.
Also did some diving with Great Whites around SA’s Neptune Islands. The first one I saw up close was around 4,4m, had a lot of scars and a shark hook lodged into the skin next to its gills (which contrary to standard fishing hooks is made out of solid steel and doesn’t desolve in salt water over time). Which is one of the reasons why the Western Australian shark cull policy was something I was quite appalled by and vocal about. For a country so keen on preserving their environment they treat one of the most important contributers to a stable marine ecosystem like crap.
Fascinating and impressive animals who deserve so much more respect and less judgement.
Last but not least: I’ve been following Katherine the Shark on twitter for almost half a decade now and she’s delightful.
Haha, @nebia92 your assessment of shark week is very accurate. Equal parts silly and informative.
That cull policy sounds horrifying.
I remeber texting my mom a link to a story about the zebra shark on Livescience. She replied: “Zebra shark is a strong women who don’t need no man”. I’m going to text her this story now! ?
I’m not your babe, I’m not your babe, Fernando, I’m a shark, I will eat you
“Probably because men are more likely to do stupid things,” speculated John West
I cackled so hard at this, I snotted out of my nose a little. Don’t even care
“On Sunday, Michael Phelps raced a great white shark. He lost.” we’ll miss you, michael phelps
Uh oh, my roommate is a Fernando. Better tell him to avoid the ocean.
“Probably because men are more likely to do stupid things,” speculated John West.
Was standing in line at Starbucks when I read this. Laughed so hard everyone started like I was crazy lol
This was great! Thank you for posting this and causing me to chuckle.
Everything about this is perfect and Dr. Clark is my hero.
“Probably because men are more likely to do stupid things,” speculated John West.
This applies to everything in life
Those “silent” beginning parts of puberty in a population of boys is measured/estimated by an increase of accidents, injuries and risk taking behaviors.
So spake my 10th grade science teacher at my all girls school.
My great great uncle died from a shark attack in northeast Brazil
Oh dear, I’m sorry to hear that!
It was in the early 1900s
He got free of the shark, swam to the shore but died upon getting to the beach.
Why are they called zebra sharks when they are spotted like a leopard :(
Also I now have an excellent collection of shark gifs, great article all round
I was happy to see Katy Perry’s left shark
Aww, thanks. <3
Fact, in Australia, sharks mostly nip at you in Australia. Unless you are near the state of South Australia. Then they don’t nip they rip you in half and leave a few pieces for the crab. They even double team sometimes with nothing left.
Great White sharks have one natural predator, no not man Killer Whales. Pods of Killer Whales off the coast of LA have figured out how to hunt Great White Sharks. They ram them at full speed in the stomach and knock them out. Then they feed. This method is so effective islands off the coast of California no longer have great whites hanging out during Seal season. Why because they are too scared to be there. In fact, scientists discovered that Shark liver oil is a natural repellent. Its fear inducing and will make a shark run far away, very far away.
Fascinating, thank you for sharing!
This is great — just what I needed today! I love that Autostraddle covers everything from science to fashion to how to buy your first home!
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