A smart and funny woman named Brittani Nichols once tweeted, “I used to wake up and check instagram in bed but now I wake up and check CNN and it’s good that I’m already lying down,” and when she tweeted that, I thought to myself, “Oh me too.” Although to be specific, I actually check my Apple News app, not CNN, but my Apple News app runs a lot of CNN stories. I sort of hate the Apple News App because it won’t run stories from Autostraddle, but I also sort of love the Apple News App because it gets me ALARMED as quickly as possible, before I’ve even had my Nespresso!
I’ve been remembering how I watched The Daily Show and eventually The Colbert Report with stunning regularity during the George W. Bush presidency. There were a lot of surveys that came out about how the youths were getting all their news from The Daily Show, and whenever I’d see one of them I’d think to myself, “Oh, me too.” Because it was too bleak to get any other way, you know? We needed the information but we also needed to laugh. Because laughter is the best medicine, it’s even better than Xanax! (And it’s even better WITH Xanax).
My only solace in these bleak times is enveloping myself in the warm embrace of dark humor. Here are some highlights of that particular coping strategy — a definitive collection of some of the best memes and parodies and satires to emerge from the hellmouth beneath our tender feet. Tell us what jokes and videos and memes and hashtags have gotten you through these dark days in the comments!
November 11, 2016: The Jobama memes
come back
December 18, 2016: Hillary Actually
remember when we had hope
January 4th: Bernie Sanders Brings Tweets to the Senate meme
The Inspiration: Bernie Sanders put a tweet on a poster board before every CVS ran out of poster board because of the protests.
The Result: MEME! Also, Gizmodo did a photoshop contest.
January 11th: You Are Fake News meme
Inspiration: At the short-fingered vulgarian’s first press conference as President-Elect, he pointed right at CNN and declared that they are Fake News.
You don’t get any mashed potatoes. Your organization brought nothing to this potluck. Your organization is fake news.
The Result: You are fake news
January 21st: Kate McKinnon Does Conway / Roxie
January 21st: Alternative Facts meme
The Inspiration: Kellyanne Conway referred to the Trump Administration’s account of inaguration crowd size as not a falsehood but an “alternative fact” because Kellyanne Conway is the fourth horseman of the Apocalypse if the Apocalypse included dressage.
The Result: #alternativefacts
January 23rd: America First, The Netherlands Second
Donald Trump said that from now on it is going to be “America First.” So a bunch of other countries put in their bids for “second,” starting with The Netherlands.
January 25th: Vicente Fox Quesada reminds Trump that Mexico Will Not Pay for that #Fuckingwall
The entire twitter feed of the former president of Mexico is a treasure. This man has been trolling Trump since early 2016 and I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF IT.
January 27th: The Daily Show: Welcome to Trump’s Reality
January 31st: Trump Draws Twitter
I love how Trump displays his Executive Orders like he thinks he just did really good on his art project but gluing a bunch of macaroni to a piece of construction paper was not the assignment.
— Trump Draws (@TrumpDraws) January 31, 2017
January 29th: Favorite Travel Memories
The Inspiration: A 2011 tweet from Trump Hotels asking visitors to share their favorite travel memories took on a new life after Trump’s Muslim Travel Ban.
The Result: Half of new answers to this old question were biting and serious and important — stories about successful immigration, and escaping war-torn countries for the US — and the other half were FUNNY JOKES.
Feb. 1st: Frederick Douglass Getting Recognized More and More
The Inspiration: Donald Trump’s idiotic statement on Black History Month, which read like a parody of itself, especially this part:
The Result: This joke will last forever and ever, just like the life of Frederick Douglass.
Feb. 2nd: #PenceBlackHistory meme
The Inspiration: Mike Pence, a disquieting man I’m 95% sure is Jason DiLaurentis in a fancy mask, did his country and his people a great service by reminding them to celebrate Black History Month by thanking a white man, Abraham Lincoln, for ending slavery.
The Result: #penceblackhistory
Feb. 2nd: Bowling Green Massacre
The Inspiration: Noted spokeswoman Kellyanne Conway invented a fake massacre to garner support for Trump’s stupid travel ban.
The Result: New Yorkers held a Vigil for Kellyanne Conway’s imaginary terrorist attack, some started a fundraising campaign to support the victims, others just went to twitter with the #BowlingGreenMassacre and #JeSuisBowlingGreen.
Feb. 3rd: Dress Like A Woman meme
The Inspiration: A report from Axios that went behind the scenes of Donald Trump’s White House, providing us with fashion insight:
The Result: Because “dressing like a woman” only requires “being a woman” and “putting on clothes,” Twitter had a real field day with this one.
Feb 4th: So-Called President meme
The Inspiration:
The Result:
Feb 4th: Melissa McCarthy as Sean Spicer on SNL
I will never feel joy like this again
Feb 6th: I Call My Own Shots
The Inspiration:
The Result:
Feb. 9th: I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT
The Inspiration:
Donald J. Trump’s grown-up, presidential, totally mature and sensical reaction to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals refusing to grant a stay on the order halting his travel ban.
The Result:
Feb 9th: “Easy D”
The Inspiration:
The Result:
Feb 15th: Straightforward From Here meme
The Inspiration: I love Sally Kohn deeply with my whole heart and want you to know that she is enjoying this meme as much as we are.
The Result:
Feb 15th: Portraits in Courage – Paul Ryan on Full Frontal With Samantha Bee
February 16th: Fine-Tuned Machine
Today’s press conference legitimately killed me. I am a ghost now. But here’s some jokes about Trump’s bonkers assertion that his administration is running like a “fine-tuned machine”:
"This administration is running like a fine tuned machine" pic.twitter.com/cuuF0LLLSG
— Robyn Urback (@RobynUrback) February 16, 2017
Eternally: Ashley Feinberg’s Entire Twitter Stream
Look, I’m in love with Ashley Feinberg, a blogger for the world-renowned Gizmodo Media empire. I think she’s amazing, I wish she was gay and married to me, everything is fine, we’re all doing great. You probably follow a lot of people on twitter who are funny but are any of them as funny or as knowledgable about Trump’s entire twitter history as Ashley Feinberg? Probably not. Are any of them looking for pics of Ted Cruz playing sports? Nope. Just Ashley.
My soulmate:
So what has made you laugh since November 9th, 2016? Tell me all about it.
what makes me laugh since we chose the form of our destructor? writin’ and tellin’ jokes:
I’m not into boxing but you know what fight I would watch?
Donald Trump vs Suze Orzman.
Snooki’s the ring girl; George Hamilton’s the ref.
Forget college football- this is the actual orange bowl.
13/10 would watch again
“Mike Pence, a disquieting man I’m 95% sure is Jason DiLaurentis in a fancy mask,” — I’ll have you know I choked on my kale smoothie.
Thanks for this, Riese. It’s a relief to be able to laugh from inside the shitnado* sometimes.
(*like a sharknado, but with the words coming out of trump’s mouth)
http://www.everysecondcounts.eu – roundup of the America-first-…-second-clips :)
Spain and Iran are also really funny! I feel like Portugal didn’t get the humor and went ahead and made a commercial for their country.
Riese, hearing you talk about Ashley Feinberg on the podcast made me laugh lolol
(also, 2 Dope Queens and Throwing Shade are helping me tremendously at the moment. and samantha bee is my everything.)
SHE’S SO FUNNY CATHERINE
Wait wait did we forget #GoldenShowers?
i couldn’t bring myself to really go all-in on that one
FAIR
THANK YOU FOR THIS
The number one thing making me laugh these days is Sarah Lerner’s @IfHillaryHad twitter feed, and the associated @Bill_Errands and @Alt-VP48 feeds. Seriously, I want to live in their alternative universe so badly. Where is Barry Allen to take me to that Earth?!
“Twinkle, twinkle
little czar
Putin put you where you are”
Saw it on it a protest sign, giggled my cough drop out my mouth. I may or may not have ruined the tune to Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star for the Trump voters/appeasers in my life with it. I hum it and they get annoyed as if I was singing that re-write. :)
“Idea for Senate Confirmation Hearings: Show the nominees Mad Max Fury Road and ask them to identify which character is the villain”
Screenshot of a tweet, I covered my face and fell over laughing and muttering ‘this isn’t funny oh my god no not funny”
Because Immortan Joe has much in common with the values of Drumpf and Pence.
But is like competent at waging war.
Should be “tinkle, tinkle” given the whole #goldenshowers thing…
I will take that into consideration next time I sing it, thank you. >D
I’ve been keeping a mental list of my favourite Drumpf nicknames:
Cheeto Benito
Trumplethinskin
Anal Rump
Twitler
So-Called Ruler of the U.S. (=SCROTUS)
and of course the excellent anagram Lord Dampnut
Also for his fanclub:
Trumpsters
Trumplings
Trumpettes
Breitbrats
Am I missing any??
TRUMPANZEES
Collectively: the Trumpster fire
Cheetoh Hitler
God I love Cheeto Benito, any ref to a fascism not Hitler is wind beneath my filthy wings
Mango Mussolini
Cheetolini
Agent Orange, but perhaps that one should reserved for his EPA director pick.
Putin’s nickname for him: Comb-over to Russia
Found the thing I wasn’t sure if I could find so I didn’t mention it but here it is:
https://audioboom.com/posts/5471405-the-trumpster-quote-1
Mark Hamill doing voice overs of the Joker using Trump tweets as a script.
*cough* I like my humor how I like my knights, Dark. *cough*
<_<
Augh I almost forgot this (too many windows, panic working/not working on paper)
The rogue National Park Service twitter account, this possibly their most brutal slayage of The Tiny Hands in Chief.
I don’t know how we’re going to make it through four years
Samantha Bee is my god now
<3 yessssssss
Stef and Erin.
The newest Pokemon title came out on November 18th and people were naming a certain blonde murder weasel after Donald Trump and sending it through the online trading system in droves. Gotta say naming a few rodents after Trump and throwing them out into the world does make you feel better, if only for a second.
Since the election, I’ve been actively seeking out more comedies to watch because I need something to laugh about in the midst of all this craziness. Shows like Speechless, Superstore, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and black-ish have been restorative.
Luvvie Ajayi has kept me in stitches during these dark times. She’s a must-follow on twitter and her blog…well, here are a few samples of her recent work:
– Where is Hillary Clinton? Hopefully Taking ALL the Naps She Deserves!
– Dear President Barack Obama, So This Love is Just Over?
– A Handy Guide to Disrespecting Cheeto Satan From Inauguration and Beyond
In that vein, I highly recommend folks watch The Good Place
The only reason I’m surviving reading the news is Samantha Bee
Let’s just say that Melissa McCarthy’s QVC special was almost orgasmic. I can’t stop imagining Spicer using heels every single time he’s on that podium.
The only good thing you can find in this never-ending shit-hole is that it seems we’re entering into a Golden Age for political humor and late-night shows. We can also add signs to that list, because come on…
PD: I totally agree with everyone here, SAMANTHA BEE IS GOD.
jesus, are we making up memes this fast now?
We need all the laughs and hope we can get.
It’s citrus season y’all and I’ve been eating a lot of those cuties–you know, the tiny tangerines that are easy to peel. I came up with this gem the other day:
What do these tangerines and the so-called president have in common?
They’re both thin-skinned and orange.
Thanks for the literal lols today! Also, I really don’t understand wtf Trump meant with that “easy D” comment. Idk if I’m just slow or its literal nonsense.
my best guess is that “D” is for “decision,” as in “ninth circuit court of appeals ruling.” but that doesn’t fit in a tweet, so… easy d is what we got.
Aside from the radical “Moose Lambs” and the glory of Samantha Bee? The fact that the “golden shower” controversy allowed me to reference EdTV while mocking Mr. Cheesy Poof with my photoshop skills.
My great uncle died, but whenever I start thinking how sad I am about it, I start laughing because I think of something funny he said. He was the funniest guy and had so many great jokes. Today I thought about when he was in hospital years ago (we thought he was dying then but he wasn’t) for alcoholism-related health problems and he told us he was there because the doctors found “some blood in his alcohol stream”.
He recently told me the most Uncle joke ever:
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder.
(Many of his jokes and stories were about cows because he grew up lower-working-class in the rural countryside.) Humor is important. ♡
It’s not exactly written as humor, but I’ve been getting real laughs and levity (how old am I? I sound like my dad?) from The Merriam-Webster Dictionary’s tweets trolling Trump and his administration. I looked into working for Merriam-Webester as some kind of writer/editor, but no luck.
I’m also glad that John Oliver is making new episodes of Last Week Tonight again, both because of the tone and quality of the show’s research and because taking a longer view is both important and difficult lately. When so much happens each day, it’s a challenge to see the trends over a week or a month.
Following the “America First Netherlands Second” video, a German baseball team posted an article on their facebook page entitled “Soccer first, Baseball second”.
Among other things, it explains the advantages of baseball gloves (“no tiny hands in great gloves, everybody will see big hands, it’s brilliant”) and what’s so great about softball (“you’ll love it, women playing with big balls, it’s true”).
whenever i get sad, i look at merriam-webster’s twitter account. i truly feel blessed to be alive at a moment in time when i can get on the internet machine and watch strict prescriptivists, people who don’t like the word genderqueer, and the president of the united states get mercilessly roasted by the dictionary. what a world we live in.
i also just started listening to julie goldman’s “dumb gay politics” podcast and it’s a total riot.