Well weirdos, I’m at A-Camp right now. Which means I’m hoping that nothing big happened in the tech world this week because I am writing this post approximately one million years in advance. I’m doing this because when I go camping, especially A-Camping, I want to unplug and unwind. Turns out, though, there are some weird camping technologies out there in the world. Some of them sound cool and useful. Others sound bizarre and I wonder what the hell these camping people are doing. Is this that glamping thing the kids are doing these days?
1. Air Mattress With Speakers
Because who wants to actually hear nature anyway?
2. Biolite Camp Stove
via Gear Patrol
Because cooking fires that don’t charge your gadgets are so last year. Apparently the size of a water bottle.
3. Hand Crank Blender
4. Wrist-Mounted Mosquito Repelling System
5. WrapStove
Heats up individual pots, makes obsolete my favorite part of camping. #teamFire.
6. Portable Shower
I think this image is funnier than anything I could ever write regarding this apparent travesty: 
7. Double Flash Light.
Lights what’s ahead and where your feet go. Marketed to senior citizens. Should be marketed to tipsy/tired queers on a mountain navigating the dark and avoiding bears.* *These two groups are not mutually exclusive.
8. CamelBak All Clear UV Water Purification System
Ugh, okay, FINE this is pretty cool.
9. Scrubba Wash Bag
Ugh, FINE FINE FINE THIS IS COOL AND I WANT IT, OKAY? I can think of several points in my life where this would have been useful.
10. Tauntaun Sleeping Bag
It’s not a gadget. But I know y’all. I see y’all. I know you want to know this is exists.
This has been the eightieth installment of Queer Your Tech with Fun, Autostraddle’s nerdy tech column. Not everything we cover is queer per se, but we talk about customizing this awesome technology you’ve got. Having it our way, expressing our appy selves just like we do with our identities. Here we can talk about anything from app recommendations to choosing a wireless printer to web sites you have to favorite to any other fun shit we can do with technology. Feature image via Shutterstock Header by Rory Midhani
As a hardcore “tents are overrated, mosquitos are your friends and dying in the wilderness is fun” camper, to me, calling an air mattress a camping gadget is almost offensive, but that Scrubba Wash Bag may have just moved to #1 on my list of things I would buy if I wasn’t a poor student…
Ok so you can get a sleeping bag with arms and legs in it so you can walk about. I feel people need to know this information.
P.S. I need the last 3.
i totally need that double flash light thing for winning festival season. just how awesome would it be to simply walk to the toilets without falling over other tents/people sleeping outside? also, the tauntaun sleeping bag. SO rock’n’roll.
Saw “double flashlight” read “double fisting”. I’m in a weird place right now
The Wrap Stove actually looks brilliant! There are many situations where open fires are not permitted. And if I could replace my backpacking stove + fuel setup with this, I’d love it! Can’t find any sites where it’s actually for sale though…
I want to know WHO takes a hand-powered blender when they go camping?! That would be one hard core fresh smoothie lover.
It would be great, but there have been some pretty good breakdowns of all the flaws in this design system. I wish it worked as amazingly as it looks.
That’s too bad, but would explain why it never went to market. If it looks too good to be true, etc., etc…
What even is going on with that portable shower diagram???
And apparently it requires child labor. So think twice before you buy if you don’t have kids. Maybe you could train your cats to drag water from a steam but that would make me cry.
Doh! Stream not steam.
OMG, that Scrubba Wash Bag would have been awesome when I was walking the Camino.
As someone who goes camping in Wales, I appreciate the need for the Scubba bag, but in reality, getting my clothes wet is never a problem, It’s getting them any dryer than soggy that I find the hardest part.
I can vouch for the BioLite being completely awesome and handy. For situations where you don’t have enough wood around (or just don’t feel like) building a fire to cook or boil water, this thing is awesome… it can boil water in minutes and all you need are a few twigs and pine cones. Fire starters help if you’re in a rainy area. And you don’t have to carry around tanks of propane! It is super light. The iphone charger thing is really just a side benefit.
Totes yes for the camelbak and portable washing thing. The wash bag actually works. A friend of mine took it camping a while ago (not A-camping) when they became forest people for 3 nights.
The biolite looks super useful, actually. If I weren’t a poor college student, it’d definitely go on my list of gear I’m planning on buying. (It might still go on my list of gear to buy because it’s cheaper than I thought (way cheaper than another kayak anyway). And I currently don’t have a camping stove. And I’ll want one this summer if nothing changes as far as getting a roof over my head for August.)
The scrubba doesn’t look like it’s worth the money though. It’s literally a dry bag with some bumpy stuff on the inside, and I could definitely jerryrig something for far cheaper. Especially since I have a drybag already.
it can boil water in minutes and all you need are a few twigs and pine cones. Fire starters help if you’re in a rainy area