Sponsored by Eve’s Toys.
It’s been a long year, and by “year” I mean “six months” but also “decade.” You deserve some big pleasure, something you can count on to make you feel good — really, really good. That’s why we’ve picked out some of the best-in-class powerhouse products from Eve’s; whether you’ve decided you can’t settle for the bachelorette-gift-bag vibrator you’ve been making do with for years or you’re ready to bring your first sex toy home, these choices will leave you feeling thoroughly banged for your buck.
Visit Eve’s Toys and enter code AUTO at checkout for 50% off one item & free shipping on orders over $20 in the US. (Note: Some items are only eligible for free shipping and a partial discount. These items are noted in the post.) 100% satisfaction guarantee.
Womanizer Premium
There’s never been a better time for the air-pressurized vibrator that’s changed so many lives to change yours. Our reviewer says that “if you enjoy clitoral stimulation, I feel really really confident saying you are going to be obsessed with this toy. It has a cult following for a reason. … It is [not] an exaggeration to say that this toy not only met but absolutely exceeded every single expectation I had.” What if you could realistically count on a mind-blowing experience every time? Perhaps the Womanizer Premium is how you find out!
Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration
50% Discount
Ready to be womanized in a gender-inclusive way, but not as ready for the price point? Find out whether the life of air pressure plus vibration is for you (not saying it definitely is, but am saying that I have yet to meet a person who’s tried air-pressure stimulation who hasn’t been into it in a really serious way) with the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration! Sexy and sleek with combined air-pressure waves and 10 vibration functions, the Satisfyer Pro has what it takes to get you anywhere you need to go, several times, and then perhaps a few more times after a break for water.
Buy the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration
Thruster Dual Vibrator
50% Discount
In 2020 we have sex toys that can work with Bluetooth, sync to a playlist, even create data readouts of your orgasms — what a world. Even with this embarrassment of riches, you may still be left standing in your tower window, staring out into the middle distance, wistfully longing for the simple, time-honored pleasure of getting absolutely railed. Fancy external vibrators may not be able to provide this, but the Thruster can, along with internal vibration and a rabbit-style external stimulator for your clit. Go with God.
Buy the Thruster Dual Vibrator
nJoy Pure Wand
10% Discount
Honestly nothing compares to the noy wand, and I’ve looked. If you know that you like intense g-spot stimulation, you’ll never make a better investment than the Pure Wand, and you’ve never deserved it more than now. This is the best next stop for you not only if you’ve decided to go on a personal squirting journey over quarantine, but also for anyone who wants to treat themselves to something beautiful and timeless that exists only to be pleasurable. Whoo! This is it, babe.
WeVibe Touch
10% Discount
If you’ve been waiting to invest in a grownup vibrator, now is your time, and the WeVibe Touch is your vibrator. It’s small and intuitively designed, whisper-quiet and waterproof for bath and shower play; more importantly, way more powerful than its size would suggest! It can even fit against your body under a harness! If you’ve been hemming and hawing waiting for the right time to commit to a vibrator, this is your sign.
Fr Pinpoint Silicone Vibe
30% Discount
Different types of sensation can make all the difference. If mid-range wand-style vibrators or bullets have never really done it for you, it’s possible that pinpoint vibration is what your body likes best. The small, flexible tip can deliver sensation to just the right spots, and the feeling of moving a toy just a millimeter and feeling your whole body shift is pretty incredible. Know what I mean or want to find out? Try it!
Buy the Fr Pinpoint Silicone Vibe
Uberlube
30% Discount
Is there a Cadillac, a Vitamix, a Basil Hayden of lube? There is, and it’s Uberlube. Silky, smooth and endlessly lubricating, Uberlube is the ideal lubricated experience and a premiere silicone lube. Can you use it with every toy in your collection? Not with silicone toys, no, but the metal, glass or other non-silicone toys — or your hands! — will take you places you’ve never been before with this lube for people who love themselves.
Wild Ride with Power Boost
50% Discount
Every day of this year, it feels, I’ve woken up wishing for a wild ride. It hadn’t even occurred to me to ask for a power boost along with it — that might have felt overly ambitious — but wow, here it is anyway. A vibrating internal dildo designed to stimulate your g-spot with a suction cup to anchor on to a wall or floor (or mirror or private window) and a “‘power boost’ feature [that] delivers 10 seconds of ultra strong vibrations”? Who among us, in 2020, does not deserve what this toy has to offer?
Buy the Wild Ride with Power Boost
S&M Silicone Anal Beads
50% Discount
For many, this time of pause and solitude has been a catalyst for self-examination. For exploration. And, for some of us, for trying out butt stuff. If that rings a bell for you, or you’re ready to try something beyond butt plugs with super smooth silicone and a unique, inviting shape, maybe the triangled S&M silicone anal beads are for you. (Just be sure to keep a finger through the loop as you dive in.)
Buy the S&M Silicone Anal Beads
Magic Wand Rechargeable
5% Discount 
If you’re still on the fence about what to take home that will truly blow you — and your date, and the one after that, and the one after that — away, there’s really nothing like the Magic Wand. It’s simply the best. With super-strong, rumbly vibrations incomparable to anything else, the vibrator that generations swear by is always a welcome gift (to yourself).
Buy the Magic Wand Rechargeable
Visit Eve’s Toys and enter code AUTO at checkout for 50% off one item & free shipping on orders over $20 in the US. (Note: Some items are only eligible for free shipping and a partial discount. These items are noted in the post.) 100% satisfaction guarantee.
I am willing to go on record as a person who the air pressure + vibration toys absolutely, fully do not work for! I was really disappointed about this because they’ve been so hyped up, but it is a full no for me.
Very interesting blog post, its amazing. Thank you very much for this great info.
THANK YOU RACHEL! How long does this offer last?
It’s a forever code! It lasts for infinity!